[Christopher1990]

I am prescribed zyprexa 20mg tegretol 200mg 3x and lexapro 10mg.

I stopped tegratol like 3 weeks ago because I felt it was causing rash like acne all over my body. So I wanted to see if it would go away.

I've been cutting the zyprexa since back home for about 3 months because I can't function on 20mg. And I get tremors. I take about 5mg or 10mg.

Recently prescribed lexapro and it seems to have destroyed my libido. I haven't taken it in 2 days.

I am obsessed with side effects and its been like this since I started medications 14 years ago.
Its appaerant to everyone close to me that I can't function without medication.

I can't help but play doctor its like a serious problem I have. I am stable now just tired and depressed.

Should I suck it up and take them as prescribed? Come clean to the pdoc?

Does anyone else struggle with taking pills as prescribed?

I was non compliant and wound up in the psych ward. I dont recommend it.

Currently I take zoloft which makes me exhausted all the time and gives me bad heartburn. I take lithium because zoloft alone makes me manic. I take vyvanse to combat the exhaustion of zoloft. I take clonazepam to sleep because vyvanse keeps me awake. You get the idea. But I am mentally stable and functioning well.

I often feel like one has to choose between mental and physical health. The balanace is hard.

[Victoria'smom]

I think you should come clean to your poc and the whys. Are you doing okay on just the lower dose of Zyprexa? If you are depressed you're not stable. I have trouble taking scripts. Especially pills because it is hard for me to swallow. So I take odt. I've been the most compliant on them. Currently I'm not taking the Zyprexa like I should but haven't had any side effects except this buzzing feeling.

[Nammu]

A always come clean with the pdoc, they can't help you if you're not honest. Tell them upfront you have a hard time with side effects and try to come up with those you are willing to tolerate.

[Blueberrybook]

Come clean to the pdoc and let them know about the side effects that bother you the most. I hate the loss of libido that comes with most side meds. I am lucky in that I usually get a minimum of side effects though if a psych med has dry mouth as a side effect, I'm sure to get it. The dentist has even told me that the dry mouth is bad for your teeth and probably a part of why I have so many dental issues. Another of the reasons is that you can inherit the microbial dental flora (usually from your mother), and my mom has bad teeth. Also, I started grinding & clenching my teeth tightly (bruxism) while sleeping when my eating disorder was bad, and tooth grinding though not always caused by eating disorders can be caused by them, and I just never can't stop it even if my eating habits are mostly normal with the odd relapse here and there.

I am trying to be compliant and also honest with my pdoc. Such as, I tell them flat out that if I feel a psych med is making me gain weight uncontrollably, they can be certain I won't take it (because of my history with eating disorders). The libido thing is frustrating though, but my mind prioritizes it lower than weight gain. I have learned the hard way not to play doctor with myself. I got myself into an awful manic spell that way. If a med makes me too tired (other than ones that are supposed to help me sleep), and I can't function during the day on it, I let the pdoc know. That was how I got off the Seroquel XR, which works great for many people, but which made me want to sleep all day every day, which in turn made me depressed. Pdoc tried me on instant release Seroquel, and it was like a switch was flipped. It's been the miracle drug for me. I haven't gained weight on it (though this is not the norm, but we're all different), and I only take it before bedtime, and it does an excellent job of putting me to sleep without leaving me feeling hungover, the way Trazodone did.

[wiretwister]

tell your pdoc ... tell him your reasons but let him decide ... I have been non complient for years picking and choosing ...and it's not always been good ... but to be honest it really does take someone ( on the outside) to be objective ... that's why I always ask my wife how am I doing ....

[yellow_fleurs]

Yeah, I agree with everyone else that you should tell the pdoc. Ultimately, you should be able to decide what you take, and your pdoc should respect if you are not able to handle the side effects, but they must know what you are really taking so they can best help you. Skipping doses of certain meds can really mess you up (I got so messed up when I stopped Lexapro, and I actually titrated off it slowly), and if they don't know the reason you are doing poorly they might just throw in another medication or something. Better to stop taking a medication due to side effects and try something else under the supervision of your pdoc, then just end up on an ineffective med regimen, or even really unstable and in a bad episode.

[Christopher1990]

Thanks for the replies I don't go in until another month. I fear if I come clean they won't take me back. And it is like the only place I can go. Idk..

I liked my combo before my last relapse better than this. Latuda elavil and Ativan.

The p.a. I see doesn't seem to work with me like my last when I tell her the sufferers

I'm thankful I haven't experienced dry mouth.

