[diamondprincess]

This may sound dumb to some, but I have read articles, where people have said they wouldn't change anything if they could go back, because it made them who they are today. Whether they have success in their lives now, or are married and have kids, I guess there are different reasons. I personally would def choose to not have it, but as the years go by I am thinking it may be easier to just keep going with the life I have now, as opposed to try and get 'well' and fix things. I have been unmedicated for 4 years and it has been absolute hell. But at this point, I don't know how my life can go back to the way it was. Thoughts?

[SorryShaped]

There's some I would certainly change, but overall, no, I'd keep my creativity. So I suppose that, no, I wouldn't remove bipolar if it meant I lost everything that comes with it.

[Fuzzybear]

I’m not even sure what “getting well” means. I wouldn’t choose this disorder, but without it, I may not have my creativity or my ability to question some of the bs opinions of some so called “normal” people. Good question, thanks for posting.

[Zigy]

Considering that I've spent the last decade being mostly depressed with few hypomanic episodes costing me money, hell yeah, I'd chose not to have it. I have no life because of it.

[tecomsin]

I experience my illness as one of profound alienation. Most of the time I am depressed or very low energy. I don't have the energy to go out and socialize. I barely have the energy to go out and get a massage to forestall all the shoulder pain I was having from returning. Then I have some bouts of mania and end up throwing money away, and hospitalized. I don't experience just ordinary days where my mood is ordinary. So yeah I would take a life without my illness any day, gladly and without hesitation. I mean who wants all this suffering?

[diamondprincess]

Originally Posted by Zigy

Considering that I've spent the last decade being mostly depressed with few hypomanic episodes costing me money, hell yeah, I'd chose not to have it. I have no life because of it.

Same here. My life sucks.

[diamondprincess]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I experience my illness as one of profound alienation. Most of the time I am depressed or very low energy. I don't have the energy to go out and socialize. I barely have the energy to go out and get a massage to forestall all the shoulder pain I was having from returning. Then I have some bouts of mania and end up throwing money away, and hospitalized. I don't experience just ordinary days where my mood is ordinary. So yeah I would take a life without my illness any day, gladly and without hesitation. I mean who wants all this suffering?

Exactly. No one should suffer this much. I am sorry for your pain. At least we know we are not alone in feeling this way.

[Amazonmom]

If I could get rid of bipolar and keep my husband and kids I would get rid of it. I could have made something special out of my life if I didn't have it.

[Fuzzybear]

Originally Posted by Zigy

Considering that I've spent the last decade being mostly depressed with few hypomanic episodes costing me money, hell yeah, I'd chose not to have it. I have no life because of it.

I guess I was putting an overly “positive spin” on things in my previous reply.

I wouldn’t say I have “no life” (some might though ) but ... it’s ......”difficult”

[Wild Coyote]

I would enjoy being free of a mood disorder!

My experience brings me mostly severe depression. I am very rarely hypomanic and never manic. (BPII). Thus, I don't enjoy extra creativity and some of the other qualities of an "upswing."


WC

[WildcatVet]

I'd ditch it in a holy moment if I could! I've only had three manic episodes in my life (which are supposed to be fun???) so I spend all my time either being severely depressed or having rapid cycling mixed episodes of depression and hypomanic hostility and rage.
Meds help, but I feel I've lost everything in my life that was dear to me.

The idea of changing anything brings me anxiety. I've had my ups and downs in life, but I like who I am. Even the hard parts. I mean hey, because I was severely depressed I came on PC. Because I came on PC I made some great friends. All is as it should be in my eyes.

Firstly, I would be creative even without bipolar disorder. And bipolar episodes don't make me significantly better than when I'm stable. Actually, overall they make me much worse. I know who the stable me is. I like her better than the manic me even if mania might have helped boost something in the past. It didn't just boost the positives, it boosted a lot of negatives. Comparing them, the negatives were more numerous for me and some things that used to seem positive from the mentally ill perspective now appear negative.

I would definitely love to have never had the negatives of bipolar disorder and I would be extremely happy if it disappeared forever, but that will likely not be the case.

The only reason I might opt to keep bipolar disorder is to keep certain significant things I have. For example, if I never had bipolar disorder would I have met my husband? Perhaps not. He's worth the pain to me.

