[Miss Laura]

Had a great time last night at my little Cousin's 21st/leaving party. Had a good few drinks and was fine. My friend said I shouldn't drink cause I'm manic. Whatever lol.

Today I'm whacked think the lack of sleep has creeped up on me. I got 4 hours last night though more than I have had a night for around a week. Insomnia kills. On the bonus I have no head ache yay!

I'm anxious for the coming week...

Monday I see my Psychiatrist whom I haven't seen in 6 months

Tuesday I'm seeing a new counsellor as I've been waiting to see a counsellor via our health system (NHS) so I'm having to pay for it out of my own pocket and it's not cheap

Wednesday I'm seeing my Community Worker for an hour.

I'm kinda unsure if I should tell the psychiatrist and community worker I'm potentially seeing a counsellor. What if they stop my support or think badly of me?

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Pushed myself to go out last night to a local meet up. We had a drum circle at the end of the meeting and banged on drums, tambourines and shakers and danced. At the end we howled. Seems weird but it was cathartic and I slept like a baby last night.

I think I’ll go again next month.

Sending hugs to those that are struggling.

Sounds like great FUN!

[Anrea]

I want off the BPD and BP train. It is all consuming. I think I am going to abandon my meds. I think I can do okay on my own. I am sick of the weight gain.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Pushed myself to go out last night to a local meet up. We had a drum circle at the end of the meeting and banged on drums, tambourines and shakers and danced. At the end we howled. Seems weird but it was cathartic and I slept like a baby last night.

I think I’ll go again next month.

Sending hugs to those that are struggling.

Whoo, sounds great!

[Blueberrybook]

Ugh, I don't know what's wrong with me today. I am SO tired. I usually walk and jog in the morning, but I couldn't today. I got nearly 8 hours of sleep last night. Then, later this morning, I slept another 2 hours. I hadn't really been having sleep problems, so I'i'm not sure what's going on. Could be a fibro flare. I haven't had one of those in a long time, so I'm probably overdue :rolleyes" Maybe I'm fighting something off. There was a day this past week when my husband said he felt drugged and hungover all day, though he doesn't even drink. That was the day he lost his laptop at the training, but thank God someone turned it in to lost & found and it was just fine. Or it could be my meds combo. I just restarted the Protonix again (a lower dose than before),, and it may not like one of these other meds much. I'm going to talk to both my pdoc & gastro-doc about it. My pdoc recently put me on some Wellbutrin nearly at the same time I started the Protonix Also, I am not having problems with blurry vision with fine print, especially in the morning: (eading the computer screen or reading a book), and I think it may be related to the meds. I see my pdoc on Thursday, and I will definitely bring it up then.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by cln1812

Ugh, I don't know what's wrong with me today. I am SO tired. I usually walk and jog in the morning, but I couldn't today. I got nearly 8 hours of sleep last night. Then, later this morning, I slept another 2 hours. I hadn't really been having sleep problems, so I'i'm not sure what's going on. Could be a fibro flare. I haven't had one of those in a long time, so I'm probably overdue :rolleyes" Maybe I'm fighting something off. There was a day this past week when my husband said he felt drugged and hungover all day, though he doesn't even drink. That was the day he lost his laptop at the training, but thank God someone turned it in to lost & found and it was just fine. Or it could be my meds combo. I just restarted the Protonix again (a lower dose than before),, and it may not like one of these other meds much. I'm going to talk to both my pdoc & gastro-doc about it. My pdoc recently put me on some Wellbutrin nearly at the same time I started the Protonix Also, I am not having problems with blurry vision with fine print, especially in the morning: (eading the computer screen or reading a book), and I think it may be related to the meds. I see my pdoc on Thursday, and I will definitely bring it up then.

I am sorry you are not feeling as well today.
A pharmacist may also be a helpful resource for you.


WC

[Unrigged64072835]

Took a muscle relaxer this morning. I usually don't because it makes me drowsy--and it did. There is less pain but it's not all gone yet. Still have problems sitting and leaning.

