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#851
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My moods continue to be labile with a lot of irritability. I do have some brief periods when I feel a little better, but then it changes all of a sudden. And for no good reason I have angry thoughts going through my mind a lot.
I did do a few productive things. I watched a couple of long YouTube videos my therapist sent me. I also managed to go to Whole Foods for a few things, and that is a huge thing since Whole Foods is a bit of a drive (to me). Then since I was in the area I went to this Asian fast food place and bought wonton soup to go since my husband thinks they have the best wonton soup anywhere, and he loves wonton soup. Then I went next door to Trader Joes and bought a couple of things, though I only went there to buy a birthday card. They had virtually no cards, so I went to a fancy card shop on my way home. In addition to buying a birthday card for my husband's friend, I bought my parrot a 1 year birthday card, and my husband an anniversary card. Then I went to the French international store and bought some baguette. Now I'm home. I shared a bit of a cranberry whole grain scone with my parrot. He really liked it. For some reason anything my husband or I eat he loves. |
![]() bizi, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() bizi, Nammu, VerMOZZica, Wild Coyote
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#852
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Just got off work.
My daughter didn’t do what I asked her to do and she smells like she’s been smoking. I’ve got a few hours to get stuff done at home. |
![]() Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#853
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Another day of not getting much done. It took a major effort for me just to clean my turtle`s tank today.I feel like I don`t have enough energy to do the things I need to do. I just really don`t want to be considered lazy or anything like that. This depression just takes it all out of me.
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![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#854
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Not a great day. Got my two new tires put on $286 later. The state messed up our food stamp card so instead of getting our normal $400 a month we are only getting $107 this month. My wife still isn't working either. Glad I got tires at this rate we are going to be living in the car. FML
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Guiness187055 Moderator Community support team |
![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#855
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Got out to the mall for lunch, meds and groceries. It was good to get out. Home, i played Scrabble and it didn't go well so i am back to thinking it's futile and regretting starting studying with an expert. I'll go thru with the lessons since i've paid for them but i don't have much hope.
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![]() Anonymous45023, liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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#856
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Quote:
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![]() Sunflower123
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#857
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I've been binge eating for 2 days, I cannot get enough to eat right now...wtf is up with that
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Current Meds Lamictal 200 mg x2 Seroquel 100 mg |
![]() liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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#858
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Just got back from an emergency pdoc visit.. realized this past Tuesday that I have been in a hypo-manic episode for almost a month without even knowing. Sigh. Med change time
I was put on Lexapro prior to my BPII dx for GAD/depression, and was told that SSRIs can invoke BPII behaviors, so we are going to phase out Lexapro and replace it with Cymbalta which is an SNRI. In addition to that I am being given Zyprexa to take nightly to calm my *** down a bit and hopefully bring that hypo down to baseline. Also we are increasing my Trileptal from 150mg twice daily, to three times daily, then after 5 days of that bump it up to 300mg twice daily. Apparently I was on a fairly low dose before. So hoping that will help as well. Yay
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BPII/GAD/ADHD
Cymbalta 60mg Zyprexa 5mg Trileptal 600mg Adderall XR 20mg |
![]() Guiness187055, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
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#859
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I'm kinda up again. Trouble sleeping, the racing and ruminating thoughts, was feeling better, but then it turned to dysphoria/irritability. It's still exhausting though (being up and down so much in the last year), draining on my physical body. Med changed to Ability to offset the cost of Latuda, with a higher dose. Didn't start it yet though because I didn't want side effects while having to do taxes. I'll start first thing tomorrow. I'm so ready to feel better. Hope it works!
Watching some March Madness tonight. Oh, the irony! :P |
![]() Anonymous45023, Guiness187055, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
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#860
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Oh what a rush!! This one team is doing really well. The crowds are going wild and the players are pumped and the other team is pissed and fighting back, but still pretty far behind. It's intense!! And of course there's one really adorable one that sticks out to me. Waah waah! Probably none of this is too good for my manic side... Ha! I think that one player was taken out! Oh, well, it's over...but they won, so ...cough cough, will be seeing more of this team. *sigh* *swoon* I know! I have issues. :P (i REALLY get into stuff. You know how it is! Right?! I hope someone else gets it...kinda quiet here tonight!)
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![]() liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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#861
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I got into a little funk, but I'm ok now. Just been volunteering a lot. Tuesday the campaign gave me my own login so I could work on data at home, so have probably worked on data for a good 15 hrs since then. lol. I figured out they update the list of data at 2 am cause I was up late on tuesday night and had been on the site till about 1:30 and had gotten the list down to 8400, then logged back into the site at 2:30 and it was up to 9100. One day i will get it below 8000. I went and volunteered at church on wednesday and helped put up a bulletin board and did some data entry, then yesterday I went to the campaign office and got door hangers ready for canvassing this weekend. I'm going to go canvassing again this weekend. I need to remember to put some sunscreen on my face and get a poncho this time in case it rains. Going to clean out my car today in case I need to drive. I felt a bit mad for a while for a couple days cause someone implied that what I'm doing is beneath them, then yesterday said I was too over qualified to be doing this. Well guess what? I want this lady to win and if I can help out any way I can I'm happy about it. Politics is life for me and I will do my best at what they need me to do.
