[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

Hugs to you dear lady.
You are also loved here, and we accept you for who you are.
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Wow, thanks!

Hugs backatcha!

WC

[incogneo]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Sounds very unsettling, to say the least.

Feel free to start a thread where more will notice your current challenges and will likely offer lots of support.

Are you safe?


WC

I will start a thread. Yes, for the moment I am "safe".

[Unhinged88]

I joined this site for when I need support because I don't have any otherwise. No doctor. No therapist. No family. (Reasons why are complicated) and I'm grateful that I have been doing ok lately, so it's a good daily check in I suppose. Just the usual don't want to go to work. But I've picked up more hours to keep myself busy, which might be why I'm ok...not focusing on everything else.

Last night, I was full-on panicking. I took two 1mg Klonopins before going to bed.

I kept thinking about death -- like what happens after you die. Also not knowing when you will die. And what is the purpose of life? etc etc. I'm not religious, but what if there is a heaven and we all are happily ever after? Or what if we just decay and turn to ashes and that's it. And at 26 years old, I've already wasted at least 1/3 of my life doing nothing.

All sorts of things like that. It freaked me out. I was triggered by the fact my maternal grandma is going to die soon of something incurable. Well, it is curable, but no doctor wants to operate. So maybe we might as well say it's not curable.

[BPQuestions]

Im doing ok. Stressed about life but hey Ive decided to kick life in its *****. Im not going to take things lying down any longer or let people take advantage of me. I do have fears of having new episodes and not seeing them coming because Im so new to my diagnosis and medication and so recently off an episode. Ive never really checked on my moods I just let them run rampant. So thats all new to me. Overall though life is good and Im going to move forward with that mindset.

So I am coming into some money in the next several weeks. Money and I do not do well together. When manic I let it fall between my fingers at an alarming rate. I am trying to keep a head on my shoulders this time around - but I am scared the old me will surface and ruin it all.

[Tucson]

Lately I have been waking up very depressed. I do not know what to do. I have no car and no money to do anything. My car insurance probably will drop me. Oh well. What did the funeral director say? If you get up in the morning, you are ahead of the game.

[bizi]

Blue sometimes when we stabilize we wake up and look at where we are and where we are going. This can cause great alarm. You are not alone in this...I am doing the same thing.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Unhinged88]

Originally Posted by justafriend306

So I am coming into some money in the next several weeks. Money and I do not do well together. When manic I let it fall between my fingers at an alarming rate. I am trying to keep a head on my shoulders this time around - but I am scared the old me will surface and ruin it all.

Give it to someone you trust to hold on to! I don't do well with money either.

[hopeless2015]

Sending hugs to everyone!!

I'm doing ok. Struggling with getting up to go to work again but pushing myself. I don't want to go back to being so far behind at work that I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't want to disappoint my husband who has stood by me through all my struggles.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by BPQuestions

Im doing ok. Stressed about life but hey Ive decided to kick life in its *****. Im not going to take things lying down any longer or let people take advantage of me. I do have fears of having new episodes and not seeing them coming because Im so new to my diagnosis and medication and so recently off an episode. Ive never really checked on my moods I just let them run rampant. So thats all new to me. Overall though life is good and Im going to move forward with that mindset.

Have you thought of using a mood chart? That way you can track your moods. If you have a smartphone there's something to work on it. Or tablet, computer, etc.

[Unrigged64072835]

Been an emotional rollercoaster day. Sad, angry, excited--up and down. Husband is still sick, but trying to relieve symptoms at the moment. Daughter is buried in homework but also decided to start therapy and meds on her own. She will run out of health insurance soon but we can't do anything until next month. Her boyfriend is still grieving about his lizard but I think I gave him some hope about owning another one once they move out. He went to work today.

I'm calm right now. I have homework and a test starting tomorrow, but that's tomorrow and it can wait until then. I'm just chilling out with the cat until dinner.

[GoldenSnitch]

Still mixed. Seeing t tomorrow. I’m exhausted from all of the meds I’ve taken but mood still isn’t stable. Trying to decide what I should do about work tomorrow seeing as my boss was a ****** about it today

[Tucson]

I am being really bummed out about the probability of not being able to drive for a while. Perhaps a couple years. This means all my time will be spent at home. Oh what is wrong with me for getting into all of these car accidents? This has been a very bad time for me, one bad thing after another. I am still alive and kicking. Also I finally have a family of sorts to help me. So all is not bad. I need to pull out of this tailspin into depression.

[bizi]

The sun was out and melted a lot of the ice. Some roads are still icy so I had to be careful driving especially on side streets and under trees and over bridges. It is 27 right now and is Supposed to go down to 19 tonight then start to warm up during the day.
This is the south!
We are not used to these hard freezes!
So far no one has had frozen pipes in my family up north.
bizi

[Pookyl]

I’ve stopped obsessing about the suicidal death of The Cranberries lead singer.
It’s taken a day of PRN’s but I’m back on an even-ish keel.
It’s almost midday and my daughter is coming over for lunch. She’s asked if she can bring her boyfriend. So I guess I’ll be paying for lunch for 3. Lol.

[Nammu]

Up north we put insulation on the pipes and houses. Something I thought the south should do to keep the cold inside when using the AC. I was shocked when I lived in Texas at the lack of insulation. Every hard freeze was the instructions to keep the water running and open the doors under the cupboards. Running water can add up, of course that's better than having the pipes freeze.

[VerMOZZica]

I suppose I`m feeling a bit better than yesterday when I wanted to stay in bed all day. Today I managed to clean my turtles tank and clean the the bathroom. Then I took a shower and got dressed. Them my Mom took me to pick up my meds and stop by the post office. After lunch I cleaned the kitchen then folded and put my laundry away. So today was better for me.At least I got a few things done.

[sonjaward809]

Slept most of the day away .. felt super tired no matter how hard I tried to stay awake. I feel like a wind-up toy now though, so I think I slept too much. I'm probably going to have a very hard time sleeping tonight :/

[xRavenx]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I am feeling pretty "non-functional" again. It would hurt me to have someone else point that out to me right now, even though I know it's true.

My self-esteem also suffers in this way. I was brought up under a lot of criticism.

Somehow, my husband accepts me and my "stuff." Thankfully.

Hugs to you, xRavenx!


WC

Thank you. I'm sorry that you struggle with these feelings too. I suppose all we can do is our best each day. We're only human.
Hugs.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bizi

Blue sometimes when we stabilize we wake up and look at where we are and where we are going. This can cause great alarm. You are not alone in this...I am doing the same thing.
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Very insightful!
I suspect we all go through this at one time or another.
Thanks for sharing this insight!


WC

[bpforever1]

I am doing ok. I am taking my medication daily. I have been either working or sleeping this past week. I was depressed about my job options. But, I feel ok about it now. I am going to enjoy my time and look for some more jobs. I want a full-time job but it is not everything. I have to think about my sanity and well-being as a priority. I am glad I have the option to turn down some jobs. I will be ok.

[incogneo]

Holy crap I have a job interview again this morning @ 11:00 AM.

!!!!

[99fairies]

I'm feeling really good today. Sanity is back and I'm so thankful for that. I hate being crazy!

[Moreta]

I feel decent. I think the steroids are out of my system. Don't feel full of rage anymore. Got the results of my blood work from the hospital back. Liver functions are almost normal again. I guess eating healthy helps. We're snowed in. The dogs love the snow though. All blossom wants to do is be out in the snow and eat it.