[Tucson]

I am here. My depression has been getting the best of me again. I have been wanting to get outside and exercise, but hours later now, I still find myself on my sofa listening to the news. I hope I get something done today.

[VerMOZZica]

I went to see the psych nurse today and got some of my meds refilled. Went to the post office then to the bank. Then went and got something to eat. Got home and cleaned my bedroom. Now I`m here on the PC forums and listening to David Bowie.

[wildflowerchild25]

Ugh. Remember when I said I hope unemployment doesn’t ask for the money back? That’s exactly what they did. They think I was working full time until the end of the school year even though I explained that was not the case. If I was why was my insurance cut off at the end of May? Riddle me THAT. ****ing government. Can’t get anything right. I got a letter saying I was approved to start getting payments July 9 but WE WILL JUST SEE ABOUT THAT.

Been in a low mood yesterday and today. Spent most of the day in bed both days. My boyfriend came over today but when he left at noon I just stayed in bed until 4:50pm when I had to go get my son from summer camp. It could be because my wedding anniversary was Monday. We would have been married seven years. I’ve been missing my husband more rather than being enraged by him. I don’t know if it’s because I have a new boyfriend now or what. But sometimes I just wish he were still here. I really like my boyfriend and could even see myself loving him in the future but still, he will never be a father to my son. My son is too old to have someone swoop in and be a father. I wish my son didn’t have to grow up fatherless like I did.

Sigh. I hope my mood picks up. I’m sure it will. My son might be sick yet again. If he has strep again I’m gonna have to take him to an ENT. This will be the third time in three weeks. An ongoing case. I’m supposed to have a bbq on Saturday but I can’t take him if he’s sick. I will be very disappointed if I can’t go.

I better fill my scripts tomorrow. I will run out of lamictal on Saturday. I keep forgetting to do it. I’m really going to try to remember tomorrow.

[Victoria'smom]

My sister was going to come over for dinner. My son had a melt down because one of the people coming are sick (with a fungal infection so he can't really catch it). I had to cancel. I'm pretty sure part of it was he didn't see his friends on schedule. He has more melt downs when scheduled things don't happen. It was really, really bad meltdown though (as in length). I wish he had a PRN. It took him probably an couple of hours to calm down. This is after we had to research the illness and it's contagion period. Even though I was trying to calm him down he really couldn't hear me. His dad had to take over. There's progress as he did not hurt himself. We have dinner planed for tomorrow with my sister.

I've become less angry at my husband but still think he was an *** today. Now it's midnight and we're just now sitting down for dinner (thanks melt down)

[Sunflower123]

Medication is hanging in there. Doing ok.

I’ve really enjoyed having my daughter home from college. Three more weeks then she heads back.

Sending hugs to all those that need them.

Turns out that bipolar disorder is an effective icebreaker at parties.

Everyone be careful what they tell themselves out there.

I am okay.

had some anxiety yesterday (which I guess is still lingering a little), but, the good thing about today is that I was able to fix my bracelet!. I can't believe it!

it's less muggy today too.

still very hot but better able to cope

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by raging vortex

I was able to fix my bracelet!. I can't believe it!

Good for you! You did it!

[Blueberrybook]

I'm very tired this morning and slept in. I'm trying to get up the energy for a walk before it gets a million degrees outside. It's already super humid. It's humid here most of the time, and the weather channel shows a high pollen count too. Lovely. My period started which doesn't help the fatigue, and I can't take NSAIDs any more, just Tyelnol, which doesn't help much. If my allergies get unbearable, I'll have to take a Claritin or something. I just have seasonal allergies, but they are annoying enough.

