Here is a brand new thread

[Miss Laura]

I'm feeling anxious I'm all hot and sweaty. I'm worried people can smell me. I was sitting on a bus then in town went to the toilet in shopping centre and started getting massively sweaty. I'm waiting on my Community Support Worker in shopping centre. She's running late. Uh-oh

[bizi]

How old are you?

You could be experiencing menopause symptoms????
bizi

[SorryShaped]

Manic AF. Will have new meds if the insurance approves

So I've been having hallucinations a lot lately... and apparently some paranoid delusions according to my therapist.

We talked today about some of my visual/auditory hallucinations and I explained what they were like. My therapist said, "It's okay. Sometimes people get these things, but you have a re-evaluation soon. Hopefully that re-evaluation will shed some light on what's going on, especially with the visual hallucinations." Then she proceeded to say that one of her bipolar clients 10 years ago had an eyeball for a visual hallucination. She said the eye was sometimes floating in the air--looking the person and blinking.

I couldn't stop laughing. "I guess you can say they had b-eye-polar."

She didn't laugh. Now I feel a little guilty. At least I admitted that I've seen just as freaky things, such as a blurry woman in my bedroom doorway staring down at me as I sat in bed. But no, not b-eye-polar.

Problem Solved

[SorryShaped]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

So I've been having hallucinations a lot lately... and apparently some paranoid delusions according to my therapist.

We talked today about some of my visual/auditory hallucinations and I explained what they were like. My therapist said, "It's okay. Sometimes people get these things, but you have a re-evaluation soon. Hopefully that re-evaluation will shed some light on what's going on, especially with the visual hallucinations." Then she proceeded to say that one of her bipolar clients 10 years ago had an eyeball for a visual hallucination. She said the eye was sometimes floating in the air--looking the person and blinking.

I couldn't stop laughing. "I guess you can say they had b-eye-polar."

She didn't laugh. Now I feel a little guilty. At least I admitted that I've seen just as freaky things, such as a blurry woman in my bedroom doorway staring down at me as I sat in bed. But no, not b-eye-polar.

You have a guardian. Pay attention to her.

F u c K
I just realized that I'm a forum spammer
LoL

Originally Posted by bizi

How old are you?

You could be experiencing menopause symptoms????
bizi

busy busy busy...

we don't ask women their age.

lol lol

I was braught up with that anyway, don't think I'd tell someone if they asked me

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

I'm feeling anxious I'm all hot and sweaty. I'm worried people can smell me. I was sitting on a bus then in town went to the toilet in shopping centre and started getting massively sweaty. I'm waiting on my Community Support Worker in shopping centre. She's running late. Uh-oh

hope your support worker shows upp and that you are okay

[yellow_fleurs]

Still struggling with feeling, well, anything except for slightly irritable. Mostly apathetic. Drinking some coffee and went on a walk. Going to sit here until I--hopefully--get some work done. I feel a little relieved that I decided this is because I am still depressed or having a less-than-ideal response to the medication. Was feeling really down that I might feel this way forever. Well, still a little worried about it. I keep thinking I almost prefer the mood swings, but they weren't safe since I was feeling impulsive/self destructive so need to stop thinking like that. Also feeling guilty about everything again in my life. That is one of the hardest symptoms of depression for me since it makes me feel like I am a bad person who has a negative impact on others. Being personally miserable sucks, but feeling harmful to others is worse for me.

I see my doctor and start therapy next week, so hoping those things will be a step in the right direction. I haven't talked to a therapist since I stopped the CBT. At the same time, not feeling hopeful that therapy will be useful.

Thanks for this thread. I used to journal, but haven't been able to make myself do that. For some reason this is easier since it is a group of us and is really helpful for me to check in with myself.

[Nammu]

Thank you lavender for the new thread.

I did the check in with the Dr T but he can't see me cause he sees my daughter for couples therapy. So Tuesday I start with someone with two first names. I've decided I want to work on my lack of attachment to people as it irritates those around me. Animals I have no problem with, but people...eh, I could live without them.

[Miss Laura]

I'm in my early 30's it's all anxiety related unfortunately.

Originally Posted by bizi

How old are you?

You could be experiencing menopause symptoms????
bizi

[Miss Laura]

She arrived 30 mins late which cut our time to 45 mins as she had to get to the office oh well. I'm fine just anxious as

Originally Posted by raging vortex

hope your support worker shows upp and that you are okay

For the last few days I've been struggling to get out of bed. I managed to do a few things each of the last couple of days, but I did pretty much nothing today. I have a low level deflation in mood. I'm not quite ready to call it depression, because I feel it's mostly just energy, motivation, and anhedonia. I'm not exactly sad or hopeless. I feel like I am just in limbo waiting.

[Unrigged64072835]

Another tiring day.

Was anxious this morning for some reason so I vacuumed the carpets and took out the trash to the curb. Took a shower than saw our pnurse. My husband didn't want to talk because he was already tired from cleaning the old car. I managed to chat a bit and his meds were renewed. After that we picked up the cones so my daughter can practice parallel parking for her driver's test.

