[Goals2017]

What is your biggest fear? Can be related to the illness or not? I have a huge fear of failure and rejection. It leaves me paralyzed and stuck sometimes. In terms of my illness I fear I'll make an attempt on my life. My goal is to never make a suicide attempt but I'm sure that's everyone's goal here.

Losing my son and being too sick to be there for people when they need me. I'm so afraid people don't know how much I love them because I'm too physically sick to do the things I want to show them how much they mean to me.

[Goals2017]

Originally Posted by ElsaMars

Losing my son and being too sick to be there for people when they need me. I'm so afraid people don't know how much I love them because I'm too physically sick to do the things I want to show them how much they mean to me.

My mom says I shouldn't have any kids cause of my BP how has having kids been a challenge for you? And you said physically sick is it the BP or is it some other type of sickness? But I hope they realize you love them a lot and it's just the illness.

[wildflowerchild25]

My biggest fear overall is losing my son. I'm pretty sure he's going to die in his early 20s (he's six now). I'm not sure why. I guess it's the trauma of losing my husband so suddenly. But any time he's sick with a routine virus or something I get terrified and have him sleep in my bed so I can be near him if something happens.

In terms of my illness I'm afraid I will impulsively kill myself. That will probably never happen as I've learned to get help before it gets that far but I'm still afraid one day I'll be so sick I won't ask for help. I can't leave my son an orphan.

[Woolly Bugger]

Well, I have a lot of muscle and joint pain in my back and neck. It is tolerable now, but I'm afraid it will never get better and that I will live the rest of my life in pain. I am only 59, so I could easily live in pain for the next 30 years. I also am afraid that my life is generally going to go downhill from here and that it will never be as good as it is now. You could say that I haven't made my peace with aging, and I am afraid of what growing old will bring. Oh, and I should add that I am constantly afraid that something bad will happen to my grandchildren. I feel more responsible for having them here on this earth than I do my own children, and it is always on my mind.

[Unrigged64072835]

I'm afraid of losing my husband and/or daughter. It's kept me up at night a few times. I'm also afraid of losing what little good health I have left.

[Sunflower123]

I'm afraid of losing my daughter and that one day my illness will kill me or progressively get worse. Best wishes.

[BipolaRNurse]

One year ago today I lost my husband to pancreatic cancer. At the time that was my worst fear. Now I worry about losing my kids and grandkids...I just don't think I could handle it. Of course, I said the same thing about my hubby---even told my kids half-jokingly that they would have to drop me off at the psych hospital on the way home from the funeral. That didn't happen, so I must be stronger than I gave myself credit for.

[HALLIEBETH87]

Not keeping my stability, eventual suicide, failure and always struggling.

[Incubus]

Having a relapse or evil thoughts. I fight every day.

[Faltering]

Losing my career and relationships due to instability and eventual suicide.

[UpDownAround]

I have taken one of my kids to the ER after taking a bunch of OTC meds; enough to have do serious liver damage possibly leading to death if he hadn't come to his senses and woke me up. Another time I was waken my the police pounding on my door; he had been in a chat and expressed some suicidal thoughts and then gone silent. I have never been so scared in my life as I was running up the stairs to his room. He had fallen asleep.

My biggest fear is losing a child to a MH problem that is quite likely genetic and from my side of the family.

My biggest fear for me personally is accidental overdose.

[xRavenx]

I fear losing the people closest to me in one way or another. That is my biggest fear.

[scatterbrained04]

Losing my son. But I'm also worried I'll get worse and not be able to work anymore. Or even that I might kill myself and leave my son without a parent. That last one I worry about when I'm well because I don't think that way in the midst of severe depression.

[Teddy Bear]

That my son dies before me.

[Wild Coyote]

I fear physical pain will get worse again.
I fear mental anguish will worsen along with it and I will go over the edge for good.

I am very isolated with pain -- both physical and mental.
My husband is my "rock" and I don't know what I'd do without him.


WC

[pirilin]

Losing my wife. And my mind. For whatever is left.

[Guiness187055]

Losing my child

[Nammu]

The government shutting down SSDI and Medicare....id not have anyway to healthcare and die slowly and homeless. A real possibility with this administration.

[NoIdeaWhatToDo]

One of my biggest fears is that I will stay paralyzed by not knowing what I want or how to figure that out, and that I will continue to live in a way that's unfulfilling so that I either resent my husband once our children are grown, or that I'll give into it and disappear altogether as an individual.

I also fear losing my children and/or my husband, but I lost my father unexpectedly when I was young and I think that rewired my brain in a weird way around grief. I expect to lose my husband young (there's nothing that would make this logical). My kids, I just don't think I can allow my mind to really think through what that would feel like, so somehow that helps me avoid the fear - does that make sense? On the occasions where they've been away from me and for whatever reason that fear/anxiety does get triggered, it's all-consuming. Somewhere in my past, I think my brain figured out a way to barricade my conscious mind from those feelings, either by constantly preparing for/expecting tragedy (like in the case of my husband) or insulating itself against thoughts of it (like my kids).

It's been awhile now, but when I'm in the depths of my depression, my biggest fear has been how suicide would affect my family. Not fearing the dying so much, but how to do it without bringing them pain or struggle. Honestly, that fear has kept me around on more than one occasion.

[liveforsummer]

Originally Posted by Guiness187055

Losing my child

I have a bunch but I ageee that tops my list too.

[lilypup]

Losing kids or husband.

I seriously don't know how I'd make it without my husband. I'd be okay financially (thank god) but can't really take care of myself. I think I might have to go into assisted living or something. My kids would help some but I wouldn't want to burden them.

[Victoria'smom]

That I'll unintentionally commit suicide.

[bioChE]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

That I'll unintentionally commit suicide.

How do you unintentionally commit suicide? Isn't that intentional by definition? I mean, it's not like you can accidentally commit suicide.

[Victoria'smom]

How do you unintentionally commit suicide?

Doing things that can be fatal but I don't realize that. Ie. Cutting my throat would look pretty, If I start a tummy tuck the ER will have to finish it, and dissecting ones self is a good idea. None of these things I realize will cause my death. Each of these things I've been moments away from doing or in the middle of doing before coming to my senses enough to not want to explain my reasoning to the ER.