[bpforever1]

I am doing so-so. I had a good day and was able to relax. I went out to eat, not for breakfast, but for lunch and had a nice salad and chocolate parfait sundae. Then, I went shopping for food. I finally received a message that my mother is coming in about two weeks. I am hoping she will still be ok then when she arrives, I will tell her to have her head examined because it will be about a month since she hit her head on the floor and still has pain. I am worried but am trying to be patient. I am going to a meeting this Saturday too for others with depression and bipolar. We are going to meet and talk. I am hoping one of my pen pals whom I have been writing will also attend. He has bipolar too. I look forward to meeting him as a friend. I am ok. The man I was dating has not sent any messages to me because he is busy working and because I did not write him today. I am hoping he finds someone who will appreciate him and accept him into their family. I will miss him. I am going to prepare for my mother's visit and also remain busy doing my chores and other tasks. I also received an offer to teach another class and am happy about this. This class will make up for the classes that have been cancelled or have been cutting their class time due to one reason or another. I get paid by the hour so having classes cancelled or decreasing the time I teach really hurts. But, I will survive. I was despondent one of my classes was suddenly cancelled. It was not due to me but some other reason beyond my control. So, I was thinking of hanging my hat here and returning home but then got this offer to teach another class. My future does not look too bad. Classes come and go but it hurts when classes get cancelled suddenly. I am going to survive though! I am so-so but not doing too shabbily. Life is not bad at all except for the weather which is not nice here for now. It is rainy season here and it is muggy and hot. Yuck! Oh well, on the bright side, I'm not doing so badly!!

[bpforever1]

To Tucson, Internet dating sites are rampant with scammers. You met one and the best thing to do is block them. I met a couple of them online and they said they were doctors being sent to the Middle East and could not get a hold of a cell phone being in the Middle East now so could I send them money for them to have a cell phone etc. If you have an opportunity, you should skype with your potential dates you meet online. If they say they are American but have a heavy accent or speak broken English, it is wise to think that they are lying about themselves in their profile and to block them. Also, they usually don't allow you to see them on skype video and this should ring bells for you. I don't use Internet dating sites that much anymore but when I did I came across many scammers and after getting burned once, I learned their m.o. and just block them. They are easy to spot for me now. Their pictures look too good to be true or their profiles are too perfect or meant to pull on your emotions. So, just block them left and right. There will always be scammers on Internet dating sites. Thus, it is best to sniff them out and block them.

Phone interview #4 date and time is officially set.

Had #1 and #2 already, then #3 yesterday. Now #4 is 2 weeks from this Thursday (7pm my time lol). I'll have a 5th one, if I pass #4 of course, sometime shortly after that. Once that is all done, I go on-site for I think 5-6 more interviews (all day). But I think most of those interviews are with different teams to see where you fit best, so I guess they're really not "interviews" in the traditional sense. More like, "you're hired; now let's see which people you want to work with," which is fair and makes sense.

Nervous

Originally Posted by Gabyunbound

. I'm glad to see I've been so 'resilient', but I'm afraid I will hit my tipping point.

Wow, do I ever hear you on that! I'm sorry to hear your plate is so stressfully full. Sending my very best to both you and your mom. Try to remember to take some time to care for yourself, even if you can only catch moments. Every bit helps.

[Scooter9]

Feeling depressed again today. Went for my Lithium level test and waiting for the result.

Had an espresso to get a boost...lasted for an hour...I did some cleaning then. Now I'm just trying to get the energy to shower and start my work for the day.

Rough night last night. Skipping on PHP today. Today's objective is to shower and eat more than habaneros.

[pirilin]

Music is the soul of the people. People without music are souless.

SING!!!!!. PLAY!!!!!. DANCE!!!!!.

[Lifeischallenging]

So I'm kind of looking up. I recently applied for a bank and the postal service where I live. I'm hoping I get one of those. All I can do though is keep trying. I haven't my pdoc in a while and I don't know if he is going to take me off lithium. He might as that is what could be causing me to gain weight. I have noticed since being on lithium that my moods has been better, although my depression seems to be worse as the day goes on. I don't know why. Maybe this part of bipolar disorder. Experiencing mood swings like this. It happened to me before my diagnosis. I would just be driving and this sadness came over me, like a heavy feeling in my chest.

