[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

Wildflower....i am beyond insanely angry about what that teacher did. So carless and innapropriate and...just wow. I qmwould confront her if i was you. That was way out of line and she never took into account how that may make your son feel???
We cant predict their futures and he has a solid loving mother by his side. He may be totally fine and if not he has you to guide him through his troubles. I worry about my kids so much but so far things are ok.
Hoping you get some peace soon

Thanks, I plan on sending a curt email telling her that In the future I would prefer any concerns she has be brought to me directly instead of using my son as an intermediary. This teacher is very old school so I suppose that’s why she did it but I don’t care, it was completely inappropriate. Times change, we have email now if she didn’t want to call. She definitely has my email as I have emailed her before. I am going to tell her I am addressing the issue but not go into detail as I don’t think she deserves any details.

Nice to see you again by the way!

[wildflowerchild25]

up at 6:30 on a freaking saturday! Not cool. I'm definitely still a little hypo. I know that 6:30 doesn't seem too early but I've been sleeping until 9 or 10 on the weekends so it's definitely early for me! I want to listen to music really loud too, and SHOP. But I don't have anything to shop for! I really don't need any more clothes. I'm going to take my son to Five Below later. He wants to get a set of weights lol. Not sure why a 7 year old wants a set of weights but it is never too early to start exercising!

I had kind of an upsetting dream this morning right before I woke up. Could be why I didn't go back to sleep as well.

Well I hope everyone has a good day!

[leomama]

Im starting to think about how my brain works and ask myself what might be bipolar. There was a thread about whether or not it was my brain or the medication. In my case its whether or not it’s my brain or the disorder.

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

A new city, a new job in a new industry, and a new house

A two hour a day commute (used to be 20 minutes total), on ugly roads in an dirty grey city

No p.doc, no T, a lousy GP

The death of an abusive parent, and the reappearance of an abusive sibling

I hate it here

I want to go back home

Did you not choose any of this?

[Moreta]

I slept 12 hrs last night. Feel pretty good. Gonna go to the gym and aldi today. I think I need 1 more cup of coffee though. Then I'll be good to go. Gonna go without provigil today and see how it goes. I lost some more weight so happy about that.

[leomama]

Yeah I’m not sure how I’m feeling. It’s been 2 weeks on 250mg lamictal, coming down from 300mg. I got plenty of sleep last night but I feel depressed due to feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of chores & errands & projects I have to do today. Laundry, shop, clean makeup and hairbrushes , vacuum, plus I need to touch up a painting for work plus take care of taxes and some other paperwork. Thankfully I’m going to see my t today to talk about something that happened at work this week.

[jacky8807]

I oversept my pdoc appointment that i really needed and didnt even have it in me to call. Im suffering bad and cannot make it far out of bed. I am avoiding anything about suicide because im so scared its a rabbit hole i would get lost in. Even seeibg the suicide hotline scares me .I guess its a good sign im scared. Blah

[Tucson]

I have purchased an activity monitor on a wrist strap. I will start exercising with it tomorrow by walking a couple miles. I need to build the muscle mass up that I lost in my crash diet that happened not on purpose. It even can beep when there is a phone call or message received. There is even a GPS, but I do not expect this to work well. My first goal is about 4000 steps and 2100 calories a day.

I have been working on how to best make mascarpone, an Italian cheese that can be used in recipes like cheese cake. This is a very rich and creamy cheese. This has costed me some money and time to get right. My goal here is to make a tiramisu like cheese cake. I will have to adapt some recipe for this to work out.

Today I am just going to do not much of anything except clean up my house some. I also need to do my laundry and hang up the clothes on my bedroom floor. Tomorrow is my appointment to the car dealership in order to find what the problem is with my car transmission. I hope this does not turn into a lot of money. I have already just spent most of my money on the ourchase of the car.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

I oversept my pdoc appointment that i really needed and didnt even have it in me to call. Im suffering bad and cannot make it far out of bed. I am avoiding anything about suicide because im so scared its a rabbit hole i would get lost in. Even seeibg the suicide hotline scares me .I guess its a good sign im scared. Blah

I am sorry you are having a rough time right now.
What has worked before to get you out of this place?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Unrigged64072835]

Hugs to those that want them.

