[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by emgreen

I was up at 2:30, but went to bed at midnight. I’ve been having a rough time sleeping, too.

I hope you can get some good sleep.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Yay time change. Up at 2:45am instead of 3:45am. On a Sunday. This is going to be a loooong day. In all fairness though, I fell asleep about 8:30pm last night. Had a very rough day yesterday.

I’m sorry you had a rough day. Hoping today is better for you.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

Sometimes I wish that life was a big etch-a-sketch (anyone remember those?) . I just give it a good shake when I want it to change, and life hands me a clean board to start from.

...if wishes were horses...

I like that Rose. I could use one of those.

[emgreen]

You're up early, too, Jennifer. I hope you've been feeling a bit better than you were the other night.

[bpforever1]

I'm doing fine. I went shopping at the big supermarket . Then, I studied. The man who I was seeing and who has Asperger's wrote me. I was surprised. I wished him a Happy Birthday and he said thank you. I think he wants to see me again. I like him but we are like an odd couple. He is unemotional and I'm emotional. We are lovers. I tried to reach out to the other man who has bipolar but he was in a bad mood from a bad back. I felt really sad for him. I don't think he likes me anymore. He has a bad back and has erectile dysfunction. I don't know but I just wanted him to be a friend but he likes sex too even though he can't do it. I am speechless about him. I just don't know what to tell him anymore. The man with Asperger's is in great shape. He is younger and is doing well. I wanted him to be my friend too but he is busy with work. He writes every so often when he wants to be with me. He likes sex too. And, he is good at it. So--- I think I will choose him for now. I like sex too but don't like to go through many partners. I've been here since March and have had only three lovers. Two of them are the man with bipolar and the man with Asperger's. I sometimes wonder why I attract men with disorders. But, this is my reality. I have a disorder myself but don't disclose it. Well, overall, I am doing ok. I thought it was over with the man with Asperger's. He comes back when I least expect him. I'm crazy about him but he is so unemotional that at times it is like being with a robot. He writes me one word or two and I become excited. I must be a real dummy for him. When we are together, he acts like himself and talks about politics, languages, esoteric subjects, etc. I don't know what he has that makes me so excited about him. I am a real dummy. And, he is a genius.

[hopeless2015]

We don't have washer/dryer at our new apartment so um at the laundry mat. I had too much to drink last n8ght and gambled, it was not good and this is a terrible time financially for me to have done this!! I'll have to live with my m7stake though. I'm not going to go down though. In the past when I've done this I went down a hole for days. Hugs to all!!

[scatterbrained04]

Feeling pretty "off" today but better than yesterday. Yesterday was hospital worthy bad. I was mixed , impulsive, and suicidal with a plan and means.

I really wish I had the money to see my pdoc. I don't know what to do. And I'm facing having to move my appointment that is in December to January or my son might not get a Christmas. I won't let that happen.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by emgreen

You're up early, too, Jennifer. I hope you've been feeling a bit better than you were the other night.

I am thank you and thank you for your kind words.

[Nammu]

Watching V......everyday political crap brings us closer to such a reality. I'm too much of a coward to live in such times. Scares me silly.

[Guiness187055]

Good day woke up to my wife's alarm going nuts. I decided to drive uber for a few hours this morning. went to the grocery store and made chili. Time to chill and watch football. Oh yeah I showered this morning.

[Wild Coyote]

Just a quick check-in. This will be a very busy week. My mother will be having her hip replacement surgery toward the end of the week. She was called in two months early, as there was a cancellation. Have lots to attend to with her prior to the procedure (pre-op tasks and more).

I will probably check in now and then.

Love to All!

WC

[ck3416849]

I awoke this morning like every morning. Wanting Daniel and meditating. I haven't had sex in ten years. (seven year Virginia) I want Daniel so bad he is the only one I want to be with. I'm not even in love with him. I just want him down my pants once in a while.

[ck3416849]

I went to the hospital for pneumonia and 500blood sugar. My Dr. Took me off all my psych meds. All but 2mg heldol. I am bipolar and they are treating me with some schizo meds. I am on 100mg. Shot of heldol now highs and lows and haven't been hospitalized in 2 years. I am bipolar schizo effective because of hearing voices. I Am also on buspar for anxiety 5mg. 3x a day. And cogenton 3x my mom is highly upset.
There's more, the heldol deconate, is an illgel drug which is the shot and I almost lost my liver the enzymes where so high. My psych office tried calling me to remind me of the appointment for the injection. My mom is forcing me to go she's not my guardian. Should I go she won't even hear me out on the side effects. She my petitioner should I go?