I know that side effects suck. Some just become unbearable, but some seem terrible at first, but then eventually fade away. I've had medications that fit the latter category that I was really happy I stuck with. I know patience when miserable is tough, but if it helps over the long-term it's worth it.

There are indeed medications that I have vowed to never take again. I can say that even though Risperdal was great at keeping me stable, it was clear that no matter how many times I'd ever try it, it would give me hyperprolactinemia. It's "cousin" medication Invega did the same thing. Then I developed a pituitary tumor, which Risperdal is known to cause on rare occasions, so I decided to ban it rather than let the tumor grow and have it removed through my nose.

Some antipsychotics were just hell bent on giving me akathisia. I put up with akathisia for long periods on a couple that caused it, but I never got full relief from the akathisia. Akathisia is something that doesn't just go away with time. Luckily, some antipsychotics have never caused me to have akathisia. I'll stick with them.

When a medication causes me to have a dystonia, I write it off.

If it becomes clear that a medication has never done anything for me after three trials, I send it to the figurative grave yard. Lithium is there. Plus, Lithium gave me the most side effects of any single medication I have ever taken in my life. The only bad Lithium side effect I never experienced was weight gain. For some reason it was weight friendly for me. I never went toxic on it, either. But if it didn't work, good bye!

I have found that some medications that seemed wrong at one time were usual at another. For example, Lamictal has always been activating for me. Once at 300 mg I ended up in the hospital manic. Another two times it started to make me manic. The third time my doctor decided to just keep the dose very low and add more sedating antipsychotic. That worked out great.

[still_crazy]

maybe a differet line up? I couldn't handle depakote or risperidone, so now I'm prescribed abilify and lamictal. works nicely, and...here's the big thing...i can actually tolerate these drugs.

also...in Bipolar I, one doesn't necessarily -have- to take a tranquilizer, at least...not every.single.day. The old school treatment protocols usually focused on mood drugs, with low dose tranquilizers used for mania and sometimes depression. having said that...

some people need a tranquilizer, no matter the diagnosis. some people actually do better on carefully selected, carefully dosed older tranquilizers versus the newer ones. perphenazine and loxapine are both older ones that are often easier to tolerate than the other older drugs, and they're cheaper than the new ones, too.

sorry this is happening. not all shrinks actually listen. ive had some power trip on me, and its kind of scary, actually. hope things get better for you.

[~Christina]

Be honest..

Virtually every psych meds have side effects.

It can take a while to find just the right combo that offered you less side effects but more benefits.

I don’t know any Bipolar person that hasn’t fiddled with there meds. It’s very typical, I did it in the past.

[Nammu]

Yup. Gotta repeat what bird dancer said. Many side effects go away after a bit.....I think the general rule is to give a med 6 weeks unless it's an intolerable side effect.

[Movingon69]

I agree with everyone. Your doctor can’t jelp you if you aren’t being honest about how you’re feeling. Hope it all works out.

[Charixma]

Oi, I'm in the same boat as far as non-compliance. I absolutely hate the side effects of Zyprexa; I was on only 5 mg and tapered down on my own to 2.5. As if the constant sedating mind fog isn't bad enough, the overwhelming weight gain is beyond depressing. I have a small 5' 1 frame and weighing in at 135 was the point where I noped out on this medication.

The pdoc tried to switch me onto a different antipsychotic, Latuda, which I find to be very activating. What quickly followed was an awful mixed state in which I committed self-harm and dealt with terrible SI. It lasted all evening and I had trouble sleeping and that is when I came to the realization that sometimes, antipsychotics are just more trouble than they're worth.

And so I quit all of them. The next day I didn't take the Latuda and I definitely didn't take the Zyprexa. I completely went off of Zyprexa (against specific doctor's orders due to my huge number of psych hospitalizations from mania induced psychosis) as of last Friday.

It's Monday, and guess what, I'm already a tad skinnier (yay!) BUT, the paranoia is slowly but surely coming back. I've already noticed how I get completely spaced out and start staring off into space thinking about possible scenarios that may or may not have actually happened. I'm slowly losing my orientation and even though it's gradual, it happens fast. I've already been getting less sleep and have been especially "active," in the past few days.

But geez, you guys, it feels so good to feel things again and not be so cloudy and hungry all the time. In a way, even though I feel more out of control at times, it makes me feel like I am the one that's in control again.

As far as my burgeoning symptoms, I'm going to do my best to fight through this and stay oriented. I'm currently taking my SNRI Effexor XR 112 mg (we just lowered it to 112 from 150 and I think I liked being on the 150 more...) I'm still on my Gabapentin 300 mg 4x a day and two at bedtime = 1800 MG of Gaba per day which helps with mood stabilization. Trazedone 100 mg at night time for sleep. Klonopin .5 mg 2x per day for anxiety/PTSD symptoms. Hydroxyzine 25 mg at bedtime for sleep.

