I am a little depressed but quite sure I'll survive.

not as bad as yesterday

iti s very hot today too.

I have my fan on to cool me down a little

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

A few years ago my pdoc increased my Lithium to 1800 MG. It still did not help with my depression. I went on Lamictal and once I reached therapeutic level it really helped. I hope you have better luck with your Lithium increase. It may work for you.

My blood level is 1.11 so I can't go higher than I am now I'm hoping it will start working soon.

I wish I could go back on Lamictal - it was great. I was on it for 4 years but it caused a really bad reaction with my liver so my doctor stopped it and that's how I ended up on Lithium.

Went to the neuropsychologist consultation appt. How useless. The lady isn't trying to find out what my true diagnosis is. She's just trying to figure out, "bipolar or not," according to her. Literally. It's a yes or no answer instead of "I think you have [insert MH issue here] instead of BP." I want to know if it's SZA or not, as I've had plenty of manic episodes.

Stupid. I'm going to cancel the neuropsych testing. I can't believe this dumb lady only looks at mood disorders but still somehow manages to make her test 3 hours long. You've got to be kidding me. 3 hour test and you don't even look at other basic things like anxiety, etc.?

[Unrigged64072835]

Had trauma T today. Told her about staying in the house for another year. She said we'll do EMDR on some of the abuse so I can "reframe" my feelings. I can only put so much lipstick on this pig, and the lips are really red now. And my husband's brain fog and exhaustion from lack of sleep and med side effects isn't helping.

Plus she mentioned going gluten-free and sugar-free. The latter I can understand, but the former makes me want to eat a lot of whole-wheat spaghetti--I'm doing that tonight because I want comfort food.

I'm very depressed about all this.

[Blueberrybook]

Had an OK day today. I was tired this morning, and I napped a bit; I'd had a low-grade fever at the doctor's office yesterday, so maybe I was fighting off something. After lunch, I loaded 14 boxes of books in the car to donate to the library. OMG, was that tiring. They were a bit larger than standard boxes reams of paper come in. I still have a few books to re-filter through, but the bulk of the book work in my office is done. Next, I have clothing and lots of junk to sort through plus getting my daughter to downsize the toys she has in there. She is outgrowing most of her toys (rarely plays with toys any more), but she doesn't want to part with them yet.

I had a great breakthrough with my daughter yesterday and today. I finally got her to wear a paif of shorts yesterday and a skirt today. She has long complained about clothing around her waist/hips being too tight (she has lots of sensory issues). She has refused to wear anything but dresses for years (probably since she was 2 years old, and she's 10 now). Worse, she is tall for her age, so a lot of dresses that fit her otherwise are not appropriate to wear out in public, especially if she lifts one or both of her arms. I hope she will keep at it because by the 6th grade, she will have to wear shorts for the P.E. uniform.

I just got home from taking my daughter to get her new glasses. Her eyes changed only slightly, but it was the difference between her reading the eye chart with a question mark in her voice after each letter or reading it with confidence. I have bad eyes, and my refusal to admit it to my parents affected some of my grades in elementary school, especially when the teacher wrote on the board or showed a film or slides. My husband and I decided to upgrade her glasses so she wouldn't be struggling to make out things clearly.

I'm exhausted and still have to cook dinner. Loading 14 large boxes of books in the car and then unloading them one at a time is hard work, especially since I lost a lot of upper arm strength after ulcer surgery. I really need to start lifting weights again. It definitely didn't help that it is hot & humid outside too.

Sorry for everyone struggling. My mood's been pretty good today, not as moody as yesterday, thank goodness. Can't wait to have dinner done and relax with a good book

[pirilin]

I'm baaack!!!.

[giddykitty]

^gluten free isnt so so bad. Well, as a lifestyle I mean. Celiac probably sucks.

Edit: I got a page off

I don't think I even need the trazadone tonight. Zonk! I'm soo tired!

Mood has been ok, not anything unusual, except last night I was kindof furious. PMs? Um, guess I had it today too, but was more just joking, if that makes sense. Some lady was waiting for our parking spot, but she was waving us down to hurry up. Mom is too nice and she moved the car. I told her I'd make that lady wait and or maybe move on. Rude! Or am I too mean? I kinda laughed at how pissed I was getting. Silly people who think they're priveledged and get to have parking spots sooner than others. Learn some freaking patience! Lol

[Pookyl]

Feeling middle of the road and slightly upbeat.
I’m putting on weight but I must say my head feels ‘normal’.
No SI since end Nov (even when depressed) - yay!

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

My blood level is 1.11 so I can't go higher than I am now I'm hoping it will start working soon.


I wish I could go back on Lamictal - it was great. I was on it for 4 years but it caused a really bad reaction with my liver so my doctor stopped it and that's how I ended up on Lithium.

