[Victoria'smom]

I'm dying here. I want to hurt myself so bad. My mom keeps ordering jeans and hemming them to fit me. I'm up to size XX. I hate all the jeans too. They're horribly uncomfortable. I won't wear them when I get home. I'm trying to keep it together.

I'm not taking anymore Zyprexa. I can't believe I let myself get like this. I want "Anna" obviously I can't make good decisions with out "her". I'd rather be horribly unhealthy that way then horribly unhealthy this way. It'll be hard at first but I'll get use to it. I can't deal with this.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm calmer now. made it through all the SH/SI feelings without acting on them. Still done with Zyprexa. It'll take about 3 days to withdraw. It's going to be hell. I'm keeping it around just in case.

[BipolaRNurse]

MM, don't even think about going off your meds. I'll admit I don't understand eating disorders, I'm fat and it frankly hurts my feelings to think some people would rather lose their $#!+ or die than be like me. Not that I'm taking it personally from you, of course, but honestly, you need to think more about your husband and son than your weight. They will not be served well when the inevitable occurs and you become psychotic. It happens every time you go off your meds and it will happen this time too. Sorry if that sounds harsh, but we've seen you do this time and time again and it never ends well for you. Don't be foolish!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I'm calmer now. made it through all the SH/SI feelings without acting on them. Still done with Zyprexa. It'll take about 3 days to withdraw. It's going to be hell. I'm keeping it around just in case.

Instead of dropping the zyprexa completely take just 5mg.
This is what I take along with a lot of other things and I am able to lose weight albeit slowly.
bizi

I've got to agree with BipolaRNurse. Please do not just go off the zyprexa. It *does* always go badly. Sorry to say, but true. How about talking to your pdoc and getting a different AP onboard first? That way, you get to stay consistent on an AP *and* move away from the zyprexa.

[Victoria'smom]

I'm betting the psychosis comes back. So I have the horrible negative voice telling me how horrible my eating choices are. Maybe then I will make better choices. I don't want the chatter and confutation but those side effects are better then the weight, lack of personality. It's not like I don't still have paranoia and delusions.

Bipolar nurse I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. Weight is a very touchy subject. I was "okay-ish" until the pants came in. Then it all hit me. My husband told me we'll take care of the weight when I get home. There's a lot more that goes along with weight for me physical problems, sexual problems and of course mental problems.

Instead of dropping the zyprexa completely take just 5mg. I'm on dissoluble and currently cutting 20's into 10's. I can't make it any smaller.

How about talking to your pdoc and getting a different AP onboard first? I don't have a pdoc appointment. My pdoc retired and we never set up an appointment with his replacement. My husband has to do that Tuesday. I have a month worth of meds waiting for me at home. I'm thinking about going back to my old clinic so I can get back on abilify shot. It's just a hassle every month to drive 30 min. away to get the shot in a shady neck of the woods. I should just shut the **** up and take my meds. My other option is to try Saphris and Risperidone.

I'm more level headed today. I'm going to take my medication tonight. I need to lose weight smart. I need a dietitian, and an exercise classes (for a short time).

[Movingon69]

I'm so glad you are felling better. I hope it continues.

I realize I'm new and don't know your whole situation but I wanted to say exercise actually helps me feel better not only physically but in my head as well.

[tecomsin]

That's tough to still have paranoia and delusions on a steep dose of Zyprexa. At least the medication should be effective if you also have to put up with unwanted side effects. Is there another medication you could try? I also chose to get off of Zyprexa because of pre-diabetes but I ended up going psychotic and now am on rexulti. Unfortunately I cannot safely be off all APs. I need to have at least a low dose of one in the mix.

[Faltering]

I'm sorry you're experiencing these thoughts. I have an ED also. I've had voices telling me to starve. I was on Zyprexa and gained weight, so I know what you're going through.

[Victoria'smom]

Is there another medication you could try? I have some choices but I really don't want to change because it's supposedly one of the more power AP's and all AP's carry the risk of weight gain. I'm scared of gaining even more weight switching.

I found out there are "cheap" adult swimming lessons. So I'll try to do that when I get home. I'll ask for it for my birthday I know how to swim well but it gives me a starting point on healthy exercising.

[Blueberrybook]

I'm glad you're feeling better. I am recovered from an ED as well (anorexia), with relapses here & there. I still have the occasional ED thoughts, especially lately. I had to have surgery for a perforated ulcer (not caused by the ED, caused by bacteria and taking NSAIDs), and it caused me to drop a lot of weight quickly, which I find I don't want to gain back. Sigh. Now, I'm a bit underweight for my height and find I like it. I hate EDs. It's harder to deal with than BP though I believe bipolar is one of the strongest comordities with EDs. It sucks. Sorry you're going through that as well. I hope you continue to do better.

[RainyDay107]

I understand her, Ana, and PM me, anytime.

ED or no ED, you definitely have options. My psychiatrist will not prescribe Zyprexa to ANY of his patients. Zero. He said the weight gain side effect is the reason.

I agree not going off it right now is a good idea. You need to have pdoc transition you to another med, MM.

But it will be OK and don’t keep the jeans. You don’t like jeans so they could be any size and wouldn’t be right for you.