[LadyShadow]

Hello there!

I would put this in the Spirituality section but I want to hear from my bipolar friends for this. I have been struggling with my spirituality lately because I don't know if it is mania or a genuine spiritual experience.

All the times I have been in psychosis it has been spiritually related. I feel a strong connection to God and my holy self and my soul. It is an incredibly moving experience, but it goes TOO far and I end up in the hospital, (I actually think God and Jesus are speaking to me).

Well anyway, my sister and I have started going to Church to try and find our way. We are not very religious but we just want to be a part of something moving as I am struggling to find my faith again. The problem is I feel nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I am stable even though I still have highs and lows, but I don't feel any connection to my soul and my spirituality is very important to me. So how do you know if it's spiritual and NOT mania? How do you know if your connection to your higher self is just not you being manic? I want to FEEL faith again so desperately but I don't feel anything. It breaks my heart, because I feel like I no longer have a soul.

Thoughts?

[Happy Camper]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

Thoughts?

Why can't mania be a spiritual experience? Why does mania HAVE to be just mania?

If you're not feeling anything maybe you haven't found the right set of beliefs yet.

[bioChE]

You have a soul, no need to worry about whether or not it's there. Regarding a place to worship, have you checked out various churches in your area?

[Wild Coyote]

Spiritual experiences feel more intense with hypomania/mania.
It's possible to have both a spiritual experience and mania.

Many spiritual leaders deal with some degree of mania. I have seen this first hand, over and over again. Many of them go on sabbaticals (or otherwise disappear) when they get too depressed.

Maybe you have both a spiritual experience and some mania?
I've had both spiritual experiences and hypomania.

I have seen your posts on your spiritual struggles over the past year.
My heart goes out to you, not because you are missing anything, but that you are saddened while feeling you are missing out somehow.


WC

[jacky8807]

I know the struggle. I feel the closest to God when manic. intense spirituality and all the super powers that come with it. but I.....idk .....i think they ARE real. there is something about being in that altered state that lends itself to being in a higher frequency.
when I'm depressed I can't hear God and when I'm stable......well he's there but its a struggle to find him sometimes. like trying to feel closer to a distant relative

[ComfortablyNumb5]

In an article I just read recently, religious thoughts like god is talking to you is common in mania. But yea it could be that you just really love church lol. I never got this way because as I like to put it, I don't have any religion. Signs of mania can manifest in many different ways for each person. Just ask yourself if this is more than than usual and is it delusional?

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by Happy Camper

Why can't mania be a spiritual experience? Why does mania HAVE to be just mania?

If you're not feeling anything maybe you haven't found the right set of beliefs yet.

This is a possibility, but I think I am on the right track. The fact is I don't FEEL anything spiritual unless it leads up to mania. The meds numb me out and keep me stable. But I think I am on the right path, just gotta keep looking......

Originally Posted by bioChE

You have a soul, no need to worry about whether or not it's there. Regarding a place to worship, have you checked out various churches in your area?

Me and my sister have been to church and again I don't FEEL anything. I am kind of afraid to go into a church by myself, because I never went into one before. That might not be the right place for me to start.

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Spiritual experiences feel more intense with hypomania/mania.
It's possible to have both a spiritual experience and mania.

Many spiritual leaders deal with some degree of mania. I have seen this first hand, over and over again. Many of them go on sabbaticals (or otherwise disappear) when they get too depressed.

Maybe you have both a spiritual experience and some mania?
I've had both spiritual experiences and hypomania.

I have seen your posts on your spiritual struggles over the past year.
My heart goes out to you, not because you are missing anything, but that you are saddened while feeling you are missing out somehow.


WC

Thank you for this. I have been struggling for a while. I know when it comes and I love how it feels. I am able to talk to God and I feel He can hear me when I am in mania. I agree, that some spiritual leaders put themselves in a sort of mania to feel closer to spirit. I think that it comes from within and finding the right balance.

Thank you for always looking out for me this past year, your insight has always been helpful.

Originally Posted by jacky8807

I know the struggle. I feel the closest to God when manic. intense spirituality and all the super powers that come with it. but I.....idk .....i think they ARE real. there is something about being in that altered state that lends itself to being in a higher frequency.
when I'm depressed I can't hear God and when I'm stable......well he's there but its a struggle to find him sometimes. like trying to feel closer to a distant relative

You see! I struggle with the same EXACT thing. The manic spiritual experiences feel SO REAL to ME. They always do. Thank you for your insight, it's good to know I am not alone.

Originally Posted by RxQueen875

In an article I just read recently, religious thoughts like god is talking to you is common in mania. But yea it could be that you just really love church lol. I never got this way because as I like to put it, I don't have any religion. Signs of mania can manifest in many different ways for each person. Just ask yourself if this is more than than usual and is it delusional?

That's the problem how do I know if my delusions are NOT spiritual? I don't really have a religion either, but some people that are not manic are very moved by faith and I just want to know how they do it I guess.

I want to say a special to everyone who participated in this discussion, I am still struggling with my spirituality, and I think talking about it with others helps. If you have any other comments or suggestions I would be open to hearing them, thank you again.

[rwwff]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

That's the problem how do I know if my delusions are NOT spiritual? .

I think mania crosses that line when one goes from highly spiritual, to being a spiritual authority that others should listen to, urgently!

[Moon Lotus]

Hi Lady Shadow,
I understand how you feel. I think religion is the set of beliefs we have set in place to deal with this world (ritual and such) and spirituality is the immaterial we think about, dealing with the soul. I grew up in the church and I still go, Sunday School and regular services, and sometimes Bible Study. Most times, I think I have the ritual down. I have experienced feelings like you described, and I felt like a fraud that is going to be punished. Right now, I have that idea kind of worming through my brain.

