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#1
Feb 12, 2017, 05:36 AM
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I am responsible for my actions but I crave forgiveness. I crave for a reset. I crave to go back to where I was. A do over. I keep having flashbacks. I am riddled with guilt. Every day.
I follow strategies but my mind won't stop. Even when swimming the other day. I can't swim well but I love the water so much. But my mind was just going crazy. Bipolar has ruined my life and I fear it will soon take it. I've tried twice. If it wasn't so hard it would just be easier. |
 *Laurie*, Anonymous48690, Anonymous59125, b1ghr0ll3r, bizi, crunchyt, Flutterby11, Fuzzybear, MusicLover82, Unrigged64072835, Wander
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#2
Feb 12, 2017, 08:37 AM
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It sounds like you are in a very painful and dark place. I'm glad you reached out here. There is a lot of support and you are not alone. Are you on meds and if so you should tell your pdoc or t about what is going on. Please get some help and don't lose hope.
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| bizi
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#3
Feb 12, 2017, 08:50 AM
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i am sorry you are feeling so bad i hope you feel better soon
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| bizi
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#4
Feb 12, 2017, 08:52 AM
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I feel for you. it took me three years after my dash-crash to come to the conclusion that despite my current limitations to lifestyle I was better off.
I'm not sure about you, but money is my barrier. It prevents me from living any semblance of my former life. At times I resent this and grieve my former life. But i have now realised there were some very unpleasant things about that life that i most definitely don't miss. It took all that time to come to the realization. That period was full of a lot of darkness. i want you to realize that there is potential for things to improve. Part of my journey involved learning to reach out - and CBThelped a great deal too. |
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#5
Feb 12, 2017, 09:58 AM
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I am glad you are still here
(((((hugs)))) |
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#6
Feb 12, 2017, 10:01 AM
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Quote:
Untreated bp is a bleak way to live....I too felt the same until I got on meds and were tweaked right.....then it all has changed for the better. All the irritability and negative thoughts about myself melted away and I'm able to take a satisfying deep breath of fresh air....seeing past the fog. I hope you see your mental health care provider, present to them how you feel and hopefully receice the proper treatment you need. Hang in there hon...it can get better. 
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#7
Feb 12, 2017, 11:40 AM
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Thanks all. I am medicated but it just doesn't seem to stop. This depression has been in force for 6 months. I had a real lift for two tweets. I didn't feel manic but it's gone and I'm back in my slump fearful about living alone and just Ne et recovering.
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| Anonymous59125
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#8
Feb 12, 2017, 04:48 PM
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Sorry you're not doing well. Maybe you need to get a med adjustment? Sometimes I need that when the depression gets bad.
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 bizi
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#9
Feb 12, 2017, 09:50 PM
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do you have a therapist to talk to? friends? people who care, family that you trust?
bizi
__________________
lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
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#10
Feb 12, 2017, 10:42 PM
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Has your pdoc tried you on an SSRI (type of antidepressant)? You sound like you're experiencing symptoms similar to me when I need an SSRI added to my meds. Things CAN and WILL get better. Make sure your doctor knows your symptoms and ask about maybe getting on an antidepressant if that could possibly help.
__________________
...Out of night and alarm Out of terrible dreams Reach me your hand! This is the meaning that we suffered in sleep: The white peace of the waking. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Song of the Nations"~ Diagnoses: Bipolar 2, OCD, Chronic Worrywart Meds: Lithium (reducing), Trileptal, Latuda, Risperdal, Klonopin and Xanax PRN |
| Anonymous59125, bizi
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| bizi
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#11
Feb 12, 2017, 11:15 PM
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If you fear you may take your life, go to the hospital. Suicidal thoughts are not something to mess with. You can get care quickly at the hospital, and be feeling better much more quickly. HUGS!! Get help!
__________________
...Out of night and alarm Out of terrible dreams Reach me your hand! This is the meaning that we suffered in sleep: The white peace of the waking. ~Edna St. Vincent Millay, "Song of the Nations"~ Diagnoses: Bipolar 2, OCD, Chronic Worrywart Meds: Lithium (reducing), Trileptal, Latuda, Risperdal, Klonopin and Xanax PRN |
| bizi
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| bizi
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#12
Feb 13, 2017, 01:42 PM
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"If it wasn't so hard, it would just be easier". <---- well put. It's hard. Unfairly hard. (((Hugs)))
I hope you find what you need to help. Something to make it all easier to bare. Something that will reduce your fears and increase your joy. (((Hugs))) |
| Gabyunbound
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| Gabyunbound
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| Reply |
This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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