[bizi]

I need to get into the shower!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
bizi

I finally took a shower and I exfoliated my chest/neck with my finger nails, ouch.
but overall I feel better.
bizi

[Guiness187055]

After six long hours computer is built and running. Made for a long day.

Got a solid 5 hours of sleep last night! Took a risperdal, an ambien, then another ambien when I woke up after 2 hours. If I were to guestimate my sleep data for the past few months, that'd be up at the 98% percentile! Still maybe hypomanic though. Probably am. I want to curb this before it gets to be mania. My doc is angry at me because I won't put up with cures that are worse than the disease and pretty much said to go to the hospital if I need anything. He's not going to help.

[giddykitty]

Anxiety has been kicking my *** lately. Couple that with my preexisting condition and I've doubled anxiety symptoms. Mornings are the worst when I haven't had my meds. Of course I have to wait and take thyroid meds on empty stomach, then rush to eat and take these meds. ...but it is what it is. I think I'm about done complaining. Anxiety doesn't give me a lot of time to keep up so I'll write again if something changes. Need to talk to my pdoc soon, but waiting on new insurance.

[liveforsummer]

Absolutely crippled by simple decision making and so sad and frusterated by it. I miss out on so much.

Hugs to everyone

[bizi]

I need to get done sooner today to tackle my billing and other paper work that I hate doing, but got to bill if I want to be paid!
Working out of town tomorrow.
bizi

[251turnaround]

I'm feeling pretty great today, all things considered. I'm a bit anxious about some health news that came up earlier this week. I have an appointment next week to find out what's going on with my white blood cell count. I hope it's not something serious.

[Unrigged64072835]

Meeting last night went well. Daughter's cat recheck went well.

I have a swelling under the left back part of my chin. Went to urgent care; they said to call my PCM because I might need an ultrasound. The base hospital said there are no same-day appts and to wait for a telephone consultation which may not be until next Tuesday. It's not bad enough to go to the ER. I don't have teeth or gum pains or it's not dental-related. I can bring some of it down with ibuprofen but not all, and I've been taking it for my migraine the past two days. I didn't go to PT today because what I was doing could make it worse.

So pretty much a fun day.

Daughter is going out with friends while her boyfriend is working.

My mood is okay though I am annoyed.

[Tucson]

I am here. I am having two shirts and a sport coat altered. This will take about a week. I purchased it on EBay for $50, and the alteration will cost about another $50. It is a Hugo Boss that new would cost $600 and likely more. This sportcoat looks like new. I will exersize a bit today, maybe a mile. I think I will get my car washed and wipe down the insides. I will then have to figure out what to do for the rest of the day. Typical day for me now.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Meeting last night went well. Daughter's cat recheck went well.

I have a swelling under the left back part of my chin. Went to urgent care; they said to call my PCM because I might need an ultrasound. The base hospital said there are no same-day appts and to wait for a telephone consultation which may not be until next Tuesday. It's not bad enough to go to the ER. I don't have teeth or gum pains or it's not dental-related. I can bring some of it down with ibuprofen but not all, and I've been taking it for my migraine the past two days. I didn't go to PT today because what I was doing could make it worse.

So pretty much a fun day.

Daughter is going out with friends while her boyfriend is working.

My mood is okay though I am annoyed.

(((((( Fharraige ))))))

Thinking of you.

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by liveforsummer

Absolutely crippled by simple decision making and so sad and frusterated by it. I miss out on so much.

Hugs to everyone

(((((( liveforsummer ))))))


WC

[Cocosurviving]

I had a really good day. I spent some time with my disabled aunt and my grandmother. Then I spoke with the director at my pdoc’s office. I was assigned a new pdoc Monday my last one left. The new pdoc brought up religion. She told me she did not believe medication could help with anger. That you just have to learn to “let it go”. I told the director I do not know why that pdoc is even a psychiatrist. She told me what her religion was. I politely told her I’m not into religion. The director was very understanding. She understood why I would not feel comfortable sharing things with this current pdoc. What if one day I was suicidal I might be afraid to tell her. She’d probably tell me to just pray about it and it will go away. I grew up going to church every Sunday in a Christian household. When I became an adult and went to college...learned the history behind Christianity I decided to have no part in it. The director said she would assign me a new pdoc.

[wildflowerchild25]

I was back and forth today. They bothered me in group. I mean just the facilitator. Although there’s this one very loud lady in group who keeps telling me to pray as much as I can. Thanks but no. I’m not religious and haven’t been for many years. She also keeps bringing up that I’m overweight??? Like I know that lady you don’t have to bring it up in front of everyone. She gives me exercise advice and says if I exercise I’ll attract a man. Thanks I have a man who doesn’t care that I’m so overweight. She’s really ****ing annoying but I’m letting it go because you can tell she’s not completely with it.

Anyway I was depressed this morning. Then I went to the gym and felt better, then I took a nap and had a really scary dream. I felt like paralyzed in my sleep and a Demon was messing with me, and appeared to me in the form of a reflection of myself. It was scary as ****. I felt depressed again when I woke up. I picked up my son and went to dinner. Then I decided to sit outside in the sunshine and breeze listening to my inspiring music and I felt better again. Now I’m feeling ok, like the depression is right below the surface but I’m fighting it. So we will see how I feel tomorrow. I just want the depression to go away.

