[BeyondtheRainbow]

I know it's a pain but it did seem to help you and you aren't on ADs that you'd have to taper off which is a good thing. But going up on lamictal certainly makes sense. It's good to have options.

[bizi]

I had 19 days AF(alcohol free) in may so pretty proud about that.
Going on vacation in less than 2 weeks. I know that I will be drinking then but will try to keep it under control.

6-1-AF
6-2-AF 21st day, 3 weeks
6-3-AF 4 miles on tred mill 80 minutes

bizi

Has it occurred to anyone else that the Sixth Extinction and the Fourth Industrial Revolution are playing out simultaneously?

[scatterbrained04]

Woke up shaking like crazy from trileptal withdrawal this morning. So happy I can now start taking it again this morning, but at a lower dose. Never been so happy to pop a trileptal pill lol. Hoping the shakes stop soon.

In 3 weeks from Wednesday, I will be having a consultation for the re-evaluation of my psych issues. My therapist thinks possible schizoaffective instead of BP (not that it makes a substantial difference, but it helps with insurance). Don't know. But they also want to assess my progress, with therapy and medication, to see what symptoms are triggering my issues and what we can do better to treat those symptoms, because therapy sessions only last 35 mins and there's only so much you can do in 35 mins every week. Plus, the eval is free with my insurance, while therapy is a $20 copay, so why not?

I'm just nervous about it because I feel like I've gotten worse. I never used to see the things I now see, or hear the things I now hear. Those hallucinations were, back then, not nearly as bad as they are now. I also never used to get bad delusions, yet here I am, occasionally thinking I need to flee and hide somewhere because someone is out to murder me or "I need to get back to my planet by finding and flying a spaceship to get out of this alternate universe."

Thankfully, rexulti has helped a lot in suppressing those symptoms, but it's not perfect. Then again, is any med perfect?

[bizi]

Good luck blue, I am sorry that your symptoms are getting worse. How is the new job interviewing process going?
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

In 3 weeks from Wednesday, I will be having a consultation for the re-evaluation of my psych issues. My therapist thinks possible schizoaffective instead of BP (not that it makes a substantial difference, but it helps with insurance). Don't know. But they also want to assess my progress, with therapy and medication, to see what symptoms are triggering my issues and what we can do better to treat those symptoms, because therapy sessions only last 35 mins and there's only so much you can do in 35 mins every week. Plus, the eval is free with my insurance, while therapy is a $20 copay, so why not?

I'm just nervous about it because I feel like I've gotten worse. I never used to see the things I now see, or hear the things I now hear. Those hallucinations were, back then, not nearly as bad as they are now. I also never used to get bad delusions, yet here I am, occasionally thinking I need to flee and hide somewhere because someone is out to murder me or "I need to get back to my planet by finding and flying a spaceship to get out of this alternate universe."

Thankfully, rexulti has helped a lot in suppressing those symptoms, but it's not perfect. Then again, is any med perfect?

(((((( bluebicycle ))))))

[Cocosurviving]

I really miss my old pdoc. I had him for three years. He left the agency and I had a lady then she was just a fill in. Then I was assigned to a religious nut. I spoke with the assistant director about changing my pdoc to someone that does not bring up religion. She said no problem to call her when I wanted to schedule an appt. I called her the Friday before Memorial Day. A whole week went by and I did not hear from her. I e-mailed my case manager about it. He e-mailed me back today and said he was retiring in a week. I called the agency and asked to speak to the director. I reached her voicemail and left her a message. She called me back. I told her I was not able to make an appt because right now I’m still assigned to the religious lady. That Mrs. T said to call her and she would go in the system to change it. The director asked if I was out of meds. I told her no. I told Mrs. T on her voicemail that I needed some PRNs. Does Mrs. T know what PRNs are I asked? The director said yes. I have an appt for today at 3 PM. I hope I like this new pdoc.

[bizi]

hi coco, I hope you like your new pdoc!
bizi

so agitated!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by spikes

so agitated!

