[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by cln1812

I'm having hypomania, but I was able to see my new pdoc today. He sent in some prescriptions for sleep and anxiety that will hopefully help me. Once I get the sleep under control, it helps bring down the mania and keeps me from doing risky things or spending money we don't have, being irritable and alienating the people I love.

I think he is going to work out better than the new pdoc I saw in early March, OMG, she should NOT be a pdoc at all! He will not replace my old pdoc, but I feel like he listens, and I can work with him.

Great news!
I am happy for you!

WC

Had a rough day at work. Work itself wasn't rough, but I kept hearing whispers. I got there at 6:30am and heard voices whispering my name, and what sounded like radio stations that were talking about me. It was all morning long.

Around 10am, i finally got a break from my name being called when people started to show up and drown out the voices and radio. I just couldn't find where the radio was because it was 6:30am and no one was around, so I don't know who had it on. But it was distracting me. It kept calling my name and it sounded like a baseball game of some sort. I thought it was a guy named Tom who normally watches sports on his computer in the morning while he works, but no, he wasn't there. He comes in at 7:30am. And he usually doesn't have the sound on anyways.

[wildflowerchild25]

I was jazzed this morning but I think I wore myself out pacing the classroom. I was so bored I couldn’t just stand there. I’m tired now. Still pissed about the snow but it is what it is right. I had to cancel my therapy appointment because of the stupid weather. I didn’t really want to go anyway. I’m feeling fine today. Maybe even getting a little down but like I said, who tf knows really.

[giddykitty]

I don't know what to say anymore. I'm kinda in a fog. Folks, I updated my blog today. Please follow me! ha! No, I'm not desperate or anything. I'm not, but it would give me a little boost to know I'm not talking to myself, then maybe I'd stop complaining so much in it. ha! (I only complain in a few posts)
later!

[scatterbrained04]

Feeling pretty anxious today and still a bit depressed. My mind is starting to run away with negative thoughts and worries. Trying hard to find something to distract, but my concentration is sucking.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by giddykitty

I don't know what to say anymore. I'm kinda in a fog. Folks, I updated my blog today. Please follow me! ha! No, I'm not desperate or anything. I'm not, but it would give me a little boost to know I'm not talking to myself, then maybe I'd stop complaining so much in it. ha! (I only complain in a few posts)
later!

I read the various blogs. Why don't you make yours more easily accessible?
It's a turn off to click on the link and then find 2 hurdles to simply reading your blog. If you prefer to keep it private, that's fine, but then why post that you'd like followers?
I'd love to read your blog, too. Can you make it easier for people to do so?


WC

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Moreta

I'm deleting my account. So have fun everyone. I hope you find what you want to in life. I have overstayed my stay here.

What? What I’d miss?

[leomama]

Originally Posted by giddykitty

I don't know what to say anymore. I'm kinda in a fog. Folks, I updated my blog today. Please follow me! ha! No, I'm not desperate or anything. I'm not, but it would give me a little boost to know I'm not talking to myself, then maybe I'd stop complaining so much in it. ha! (I only complain in a few posts)

later!

What’s the link?

[leomama]

Worked today then saw my p doc, still lowering my lamictal. Learned a few new vocabulary words such as circumstantial speaking. Had a discussion about what it means to be bipolar. At least I learned there are a variety of bipolar types.

[xRavenx]

There is a major snowstorm coming. They make you use up all your paid time off days at work whenever there is a snowstorm, and we've had a few. The hard drive on my computer is failing. I just found this out through over-the-phone tech support since I've had some problems the past few days, so I have to drop off my laptop. It's always something. They need to install a new hard drive.

As far as my mood, it's on the low side, but I am managing as much as possible. I have high anxiety though and feel sick still, so I have been trying to take it easy and take medicine on top of psych medicine. I am hoping I don't get nausea again, because that really threw me off since I had to skip medications. Just trying to take it one step at a time.

[Under*Over]

I feel hopeful yet slightly stressed

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m realizing a **** ton of **** about myself with this potential new relationship. Stuff I realized before but never put into practice. Like how I always think I don’t seserve to feel happy and that my feelings don’t matter. My new potential relationship is putting a lot of things in perspective for me.

Maybe just cause I’ve been drinking (again) but I took my meds (good or bad?)

Today after i had my salad for lunch i still felt hungry and was tempted to binge and quit dieting. I thought, "It's just too hard." I fought it off and had a banana instead. Oddly, i wasn't elated by my success. I was miserable for hours until i got some thinspiration and then i felt great! I cleaned the tub, which was long overdue and took a shower, also overdue. Aces!

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’m realizing a **** ton of **** about myself with this potential new relationship. Stuff I realized before but never put into practice. Like how I always think I don’t seserve to feel happy and that my feelings don’t matter. My new potential relationship is putting a lot of things in perspective for me.

Maybe just cause I’ve been drinking (again) but I took my meds (good or bad?)

I think it's great that you're realizing a lot of things about yourself! I don't understand myself sometimes, and it's frustrating. It's like I don't know what I want.

What does your new guy think? Does he make you feel special so that you feel you deserve happiness?

[bizi]

onto my second cup of coffee, ready to face the day. It is a bit chilly here 47 degrees this morning, ready for warmer temps.
bizi

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I think it's great that you're realizing a lot of things about yourself! I don't understand myself sometimes, and it's frustrating. It's like I don't know what I want.

What does your new guy think? Does he make you feel special so that you feel you deserve happiness?