I do think that being honest with your pdoc will help you in the long run but it's also about where you feel your relationship with them stands. I'm with a new "team" of doctors and feel that I run the risk of being hospitalized again (involuntarily) if I speak up about this. They were fighting to keep me on Zyprexa, and I'm fighting to stay off.

Originally Posted by Christopher1990

Thanks for the replies I don't go in until another month. I fear if I come clean they won't take me back. And it is like the only place I can go. Idk..

I liked my combo before my last relapse better than this. Latuda elavil and Ativan.

The p.a. I see doesn't seem to work with me like my last when I tell her the sufferers

I'm thankful I haven't experienced dry mouth.

I am so non-compliant that it's not even funny. I can't tell you how many times I've gone on/off my meds and caused rapid cycling as a result. It's been an on/off thing for 3 years at this point. And it's caused all sorts of episodes, PLUS psychosis when I'm not in an episode.

I always admit to what I've done and I've never gotten kicked out of my pdoc's practice. Instead, my pdoc and therapist worked with me on trying to stay consistent, as long as I promised that I would let them help. (And I genuinely did want help, so it wasn't like I was forced into it.) I think they know that everyone has their struggles and that medication isn't 100% of the treatment. In fact, I don't think they expect anyone to be 100% compliant all the time. Some patients are really good at being compliant, but I'm sure they've had other patients who're just like you and me.

Nowadays, I sometimes miss doses here and there, but I'm usually pretty good at staying on my meds. And like BirdDancer and Nammu said, try to give these new meds some time before you make a decision about whether you like them or not.

If I get side effects, they typically disappear after 1-2 weeks, but I've heard of some people having them for up to 6 weeks like NAmmu said. The only lingering side effect I have is dry mouth, but that's not a huge deal, honestly. It sounds bad, but I just drink more water/fluids and I'm fine. Besides, I need the water anyways because I'll get constipated from my meds if I don't. lol. But some meds have given me sedation and I can't tolerate that with my 9-5 job where I need to be awake and alert, so if the sedation doesn't go away after 4 weeks, I toss the med (with my pdoc's permission, of course). Sure, I don't give it the full 6 weeks, but if I've got serious deadlines, I can't mess around waiting for sedation to go away.

Sorry for rambling...

[yellow_fleurs]

If you're honest with them, I would think it would appear as a sign that you are trying to get better and to be responsible for your mental health by telling them that you are struggling with taking the meds. I doubt they would stop seeing you for that, and if they did then maybe time for another pdoc anyways. Also, if you aren't able to take the meds as prescribed right now, you could probably request to be seen earlier or at least discuss your concerns over the phone with your pdoc. Good luck with everything!

[*Laurie*]

Thank you for this post. I am struggling with the med issue right now. My pdoc has me on 5 psych meds and I think it's ridiculous. With regard to 1 (Gabapentin) I was feeling WAY overmedicated and had some manic symptoms (extreme, relentless, dangerous anger). I told her what was going on, and that I wanted to STOP taking the stuff. She politely disagreed; we went back and forth. I came home, dropped the dose of that poison way down and I feel SO much better. Much more normal.

I am going to discuss the med issue with my therapist today. I completely support med compliance when the med/s are truly helping. I do not believe in doping a patient up to the point at which we have no life but to stare at a wall and think about sleep while we gain weight and shake so severely we feel embarrassed to go out in public.

I know it's very hard, but I think you do need to be honest with your pdoc. If you're not honest, things are going to get all tangled up and she'll figure out that you're lying.
I very much wish you the best with this difficult issue.

[Tkb1966]

I stopped taking Effexor on my own and came clean to my pdoc and he will no longer see me. But in my defense he would not listen to me at all! I would tell him I'm having terrible anxiety ( I always have anxiety but this was major) I told him it was no longer working for me as I was having depression almost constantly. He would only say let's increase your dose. I was already taking a high enough dose. That being said, I should have told him that I was going to have to stop taking it and that I knew my body and it was not working out for me instead of doing it on my own without informing him.

[Pookyl]

I would say be honest with your doctors and be compliant in the meantime.

I admit I struggle to understand non-compliance.
I’m envious of those who are primarily stable. I’ve only ever been non compliant when unwell and normally take the meds I need to take regardless of the side effects. E.g. I take Epilim EC. It makes me fat. It also stops SI for me. I’ve had no SI since end Nov 2017 which is wonderful. I’d prefer to have my mind working and be here for myself and family than be thin.