Did all but one of the review modules this morning. I'll keep going over them until the password for the final is released.

Been writing poetry but it's been kind of dark and sometimes whiny. It's been rainy and gray all day too so that doesn't help. I wanted to start another song but been sidetracked with vacuuming the living room and bedroom. My back hurts and my arms are limp noodles. I also need to start working out again. Ugh.

Thawing out pork chops for dinner. Another new recipe so I hope it works out.

Mood is kind of up and down, but manageable still.

[jacky8807]

Originally Posted by bizi

I am sorry you are having a rough time right now.
What has worked before to get you out of this place?
((((HUGS))))
bizi

Hey thanks. Seroquel worked wonders for me but the problem is i work the night shift now. If i came home at 7am to sleep and took a seroquel i would never wake up again. I have been off work for the past week as i had paid time off hours built up andi thought i would get better but i just got worse. Every day i sink deeper down and its the kind of depression that feels so bad it actually hurts.

[Cocosurviving]

I’ve had a rough couple of days. I have not been feeling good. It’s been raining nonstop and no sunshine. Well today the sunshine came out. It made my day to finally get some sun. I left the house today and checked mail. Then I fueled my car up for next week. My daughter has Girl Scouts boot sales tomorrow. I hope I feel up to going.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by jacky8807

Hey thanks. Seroquel worked wonders for me but the problem is i work the night shift now. If i came home at 7am to sleep and took a seroquel i would never wake up again. I have been off work for the past week as i had paid time off hours built up andi thought i would get better but i just got worse. Every day i sink deeper down and its the kind of depression that feels so bad it actually hurts.

No fun.

I am concerned about you, ms. jacky!
That is not a good place to be.

We are here for you.

Love and Prayers,

WC

[Tucson]

I just realized that I have not been taking one of my antidepressants for weeks now. This has been one continual brain fart. No wonder I have been struggling with sdepression, worse than it usually is for me.

[Guiness187055]

Totally useless day. I wanted to get so much accomplished I just didn't have it in me. Lied around all day.

[Standup2me]

Originally Posted by leomama

Did you not choose any of this?

I moved because hubby wanted to get closer to his family. I thought that the
move would not be that hard...but I underestimated it badly.
Gotta pull myself up, and get my groove back
I promise to try

[leomama]

Originally Posted by Standup2me

I moved because hubby wanted to get closer to his family. I thought that the

move would not be that hard...but I underestimated it badly.

Gotta pull myself up, and get my groove back

I promise to try

Does he know you post here?

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

I’ve had a rough couple of days. I have not been feeling good. It’s been raining nonstop and no sunshine. Well today the sunshine came out. It made my day to finally get some sun. I left the house today and checked mail. Then I fueled my car up for next week. My daughter has Girl Scouts boot sales tomorrow. I hope I feel up to going.

I am sorry you have been having a tough time.
I hope you feel better soon.
Take care.

WC

[wildflowerchild25]

I’ve been through the wringer today. Started hypo af, making plans to buy paint to paint the doors in the house, ended up shopping for different items and spending $150 on my son for nonsense stuff he doesn’t need. Crashed around lunch time. Like fell hard into depression. I’ve never had changes within the same day before. It’s crazy. Then, I went to my SIL house for awhile, felt a little better, but got extremely anxious on the way home. First I couldn’t remember if I had locked my car so I thought maybe someone had hidden in the backseat or under the car in order to jump out and hurt me or my son. Then going home I thought every car was a cop and that I was going to get pulled over, mistaken for being drunk or high because of anxiety, and arrested. Then I FINALLY made it home safely and I was walking up to the house and thought my mother could be in there dead because someone broke in and murdered her. VERY cautious going in. She’s fine btw. Then I discovered the back door unlocked. I wonder how long it’s been unlocked??? I’m freaking out

I just want this crazy roller coaster to stop!!! I’ve never had such rapid cycling before, I’ve had rapid cycling but not day to day, hour to hour nearly!!! I hate it!!!