My husband's fancy plumbing job isn't over yet. Have been without water for almost two hours, and have another two hours left for the glue to cure. The we have to run water into the lines to re-pressurize the system and get any air and crap out. Makes for a long evening. He hopes to have better water flow while we live here, but I just hope he doesn't flood the basement in the process.

Otherwise it's been a quiet day. Daughter did fine with her parking test practice as long as she didn't start overthinking it. She only has to do the maneuver twice for the test so if she can do that she's golden. She's also talking about maybe being hired on as a coach but waiting to see how she actually does on the job first.

I'm doing okay, just not thrilled with not having water at the moment.

[Moose72]

Im feeling sore from judo yesterday. I had to take an hour's nap this afternoon. My youngest is here. He has some party to go to for church but i dont want him to because im terrible with directions. They scare me even if i have a gps- there could be construction etc.

Ive been posting in my blog a lot lately. Some say thats a bad thing but i dont think so. Just means I have something going on.
Im seriously thinking of getting rid of the guy who wanted me to get that tattoo on my back (which I cancelled). He came over last night and all he wanted to do was ask me personalquestions and make out. Blech!

[yellow_fleurs]

I am still having negative thoughts plus simultaneously weirdly happy, and do not feel 100% stable, but the rational voice in my head is getting more air time, and I feel a renewed energy to push back. I have a number of coping skills and things I can do to help myself, but just haven't been able to get a foothold so to speak to climb up. I am hoping this small change will be what I need to take that step. I made a list of things to do each week in terms of sleep, exercise, social engagements, etc. I am filling out a calendar to keep on track and have a good schedule. I decided to try this even though I feel like I don't deserve to feel better right now and hope the rest follows suit. Have not decided what to do with the meds thing yet, but see my pdoc Wednesday. I know I may need them, but also feel like I need a moment alone with myself and no meds after all this. I think I have been on meds for 6 months that have left me feeling unsafe and like I am not in control, and don't even know if I can mentally or emotionally handle another med trial at this moment.

[Moose72]

Im feeling like i want bed now but its barely 630. I didnt take N to his party because i was afraid of getting lost/construction/highways closed etc. Im still on my new meds. I guess the new meds have slowed me down . gotta caal pdoc's nurse tomorrow morning.

[Scooter9]

I felt really bad Saturday... so incredibly depressed and just lousy.

But I had a bunch of things to do... see my mother, paint a room, visit the nursing home, and go out to a family friend's place.

I made it through just by forcing things to happen.

I felt better today - not as low as Saturday. Went out to a park with some friends. There was drinking involved but I stuck to 2 beers and didn't drive home to be safe.

It's raining men. Hallelujah.

[Miss Laura]

Insomnia blows. It's 4am and I haven't slept at all. Been in bed 4 hours. I'm up in 3 hours. Anyone chatting? Need to talk have the urge to talk Lol!

[Wild Coyote]

So tired of c-PTSD!

I need sleep and I need the c-PTSD to settle down.

Peace on Earth!

WC

[bewise93]

I woke up early but also went to bed early. I feel okay today. Drank coffee and took my dog on a walk already.

[Miss Laura]

I saw my Psychiatrist today. He's said I need the meds and I need to take them now or I'm gonna get seriously manic. Says I'm manic now. Says my diagnosis is definetly bipolar type 1. Says I'm showing classic signs. Is gonna see me in 2-3 months time and see my Nurse and get her to see me every 3 weeks rather than normal 4 plus weeks. Gave me a prescription for my meds as he wants me to start for 7 days on lower dosage of meds Depakote 250mg then 500mg and Aririprazole 10mg then 20mg. He also gave me Zopliclone 7.5mg for 7 days for sleep. I was so anxious I didn't even remember to ask for a med for the anxieties go figure.

I got 0 sleep last night was up all night. I feel a little hungover now but feeling ok

[yellow_fleurs]

After stopping the Lamictal yesterday I got very anxious and jittery by the evening. Thought I would go on a walk to try to calm down, but then felt woozy and generally weird. Could not tell if it was the beginning of a panic attack or withdrawal side effects, but got worried I might pass out on the trail or something so went back home. Tried to meditate and while it did not go great it helped a little bit. Talked to my boyfriend after. If I let myself I would have stayed up all night as I was suddenly very wired, but I knew I needed to make myself sleep so laid in bed until I finally fell asleep. Was light and broken sleep, but slept 6-7 hrs. Woke up jittery and like I had already had coffee this morning. Going to work on my paper today and try to just take these possible withdrawal side effects as they come.