[Daonnachd]

A very productive day. I got the lawn done, did laundry, did dishes, did some grocery shopping, even did some painting in a return to a long-ignored hobby. I refrained from the purchases I nearly fell for. I had everything in the cart and ready to hit CHECK OUT when I thought about needing the money to feed my family. All in all, I'm feeling quite good, have been since my ECT last Friday.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by vertigo

A very productive day. I got the lawn done, did laundry, did dishes, did some grocery shopping, even did some painting in a return to a long-ignored hobby. I refrained from the purchases I nearly fell for. I had everything in the cart and ready to hit CHECK OUT when I thought about needing the money to feed my family. All in all, I'm feeling quite good, have been since my ECT last Friday.

I love the "quite good" report!

WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

I had a really good day. I spent some time with my disabled aunt and my grandmother. Then I spoke with the director at my pdoc’s office. I was assigned a new pdoc Monday my last one left. The new pdoc brought up religion. She told me she did not believe medication could help with anger. That you just have to learn to “let it go”. I told the director I do not know why that pdoc is even a psychiatrist. She told me what her religion was. I politely told her I’m not into religion. The director was very understanding. She understood why I would not feel comfortable sharing things with this current pdoc. What if one day I was suicidal I might be afraid to tell her. She’d probably tell me to just pray about it and it will go away. I grew up going to church every Sunday in a Christian household. When I became an adult and went to college...learned the history behind Christianity I decided to have no part in it. The director said she would assign me a new pdoc.

Very nice job of advocating for yourself!

You are fortunate, too, you live in an area where you have choices in pdocs!

I hope the new pdoc is a great fit for you!


WC

[wildflowerchild25]

My mom told me she wishes there was “on organic farm” where I could go for a few months, come off all meds, work on the farm, and then decide if I really need meds. Ummmm....wtf? She doesn’t support meds now? Does she KNOW what I’m like without any meds at all? Oh that’s right no she doesn’t because she’s oblivious. I’m a ****ing wreck with no meds. Now to be fair I’ve been a ****ing wreck with meds too for the past year but I think a lot of that had to do with work. I’m hoping now I’ll be able to find some stability. If I can kick this depression without going into hypomania. It’s been about a month so I’m
Hoping soon. I was hypo for about a month so maybe a switch is coming my way.

I feel like going to sleep but that dream I had before scared me. I don’t want it to happen again. But I have to sleep eventually.

[bizi]

May the fourth be with you!
bizi

[251turnaround]

Slept 3 intermittent hours last night. I just had too much happy energy. The dreams I did have were vivid and intense and kind of dark in a way. I just couldn't stop getting up and doing things throughout the night. I even doubled up my sleeping meds to no avail.

So yeah. I guess it's all this stress piling on that's doing it.

[Blueberrybook]

Well, I'm hypomanic, got up at 3 AM today and then proceeded to go on over a 9 mile walk. All this before 8 AM. I really need to listen to the pdoc and take the extra Seroquel he wants me to take, but I don't want to do it. Ugh!

Yesterday, I heard a phone ringing over my bed. It was in the middle of my bed and elevated 3 feet in the air. Sounded like an old fashioned telephone.

This morning, I saw a figure right by my bedroom door. The figure was blurry, but it looked like a lady. Raspberry colored t-shirt and had short, black hair and fair skin. Their hand was on the door handle. I tried to scream, but nothing came out of my mouth. I was paralyzed in fear. My heart was racing.

Eventually, the figure disappeared into thin air. It made me jump so bad.

I don't know what these things mean, but they're freaking me out. I've never had anything like this before.

I am settled

[Unrigged64072835]

Can't see a doc until Monday afternoon. That's also our wedding anniversary. I gotta laugh--it never fails getting a medical appointment on either our anniversary or our birthdays. Thankfully we didn't put money down on anything so no financial loss there.

Finished working on last two batches of photos. It took me a while to remember the workflow, but once I did I went through fairly quickly.

Mood is okay for now.

[Wild Coyote]

It was a beautiful day today.
Still experiencing auditory illusions. Saw pdoc. C-PTSD is my primary psych diagnosis. The PTSD symptoms set off by attending a concert -- almost 2 weeks ago -- are continuing. Flashbacks and auditory illusions.
The air conditioner is "playing" some very hard rock and its very tiring. Am trying ear plugs; yet, not much relief.

I hope to sleep tonight. I have slept the 2 nights I have allowed myself to drink alcohol. I am not a huge fan of alcohol, but it does help, at least initially.

I do not want to take in any alcohol tonight.
I hope I can sleep.

Love to All!


WC

I've crashed from elevated mood in March and April. It was a very mild hypomania. I mostly got the sleep disturbance. I get up at noon the rest of the year but during my Spring Fever i get up at dawn. I didn't get the desire to socialize or the racing thoughts or the spending spree. It was a very tame hypomania. I crashed the moment the vet announced a $700 bill for my dog's Spring meds and pre-dental work tests. That took the stuffing out of me. Sorry i was so overbearing about my diet -- that's over too. Heavy sigh.