In other news my son’s teacher emailed me back and completely ignored all my concerns. I’m done dealing with her. I’ll tell my son to respect her and follow directions but not worry about what she says about him.

Edited to add: despite everything I’ve been going through I am one month cigarette free today!

[bizi]

wild flower please call your pdoc or T.
This is mania,
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

I’ve been through the wringer today. Started hypo af, making plans to buy paint to paint the doors in the house, ended up shopping for different items and spending $150 on my son for nonsense stuff he doesn’t need. Crashed around lunch time. Like fell hard into depression. I’ve never had changes within the same day before. It’s crazy. Then, I went to my SIL house for awhile, felt a little better, but got extremely anxious on the way home. First I couldn’t remember if I had locked my car so I thought maybe someone had hidden in the backseat or under the car in order to jump out and hurt me or my son. Then going home I thought every car was a cop and that I was going to get pulled over, mistaken for being drunk or high because of anxiety, and arrested. Then I FINALLY made it home safely and I was walking up to the house and thought my mother could be in there dead because someone broke in and murdered her. VERY cautious going in. She’s fine btw. Then I discovered the back door unlocked. I wonder how long it’s been unlocked??? I’m freaking out

I just want this crazy roller coaster to stop!!! I’ve never had such rapid cycling before, I’ve had rapid cycling but not day to day, hour to hour nearly!!! I hate it!!!

In other news my son’s teacher emailed me back and completely ignored all my concerns. I’m done dealing with her. I’ll tell my son to respect her and follow directions but not worry about what she says about him.

Edited to add: despite everything I’ve been going through I am one month cigarette free today!

congratulations!

1 month is great!

(((((hugs))))))

I have had a productive weekend packing up the rest of my stuff ready to move out of here on tuesday.

since my mental health worker won't be supporting me in my new place, she came round on friday afternoon with a present for me (a big box of chocolates). it was a little sad to say goodbye to her, but it is what it is.. and I should be used to it by now, saying goodbye to professionals.

just want tuesday to come now and get it over with. sort of dragging now everything's done it's just a waiting game

Possible trigger:

one of the reasons I want tuesday to come is actually so I can report them for abuse.

over the time I've been here, I've seen shocking abuse towards another woman. I won't go in to it, I'll just say that this woman can't defend herself and so it's really wrong.

I did overeat friday (I ordered a pizza first, then ate all the chocolate I got in 1 sitting), and harmed myself a little on saturday

not been sleeping (surprise surprise), but remain largely unaffected by it

[LadyShadow]

Totally all over the place. I mean my mind is going, I am up but at the same time down. I am disappointed in some of the friendships I have made in recent weeks. At the same time I am doing okay, feeling kinda good, but kinda not.

Eh, maybe sleep is the answer.

[bpforever1]

I still hear voices but am surviving. I have no one here though. So, it is tough. I go here and there but the voices follow me everywhere. Sometimes, they are quiet then out of the blue they come back. I wonder if I'm ok physically. I eat a lot. My mood is not bad but am eating like a horse. I am beginning to gain weight and look like a little bear. I need to watch out. I eat a lot from stress. I like eating. I go places where I have never gone. I went to Wolfgang Puck's pizza joint the other day but was not satisfied. They are very expensive and their pepperoni pizza was too salty. I drank about five glasses of water- terrible. I also ate a farmer's breakfast today. Then, I had cheesecake with blueberry. I looked at my arms today and was repulsed. I look like tiny bear. I am wearing the same clothes but think I must have gained 20 pounds in the past month. I look huge in comparison than before. I am not too tall but am wide. Let's put is this way- I'm fat but not too fat yet. So, I'm sad again. I need to eat less and walk more. It is not easy. I eat a lot because I hear voices which stress me out. It is sad indeed.

[GoldenSnitch]

I’ve been having a lot of anxiety. When I was IP the pdoc there took me off of all meds I was on and switched to new ones and I’m fearing that the new anxiety med isn’t working as well as the old one. I’m really frustrated with the whole situation. And my doc has awful hours so I haven’t been able to get in contact with the office all week when I’ve tried calling.