I am sorry you are agitated, what helps get out of this funk?
bizi

[Daonnachd]

Yesterday we drove 3 hours to attend the secondary school graduation of one of my sons' friends. After a 90 minute programme we drove the 3 hours home to be at the awards ceremony of my boys' school. My sons each received multiple awards of various sorts, primarily for academics and character. I'm very proud. At the same time, it went late so I'm very tired. All this with my MIL coming today on my day off to help me clean the house for my older son's graduation party which happens this Sunday. I'd much rather work at my own pace and without conversation.

[giddykitty]

I have mixed feelings about my last pdoc visit. Well, one positive thing, I got a new med to try for anxiety (Its a familiar name but I can't recall it right now). I'll keep an eye on my anxiety, but I seem to be coping at the moment.

Sleep stuff. She insisted I try the prescribed Trazadone and reassured me not to be anxious. We also hashed out some of my anxieties. Anyway, so I tried that for a few nights. I'm sleeping better. And funny that I'm no more drowsy than I usually am (because of the poor sleep or trying to catch up whatnots). So that's a plus!

The mixed thing is that when I talked about my depression I kinda also said my doubts about bipolar. She's not so sure about it now either. I can't ever forget how I felt when I mixed the ADHD med with the AD though. Is THAT hypomania? Is that what folks frequently go through?! It was miserable! Well, guess i felt pretty confident in myself, but still...oh But the comedown was pleasant (euphoric). I dunno! I've had those euphoric feelings since going off those meds and taking mood stabilizers, but not as much. More down or normal to low normal. I'm just very unsettled not knowing.

What else? I didn't mention or think to mention, how reading is becoming difficult for me. Like focus and stuff.

Speaking of lack of focus, I did try to get back on Zoloft. I liked it for the moods, she was looking for an anti anxiety med. I'm not back on it. I kinda want to be, but I'm now worried about memory loss that someone here mentioned with Ads. Just because my paternal grandmother had dementia and my mom takes antidepressants and I swear they've affected her memory. If I do have simply major depression and this is the fix, is it worth it? Sigh

But I'm getting ahead of myself. How do I feel today?? PMs stomach ache and cramps. Nuff said. Lol

[WildcatVet]

Also coming out of a very long and severe depression. Today is looking a little brighter...showered, watered my plants, little things like that...but I feel like I've accomplished something! Hoping tomorrow will be even better...seeing my therapist so I can unload a little about the probs I'm having with my PN.

[Unrigged64072835]

Hooray, I survived the dentist. Despite eating excessive amounts of chocolate (and the associated weight gain) I have no cavities and very little tartar. They also had a mouth rinse to numb the whole mouth, so that was a plus. However, I needed to really rinse my mouth out after that because it and the fluoride treatment taste terrible.

Still have to pick up one med and order another one. Have to remember that.

Kids are doing good. Daughter's interview with ALDI went okay. She's waiting for a second interview. Mutual friend has an interview with a cable company as a technician. Sounds better than his fast-food job. Daughter was boxing up her books and stuff. It seems unreal that she's leaving, and yet there's some relief as well. I'm sure I'll miss them--they've been her friends since 5th grade.

Still a bit depressed. House prices are going up. While that'll be good as a seller, not so much as a buyer. I just hope we have the money to fix this place well enough to get rid of it next year. We also have to pay off debts so we don't a high debt ratio. And the whole SSA thing may throw a wrench in the works.

I'll get through it, though. This won't last forever. I have to be patient and that's not one of my greatest virtues.

[Faltering]

I'm feeling better overall. Today I found out my caseload at work this year exceeded the state maximum. No wonder why I was struggling. I'm proud of myself for somehow making it through despite my illness, even though I did rely on a little help from co-workers. I'm now doing my last full week at work before summer break. It's going pretty well, just tons of paperwork left to process and some testing left to do. I can't wait to be done.

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by Cocosurviving

I really miss my old pdoc. I had him for three years. He left the agency and I had a lady then she was just a fill in. Then I was assigned to a religious nut. I spoke with the assistant director about changing my pdoc to someone that does not bring up religion. She said no problem to call her when I wanted to schedule an appt. I called her the Friday before Memorial Day. A whole week went by and I did not hear from her. I e-mailed my case manager about it. He e-mailed me back today and said he was retiring in a week. I called the agency and asked to speak to the director. I reached her voicemail and left her a message. She called me back. I told her I was not able to make an appt because right now I’m still assigned to the religious lady. That Mrs. T said to call her and she would go in the system to change it. The director asked if I was out of meds. I told her no. I told Mrs. T on her voicemail that I needed some PRNs. Does Mrs. T know what PRNs are I asked? The director said yes. I have an appt for today at 3 PM. I hope I like this new pdoc.

