Unmotivated or maybe just lazy

Recently (as of today) I’ve realized just how unmotivated I’ve become in recent years. I think it began when my husband died. I used to do things. I used to cook, and enjoy cooking. I used to clean, though I never enjoyed it. I used to enjoy making crafts, like knitting and making jewelry. I haven’t done those for over ten years. I used to read all the time, and now I have two books that I bought just sitting unopened in my mail bin. They should be really interesting books too, but I can’t motivate myself to open them and read them. Most of my day is spent sleeping, surfing Facebook, and coming here. I love being outside yet can’t motivate myself to go for a walk to the local botanical garden (only 15 minute walk).

I just don’t know how to get myself moving again. Now that I’m not working I feel like I have no purpose. I’m lost. I will be discharged from IOP soon and then I will have nothing but time on my hands. I will need to structure my day, otherwise I will just sleep all day. I’m already exhausted enough from sleeping too much.

Has anyone experienced this? I don’t want to mess with my meds as I’ve been stable on them for about three weeks (minus a little dip into depression because of PMS) which is longest I’ve been stable since January. I don’t think it’s the meds causing this really. Like I said it’s been going on since my husband died, especially the cooking and cleaning part. I just think, what’s the point of being a housewife for just myself? My son only eats peanut butter sandwiches anyway lol.

I just want to get some drive and direction back in my life. Get some hobbies or something. I’d love to meet up with people and make new friends but I’m way too socially anxious for that. I’m considering going to a dbsa or Nami meeting. They have both in my area. I went to dbsa back in January and didn’t go back only because it’s at an inopportune time but now it would probably work.

Anyone relate?

Unbelievably I decided to read my recovery book and the chapter was exactly what I described here. This doctor said that he recommends just DOING it. I need to come up with a plan to structure my day before IOP ends next week.

I have been in that mode for several months now I don't feel like I have any purpose or any motivation to do anything. Some days I push myself to do it and then after I do something I don't feel like I got anything out of it. It is hard especially not working because I don't do anything. I sleep longer than what the doctors want me to but I don't usually tell them that. Luckily my husband like simple meals even though I only cook a few nights a week.
I hope you can find some things to do to bring out some motivation.

Ahhhh geeeez can I relate.

Almost a year ago that incident really threw me off the tracks. After it happened I just stopped cooking dinner for a couple weeks other than a sandwich, I normally enjoy cooking like you said .... now? Still no.

I clean house all the time but that’s a OCD thing.

It’s not like my life has totally sucked since then , there were good things happening but it’s harder to bring those to mind instead of the rage and depression.

Right now a more structured life ???! Oh hell no I don’t want to fall out of bed let alone go anywhere, tomorrow I have a Rheumatologist appt I haveeee to go to but it means I need to actually put a bra on and go out into the world and it seems impossible atm

Even when I’m doing ok BP wise I still have chronic pain to deal with so yeah that doesn’t help the old motivation

I think I’m rambling .... my head is like a overflowing sink.. sorry about this ramble on your thread. LOL

I’ll go now but ... YES I can so relate.

I’m so glad your more stable now , you know your doing better when you start thinking of these issues

Oh one more thing ... your son and peanut sandwiches??? My daughter ate nothing but cereal for 6-7 months , she eventually decided she like grilled cheese and that lasted for a few months lol

Ok bye

I know you said meeting people is stressful but maybe log onto Meetup.com and check out groups that are set up based on things you used to love and give it at least one try. You never know....

I lack motivation. It's the most frustrating part of my experience with depression. I tell myself each day will be different. No. I keep trying.


WC

I can feel very unmotivated at times (like right now). I don’t think it’s laziness I think it’s just part of the BP moods particularly with depression (even mild). Sometimes I just do nothing at all but wander around the house thinking gee I should do something. Then occasionally I will start a task. An yep it takes a lot of effort during those times. What about thinking of one simple task and giving yourself whatever sufficient time you realistically would need to get it done whether that’s a day or week or month. Small steps. Be kind to yourself

I understand, this last med change has really been good for me but it's a struggle to get out of bed every single ****ing day!! Oh and PMs OMG, why do we have to go through this every single month???

For me, lack of motivation and low energy - both at home and at work - come with depression. I've been this way for couple of years now.

