[earthrider93]

I start counseling at a place a few blocks away and I talked to the therapist on the phone for 15 minutes a couple days ago. I'm just nervous. I really DO NOT want to talk about some of the trauma I've had. I have never been to a counselor before. I researched some stuff online. I don't know if it will be cbt or dbt or what. I'm also afraid I will miss appointments and won't be able to see her again. I've also heard a lot of counselors are narcissistic. Anyone have any experience with therapy/counseling?

[still_crazy]

hi. there are a lot of terrible people in Mental Health, Inc. I'm not trying to scare you or sound bitter, but...yeah. A lot of mediocre, power hungry, not so great people.

Do you have any real friends? I mean, friends who will have a real conversation about what's really going on in your life? I have --1--. I mean, I have acquaintances and such, but I have exactly --1-- very close, genuine, kind friend. She's considerably older than me. We're both Christian, and I think that helps a lot, too.

My point is...she's helped me more than any "professional" ever has. Ever. And she's a bona fide, genuine, authentic friend, too, which is another blessing.

I dunno. I wish I could tell you its all sunshine and buttercups in the world of Mental Health, Inc., but we both know that isn't true. At all. I've gotten a lot better ("in recovery," to use Mental Health, Inc.-speak...) by focusing on my faith, my family, my life, my health. I'm blessed because I --can-- do those things, but...yeah. The more I get the mental health jargon out of my mind and just....live...the better off I seem to be.

I hope things work out for you.

[Wander]

There are some great therapists out there. You just have to sift through the bad ones, unfortunately. It is really worth the effort. I spent many years with mediocre or just plain negligent therapists before I found my current one who I have been seeing for seven years. He is amazing. Very professional, skilled, caring and intuitive. He knows me well and more than that, cares about me. His knowledge of me and his profession, and concern for me have saved my life many times. I am so thankful I have him.

[wildflowerchild25]

I've been in the system for a long time (15 years) and while I have run across plenty of incompetent therapists, I've never had one that was mean, rude, or condescending. However I may be in the minority. A good therapist will let you take the lead, but also prod you along when necessary. You will not be forced to talk about your trauma, however you will be encouraged to eventually. A good therapist wouldn't expect you to feel comfortable talking about trauma right away.

I wouldn't worry too much about it. If you don't like him/her, you don't have to go back. Give it a fair trial but you don't have to keep going if it's not working out.

[Sunflower123]

I went through many therapists (and none of them were narcissistic) to find one who is a great fit. She is worth her weight in gold. I set the pace and let her know what I need to talk about. She has really helped me with solving problems, with anxiety and depression and in helping me correct cognitive distortions.

Go in with an open mind and give your therapist a chance. If it's not a good fit you can always try somebody else. Good luck and best wishes.

[Nammu]

I'm sorry this forum is so negative on therapists. Most tend to be competent and kind. I would have never gone if I had found this place first but the motor ity are good. I had about 6 Ts over 35 years and I was a real basket case years ago yet everyone of them helped me. I don't recommend that you start off with trauma except in general terms. " I'm here to work on myself and I have traumatic events that I need to deal with when I feel more comfortable with you"

[Victoria'smom]

I've never talked about trauma. I don't need to. I talk about my day to day life and putting that into perspective.

I've talked to some therapists who seem to have NPD. I get a feeling from them that our sessions are more about them proving there expertise in human behavior than really getting to know ME and my issues. This doesn't mean they can't help me but it does provide a barrier to the whole process as their egos get in the way of my treatment plan. I've also met therapists who didn't seem to have NPD, who seemed to really care about me and my progress. I've been told I don't have to talk about trauma until I'm ready and I've taken that to heart. Perhaps you could work on goals until you feel comfortable enough to open up. It takes some time to get comfortable enough with someone to open up. Allow yourself some time....no need to rush right in as that can backfire. Good luck.

[cashart10]

I have seen many therapists and *most* of them have provided a healthy, healing environment. I usually open up pretty quickly as that is my personality but never, until the therapist I started seeing just over a month ago, has any therapist really encouraged me to process my trauma. I have been doing EMDR with her and it has lifted such a weight from my shoulders already. I can see how this can potentially change the way I experience depression in a positive way.

[gina_re]

What makes you seek out counseling in the first place? If you did it yourself because you need help, focus on that and don't focus on what bad could happen. And if you don't feel comfortable, you don't have to go back. Therapy should go at a pace you feel comfortable with. The therapist works for you.

[Unrigged64072835]

Most of my therapists have been good. I wasn't pushed to disclose anything unless I was ready to.

Take some time to build trust and rapport with your therapist. It will make things easier.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I just told my therapist in our first session that I had a lot of abuse history but that I did not want to talk about it. That's all I said but he knew I was serious about it and never brought it up until I did. 11 years later and he has heard minute details that I no longer need to think about because we made it through some really intense, really helpful trauma therapy.

I've had quite a few therapists and nearly all have been kind, caring and had my best interests at heart. A few have been truly incredible, including the current one who I will probably see until he retires.

One thing that helped me was that I knew I was really scared and had a history of running from therapy when I was afraid so I asked a friend to hold me accountable to sticking it out 3 months when I started with this one. It only took a few weeks before I felt good with him but knowing I needed to spend some time with him and give him a chance instead of freaking out that he was perfect immediately was good for me.

I put off seeing someone for decades because of very similar fears. I now wish I'd sought help much earlier. I've had good experiences. (And I'd echo the posts I thanked on this thread. Good advice.) Good luck to you!