I wimped out on telling work. I just put in my two weeks over the computer and don't plan on working during those two weeks. I realized I only worked 14 days all spring/summer, and most of those were only half shifts. I'm still low, and also out of meds. I feel like a little kid who can't do anything without help from someone.

[Daonnachd]

Some time back I contacted the consultants who do anesthesiology for my ECT regarding them writing off a portion of my bill. They said they don't have a patient financial assistance program, so I paid $25 of the $800 I was accruing each treatment every month. The $25 was all I could afford and it kept us from being turned over to collections.

I just found out that they do have a debt write-off program. Each month they forgive $300 for us. I am so very relieved. I thought I was going to have to quit the ECT due to costs.

[Unrigged64072835]

What a day! Just clean, clean, clean all day. Did five loads of laundry, vacuumed and swept the entire main floor, cleaned the half bath, and various other things, plus got groceries for the week. Still need to feed the cat and make dinner.

My husband didn't sleep well last night, drifted in and out of sleep. He took a nap and that didn't help much. He's running on fumes. I'm worried about him.

My daughter is having trouble with the apartment management, mainly because they didn't put the pet charge in the monthly rent bill and then said they were overdue. I just keep telling myself "Not my monkeys, not my circus." She needs to deal with it.

I'm very tired but otherwise okay.

[Blueberrybook]

I'm here today, mostly lurking. I couldn't go running for the 2nd day in a row (rain this morning), and my anxiety is getting high. I hope I can run tomorrow though I think we have rain forecast then too.

I went grocery shopping this morning, have spent most of the afternoon reading.

[Moose72]

I didnt go to judo- severe thunderstorms. I managed to do the dishes but thats it. N comes home from her trip in the morning. I contacted pnurse's nurse this morning like I was told to do. Then she said she'd get ahold of pnurse and get back with me. Hasn't! I hate when people don't do what they say or they're late and don't call etc.

Plus Ive been having huge muscle spasms on my belly all day. Highly annoying.

[pirilin]

I'm putting stuff together. All by my little self.
Well, I get help when it's absolutely necessary. Like when you need four hands.
Put up a 4X6 shed with little help. Just to hang the doors. Which we finished today, la bruja and I. Still missing juice, which I'll do tomorrow.
Also a garage desk. And a big tool box. Little help with the weight though. My good neigboor Dave helped.
This is pleasant surprise to me. I've been all thumbs all my life.
Maybe now that I have mellow down a little, I give a job the time it requires.
Still don't read instructions thought. My hands have destroyed 80% of what they've touch.

I'm aiming to belong to the group of those who love and construct.
And leave the world of those hate and destruct. Not that I hate much.

Good Luck and Cheers.

[Miss Laura]

Yesterday I did loads today I've done nothing. I feel deflated. I'm chatting to these guys which isn't good at all

I lay in bed until 11am been up since 5am. I'm exhausted. But can't sleep

[Blueberrybook]

I'm still here. Not running for 2 days really got to me. I pounded out 10 miles today, and then walked the long way home (another 2 miles). Hypomanic much? I really had to work hard for that 10th mile, but the Type A side of me was not going to give up at 9.25 miles.

Slept about 6 hours. I'm feeling OK. I put in a request to substitute teach for the district my husband works for. It is much larger than the school district my daughter attends, so there will be more chances for job openings. I am going to put in to work in the school cafeteria maybe, but they will not call for an interview until next month as I applied too late. But it depends how being a sub goes, if there are many sub jobs to apply to or not. Either way, it will be a big change for my daughter. I normally take her to & from school, and if I'm a sub, she will have to ride the bus to and from school.

Being a sub doesn't pay much, but it might bring in a little extra money, and we can use all the money we can get.