[CuriouslyCrazy]

My aunt passed away last night. She was like a second mother to me. I'm not sure how I feel right now. Maybe numb? I don't know how this is going to play out. I've already been having trouble sleeping the last week or so, and last night I slept 3 hours.

How has death affected you in the past? Did you spiral into an episode?

I lost my sister six years ago. I had similar concerns, but I had a wonderful therapist who helped me distinguish normal grief from a depressive episode. The grief was overwhelming, but it was different from depression. Grief was normal. It was even purposeful in a sense. It was hugely painful, but there was a real, identifiable, and rational reason for it. It helped to remember that and not fear it as an "episode."

things got really bad when I lost bethany

so bad to the point that I kept feeling their was an american guy called anthony following me everywhere (why american and why anthony I don't know)

took ages to get over that

also recently when our friend steven died it really affected us (not as much, but it did)

the biggist affect on us though was when michael jackson died (a whole year of just, unexplained stuff)

I think i may have mentioned it ages ago in another thread, but celebrity death impact me more than family death

though it's a selfish reason, I think it's because they all treated me like crap, and I lost all respect for them all ages ago

[Unrigged64072835]

When my parents died it was rather numbing for a while. Even though we weren't close for many years it was rough for a while. But I also married between the two deaths, so it was rather a roller-coaster.

[June81280]

I'm scared of dieing and leaving my kids behind

[wildflowerchild25]

I lost my father at ten years old. I denied my grief for about ten years because I wasn't emotionally mature enough to handle it. That caused severe depression during my teens. Eventually I went to a trauma program and worked through the grief in therapy. I was relatively symptom free for about six years.

In 2012 my bipolar symptoms reappeared. I went through hell for a long time.

On may 28 2015, I found my husband dead on the kitchen floor. I had been in a mild depressed episode already. When I found out it was drugs I went crazy. A week later I severely injured myself and had to get stitches and go IP. I spent a week IP trying to understand the magnitude of my grief.

When I got out of IP I was determined to recover, from bp and from the trauma and grief. I went to an IOP program so I could have a place to talk about what happened. I threw myself into physical health to try to distract myself, by quitting smoking, joining a gym, and changing my diet. That probably helped a bit. I managed to stay out of a severe depression until about January, when the stress and pain of my first Christmas without him became too much for me. I went back to IOP and switched medications.

Now I have been depression free for over a year. I have a great therapist who helps me talk about the trauma and grief. I still struggle, of course, but there is a difference between grief and depression, at least for me. I can tell which is which.

I think therapy is the most helpful when dealing with grief. There are lots of support groups for grief as well. I've never gone because my social anxiety is too high, but I wish I could.

[BipolaRNurse]

I've been through a lot of losses in my life, including my second child in 1984 and my husband in 2016. I was undiagnosed when my daughter and parents died, which meant I was a hot mess who didn't know the difference between grief and depression. With his death, however, I've remained relatively stable because I'm medicated adequately AND because I do know the difference. It's made me more self-aware. I still have 'hiccups' at times, when one blends into the other and I feel all mixed up. But overall I think I have a better handle on my life, even though I hurt so much it's almost physically painful.

[gayleggg]

I lost my mother 9 years ago and was severely depressed. Stayed that way for sometime. My dad died two years later and I was more settled and calm. I'm not scared of dying now. I look at as peace.

[newtus]

I would be devastated to lose my dad. He had 2 strokes two years apart. Due to alcoholism. Almost lost him. I went into a psychotic episode shortly after both those incidents. I have schizoaffective. Idk. I stayed by his side day in and out.

Now, its hard to leave his side. Hes ok now. But still drinks. But i worry when he goes to work and i worry all day and night until i see him again.

[neodoering]

Originally Posted by CuriouslyCrazy

My aunt passed away last night. She was like a second mother to me. I'm not sure how I feel right now. Maybe numb? I don't know how this is going to play out. I've already been having trouble sleeping the last week or so, and last night I slept 3 hours.

How has death affected you in the past? Did you spiral into an episode?

Good afternoon, CuriouslyCrazy;
My father died two months ago, and yes, his passing brought on an increase in my symptoms (SZA). Trouble sleeping, loud voices shouting obscenities, etc. About a week ago all this culminated in a suicide attempt, and a near-total psychotic break. No fun, but I feel MUCH better now. Grief works itself out in strange ways. My friends have offered their ears, and my psychiatrist was supportive. I don't know how long this will go on, but I trust I can ultimately deal with it.

I'm sorry your aunt died, and I hope you have good support for your own grieving process. It takes a while to work through. Make sure your friends and family know what happened, so they can give you good support and help alleviate the pain.