I hope you find a new pdoc that you like. That sounds so stressful. Hugs.

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by WildcatVet

Also coming out of a very long and severe depression. Today is looking a little brighter...showered, watered my plants, little things like that...but I feel like I've accomplished something! Hoping tomorrow will be even better...seeing my therapist so I can unload a little about the probs I'm having with my PN.

I’m glad that today seemed a little brighter. Showering and watering your plants are huge accomplishments when dealing with severe depression. Good for you!

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Hooray, I survived the dentist. Despite eating excessive amounts of chocolate (and the associated weight gain) I have no cavities and very little tartar. They also had a mouth rinse to numb the whole mouth, so that was a plus. However, I needed to really rinse my mouth out after that because it and the fluoride treatment taste terrible.


Still have to pick up one med and order another one. Have to remember that.


Kids are doing good. Daughter's interview with ALDI went okay. She's waiting for a second interview. Mutual friend has an interview with a cable company as a technician. Sounds better than his fast-food job. Daughter was boxing up her books and stuff. It seems unreal that she's leaving, and yet there's some relief as well. I'm sure I'll miss them--they've been her friends since 5th grade.


Still a bit depressed. House prices are going up. While that'll be good as a seller, not so much as a buyer. I just hope we have the money to fix this place well enough to get rid of it next year. We also have to pay off debts so we don't a high debt ratio. And the whole SSA thing may throw a wrench in the works.


I'll get through it, though. This won't last forever. I have to be patient and that's not one of my greatest virtues.

Hugs! You will get through it but it’s hard during those times. We are all here if you need us!

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by Faltering

I'm feeling better overall. Today I found out my caseload at work this year exceeded the state maximum. No wonder why I was struggling. I'm proud of myself for somehow making it through despite my illness, even though I did rely on a little help from co-workers. I'm now doing my last full week at work before summer break. It's going pretty well, just tons of paperwork left to process and some testing left to do. I can't wait to be done.

That’s amazing! You should be so proud of accomplishing that with this illness. It’s not easy to do!

[GoldenSnitch]

I had a decent day today. Pdoc that I see outside of the hospital diagnosed me as bipolar with bpd tendencies. Pdoc in the hospital is leaning towards bpd. I’m not sure why. He hasn’t sat and asked me questions or anything like my regular pdoc. He had me do some personality assessment so we are just waiting on the results of that now. Still no plan for getting me discharged yet

[scatterbrained04]

It's been a rough day. Took several hours to get rid of the shakes. Had bad anxiety too. Horrible restless feeling where no where felt like a comfortable place to be. Not sure that last part makes sense? Anyhoo, ended up deciding to work from home today because I felt so awful. Also saw pdoc today. Increasing Latuda to 60mg. Have to have more bloodwork in a few weeks and see him again in a month.

we don't know if my grandma is going to make it through the night tonight. can barely breathe on her own. the hospital is doing what they can. hooked her up to oxygen and giving her the max oxygen possible. inserted a stent in her neck... my dad broke down in tears when he saw her. I couldn't understand him over the phone because he was crying so much, so I just told him not to worry about me and I said he can call me back whenever he needs to

[wildflowerchild25]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

we don't know if my grandma is going to make it through the night tonight. can barely breathe on her own. the hospital is doing what they can. hooked her up to oxygen and giving her the max oxygen possible. inserted a stent in her neck... my dad broke down in tears when he saw her. I couldn't understand him over the phone because he was crying so much, so I just told him not to worry about me and I said he can call me back whenever he needs to

I’m so sorry blue.

[bizi]

I am sorry blue this is so hard on your dad.
With her dementia he has probably been grieving for some time now. But the reality f the now is very difficult for him.
((((HUGS))))
to you

bizi