Yes he does, blue. He’s making me question all the negative things I say about myself and the way I’ve trained myself to believe I don’t deserve anything. I haven’t felt this way about anyone since I met my husband back when I was 19. Now we’re taking things slow of course because I’m so ****ed up but he makes me want to get better. Just a month ago I was posting on here about how I was irrevocably damaged and didn’t care anymore. Now I do care. I don’t want to be just a shell of a person anymore. And he makes me feel like it’s possible to face everything that came with my husband’s death; the betrayal, the grief, the guilt...face it all instead of being a bitter angry person for the rest of my life. It’s incredible.

I’m not even hypomanic or drunk today lol.

[scatterbrained04]

I totally get you, wildflower. I'm going through the same thing right now.

I'm having a really rough morning. Hope you all have a decent day.

No sleep again. It's going to be a tough morning. Parents are more supportive after my most recent "time travel.

Not sure about posting...I feel like I'm being judged..

Addictive personality blows

[Anrea]

Tired of being strong. Want to take a day off from myself. Depressed and Angry today for no reason other then BP, so trying to be pleasant seeming, and avoid unnecessary interaction.

[Blueberrybook]

Well, I had a fender bender car accident this morning, so that sucked The police didn't assign blame because we were both turning left from parking lots and collided in the middle even though she stated it was her fault (guess she got lucky!). Unfortnately, no eyewitnesses stopped once they determined it was a fender bender and everyone was OK. At that time of day, the direction she was facing, the sun was right in her eyes, and I always watch for people turning left from that parking lot. I think she zipped through the parking lines of the parking lot, came to the exit & didn't even stop & turned. No one was hurt, but there was car damage (mine worse than hers). I was driving a Subaru Forester (the older model, before they made it a bit larger), she a much bigger SUV (Nissan pathfinder).

I am going to try to file with her car insurance first, see if I get any luck. I had to take the car to an auto body repair shop, and even with the minimal damage, the estimate to fix it is $2000! Luckily, the car is still driveable, the lights and turn signals all work, so the damage appears to be mostly cosmetic. If I have to file through my car insurance, it will be $500. If I want my insurance to investigate and they find 50/50 blame or her to blame, I will have to pay $250, or perhaps less if they can wrangle the money out of her insurance (long drawn out process from what my insurance company tells me). I guess both companies have to do investigations and determine the fault, even if the police officer didn't ticket anyone or assign any blame.

So, so far, a sucky day.

[Unrigged64072835]

Happy second day of spring--there's 2+ inches of heavy, wet snow to clear off the driveway so I can put the trash out. And there's supposed to be more.

I went to see sleep doc. Told him about pnurse taking me off Lunesta, and he said it was her call. He also changed my settings from variable to constant. At least I have compliance data so I can get my CPAP supplies, but Medicare has been a real stickler so far. I am the point where I'm not caring about the cost, just give me my supplies NOW. Frustrating. I also gained more weight so now I have to get that off. No more treats or sugar.

Daughter talked to us about moving out this summer. She and a couple of friends want to rent a townhouse near here. She'll be hired next month and she has a 90 day probationary period, so that's why they're waiting. Thing is once she moves out we'll be tearing up this place to sell, and we don't have that money yet. We're almost done with paying off Christmas buying but we still have the loan for the roof to pay off, and get all our cards paid off. That'll leave us with the car loan. That's going to take some time and also limiting our fun for a while. We'll see.

Mood is okay despite some anxiety from the visit this morning. Going to get ready to do some weight-lifting shortly.

ETA: did a light weight workout. Man am I out of shape!

[Nammu]

I fell asleep round 1am......then woke up at 4am! Was just falling back to sleep when my daughter got here with her daughter for me to babysit. Sigh. She's being crabby too. Just got her stretched out for a nap......hope she falls asleep soon. Daughter is seeing her doc then getting the down payment for the town home she's renting. I still worry about her separation from the kids dad. He did do something proactive now that she moved out. Now he gets serious about taking anger management classes. It might be too little too late. He does take antidepressants but he quit therapy and refused to go to couples T. My daughter wasn't going to let her kids grow up seeing their dad putting her down, yelling and destroying property. Quite right. Still I worry he'll get mad and withhold the child support....then where will she be?

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by cln1812

Well, I had a fender bender car accident this morning, so that sucked The police didn't assign blame because we were both turning left from parking lots and collided in the middle even though she stated it was her fault (guess she got lucky!). Unfortnately, no eyewitnesses stopped once they determined it was a fender bender and everyone was OK. At that time of day, the direction she was facing, the sun was right in her eyes, and I always watch for people turning left from that parking lot. I think she zipped through the parking lines of the parking lot, came to the exit & didn't even stop & turned. No one was hurt, but there was car damage (mine worse than hers). I was driving a Subaru Forester (the older model, before they made it a bit larger), she a much bigger SUV (Nissan pathfinder).

I am going to try to file with her car insurance first, see if I get any luck. I had to take the car to an auto body repair shop, and even with the minimal damage, the estimate to fix it is $2000! Luckily, the car is still driveable, the lights and turn signals all work, so the damage appears to be mostly cosmetic. If I have to file through my car insurance, it will be $500. If I want my insurance to investigate and they find 50/50 blame or her to blame, I will have to pay $250, or perhaps less if they can wrangle the money out of her insurance (long drawn out process from what my insurance company tells me). I guess both companies have to do investigations and determine the fault, even if the police officer didn't ticket anyone or assign any blame.

So, so far, a sucky day.

You soooo deserve a break from all of this stuff!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by 2ISAB

No sleep again. It's going to be a tough morning. Parents are more supportive after my most recent "time travel.

Not sure about posting...I feel like I'm being judged..

Addictive personality blows

I'm guessing most of us cannot afford to judge anyone!
You are always a part of this crowd!

WC

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

I'm guessing most of us cannot afford to judge anyone!
You are always a part of this crowd!

WC

Who ever you really are, thank-you WC