Mixed Episode

I think I’m in the middle of a mixed episode. I’ve been super irritable for the past week or so. Losing my temper. Everything just irritating me. Tonight I’m noticing that I feel like my skin is crawling and I’m restless and my heart is racing but at the same time I feel tired and unmotivated to be productive. Ugh. No real point to this post other than to share with people who get it

I get that way sometimes. I usually isolate totally when I do, at least I try to. Someone always comes in and starts into me and catches all the rage I can voice in the span of 30 seconds or as long as they can stand there after the first five when I've said "you don't want to do this right now."
Let it out here please. You might feel better. If someone gets offended then they shouldn't be reading it. You may cuss at me in PM if it helps. I will try to make you laugh though

I hate when that happens! Thankfully it's only happened a few times in the past few years but I completely understand! My mixed episodes usually involve me feeling like a wind-up toy with a lack of motivation to expel that energy. Sucks majorly.

When I’m mixed I take a prescribed sleep aid and go to bed.

I completely understand. I seem to get mixed episodes a lot lately. Most people identify it when I’m talking really fast, my thoughts are all over the place, I get fidgety, angry, irritable, then crying uncontrollably. I can experience all these emotions within about 1 to 2 minutes. Not only is it frustrating, it’s so exhausting. I can get overly excited and productive in the morning, depressed and unable to get anything done in the afternoon, and irritable and angry in the evening. I am so sorry you are going through one now. I think mixed episodes are pure hell.

I can’t remember feeling this bad in a long time. I chatted a local mental health line who gave me a crisis number and when I called the number I got a voicemail. What do I do?

Have you called the number again? Are you still getting their voicemail? That is so odd. I would call the mental health line again, explain the situation, and ask them to find another crisis number. You really need to talk to someone. All of the 3 times I’ve been IP the past 2 years I was admitted with the diagnosis of a mixed episode. If you are suddenly feeling very bad, and a mixed episode will make you feel that way, you’ve got to talk to a professional to see what you’re next course of action should be. Being in a mixed episode is not just hell, it is dangerous. Please do whatever you can to talk through your symptoms. Keep us updated on how you’re doing.

Do you need to call 911? Or is there another crisis number that you can call a little outside of your community, who is still able to help? They should be able to help you.

Is your pdoc easy to get a hold of, where you have his or her cell phone number? Maybe your pdoc can direct you to the right person to talk to, but if you are feeling so bad that you need to go to the ER, it's better to stay safe. Having someone you trust there with you or talk to you, who can also get involved to help you, even if it means bringing you somewhere to be screened might be needed if you don't want to go alone or you need someone to talk to (an emergency contact especially). I definitely wouldn't wait to get help though. Sounds like you need something urgent.

I totally get it. I have had plenty of mixed episodes, and they are hell. Lately, I have some mixed symptoms "leaking through" my meds. My irritability is way high, I'm restless and anxious, but trying to cope. The heart racing is also something I am struggling with. When I am especially bad, I am super impulsive, self-destructive, depressed at the same time as manic, sometimes I hear things, the racing thoughts are constant, I can't calm down, I often get paranoid, and I get super distracted. Keep posting and reaching out for help. It often helps me feel better.

Agree completely. Please seek out immediate help if you are feeling really bad. You should not be dealing with a mixed episode on your own.

Sending big hugs and hoping you feel better soon.

Thanks for all of your replies. The lack of mental health services in my area is disgusting. I don’t have a doc that I can easily get ahold of. My therapist cant get me in until tomorrow. I left a voicemail on the crisis line and someone did call me back. I’m not sure how much it helped. I ended up taking a double dose of Ativan and trying to sleep. I took of work today and got a nasty text message from my boss about it. I slept all day today from the extra meds. I’m feeling a little better tonight than I did last night but I don’t believe the episode is over.

That’s good you are doing a little better, but not good that you had to take more meds and sleep so much longer to feel a little better. .

I’m sorry you have trouble getting in touch with mental health services, it’s one reason we plan to eventually move back to the bigger city we lived in for 12 years before moving to eastern NC hell.

It is ridiculous you can’t even take a day off without your boss having a fit. But I used to have a job like that, where if I missed a day it ripped a hole in the fabric of the universe, because of how difficult it was to get someone to cover my evaluations for the day due to us being so short staffed. That stress is a big part of why I can’t work now, and no one should have to deal with angry texts.

The mixed episode very likely will not go away on its own, so just hang in there until you talk to your therapist tomorrow. You really may need an adjustment in meds very quickly, and if your pdoc can’t do it, you may have to go to a hospital. The main goal is to try to get you stabilized as soon as possible. I really hope someone will help you to get to that point.

I know you can get through this. You’ve made it through most of the day already, you can make it until you talk to your therapist tomorrow. Hopefully that will be beneficial for you, just hang in there.