[251turnaround]

Entering the questioning delusional thoughts/paranoia part of mania right now. I thought certain customers were out to hurt/kill me at work last night, and for a while I thought my skin was 'bad' and rotting. I was able to defeat these thoughts with grounding techniques.

Wish me luck!

[Unrigged64072835]

Still restless but keeping busy. Doing stuff on the computer and puttering around the house. If I keep myself busy enough I won't raid the fridge and pantry as much. Thankfully we didn't spend much on groceries this week, but next week we'll need more meat and veggies so that will be pricey. I've planned for cold meals for the weekend as it's going to get real hot.

I find that I'm happier doing the cooking and housework than I was writing or working on photographs. I find it odd. It may be with the kids moving out and us moving out eventually (please!!!!!) I'm now in a new groove. While I'll miss my daughter and probably do the "empty nest" thing I'm more like I can now do more of what we want as far as cooking and such without having to accommodate someone who has different tastes.

Speaking of that--kids' friend had interview today that went well. Daughter has interview and assessment tomorrow, and her boyfriend has interview with the bank on Friday. We'll lose his employee discount if he takes this job but I think we'll still be good for food. I hope it all works out for them. Four more weeks until they move out. Daughter thinks she can get her driver's license the end of August, but we have a funky maneuver test that's essentially parallel parking. We're bringing lasagna for after the move, but we don't have to help with the actual moving. I can see me hurting my back trying to get some of their stuff out.

And they've been eating a lot of pizza as of late, even though there's still leftover stir-fry and a container of spaghetti sauce in the freezer.

Mood is still good, though I worry about hypo at this point.

[Sunflower123]

Trying to keep my spirits up but I find myself getting sicker and sicker. The whole situation is extremely unpleasant.

Sending hugs to those that need them.

I kinda knew my psychiatrist wouldn't lower my Seroquel XR today. I guess if my description of the last two weeks didn't cement the need to stay at the higher dose, my seated demonstration of my driving car dance did. Of course he was a wet blanket and said that cops might follow me doing that, but he admitted that he doesn't believe that I could be ticketed if I otherwise drove OK. Then I knew he was thinking about DUI, so I said that they can give me a sobriety test any time.

[Scooter9]

My lab result for the lithium level came back - it's 1.11.

That's almost at the max of 1.2 but maybe it's what I need for this depression.

[Blueberrybook]

I've been busy today (maybe getting hypomanic?). I finally started organizing my office, which is a mess. I have way to many books, more than I can read in my lifetime, so I started paring them down. Some I can resell to the used bookstore; others like textbooks and advance reader's editions, I cannot, so I took a box of those books to the library. The Friends of the Library can sell them and raise money to help the library.

I actually did go see a chiropractor since with my insurance, the co-pay was $15. My back and hip feel so much better, and he did a few neurological screeners, which he said were all fine. He got on me for being dehydrated and not drinking enough water though.

I finally mailed my daughter's class photo to my father-in-law in California, but OMG, my local post office is a pain. I didn't realize it doesn't have a self-use postal machine for large envelopes (usually I use a post office in a close town to us, and they have the self-serve). There was only one worker there and a long line. Then, the lady in front of me knew the postal worker and started chatting to her about a mutual friend they have and a new cell phone number to give her...I was like OMG! DO YOUR JOB! I used my local post office because it was closer to the chiropractor and library, but I think it would have been faster to drive 15 minutes and use the one I usually do.

Then, I picked my daughter up from day camp. This week, she has a day camp the school district puts on for the gifted & talented kids.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

My lab result for the lithium level came back - it's 1.11.

That's almost at the max of 1.2 but maybe it's what I need for this depression.

Increase your daily fluid intake and see if that makes a difference to your lab results. It’s always helped me.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Trying to keep my spirits up but I find myself getting sicker and sicker. The whole situation is extremely unpleasant.

Sending hugs to those that need them.

Jennifer, my heart goes out to you!
I am so sorry you are suffering.
thanks for the update.


WC

[Faltering]

I'm doing well now, especially since I'm done with work for the summer. I'm staying at my mom's house for most of the summer. I've been sleeping nearly 12 hours a day with this med increase.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Trying to keep my spirits up but I find myself getting sicker and sicker. The whole situation is extremely unpleasant.


Sending hugs to those that need them.

