[bizi]

wild Coyote, this has to stop!
It is madness and unreasonable for you to be expected to do this.
They should be bringing you food!
grr!
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

wild Coyote, this has to stop!
It is madness and unreasonable for you to be expected to do this.
They should be bringing you food!
grr!
bizi

I had another long talk with my mother and told her while it is nice people want to visit, in most cases, this was giving me more people to care for. I told her I would help her and would get meals for her, but could not serve all of her friends everyday. I took the afternoon off.

It seems the custom of bringing food has fallen by the wayside.

These are all good people, they just are not thinking.

My niece brought lunch. She's a very thoughtful, caring young lady. I adore her.


WC

I am still feeling good.

thought about cutting myself thiss morning, but I didn't go ahead with it.. I don't want to go back to hospital so soon, and spoil it

i'm doing okay, I don't want that to be ruined

Woke up at 3 am. (4 am's nearly par for the course lately). Still UP, doing (sometimes somewhat questionable) projects etc. Continuing to hold on to the edge, economic and otherwise.

(Seriously, WC, they should be bringing food or at least not EXPECTING any(!!) Yikes. Glad you spoke up for proper boundaries. Good for you! )

Bored, frustrated, upset.

I'm losing the hobbies I once had due to my inability to focus/concentrate. Reading? Nope. TV? Nope. Movies? Nope.

The tradeoff between stability and focus/concentration is terrible. I'm finally on a cocktail that works, but it's killing me inside.

On the upside, I signed up for Audible.com and got a free audiobook with my trial. I'm going to try listening to it while I read my book to see if that helps me regain the ability to read.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Bored, frustrated, upset.

I'm losing the hobbies I once had due to my inability to focus/concentrate. Reading? Nope. TV? Nope. Movies? Nope.

The tradeoff between stability and focus/concentration is terrible. I'm finally on a cocktail that works, but it's killing me inside.

On the upside, I signed up for Audible.com and got a free audiobook with my trial. I'm going to try listening to it while I read my book to see if that helps me regain the ability to read.

I’m sorry to hear that blue. I hear you on that - having lost my interest in reading and I used to read 3-4 books a week. It’s distressing. I hope Audible works for you.

[scatterbrained04]

I've been feeling a lot better the last couple days. Still spinning my wheels about a couple of personal decisions.

Yesterday I went to a birthday party then to dinner with my parents.

Today I have chores and grocery shopping on the agenda. Here it is almost noon, and I haven't done a darn thing. Going to have gather some motivation soon before I stress myself out.

[hopeless2015]

It's been a good weekend. We did grocery shopping and stayed home for the evening...no drinking. This is a big deal. We have spent Fri and Sat night drinking for years!! I feel good today..no hangover and I've got quite a bit accomplished today and it's not even noon. Sending hugs to all

[Wild Coyote]

A much better day today. The weather was challenging enough that people stayed close to home; this kept the visitor count here low today.

Played cribbage for 3 hours this afternoon. I had not played in over 20 years. It took some time to recall the strategy/rules. I'd enjoyed playing. I want to brush up and possibly play cribbage with a partner this winter. I used to play in annual championships.

I hope everyone is having a good Sunday!

Love to All!

WC

[Moreta]

I asked my husband to cook at 5, well 5:30 comes around and he's still not cooking, so I got mad and cooked. I told him there was chicken in the fridge, I guess he was waiting further instruction. It's not that hard to cook chicken breast strips. Throw some spices on them and throw them in a pan with some oil. I made mashed potatoes and spinach too.

Today was busy. Went to church cause I had to usher and count the offering. After church I went to the nutrition club a socialized for an hour while I got a protein shake. Today was ok except my stomach didn't want to cooperate. Been watching the last NASCAR race of the season this afternoon, but now the warriors game is about to start, so have the warriors game on the TV and the NASCAR race going on my phone. lol. Hopefully tonight will be an early night. I'm tired.

[bizi]

I am not good...
too much of everything...my bipolar is out of whack
bizi

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

Bored, frustrated, upset.

I'm losing the hobbies I once had due to my inability to focus/concentrate. Reading? Nope. TV? Nope. Movies? Nope.

The tradeoff between stability and focus/concentration is terrible. I'm finally on a cocktail that works, but it's killing me inside.

On the upside, I signed up for Audible.com and got a free audiobook with my trial. I'm going to try listening to it while I read my book to see if that helps me regain the ability to read.