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![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous52314, LadyShadow, liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wander, Wild Coyote
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![]() LadyShadow, Nammu
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#862
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I am doing well.
showered today (so feel gross), but made it up by stroking someone's puppy dog which was soooo sweet, and having toast with fruit tea I've been trying to drink more teas (I've tried fruit, mint, just regular tea, and vanilla so far) makes my thirst go quicker |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous52314, LadyShadow, liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() LadyShadow
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#863
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Up at 7....so far so good
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![]() Anonymous52314, LadyShadow, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() LadyShadow
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#864
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Constant weird over here in Wanderland. Saw pdoc yesterday. He decreased my Lithium as the recent increase came with bad side effects. He also added Rexulti. Took 1 mg last night and struggled to sleep. Today I have been more agitated, panicked, and generally finding ‘reality’ bizarre. Worked tonight five hours. Managed to pull it off through the weirdness. Tried to study today but couldn’t get mind mind to focus or remember. Discouraging. Even though I logically know this is a negative frame of mind to be in I kinda like the strangeness of it all.
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD ![]() "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
![]() Anonymous45023, LadyShadow, liveforsummer, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#865
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So much for doing anything for our anniversary...
Found out that my husband wasn't paying a credit card down like he said he would. So all the tax return money went towards that card. I know he's not wanting me to stress but this is not helpful at all. I already started out grumpy today so this was a real kicker. It looks like going out to eat is pretty much it for this year. He says he wants us to plan, but he ends up taking a nap around the time we set aside to do it. Daughter is having a row with a couple of friends over D&D. Not sure what she is going to do. At least I logged 25 minutes on the treadmill. Hopefully that will become more of a thing. Still have to put away dishes and make dinner this evening. Mood is now better, but it was a rough start. |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, LadyShadow, liveforsummer, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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#866
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it's a snowy, windy, cold day here today. I've been out and I just cannot get warm again. Still experimenting with prescribed Adderall. I think I'll take another hot shower before I get dinner together.
![]() Love to All, ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, bizi, LadyShadow, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
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![]() bizi
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#867
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Really good day today. Busy, busy, busy with my blog, Facebook and a connecting with a bunch of people. Loving it! The Seroquel increase from 100mg to 150mg is working out BEAUTIFULLY! As much as I hate medication and EVERY damn thing about taking it, managing it and realizing when I need extra help has become a very helpful tool to me.
Being so self-aware of when my moods shift and the presence of mania has helped me kick the crap out of Bipolar!! WOOHOO!
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Tales of Love, Motivation, and An Interesting Journey - Please Subscribe to my Website on WordPress: Inspired Odyssey's Journey of Grace, Grit and Starting Again |
![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, bizi, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() bizi, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#868
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So ****ing **** right now
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![]() Anonymous45023, LadyShadow, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wander, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#869
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I’m having a great day! I’ve switched back to happy hypo and I love it. I wasn’t too happy during the day at work so I took a half of a .5 Ativan to chill me out. It worked but I was still too sedated. So I’m just gonna have to suffer at work. Hope I don’t get too high and hope no one notices. Right now I’m blasting my music and madly cleaning. I even cleaned the shower drain. NV is coming over tomorrow and I’m super excited. Maybe what’s fueling this hypomania. No I know what’s fueling it. Spring and rexulti. If only it could be like this all the time. I managed to quell my impulse to buy two cat beds and a pair of Bluetooth ear buds. I only have $400 for the next week, which is plenty but better if I save it. See I’m in control!!! Maybe I’m not even hypomanic! Except I’m seeing things l, people standing where no one is really standing and I’m hearing my name called in the silence hence the music blasting and...yeah. Oh well. It’s all good!
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() Anonymous45023, bizi, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() bizi, Wild Coyote
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#870
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Ugh...we went out of town for a few days to visit my sister and nephews (roughly a 6 hour drive). I ended up with the worst case of stomach flu I have had in years. My husband nearly took me to an urgent care place to get an IV to get rehydrated, but I was finally able to take in more fluids. Still not much appetite, eating bland foods. I am happy to be home. Not many issues with BP or panic, but I was really just too sick for any of that to bother me. I did get an email reminder that my first appointment with a new pdoc is next week. I am glad as I had been having some depression and anxiety. I hate having to start with a new pdoc again (old one is retiring, and I have seen her for 10 years).
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![]() Anonymous41462, Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#871
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Quote:
bizi
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lamictal 2x a day haldol 2x a day cogentin 2x a day klonipin , 1mg at night, fish oil coq10 multi vit,, vit c, at noon, tumeric, caffeine Remeron at night, zyprexa, requip2-4mg |
![]() Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
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#872
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Had a relatively good day at work, as it good as it can be. Have a lot of housework this weekend plus choir.
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![]() Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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#873
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I don’t think I’m manic though I’m not getting my usual energy theories or the urge to write essays.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() bizi, Sunflower123
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![]() bizi
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#874
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Im surviving off gummy worms and long car rides
I hope the luck of the irish is with us all a bit tomorrow
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I used to rule the world Seas would rise when I gave the word Now in the morning, I sleep alone Sweep the streets I used to own I used to roll the dice Feel the fear in my enemy's eyes Listen as the crowd would sing Now the old king is dead! Long live the king! One minute I held the key Next the walls were closed on me And I discovered that my castles stand Upon pillars of salt and pillars of sand |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous52314, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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![]() Nammu
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#875
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I walked on the treadmill and took a shower. I've only had water for the past several hours. I've remembered other years when i've been hm by St. Patrick's Day. Here it is, the eve of that day, and my hm is no where to be found. Sigh! Hope i don't skip it this year...
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![]() Anonymous52314, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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Closed Thread |
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