My daughter had insomnia AGAIN and woke up at 2:30 AM and wasn't able to go back to sleep. Luckily, I gave her a rule that if she gets insomnia, she is to set a timer & read or play for 30 minutes, then try to sleep for 30 minutes, and if she still can't sleep & thinks she's awake, she can stay up, but she can't bother my husband or me if we are sleeping unless she is having an emergency or is sick like throwing up. Before that, she would bother me all the time in the night, and I would never get good sleep. I think she may have heard hubby getting ready for bed in the hall bathroom (it's much bigger than our master bathroom; when our house was built in the 1960s, master bathrooms were pretty much unheard of, and I do wonder if it was later added to the house during a remodel, as we bought the home in the early fall of 2004). The hall bathroom is right across the hall from my daughter's bedroom. It seems she is turning out to be a light sleeper most of the time (like me). Hopefully, it won't signal a propensity toward mental illness though I am told my light sleep & insomnia could have been early symptoms of bipolar. But my daughter seems fine otherwise, if you don't count her many sensory issues, and I do know she was not affected by sexual abuse (never left long enough with anybody for that to happen except teachers at school, all female, not that being female dismisses sexual abuse, but she has always been in a class, with other students, even when practicing for things like math competitions, almost never alone unless sick at the nurse's office, right next door to the main office). And she hasn't had to put up with a yelling, indifferent father who spanked all the time. I don't think hubby has ever spanked her once, and I only did one time when she was really mishandling and hurting our cat. My husband dotes on her, and gives into her more than he should. I unfortunately am the one who sometimes yells at her and has to get her to do things such as homework (which she often feels is pointless because she understood the concept in school when the teacher taught it, or even knew it before then), take a bath, go to bed on time for school. She makes a game with me out of NOT doing these things on time, which she knows pushes all my buttons.

Well, I got a new Ritalin Rx yesterday that I have to pick up at the pharmacy. It's one of those two-in-one LA pills. Now I only have to take one pill in the morning that lasts all day instead of taking one at 8am and another at 12pm. Makes things more convenient, yeah?

I also have my interview today. I'm scared I'm going to fail. In fact, I KNOW I'm going to fail. I'm not being a Negative Nancy or a Debbie Downer (lol), but I've now realized that I didn't prepare well enough for some of the material I'm expected to know during the interview. Yikes...

Oh well. I was having second thoughts on the job anyways, even though the location was negotiated back to California. I'm just not ready to leave my support system, because it takes a lot of time and effort to build it back up again. I have too much going on right now that I feel I'm not prepared to do that. I had started the interview process before my grandma was put in hospice, etc.. I'd rather be with her in her last days than move to CA and have some stupid job that I'm 50-50 about.

So hard for me. I'm not on medication at all. I almost forgot what happened to me with ICU..I almost bought a beer.

I've been having panic attacks left right and centre. So down today. I used to think it was cool to have bipolar. Now I know that it's really serious if gone to far with out proper care and medication. I've developed a phobia for taking any medication for it. I just need to cry a little more, but I don't want the crying to trigger a hypo mania episode...or what ever it's called.

Originally Posted by 2ISAB

So hard for me. I'm not on medication at all. I almost forgot what happened to me with ICU..I almost bought a beer.

I've been having panic attacks left right and centre. So down today. I used to think it was cool to have bipolar. Now I know that it's really serious if gone to far with out proper care and medication. I've developed a phobia for taking any medication for it. I just need to cry a little more, but I don't want the crying to trigger a hypo mania episode...or what ever it's called.

hope you start feeling better

(((((hugs))))

[Victoria'smom]

I just took an ambien and a 10 MG Zyprexa. I feel like a failure but I need sleep and this intense anxiety to go away. I'm such a **** up.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I just took an ambien and a 10 MG Zyprexa. I feel like a failure but I need sleep and this intense anxiety to go away. I'm such a **** up.

Why are you a f*** up and a failure? Everyone has their struggles and no one is perfect. Sometimes we need to give ourselves a break. It sounds like you're dealing with a lot of family things right now (based on your recent posts), and it's ok to feel angry and stressed out about it. It's only natural to react that way.

I hope you're not forcing yourself to sleep it off with all that zyprexa and Ambien. But if you need to sleep, you need to sleep.

[zijax]

I lost my wallet at Wal-Mart this morning. Customer Service didn't have it. The cashier didn't have it. I was headed to the bank to cancel everything. It was pouring down rain. I walked out of the garden center. I looked down by a purple crocus and there it was. License, credit card all in tact.

Two weeks ago I lost it at Home Depot. My business cards were inside. A lady called and told me she had it at her home. Her accent was broken English. She gave me the address. She lived in an old trailer in a bad part of town. She handed it to me through the window. I gave her a twenty but she nodded her head no.

I wish my Pdoc would give me Adderall. I have ADD but he won't give it to me. I don't know why.

Originally Posted by zijax

I lost my wallet at Wal-Mart this morning. Customer Service didn't have it. The cashier didn't have it. I was headed to the bank to cancel everything. It was pouring down rain. I walked out of the garden center. I looked down by a purple crocus and there it was. License, credit card all in tact.