Gotcha. I’ll keep my fingers crossed. Good luck.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

My blood level is 1.11 so I can't go higher than I am now I'm hoping it will start working soon.

I wish I could go back on Lamictal - it was great. I was on it for 4 years but it caused a really bad reaction with my liver so my doctor stopped it and that's how I ended up on Lithium.

How’s your fluid intake?

Sleeping a lot.

[bpforever1]

I slept most of the day. I am tired as usual. I need to prepare for a class tomorrow night. I am lethargic and have no energy. Of course, I did not drink coffee today which is probably the reason I am so tired. I took my medication. It is so hot and humid here. I'm melting inside.

I am meant to be seeing my mental health worker today.

so she let me know this morning at 9 58 she was coming this afternoon at 1 (you know, as usual, giving me plenty of time to process)

ah well, got a few hours to chill anyway. I'm not going to make much of an effert to look like cinderella, I'm not in the mood. I've had breakfast and I have clean clothes on, that will do..

I'm a little frajile too, only because of a comment I got by email about my trauma "not being important", and really?
I don't want to see anyone

but... I have too I suppose. I mean what's better. locking yourself away and isolating, or trying to keep appointments?

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

How’s your fluid intake?

Not good....I'm not getting enough because I'm used to the side effect of dry mouth after years on meds. I am trying to improve that though.

Is this stability????????!!!!!
I slept 9 hours, which is good compared to the ~12 I have been so I must be getting used to clozaril. I had a REALLY good day at work yesterday, like it was the best day I've had at work ever! My library just started using this thing called Freegal where I can listen to music and download a few songs a week for free, and I'm listening to it right now and it's awesome, I'm listening to Float On right now and I LOVE Modest Mouse. I've been obsessed for a few months now. I haven't even been super hungry anymore. I just hope I can keep some weight off.
Just remember guys, We'll all float on. Don't you worry we'll all float on, alright.

had a good visit with the mental health worker.

stayed calm and collective

now I am anxious because I'm meant to have peperoni pizza for dinner with garlic bread, and I can't find the right type of garlic bread.

shop near me sold out, so I can't eat pizza without the right garlic bread

[pirilin]

I'm doing so good I'll burst one of these precious days.

[Miss Laura]

Feeling great been like this for about 4 days. The sun is shining the weather is great the temperatures high and we had a bbq tonight. I feel a zillion times better than I have been. Thankfully the mild depression lasted just 2 weeks. Went to a strawberry farm today for lunch didn't pick strawberries though. Then had a bbq. 1st of the year. Was good. Feel despite not sleeping well and still waking up panicy I'm doing good

[Wild Coyote]

Another nice day today!

A little sleepy. Had stayed out late to see another concert. Local band, playing in a huge outdoor park. Lots of people. No PTSD reaction to the whole scene, which is amazing!

Med changes have been very helpful, so far.

Love to All!


WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Feeling better today. The grumpiness has passed for the time being.

Contractors are coming out Friday and Monday to give estimates for the master bath and ceiling repairs, respectively. At least the master bath estimate will be good for a year so we can start saving money for it. The ceiling I hope we can repair in September. Will know more soon. I'm not doing the cracked window estimate until next year. Those are the three big things we can't repair. We'll take the divider between the sunroom and living room down the closer we get to leaving. I feel I'll have to be more proactive about things from now on, as my husband will probably be sick for a long time.

Looking forward to heading out tomorrow with the kids. IHOP, a computer store, and IKEA for furniture shopping. Busy day and we'll be tired I'm sure. I told them we'll pick up their chairs and then hang out in the cafe until they're done. The boys haven't looked at anything ahead of time, so we're leaving that to my daughter. LOL

Pretty good mood now. Off to feed the cats.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm mad my husband wont take my son to see his friends. They get together weekly and play a game then go to starbucks. He only sees them once a week and you seriously can't drive the 10 min. to drop him off. Oh and now he's sleeping. I'm getting more and more hatred for him. I'm trying to be calm and let things go. I wish I could drive because I would drop him off. I mean it's not like he's off with his friends all the time. He barely has any. Oh we got a note saying they're inspecting our house tomorrow and our house is a disaster. Honestly I don't see us getting it cleaned in time.

Besides that I'm pretty happy the spikes of complete anxiety are getting to me. Hopefully it goes away fast but they're getting longer. Maybe I'll just get use to it.

Being very late taking my evening medications last night has made me ill. I haven't left my bed since other than to eat or go to the bathroom. I've had a headache with it the whole time. My mood is quite low. All I can think about is how my country is going to hell.

[Scooter9]

I updated my avatar pic and added an explanation in my signature - I have been wanting to do this for a couple of weeks and am glad I got to it. I have thousands of photos so it was difficult to find the original to resize it for the avatar pic here, but I did it

My mood continues to be on the low side but I'm coping...hanging on.