(((((Hug))))))

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Trying to keep my spirits up but I find myself getting sicker and sicker. The whole situation is extremely unpleasant.

Sending hugs to those that need them.

Sending hugs to you too!! Just hold on...

[liveforsummer]

Doing ok for the most part. Still getting more jittery as the day wears on and I feel the sense of urgency to speed up. Really irritable at times that I have to tell myself to not lose my mind when something totally annoys me. Ugh. I’ll just deal with it. Smile and carry on as they say

Hugs to everyone, take care of yourselves.

[wildflowerchild25]

Felt better today. NV (also referred to as my boyfriend in these posts - yes it’s official!) came over for awhile. We had lunch. He Got a new job that he’s very excited about so that’s great. I’m happy for him! Now if I can just find one lol. I applied to twelve yesterday. I have to check on the status of my unemployment claim. Supposedly I can start claiming next week but also I have to file a new claim in July which is also next week or the week after. Something like that. I don’t know. This is all so complicated. Compounded by the fact that I am not completely well at this point.

I think I might be coming down with strep throat. My son had it last week and then the antibiotic he was given didn’t knock it out so he still had it on Monday. Now today my throat hurts. No fever yet but we will see what happens overnight. If I still have a sore throat In the morning I will go to urgent care to get a strep test. The last time I had strep throat I was miserable so I hope it doesn’t play out like that. I have tons of low cal ice cream of it does though lol.

Well at least emotionally it was a better day.

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

Increase your daily fluid intake and see if that makes a difference to your lab results. It’s always helped me.

Yeah I don't drink enough. I'll try to get more.

Thanks.

I'm not taking my meds until like midnight so I can sleep until I have to go to PHP. I'm like 70% sure I was/am psychotic. Still some of the hallucinations and experiencing thoughts that aren't mine. I can't really explain the latter though, is that a symptom? It seemed really physical, like I feel something in my head that doesn't belong, and then I experience it as a thought but it's not in a familiar tone and often comes with a jolt.

I'm still super sensitive about everything. It's bike week and there's a ton of motorcycles and it's driving me crazy. I can't even listen to people talk to me. I also don't know when I should go back to work. Not now, but what if I never feel ready?

[giddykitty]

Tired so I won't write much here this time, but you can read my other posts.

Just update, I got my Zoloft permission to use again, so I'll be taking notice how this affects my moods and or if I get hypo. Hoping not, but just observing. Also to note, was irritable today. Is this part of dysphoria or a mixed episode? I should write these questions down.

[LacunaCoiler]

So I had my stroke that caused a seizure two weeks ago yesterday and I had my heart surgery two weeks ago on Saturday. I'm still feeling really tired but I am slowly getting back into the swing of things. I'm going to work for half a day or so and I can do simple things for myself. I still need my wife to help me shower and do various things for me since I really can't do a lot for myself since I really can't use my right arm or leg.

I started physical therapy for my limpy leg yesterday (which tired me out like crazy even though it was just baseline testing, nothing too tricky) and I had occupational therapy for my arm today. I was so defeated because I thought it really wasn't that bad and it was just a little weakness and numbness in my arm that would eventually come back. After all the tests I was soo tired and realized I can't do Shat with that arm/hand. I feel so defeated because I can't even do simple things that a 5 year old could easily do.

There was this test were you put little not round pegs (a circle with a stick sticking out the side) in different holes where the stick was in different directions so you had to turn the peg to make it fit in the hole. I could barely pick up the peg and when I could/did I had trouble turning it so I could put it in. My arm hurt really bad and halfway through I was so frustrated with myself that I wanted to flip the table and say Frick it.

The therapist said my mind is ready and telling my body what to do but my body is still healing and relearning the activity because the stroke stopped blood to the brain and killed certain parts of my brain that controlled these functions. It will take time to regenerate or rewire if it can't regenerate it but I want it done now. I want to be back to normal and I don't want to feel broken anymore. I know it's barely been 2 wks but I feel like a burden on my wife and that she'll eventually give up on me.

Plus we got the bill for the hospital stay today. For 6 days it costed $236 thousand and change. Luckily I have good insurance and it's covering it but I got a letter today that said it wouldn't approve the heart surgery. I'm scared because that was easily over $50k. What's the point of having insurance if they're not going to covre everything.