I thought i felt better

I wasn t as scared earlier but I am now. The demons are still here in me and I feel like I need to cut to make them bleed away.

I realize how crazy that sounds but it feels right. I haven't self harmed in almost a year so I'm telling myself no but I feel like I need to cut to make t go away and feel better. I keep telling myself no it nots real and don't do it but my mind fights back with its real and you need to.

I see my psyd Tuesday and this has been happening for almost a week
and I'm just so scared. People keep asking if I need ip and I really can't go. I just started a new job I love and don't wanna lose! I can't let them
Know im struggling. I just have to
Fight the demons inside.

I'm so scared still

I’m sorry you are struggling so and that you’re scared. A week is a long time to fight. Please be assured that your initial reaction is correct. Self harm is not the answer. Can you make it to Tuesday? Could you contact your pdoc tonight or tomorrow? Is there somebody on call?

They have on call doctors but their advice is alway to go IP

I called pdoc last week and he upped my haldol. I see my psychologist again on Tuesday. Can't contact him

Well that’s not helpful of them is it? How long has it been since you’ve upped the Haldol if you don’t mind me asking? Has there been enough time for it to kick in?

Ummmthis week
Is super blurry but I think they upped it on Tuesday. So it's been three days

So maybe it might take a few more days? I’m so sorry this is happening right now. You are very strong. I admire that about you.

I think it might take a couple more days for the haldol to kick in. When they shot me up with it in the hospital it took a couple of days for me to feel better.

Just
Wish the thoughts I need to cut would subside. So strong urge and don't wanna disappoint Matt.

Is Matt your therapist?

Sorry yeah he's my
Psychologist

Try to keep holding on to that thought.

Ok I have been

You can't go go IP. So you can't cut. Make the promise to yourself that if you cut than you go IP because if you cut it shows that you're no longer safe even if it's superficial cuts.

I'll be fine. I'm feeling on today. I slept
Ok and haven't thought too much of demons.

Grounding and distraction

You can make it til you see Matt and stay safe

Mantra “ I see Matt in _____ days “

I think I am starting to feel a little better because I havent really thought about demons all day and I feel overall calm. I didnt have any obligations today so I have been sleeping and relaxing. This month has been super busy and chaotic. My psyd said that all that made me stressed and thats why I was afraid of demons and that that fear was not reality. I am starting to see that now. My mind is a little clearer and really I can speak like myself if that makes sense.

Thanks for all the support. Only 3 days til I see psyd. I got this!

Omg today has been so much better! I can think clearly and not as confused or fearful of things. I haven't been scared of demons at all!

I'm so glad!

Me too. I was getting really crazy feeling inside. Constant fear and anxiety.

I'm thankful my psyd didn't send me ip. I remember him not wanting me
To be alone so I'm glad he let me leave. I'm not sure how much longer I could have handled it