[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

we don't know if my grandma is going to make it through the night tonight. can barely breathe on her own. the hospital is doing what they can. hooked her up to oxygen and giving her the max oxygen possible. inserted a stent in her neck... my dad broke down in tears when he saw her. I couldn't understand him over the phone because he was crying so much, so I just told him not to worry about me and I said he can call me back whenever he needs to

I’m so sorry blue

[Cocosurviving]

My day was fine. Met my new pdoc and he’s very funny. Me and my youngest daughter went to lunch before the appt. Afterwards we picked up a few of my prescriptions. Then did a little grocery shopping. My anxiety has been low. I talked to my oldest daughter. Her job is giving her trouble about work accommodations. I told her to only communicate with them by e-mail. She has e-mails going back to March. If they fire her she can use those e-mails to get her unemployment. That’s exactly what I did and I won.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

we don't know if my grandma is going to make it through the night tonight. can barely breathe on her own. the hospital is doing what they can. hooked her up to oxygen and giving her the max oxygen possible. inserted a stent in her neck... my dad broke down in tears when he saw her. I couldn't understand him over the phone because he was crying so much, so I just told him not to worry about me and I said he can call me back whenever he needs to

Oh Dear! How sad. Thinking of you and yours, Blue.



WC

[gina_re]

Yesterday I couldn't get myself out of bed. I had to go to work and just couldn't do it. It wasn't like I was tired, I just couldn't move. I finally got myself up to turn on the shower, but I couldn't get in. I had to call out, and I don't know why. Today I was actually tired and struggled to get up, but I made it in. Now I'm home preparing for this phone interview tomorrow morning. I really need this job.

I also have caught onto the fact that I don't need my Restoril like I needed in the past. Meaning I dont have to take it every night to fall aslepp. And when I don't take it, I wake up refreshed instead of groggy the next moring. I think this is agood sign and I'm hopeful.

[wildflowerchild25]

I really am back on the roller coaster except no hypomania I vascillate between super depressed and feeling ok and/or baseline for the last few days. I don’t know how I feel at the end of the day because my mood was all over during the day.

Today I was depressed in the AM. I forced myself to go grocery shopping after group because I needed a few snacks. I came home and fell into bed and slept for three hours. Then I went to pick up my son but I felt a little better. Then I considered not making dinner but I had bought marinated chicken and only had to put it in the oven, plus I had instant quinoa and microwave veggies. So I did make dinner for the first time ina couple of weeks. I felt very accomplished about that. I’m hoping to make sloppy Joe’s on Wednesday so I can clock in two dinner this week.

I dunno. Still feeling very unmotivated. I have to apply for more jobs. I don’t want to but I’ll never get a job if I don’t apply everywhere. I hope to get another interview somewhere. Anywhere.

Anyway, still plugging along.

[bpforever1]

I went to work and ate out. I am tired but had a good time. It is time to rest now. My mother is acting like a witch screaming at me on the phone when I call. I have to admit I call many times because I'm worried about her but she treats me like dirt. I don't know if she will be ok because she is seeing the doctor in another week. It will be two weeks after she hit her head on the floor. I am hoping all is well with her. I feel sad about her situation. I can't do anything so I will just mind my business and persevere. Life is not too bad for me. I enjoy the little things in life and am grateful for all that I have which is not much but allows me to be comfortable. I take my medication daily. I am getting fat from eating too much but will try to exercise more when possible. I walk a lot and don't have a car. I enjoyed my walk today near the water and over the bridges. I hope those who are suffering to have hope that one day life will be better and be happy about their situation. I am having a hard time with my parents but am far removed from them. I did the right thing by living in another country far, far away from them. They are toxic and are becoming really old. I hope they enjoy the rest of their lives some how, instead of working until they drop dead. However, this is their choice. I worry about them but worry won't help them. I will just mind my business and do my own thing.

[bizi]

WE have to protect ourselves from toxic people...you are doing the right thing. IMO
bizi

[Tucson]

I am here. I am a bit concerned about myself right now. I went to a neurologist for some big problems that I am having related to both my long term and short term memory. He thinks they may be “brain spasms” which are actually cerebral vasospasms. This is where blood vessels begin to close up restricting blood flow in the brain. I can see where this can cause small strokes. I think these are referred to as TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack). I think these mini strokes can explain much of my current memory problems. This can also lead to vascular dementia. Not good at all. So actually I am very concerned. I do not want anyone to operate on my brain. I need it. One OOPS by the doctor can do me in. There is still a chance allot of this is my medication.

PS At least the doctor’s test for dementia showed I am still OK. However, there was one time I had trouble with it.

[Pookyl]

Slowly settling into post discharge life. It’s a bit harder this time for some reason.

[GoldenSnitch]

Originally Posted by Tucson

I am here. I am a bit concerned about myself right now. I went to a neurologist for some big problems that I am having related to both my long term and short term memory. He thinks they may be “brain spasms” which are actually cerebral vasospasms. This is where blood vessels begin to close up restricting blood flow in the brain. I can see where this can cause small strokes. I think these are referred to as TIA (Transient Ischemic Attack). I think these mini strokes can explain much of my current memory problems. This can also lead to vascular dementia. Not good at all. So actually I am very concerned. I do not want anyone to operate on my brain. I need it. One OOPS by the doctor can do me in. There is still a chance allot of this is my medication.