What works for me won’t necessarily for you. Wishing you all the best.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Tkb1966

I stopped taking Effexor on my own and came clean to my pdoc and he will no longer see me. But in my defense he would not listen to me at all! I would tell him I'm having terrible anxiety ( I always have anxiety but this was major) I told him it was no longer working for me as I was having depression almost constantly. He would only say let's increase your dose. I was already taking a high enough dose. That being said, I should have told him that I was going to have to stop taking it and that I knew my body and it was not working out for me instead of doing it on my own without informing him.

He won't see you because you stopped the Effexor?!?!What a JERK!!!!

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

I would say be honest with your doctors and be compliant in the meantime.

I admit I struggle to understand non-compliance.
I’m envious of those who are primarily stable. I’ve only ever been non compliant when unwell and normally take the meds I need to take regardless of the side effects. E.g. I take Epilim EC. It makes me fat. It also stops SI for me. I’ve had no SI since end Nov 2017 which is wonderful. I’d prefer to have my mind working and be here for myself and family than be thin.

What works for me won’t necessarily for you. Wishing you all the best.

I have been med compliant for several decades. It is only this year when I have begun to question being on so many medications for so very many years. It's not about "fat or thin" for me; at this point, it's about am I willing to gain so much weight that I have a heart attack, stroke, or complications from uncontrollable diabetes?

Over time the questions can change and the answers can be different than they were at earlier times in life.

[Unrigged64072835]

I've been honest with my former pdoc and pnurse when I dropped doses on my meds, and for good reason. I was on high doses of Latuda and Viibryd, and I was so restless I was crawling out of my skin. After being on a lose dose and still having issues, I was switched to Trileptal. I'm on the lowest dose of Viibryd to counter depression (which I get during summer and winter). Right now I'm doing okay.

I've haven't gone off meds completely because I was feeling better or feeling awful. Then again my former pdoc and pnurse listen to me.

[Tucson]

I suggest talking to your doctor about what you have been doing with your meds, and the reasons you had in doing this. If he eventually figures this out for himself, I would expect that there would be a very real possibility for him to not see you again. This would be justified, despite how much you deserve relief from your symptoms.

I remember one day my body starting shaking very badly. It was a very terrible experience. I decided not to change my meds, and instead wait for my next pdoc appountnent a few days later. It is that important to me to remain compliant. I am glad I did this. I initially suspected it was the last med that was changed a couple weeks ago. Instead it turned out to be a med that I had been talking for well over a couple months. How long would it have taken before I managed to figure this out? After how many meds that I would of had to take myself off of before finding the culprit? Which would mean more time feeling miserable and becoming more unstable.

PS Playing doctor with ones meds should be listed as a symptom of BP.

[Christopher1990]

lol it should be listed as a symptom..

I've decided I'm just going to take them as prescribed.. i took them all last night

to think of it, i was doing much better when I was on full doses.. and taking them like i should.

[*Laurie*]

Originally Posted by Tucson

I suggest talking to your doctor about what you have been doing with your meds, and the reasons you had in doing this. If he eventually figures this out for himself, I would expect that there would be a very real possibility for him to not see you again. This would be justified, despite how much you deserve relief from your symptoms.
I don't agree. If my GP gives me a cream for a rash, I use the cream, and the rash flares and becomes worse I would be pretty stupid to keep using the cream. It would be smarter to stop using the cream, then communicate with my GP about the negative effect. If my GP insisted that I keep using the cream and I know it makes my rash worse why should it be okay for that GP to refuse to see me again?
The problem is a communication breakdown. Both doctor and patient would do well to work it out, not to throw the baby out with the bath water.


I remember one day my body starting shaking very badly. It was a very terrible experience. I decided not to change my meds, and instead wait for my next pdoc appountnent a few days later. It is that important to me to remain compliant. I am glad I did this. I initially suspected it was the last med that was changed a couple weeks ago. Instead it turned out to be a med that I had been talking for well over a couple months. How long would it have taken before I managed to figure this out? After how many meds that I would of had to take myself off of before finding the culprit? Which would mean more time feeling miserable and becoming more unstable.
Wait a few days when you had such an unusual reaction? That is unwise...potentially extremely dangerous.

PS Playing doctor with ones meds should be listed as a symptom of BP.
If a patient is experiencing especially negative side effects the patient has a responsibility to speak up and the right to be heard. Blind faith is not a good idea when one's well-being is at stake. I don't support the "doctor is God" model.

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