I agree with Wild Coyote, “Spiritual experiences feel more intense with hypomania/mania. It's possible to have both a spiritual experience and mania.” The hypomania/mania enhances the spiritual experience. When I’m manic and have a spiritual experience, it’s like being pleasantly drunk.

I think that you haven’t stepped under the street light again. I like to think God as a street light or rather one of those large flood lights in a Walmart parking lot. We move but He, She, or It doesn’t. The intensity is always the same, but our proximity changes. You know the light is there, and you are looking for it. You definitely have a soul, but you are having some “technical difficulties” right now. You only need faith the size of a mustard seed to do great things. I feel that things will become better and more clear for you.

Stay well!

Recently I had very heavy duty undeniable spiritual experiences. My husband insists they are part of my illness and will go away once I reach my correct medication level. I know without a doubt I was spoken to and that it was real. Coincidence can only explain so much and this was all too correct. I wish I could explain what I was recently told but I don't think I'm suppose to risk it.....it was incredible and explains so much of my life, experiences and a little of my life's purpose. I wish It would keep talking to me and elaborating as I still have so many questions. I don't think anyone but you can judge if it's real or part of the illness. For me it was real, I don't doubt this and don't believe I ever will. It was beautiful and frightening all wrapped into one. I wish I could tell you all about it but like I said, I think it was a personal message intended just for me to know. (((LadyShadow)))

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by rwwff

I think mania crosses that line when one goes from highly spiritual, to being a spiritual authority that others should listen to, urgently!

So you're saying I should listen to the message then, right?

Originally Posted by Moon Lotus

Hi Lady Shadow,
I understand how you feel. I think religion is the set of beliefs we have set in place to deal with this world (ritual and such) and spirituality is the immaterial we think about, dealing with the soul. I grew up in the church and I still go, Sunday School and regular services, and sometimes Bible Study. Most times, I think I have the ritual down. I have experienced feelings like you described, and I felt like a fraud that is going to be punished. Right now, I have that idea kind of worming through my brain.

I agree with Wild Coyote, “Spiritual experiences feel more intense with hypomania/mania. It's possible to have both a spiritual experience and mania.” The hypomania/mania enhances the spiritual experience. When I’m manic and have a spiritual experience, it’s like being pleasantly drunk.

I think that you haven’t stepped under the street light again. I like to think God as a street light or rather one of those large flood lights in a Walmart parking lot. We move but He, She, or It doesn’t. The intensity is always the same, but our proximity changes. You know the light is there, and you are looking for it. You definitely have a soul, but you are having some “technical difficulties” right now. You only need faith the size of a mustard seed to do great things. I feel that things will become better and more clear for you.

Stay well!

I think your street light analogy was very well said, thank you. I believe you when you said I may have just stepped out of His light for just a short time, but I am on my way to finding my way back. I think a lot has to be said for that. Thank you for your wonderful insight and support.

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Recently I had very heavy duty undeniable spiritual experiences. My husband insists they are part of my illness and will go away once I reach my correct medication level. I know without a doubt I was spoken to and that it was real. Coincidence can only explain so much and this was all too correct. I wish I could explain what I was recently told but I don't think I'm suppose to risk it.....it was incredible and explains so much of my life, experiences and a little of my life's purpose. I wish It would keep talking to me and elaborating as I still have so many questions. I don't think anyone but you can judge if it's real or part of the illness. For me it was real, I don't doubt this and don't believe I ever will. It was beautiful and frightening all wrapped into one. I wish I could tell you all about it but like I said, I think it was a personal message intended just for me to know. (((LadyShadow)))

Elsa dear, I am so glad you had this wonderful experience, if you ever feel like sharing, you are welcome to PM me. I know the experience is only meant for you, but I know I have received the same kind of message only for me too. People may not understand, but these experiences are very REAL to us, and shouldn't be labeled as just "mania" and delusions. Thank you for your wonderful insight.

Hearing all of your stories helps me believe that what I have experienced throughout my life were deep profound messages that I should take with me as lessons from a higher power. I may not be able to FEEL them as much as before, but I carry them in my heart, because it's all I can do.

I feel spiritual experiences are usually inner experiences, so I gave up trying to figure them out or prove them. They're usually beautiful experiences, and that's enough for me. But I can relate to what you're saying. Up till my late 40's I've always been very spiritual, but then completely lost it. Felt dead. It took a few years to start coming back. It's only been a few months now, but it feels sooo good to feel that spiritual connection again.

I hope and pray you get your spiritual connection back, soon! {hugs}

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by unreality

I feel spiritual experiences are usually inner experiences, so I gave up trying to figure them out or prove them. They're usually beautiful experiences, and that's enough for me. But I can relate to what you're saying. Up till my late 40's I've always been very spiritual, but then completely lost it. Felt dead. It took a few years to start coming back. It's only been a few months now, but it feels sooo good to feel that spiritual connection again.

I hope and pray you get your spiritual connection back, soon! {hugs}

Thank you for your prayers, I know it will come back I just have to have faith. I am glad you found you spirituality again, it must be wonderful for you. Hopefully I will get there one day. Hugs!

[rwwff]

Originally Posted by LadyShadow

So you're saying I should listen to the message then, right?

I like to think of it as being present to it for what it is, as it is. I do not need to convince anyone else, nor even share the experience. It is solely mine. It wouldn't help that what I see and feel is not particularly compatible with Western religious thought, so I'd have few sympathetic ears even if I were to try and explain.