PS At least the doctor’s test for dementia showed I am still OK. However, there was one time I had trouble with it.

That sounds so scary. A few years ago both of my brothers had brain surgery. I was terrified for them both but the surgeries went well and they are both doing so much better now. I know that might not ease your mind but brain surgery was the right choice for them.

[Blueberrybook]

I woke up at 3 AM and went for a 2 mile walk around 5 AM. I got a bit tired and off-balance (I think sometimes the Lamictal affects my balance), so I came back in. I am drinking a cup of coffee now, but I think I will lie down afterwards. I only got about 4 hours of sleep last night.

Tucson, I hope your neurologist finds a good treatment for you.

Pookyl, I'm glad you're home and starting to adjust.

cln1812, I bet you heard the sweet sounds of morning bird song this morning. I hope. That is the main pleasure I get when I'm awake at that time.

Hubby and I voted in primary elections in my state. I've heard that a number of states have them today.

I'm taking some time off work and doing a PHP until I get myself sorted out. They're even going to have someone pick me up. I already talked to the doc and he's putting me back on clozaril with some fool-proofing to make sure I can get my prescriptions on time. Got the bloodwork done this morning. I feel like crap.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by spikes

I'm taking some time off work and doing a PHP until I get myself sorted out. They're even going to have someone pick me up. I already talked to the doc and he's putting me back on clozaril with some fool-proofing to make sure I can get my prescriptions on time. Got the bloodwork done this morning. I feel like crap.

spikes, I am sorry you feel like crap this morning.
(((((HUGS))))
bizi

[Lifeischallenging]

So I've been having a good week. Thank god my disorder is under control. I just tried to initiate a payment for my leased phone account and it declined my card. I'm hoping this isn't a regular thing for me. Work tonight. That should be fun. I've accepted the idea that its ok to live at home still after your 20s. I still have a hard time accepting people as friends though. I've been talking with my pdoc and he has been helping me a lot with that.

[Tucson]

Howdy doody! I have made it to the next morning. So I am here. I am expecting this to be a good day. If it is not, I will lock my door and lay on the couch for the rest of the day. I may then even eat an Almond Joy candy bar.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by GoldenSnitch

I had a decent day today. Pdoc that I see outside of the hospital diagnosed me as bipolar with bpd tendencies. Pdoc in the hospital is leaning towards bpd. I’m not sure why. He hasn’t sat and asked me questions or anything like my regular pdoc. He had me do some personality assessment so we are just waiting on the results of that now. Still no plan for getting me discharged yet

It can be tricky to differentiate between the two. I was diagnosed with BPD first so it took a med change from just ADs to a mood stabilizer before my previous pdoc knew I had bipolar.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by scatterbrained04

It's been a rough day. Took several hours to get rid of the shakes. Had bad anxiety too. Horrible restless feeling where no where felt like a comfortable place to be. Not sure that last part makes sense? Anyhoo, ended up deciding to work from home today because I felt so awful. Also saw pdoc today. Increasing Latuda to 60mg. Have to have more bloodwork in a few weeks and see him again in a month.

I had that too on Latuda. My dose was dropped and I have Artane to help with that. It might be akathisia. Check with your pdoc.

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

we don't know if my grandma is going to make it through the night tonight. can barely breathe on her own. the hospital is doing what they can. hooked her up to oxygen and giving her the max oxygen possible. inserted a stent in her neck... my dad broke down in tears when he saw her. I couldn't understand him over the phone because he was crying so much, so I just told him not to worry about me and I said he can call me back whenever he needs to

So sorry to hear about your grandma, Blue.

[Unrigged64072835]

Had my second EMDR session today. A more traumatic memory--one that made me nauseous when I recalled it. Took some work (and some clever imagination) to get through it. I was going to stop at the nearby shelter afterwards and pet some cats, but there was a summer camp going on so I suspect the kitties had enough petting.

Kids are still trying to get jobs. My daughter applied for some stores in the shopping center next door to their apartment complex. She's dropping off her application for one tomorrow afternoon. We are buying some chairs for them, plus either a toaster or a blender. Maybe both. Depends on the cost.

Just not feeling well. Mood is kind of scattered, but I kind of expected it.

[Faltering]

Today my supervisor came up to me and said she saw my caseload this year. She said I don't need a fresh start like I had mentioned; what I need is fewer cases! I was so relieved she noticed. Mentally I'm doing okay. Just trying to get by.

[pirilin]

Me thinks can't get no better. But hoping.

[hopeless2015]

Things are going ok. Feeling bored with my job again now that I've caught up from all my fmla absences. I guess it's a good problem to have because it means I'm thinking clear enough to get **** done.

HUGS to everyone

[Scooter9]

I've been feeling really low for the past several days.

Missing my sister who died two years ago, missing my older son who moved to another country five months ago, and dealing with a major change in my life now too. All this on top of the depression. Not fun.

Holding on and going hour by hour. Waiting for my new dose of Lithium to kick in - it has just been a week so probably another week before I know whether it makes a difference.

[gina_re]

I had so much planned for today. I haven't done a damn thing but make breakfast. And it's almost 6p.m. Hopefully tomorrow I can get moving.