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Just a quick check-in. This will be a very busy week. My mother will be having her hip replacement surgery toward the end of the week. She was called in two months early, as there was a cancellation. Have lots to attend to with her prior to the procedure (pre-op tasks and more).

I will probably check in now and then.

Love to All!

WC

I hope all goes well with the pre op, surgery and recuperation.

[ck3416849]

I don't have highs and lows.

Riding a bit on the UP side. BF surmised as much when I was giving myself geography/geopolitical quizzes this morning in bed instead of relaxing, lol. (I didn't mention where I followed that with coordinating cookbooks to borrow from the library. Mind you, I really don't cook anymore(!), so books on unfamiliar cuisines is especially silly. And possibly telling... )

So now, here I am at the laundromat. Normally I read the forums, but haven't been able to concentrate for diddly. Yeah, concentration's really bad. It *is* keeping me from thinking about the *********** that is my life, though, so there's that...

Mid-back's been spasming (likely from coughing in kicking out this cold). In good news, the cold's on the way out. (And nope, no cold meds were taken, so no hypo culprit there. It's probably adding the Abilify back into regular rotation. Not going to complain though.)

This weekend went well other than what I hope will be almost the last of the Geodon withdrawal. Geodon has been the roughest medication I've had to get off in all my 12 years on bipolar medication, despite a year long slow weaning off. I had been on 160 mg for 8 years. I'm sure it would not have been so hard if I had been on it for a much shorter time.

[-Astral-]

feel low ...

[99fairies]

I'm still feeling pretty low. I tried to call in my side effect med and they said it's too early to fill it. I'll admit, I did take more than what was prescribed because the pain got so bad. But now I'm kicking my *** wishing I hadn't done that. Now I'm just screwed.

[ck3416849]

Originally Posted by ck3416849

I went to the hospital for pneumonia and 500blood sugar. My Dr. Took me off all my psych meds. All but 2mg heldol. I am bipolar and they are treating me with some schizo meds. I am on 100mg. Shot of heldol now highs and lows and haven't been hospitalized in 2 years. I am bipolar schizo effective because of hearing voices. I Am also on buspar for anxiety 5mg. 3x a day. And cogenton 3x my mom is highly upset.
There's more, the heldol deconate, is an illgel drug which is the shot and I almost lost my liver the enzymes where so high. My psych office tried calling me to remind me of the appointment for the injection. My mom is forcing me to go she's not my guardian. Should I go she won't even hear me out on the side effects. She my petitioner should I go?

I meant to say I don't have any highs and lows.

[Faltering]

I'm feeling angry and impatient lately. I'm initiating arguments because of my mood and I feel horrible about it. I see my pdoc tomorrow. It'll be the first follow up since my hospitalization.

[ck3416849]

Originally Posted by Faltering

I'm feeling angry and impatient lately. I'm initiating arguments because of my mood and I feel horrible about it. I see my pdoc tomorrow. It'll be the first follow up since my hospitalization.

Sorry to hear that. The last time i was hospitalized and went to see my psychologist she tryed to force the a. C. T. Program on me people that come to your house and watch you and stalk you. Not that they already didnt do that. And if i would have tried to walk out they would have petitioned me. I had to beg.

[hopeless2015]

Called off work. I have so much to do still with unpacking and organizing. I just need an extra day off right now. I've done really good about not missing so much work but right now I just need this time. I'm not going to feel bad about it

Trying to prolong my hypomania which has faded out by drinking a tea that claims to give you energy and improve your mood. Also took 100mg instead of 150mg of clozaril last night. If I could stay hypomanic long enough to apply to a job, go to an interview, and do well in training that'd be great. I feel like the only time I'm able to do that is when hypomanic. Usually by then I'm either manic and lose the job because of inability to keep my mouth shut and thinking I'm going to go cross country and own all the six flags or I'm depressed and just don't show up. **** this illness.

[Daonnachd]

I don't work most Mondays, so I'm home cleaning out the fridge and the nuker, doing laundry, and seeing my T. At least that's the plan. I'd like to go back to sleep until I leave for the T.

How do I convince myself that anybody cares?