Two weeks ago I lost it at Home Depot. My business cards were inside. A lady called and told me she had it at her home. Her accent was broken English. She gave me the address. She lived in an old trailer in a bad part of town. She handed it to me through the window. I gave her a twenty but she nodded her head no.

I wish my Pdoc would give me Adderall. I have ADD but he won't give it to me. I don't know why.

I know you're probably gonna hate me for this,, but it's just an inconvenience. I don't think meds are going to get you through it faster.

When something like that happens to me, I do it....how do I say this....better, more organized and a 'backup' solution.

Hypothetical thinking isn't really hypothetical ..

Going back to you, that's one heck of a day

I'm f**ked up. Why can't I just die?

[Unrigged64072835]

Been back from the road trip for a bit. Breakfast was fun. A lot of good food and we had a sarcastic waitress.

At IKEA, the one thing we were going to buy for the kids--the chairs--were out of stock. The other store only had one chair! I managed to get online at lunch and ordered them. They'll be here before they move out so that's good. My daughter got everything on her list. Don't know if the boys got anything--someone got a desk chair, but don't know who. We went to the computer store last. Good thing as my daughter exploded at their friend for not getting a full case for his desktop. That was a requirement for him because she's bringing her cat, and cats and computer parts don't mix, especially when the parts are powered. We all got everything home but traffic was horrific--lots of semis and people acting stupid. I've finally calmed down but my husband is taking a nap and I don't know if he'll wake up in time to get dinner. I'll have to take my vitamins with a snack, I guess.

Kids went off to the pool because it's freaking hot and humid. I'm just glad to be in the AC.

I'm tired but okay.

Hugs to those that want them, and love to those who are struggling.

I feel much better today than yesterday now that I'm back on track with my medications (I forgot a dose yesterday).

I managed to get my butt to the hair salon. At first my stylist noted that I wasn't my usual upbeat self, but by the end of the appointment I was. I decided to go out to lunch to treat myself, but the lunch sucked. Every part of it! I told the restaurant manager that their wonton soup was the worst I've ever tasted. They asked me to describe why, and I did. I also said the main course had absolutely no flavor. I told them that I understand they try to cater to American tastes, but their food assumes Americans like blander food than they do.

I lived in Taiwan and traveled throughout China. I don't expect authentic cuisine, but at least a semblance of it.

[Blueberrybook]

I had a busy day today. I went for a walk this morning that practically gave me heatstroke, it was so hot. Had the normal chores, made laundry, went grocery shopping. I had to buy some different things for hubby to cook for him & my daughter because tomorrow I'm leaving with my youngest sister to drive to Plano, TX to stay with my middle sister (roughly a 6 hour drive from the Houston area). We're going to stay the weekend. Since growing up, we've started to have a Sisters' Day each year, no husbands or kids, though when my sister in Plano hosts it, it is usually more than one day because of the drive. I'm looking forward to a bit of a getaway.


After shopping, I prepped all the raw veggies for my husband, wrapped my sister's birthday gift (my sister in Plano has her birthday on June 29), and packed most of my stuff except some last minute things like electronics and accessories.

I am exhausted! And I still have the neighborhood book club this evening.

[Miss Laura]

Managed to get round to filing paperwork away in my flat. Haven't done this since Aug last year ooops.

Eventually did dishes I have been neglecting my flat big style

Went to my parents house to sit outside as they have a patio and it's a scorcher of a day here.

This is me at my parents house until end of July. I'm looking after my Mum while my Dad works his notice of retirement.

[Pookyl]

Good morning all! (Fri) No Seroquel hangover which is unusual.
Not a cloud in the sky. Gotta love a sunny mild winters day.

[Scooter9]

Another feeling low day today.

I stayed busy though and treated myself to an expensive coffee at Starbucks (lots of sugar and lots of espresso).

I have a strange feeling I missed a pdoc appointment. I have no idea why I would have had one since I saw her three weeks ago and we see eachother every 2-3 months.

I got some sleep finally, no meds or drugs, but..why do I feel hungover?! I think I function better on less sleep.
Regardless of how I feel, I'm motivated but it's too cold to take a shower.......breakthrough: placing heater in cold bathroom. Got to leave soon.