This sounds a little like me too. My Pdoc said I was depressed. Could you be depressed and not know it, like me? My Pdoc tweaked my meds.

Same here.

I was dx’d bipolar after my husband died and being laid off of my job of 8 years. The universe has no mercy. Triple whammy. Psych meds suck the life out of me and make me gain weight too.

I’m in a new job, but it is stressful and my boss’ boss is a fright and I have to interact with her sometimes. I just don’t want to get out of bed sometimes, and not having a boss that cares (mine is retiring and cares nothing about me or my work) isn’t helping.

I’m in therapy to work on it and trauma. I don’t remember if you witnessed your husband’s death—I did and I think EMDR therapy may help. I’m just starting.

When you’re done with inpatient do you have a therapist?

Thank you for all your wonderful responses. I think if I am mildly depressed It is due to being unemployed. I think the unemployment is really what’s throwing me off. But I’d like to get my hobbies back, I really would.

Key tones - I found my husband but didn’t witness his death. It was traumatic to find him but it wasn’t bad enough to warrant a PTSD dx. I don’t have flashbacks or anything of the sort. I do have a therapist who I will see on June 5. I love her, she knows me very well and we work very well together. She might be able to give me some insight.

Today my son is sick and I just slept when he was sleeping and even now I’m so bored but I don’t want to do anything. I don’t even want to watch Netflix. I have to get my laundry out and put the towels in though. Ugh.

Hope the lil guy gets better soon

Don’t beat yourself up ... I think mentally your just getting a break.

So glad you have a great T ! I’m so grateful I’m back with my T of 7 years. It’s a huge comfort.

I’m glad you have the therapist lined up. I’m starting to think I need different therapists for different purposes.

I like NAMI. I think that is a great idea.

Two therapists ago, I had one that was after me to start activities, but it was too soon. If you feel you are ready, that has got to be really so good for you. I would love to sing in a choir again someday.

Hang in there

That seems similar to the approach my new T is trying to use on me (the DBT & CBT stuff). He gave me a two page list of shite to examine & do (hobbies, tasks, etc.). Your doc is right in pointing out the "DOING it" part. It ain't always easy.

I was deppressed for three years. Now I look back and get really mad at myself. Even if it might not have been my fault, it was my responsibility to come out of it.
Lithium first, then Paxil have helped a great deal.

I wish I took my shrink advise sooner and try SSRI's.
The years I lost won't come back. And I don't have many left at 68. With emphysema and bipolar comorbidity, my life expectancy is 68.9 years.
I'm 68.6 now. So I better hurry and make up for time lost now. Like RIGHT NOW.

No problem. They say 68.6 is the new 40! Seriously, though, I smoked for decades & I'm feeling the effects even though I haven't smoked in 5 years. I might understand a bit of what you're describing. The meds piece was also a part of the puzzle for me. Good luck...Given your humor on these boards you'll live long & happy.

I had a Pdoc who told me to DO. He said it was "behavioural activation" and I just had to force myself to do things. Turns out, I had a severe injury and due to the medications I was on did not feel the true pain of it. DOING IT caused irreparable damage. Are you sure there is not a physical reason your body is saying not to DO?

I am having a bit of the same problem with boredom. The weather is cold here and I am not used to being restricted indoors so much since I left treatment 3 years ago. I was a member here when your husband died, it was such a shock and I am proud to see you still doing so well and caring for your boy. It sucks about the unemployment.

I have had a few days off work this week (in conjunction with PMS too) that have had me feeling like I didnt know what to do with myself. I do know that this will pass and if my body is wanting this much couch time, then maybe it needs it! Have hope the motivation will return.

I have been drawing just with a pen and pad, planning my garden but not doing anything excessive.

Do you watch cooking or crafting tv shows at all? I found Gordon Ramsey week on Masterchef AU quiet effective in encouraging me to cook in extravagant and enjoyable ways.

I think you guys may be on to something about the mild depression still hanging on. I feel awful today and I can’t tell if it’s because I feel guilty for sleeping four hours again or if I slept four hours again because i feel awful. Chicken or the egg, right? Does too much sleep beget depression or does depression beget too much sleep, or both? I think it’s probably a cycle.

Regardless I’m going to take my son out to dinner so we can get out of this house (he’s feeling much better) and hopefully I will feel better. I really feel like crying right now and I don’t know why.