[emgreen]

What Bird Dancer said. I've always thought it was a bunch of BS assuming folks who have bipolar have more creativity. You're either creative, or you're not...full stop. I've lost a lot because of this damned disease. I lost a good career & find myself on SSDI. I've lost friends because of my prolonged periods of isolation when depressed...& it's too depressing to think of all the other negative impacts bipolar disorder has had on my life. That stated, I'm not as bitter as I sound. A key to living with the unavoidable is acceptance. I try to accept my lot with dignity...even if I sometimes have varying degrees of success.

[diamondprincess]

Originally Posted by TheSadGirl

The idea of changing anything brings me anxiety. I've had my ups and downs in life, but I like who I am. Even the hard parts. I mean hey, because I was severely depressed I came on PC. Because I came on PC I made some great friends. All is as it should be in my eyes.

I'm hoping to make friends here too. Lord knows I need it.

[diamondprincess]

Originally Posted by emgreen

What Bird Dancer said. I've always thought it was a bunch of BS assuming folks who have bipolar have more creativity. You're either creative, or you're not...full stop. I've lost a lot because of this damned disease. I lost a good career & find myself on SSDI. I've lost friends because of my prolonged periods of isolation when depressed...& it's too depressing to think of all the other negative impacts bipolar disorder has had on my life. That stated, I'm not as bitter as I sound. A key to living with the unavoidable is acceptance. I try to accept my lot with dignity...even if I sometimes have varying degrees of success.

I know how you feel. It sucks feeling left behind.

[theKow]

My disorder is part of me. Who would I be without it? Certainly being less impulsive would be a benefit, but I was probably boned by the life I was born into.

[scatterbrained04]

I would definitely choose not to have it.

[Unrigged64072835]

I would be one of those cliches I guess. If I didn't go through decades of hell with my bucket of MIs I wouldn't have met my husband, wouldn't have had my daughter, etc. I definitely wouldn't be continuing to improve myself even with these illnesses. I probably wouldn't be alive now.

I understand that people suffer a LOT and wouldn't want this. And yeah, my life would've been much different. But I do appreciate what I have now. I don't take anything for granted.

[Pookyl]

Hell yes.
Bipolar and anxiety have destroyed my life in so many ways. If I’d known that I would have bipolar/anxiety earlier, I wouldn’t have had children.
The fact that I’ve passed on my faulty genes is yet another source of anxiety.

[Blueberrybook]

I'd choose not to have it, all things considered. Lots of MI's made me who I am today - anorexia, BP, panic disorder, PTSD, even a non-mental medical disorder (perforated ulcer). I feel it's made me who I am today, but that I would a more effective wife and mother without all this baggage. And I definitely don't like playing ring-around-the-meds.

[MistressStayc]

I generally like who I am but I do despise the struggle to be someone I generally like. The path I took made me who I am so at this point not sure I would go back and change it for me but I would in a heart beat for my kid. He deserves a mother who is not broken and damaged by this disorder.

[Merlin]

I would happily give up this illness. I had many hopes and dreams I wasn’t able to realize due to Bipolar Disorder. Some of them, I have lost the opportunity to pursue in the future. The best moments of my life have been when I was the most stable.

[MiddleAgedManic]

Originally Posted by diamondprincess

This may sound dumb to some, but I have read articles, where people have said they wouldn't change anything if they could go back, because it made them who they are today. Whether they have success in their lives now, or are married and have kids, I guess there are different reasons. I personally would def choose to not have it, but as the years go by I am thinking it may be easier to just keep going with the life I have now, as opposed to try and get 'well' and fix things. I have been unmedicated for 4 years and it has been absolute hell. But at this point, I don't know how my life can go back to the way it was. Thoughts?

I have no success (though i'm in a depression now, and arguably i've had some successes), nor have i ever dated anyone (I'm 43) never mind married with kids.. However, my case is so bad (it's more than just bipolar) that i have no choice but to be on disability. For that reason, I'm glad i have it. For every other reason, no absolutely wish i never had it.

[~Christina]

I’m okay with who I am.

I was Bipolar for 30 odd years with no diagnosis and I did ok and have no more regrets than any other person would have looking back over there life at my age.

Now my chronic pain ??? That is the one thing I wish I could get rid of somehow. That effects every single nano second of my life.