The rest of the day was spent between sweating in the garage helping my husband do various things, starting dinner, and talking to my daughter. Her friend came over because his car radio wasn't working right so my husband looked at it and told him to return it. I hope he can come in and finish dinner because this is a dish only he knows how to cook. I can do some of it but not to his satisfaction.

We're hiding in the bedroom after this is done because we're both exhausted.

Mood is kind of all over the place, but kind of expected at this moment.

[Scooter9]

Another feeling low day today.

I was busy though - had to take care of a number of things and my son came along which was very nice. Went to Starbucks together and had lunch out too. I also applied to a job... keeping my fingers crossed.

[Blueberrybook]

I am here. I had a bit of problems with mania today (mostly talking too fast) because I accidentally double took my morning meds. Oops.

Took my daughter to her camp from noon to 3. Went shopping but luckily stuck to a dollar store, paid cash, not a huge purchase. I went back to the college campus to wait on my daughter, answered a few questions on Nextdoor about the local elementary schools and my satisfaction with my daughter's school for someone new to the area and new school dress codes (they are starting mesh/transparent backpacks, limiting purse sizes, etc. this year).

I took my afternoon Klonopin to calm down (it worked) and was able to get a good start on my book club book. Got to make dinner soon. Bummer. I hate to cook with a passion.

I see my pdoc tomorrow morning. Still not sure whether or not I should tell him I think I am hypo.

[hopeless2015]

Things are going better with my husband, thankfully. Our indoor cat has somehow got ****ing fleas! WTF!!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I went through a few years that I remember feeling good but sleeping from 11 pm to 4 AM every night. I spent the early morning hours sewing and doing things I enjoyed. I had a long commute through part of this and I don't remember it being a problem.

When I saw my therapist the other day he mentioned that time and how hard it was on me. He's said that before and I've responded with my memory. This time he just looked at me and said "you don't remember that at all, do you?". I said no and said a bit of what I remember. He just very gently said he is glad I don't remember.

I keep thinking about this. I'm glad that if it was bad that I don't remember as I like thinking I ended work on a positive note mentally (I went off work for surgery and then my bipolar went wild and I never was able to go back).

But it is weird not knowing.

Test sorry. Notifications not working.

[Victoria'smom]

So maybe I'm doing better? I'm still SUI and want to SI but it's not like graphic pictures flashing in my head like before. Does that make any sense? maybe I'm just trying to get out of going to IP? It's not as much I have to do this now. Just ah, I should do x.

I got my sister to graduate her son. So he can get financial aid and start college in the fall. She feels she's being so nice but really she's being a *****. I can't tell her because she'll view me as taking his side. Plus I shouldn't judge because I've never been in her situation. I helped her get everything straightened out to start classes. So we thought but turns out she didn't take the entrance test needed to sign up for classes. So now we have to go back.

The good news: Miguel's June SAT scores came in. He scored a 1230 which means he has the lower scholarship our state offers. So 75% of his tuition to a 4-year state university is paid as long as he maintains a 2.5 gpa. He's going to try again to get the higher scholarship (100% + $600 a year) and into his dream school.

I know it would be bad for everyone if I wasn't here and that I am loved but I feel it's unfair that I have to suffer for their well being.

[bpforever1]

The president of one of the companies I work for is going to attend my class. Oh boy!!! I am anxious. Oh well. I can't do anything about it so will do my best. The company is internationally renowned for its products. I am wondering the reason he is attending my class? But, I even got a call from my dispatch company to warn me he is coming. Argh!! I hope I don't sound like porky pig when I talk. But, I should be fine with focus and a calm mind. I am anxious but flattered he is coming to attend. I bet his English is quite good so he is making sure he is getting his money's worth with these classes for his employees. Besides this, I am doing great!! I am really happy about my life and can't really complain about the weather.

[Cocosurviving]

I was on the phone and e-mailing most of today. Then I sat on the sofa completely still and I actually had racing thoughts. Thoughts of what should I do next. I was just freaking out in my mind. The assistant manager is a b*****. She e-mailed me back and told me to use my renters insurance to cover my damages. 1. This situation was not caused by a natural disaster or act of God. 2. This situation was not caused by a malfunctioning appliance in my unit. 3. This situation was caused by a malfunctioning appliance of the tenant above me and her insurance policy needs to cover my damages. The assistant manager in her e-mail said she had never had anything like this happen. The manager is on vacation until Monday. I do not understand why she would tell me to use my policy when she clearly knows the leak started on the third floor. I have trust issues. I’m calling the NAACP tomorrow.

[Wild Coyote]

I have been doing okay, could be better, could be worse.
Have been able to get out, which has been fun.
Saw a different local band last night. They were very talented.
There are soooo very many free concerts, good ones, available almost every night of the week this summer. I love music.

I have meeting #2 with my new pdoc today. I need to tell her how much our last meeting triggered PTSD. She's already mentioning possible med changes we might consider and is making me nervous. I have tried and re-tried soooooo many meds, I am not game for putting myself through some of the same trials again. It's too hard due to side-effects and is too expensive.

Love to All!

WC