That’s a great idea-glad you did that

Originally Posted by bizi

I am not good...
too much of everything...my bipolar is out of whack
bizi

Bizi, I’m so sorry. I hope you are feeling better soon

I’m working on getting things cleaned up around the house. The place really got out of hand between me filling the house with stuff we don’t need, then me crashing down into a depression and massive anxiety.

I’m doing better now, but I’m just not energetic. I’m trying. I think my meds are making me dull, and I gained weight trying to eat my way out of the depression/anxiety, plus the meds are making me gain weight.

OK, I’m going to get some more things done tonight. All I can do is chip away at it.

[Sanctum]

I had a migraine today and felt too sick to go to church. No hallucinations though, not even any paranoia. And still not depressed... I think this is the longest "level" episode I've had since getting sick.

[bpforever1]

I am doing well. I cleaned my apartment and did my laundry. My father is coming this week. I am excited. I danced for awhile last night and was really tired. Then, I ate a chicken burger with onion rings. So, I exercise to prevent myself from gaining weight from my bad diet. I eat mainly once a day though. So, I am not eating that much.

The man online and I are still communicating. He is coming to see me during Christmas week. I like him so far. I felt really touched that he is coming to Japan to see me. I saw him on videocam and he is like a teddy bear. I like the way he looks. I am a little nervous he is coming all the way to see me though. He wanted to come and told me. I feel in a way obligated to keep communication with him. One never knows what will happen though. We are planning to go to the tourist spots in the city. I am hoping we get along in person though. So, meeting him will be a decisive factor.

I teach tonight. My work has dwindled but am going to look for work again in January. I like working so will look for another part-time job. I think work keeps me out of trouble.

So, overall, I am doing well.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am not good...
too much of everything...my bipolar is out of whack
bizi

I hope things get better soon.
Much love to you!


WC

[WildcatVet]

Feeling hopeful and looking forward to getting out of the house and doing some fun stuff this Wednesday. IF....I don't freak out in a crowd of people....okay, I'm a little anxious too!

[Daonnachd]

My mind is garbled. I don't know what's going on, but I simply want to isolate myself. I even cancelled my next appointment with my T. I feel like stopping with her altogether. At this point I have nothing else set up.

[wildflowerchild25]

I feel on the edge of hypomania but like the meds are tamping it down. They better well be, I’m on depakote AND zyprexa, that **** shouldn’t let any mania come through. But I feel good, almost euphoric but not exactly. But like I can get **** done.

I saw a really nice comforter set in the store for cheap, I’m hoping it will still be there today when I go back to get it. I shouldn’t be spending money since I’m not making any right now but it’s not that much.

I finally booked my son’s birthday party. I wanted to can it bc of the depression but that wouldn’t have been fair to him. It’s at an indoor bouncy house place so I shouldn’t have to do too much just in case depression comes back.

[bizi]

I met with my tdoc(therapist) this morning and cried a lot. then cried as I was leaving at the check out window then cried in the car talking with a girl friend whom I had to cancel dinner plans with she and her husband because I am a mess. She is a trained msw/ therapist. She said she would walk with me this evening when I am done with work. at 5....
I am increasing my tdoc appointments to once a week for now.
I woke up with pain in my right hip.
limping, wondering how I am going to be able to do my job this afternoon.
sigh
bizi
who is depressed today....
__________________

[251turnaround]

Feeling better than I was yesterday. Still feel useless, though.

[Sunflower123]

My surgery has been rescheduled for next Monday. Ok - Yay!!!! I’m happier then I thought I would be.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by vertigo

My mind is garbled. I don't know what's going on, but I simply want to isolate myself. I even cancelled my next appointment with my T. I feel like stopping with her altogether. At this point I have nothing else set up.

I hope you feel better soon.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by bizi

I met with my tdoc(therapist) this morning and cried a lot. then cried as I was leaving at the check out window then cried in the car talking with a girl friend whom I had to cancel dinner plans with she and her husband because I am a mess. She is a trained msw/ therapist. She said she would walk with me this evening when I am done with work. at 5....
I am increasing my tdoc appointments to once a week for now.
I woke up with pain in my right hip.
limping, wondering how I am going to be able to do my job this afternoon.
sigh
bizi
who is depressed today....
__________________

I’m sorry bizi. I hope you feel better soon.