[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

I hope you have better days ahead.
There is always hope to fall back on.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Thanks, Bizi!
Thank goodness for hope.
At some point, though, it may be helpful for me to accept a "new" baseline and stop feeling guilty. Instead of "letting things go," and feeling worse about that, maybe I would benefit from proactively seeking help with tasks? My "cleaning lady" has turned into a very trustworthy, understanding friend. She wants more work, maybe we can budget in some additional work for her.

A part of the "problem" is: as soon as I gain some energy, there's an overwhelming amount of work to be done. I can only do it "a day at a time."
I've been in a very deep depression for a year, so there is lots to catch up on!

I appreciate your loving-kindness!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Trudging through. No breakdown allowed.
('cause it's all on me... trying to not become homeless for starters) FML.

You have had a lot on your plate!

(((((( Innerzone ))))))

Thinking of you.

WC

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am struggling with this, too. Even with starting to have depression lift, I still honestly feel overwhelmed and "blah." I keep thinking things will be better "soon," like "tomorrow." So very many "tomorrows" have passed by.

It seems my new baseline, at it's best, is "blah."

I am self-coaching re: continuing to isolate. I feel so inadequate due to illnesses. I guess I feel some shame for not being a more productive person, esp since I used to be very, very productive... so very many moons ago.

Thinking of you.

WC

This is it exactly. Maybe I need to take a page from your book and be more accepting of what is instead of what I think it should be. I’m pushing myself to get all these things done that I neglected over the period of my deep depression and I’m just not that person anymore.

Thank you for helping me feel not so alone.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

This is it exactly. Maybe I need to take a page from your book and be more accepting of what is instead of what I think it should be. I’m pushing myself to get all these things done that I neglected over the period of my deep depression and I’m just not that person anymore.

Thank you for helping me feel not so alone.

I am not that person anymore, either. I keep talking about this in therapy and need to accept it, at least to some degree. Easier said than done!

People around me have different expectations. I'll need to "educate" them. Yet, I'll have to accept things before I can honestly, and convincingly, advocate for myself in this regard.


WC

[Faltering]

I still feel like I'm going to explode inside. My mom and bf told me I look spacey and lethargic. I feel dead inside despite being so restless. Thoughts of SH and intrusive thoughts. I think I need help but I don't see my pdoc until the 6th.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Faltering

I still feel like I'm going to explode inside. My mom and bf told me I look spacey and lethargic. I feel dead inside despite being so restless. Thoughts of SH and intrusive thoughts. I think I need help but I don't see my pdoc until the 6th.

Any chance you can contact your pdoc sooner?

I am glad to hear you have people around you.

Please stay safe.

WC

[Faltering]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Any chance you can contact your pdoc sooner?

I'm afraid and not sure what to say.

[liveforsummer]

Been reading through the days check in and sending lots of hugs to those struggling. There are just so many facets to this illness and it takes a toll in so many different ways of ones life.

Despite my day starting angry and irritable I am grateful for the past 6 hours I have felt positive, energetic and have accomplished more in that time than likely the last couple months (or longer). Whether it’s a little bit of hypomania right now I don’t care. I’m exhausted from being so productive and hope I have a better sleep tonight....positive thoughts!

Hugs

[Victoria'smom]

I've been taking zyprexa 15 mg because I ran out of 10's. All I'm doing is sleeping and eating. I'm so frustrated. I do "better" on the 15's but I can't get much done.Tomorrow I get my 10's back. I guess it was just a nice break from my head and all my thoughts. I wish there was a better solution.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Faltering

I'm afraid and not sure what to say.

Read your original post to him/her.

Your pdoc should be an advocate for you, totally "on your side."
I think you can trust your pdoc to listen and to help?


WC

[xRavenx]

Feeling discouraged about things. In my every day life, my feelings don't seem to really matter to anyone.

[Lifeischallenging]

Sorry for not posting in so long. I think its been almost a week since my last post. Still have those feelings of not replying. I'm a little annoyed because my brother in law's own kid is causing trouble and I'm getting pissed off because of it. I keep telling my mom that me and her do not have to deal with it, but she just keeps coming back at me and says "What can we do!" I honestly feel obligated to tell her we should move.

I need to post this because it was sooo funny.

it was on a quiz I watched.

it was the chase, and they were doing the cash builder part
the question was asked so... what is the name of simbba's father?

lady goes.. is it daddy?

how, do, some of these people get on quizzes!

me, and the audience burst out laughing

yesterday I ended another friendship.

I sort of didn't mean too, I wanted to tell him something but was too anxious too so it came out all wrong and now he hates me.

so, okay.. it didn't really come out at all. we ended up about arguing about something else entirely, shared some bitter words with each other- and that's that.

I feel really guilty about it, but.. well, some of these things you jave to do for the best, right?

i'm starving.

yesterday's dinner didn't fill me up in the slightest- and I am running out of food here (is it almost wednesday?)

my family emailed me this morning with more harsh words, which sort of ruined my day (I'm planning to post in the childhood emotional neglect section about it)

it is still raining from storm brian. their's still a little left

never got round to ordering the headphones either. maybe do that today?

[scatterbrained04]

Trying to quit smoking. I think it's going to be hard on me. Little bit concerned that my urges to utilize other unhealthy coping skills might go up. Could use some encouragement over the next week.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

Trying to quit smoking. I think it's going to be hard on me. Little bit concerned that my urges to utilize other unhealthy coping skills might go up. Could use some encouragement over the next week.

You got it. Former smoker here who quit 19 years ago before becoming with child. You can do this. I’m rooting for you! One day (and sometimes one minute) at a time.

I'm not sure if the depression is getting better or if it's a "just for today" type thing, but I'm actually feeling okay today. Not great, and very tired and unmotivated, but I'm not as bad as I have been. I hope this keeps up

[-Astral-]

Well am not depressed at all livid but not depressed
wounder how long ill remain this way is anyone's guess

**** it

[99fairies]

I need to get off the invega. I can't eat or sleep and I'm starting to throw up from the pain.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by 99fairies

I need to get off the invega. I can't eat or sleep and I'm starting to throw up from the pain.

Bless your heart. That just doesn’t seem worth it unless it’s supposed to lessen over time. What does your pdoc say about this? Is there anything else you can try? I’m sorry you’re having such a tough time.

[99fairies]

Jennifer... I just called my pharmacist and explained how bad it was. He said that it's very serious and that he will be calling my pdoc right away.

[Faltering]

I called my pdoc and have an emergency appointment at 5 pm tonight.

[LadyShadow]

Really up and down with it. The Seroquel has been kicking my butt. I mean it does its job of stabilizing me a bit, but what's up with that overtiredness in the morning?

I am so groggy I go back to bed at least three times before I can get out.

Just one of those days I guess.

[wildflowerchild25]

I am hiiigh and it WAS good but now I’m stressing over this project. I have to make a PowerPoint lesson and I’m not good enough at math to make a whole lesson out of it. Not on PowerPoint. I wonder if I can adapt one of the lessons from the text.

My mind is racing but I’m trying to keep it on track with music. I HAVE to get this **** done by midnight.

By the way, how tf am I supposed to merge PowerPoint and word? I have the pp presentation to submit but also a reflection and evaluation that has to be done in word. I can only submit one file. Wtf???? Why do they make this so difficult?

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m straight making **** up and hoping it makes some semblance of sense. I did figure out I can add multiple files so that’s good. I could have been doing that the whole damn time.