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#401
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Quote:
![]() I will miss you! ![]() I hope you enjoy your trip! ![]() ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Fuzzybear, Sunflower123
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![]() ~Christina
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#402
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I was with my mother most of the day getting her consultation for knee surgery. She had one knee done last year and this is for the other one.
Stressful downtown driving and parking and using waze (gps) helped a lot. Crazy left turns, construction, back to school, it was nuts. But things worked out ok. She's scheduled for March or April now. My mood went from low to lower during the day. Lots of body pains too. I tried having a couple of espressos to try to stop it from getting lower but I just got agitated. Glad I'm back now and off to bed to maybe sleep this off.
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* Dx: Bipolar II (finally, after years at Bipolar NOS) * Rx: minimal dose of Lamictal My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#403
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I am not one to swear often. When I am "mixed," I am tempted to swear a lot!
I have to constantly censor myself, even while writing in public. ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous45023, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835
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#404
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I go to all of my mother's medical appointments, too. Lots of them! I am in lots of pain, too! ![]() I have a great deal of respect for you. I hope you rest peacefully and comfortably tonight! ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous47845, Fuzzybear, Scooter9, Sunflower123
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![]() Scooter9
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#405
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I am so "mixed." I am all over the place with moods in the past 24 hours!
I am all wound up tonight, in a great mood, when I should be sleeping! ![]() Love to All! ![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Cocosurviving, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, wildflowerchild25
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#406
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not sleeping.
flashbacks from hell in a hell of a lot of pain struggling with self- care
Possible trigger:
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![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#407
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Today should hopefully be a calm day. I'm glad that the last few days have been a reprieve from the over three weeks of mood lability I had. I've been enjoying some pleasant little projects that have occupied my time. To top it off, hubby is taking two days off starting tomorrow to make it another long weekend.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#408
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I feel so anxious yet again. I just called the colonoscopy number- yup i screwed up: had to reschedule for November! I forgot to not take my blood thinner for days. I suck. I still feel uber anxious and i have all this paperwork to do.
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Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#409
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Sorry to hear that, WC. How are you feeling now?
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![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#410
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Thanks, Blue!
![]() I didn't get to sleep until 5am. Slept until 8am or so. I am very light-headed from meds today. Lack of good sleep probably does not help. My mood feels unstable, as though it could go in any direction, depending on whatever comes up today. ![]() I am trying to have a quiet day! Thanks again! Much Love to You! ![]() WC
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May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Anonymous45023, Fuzzybear, Nammu, Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
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#411
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Sorry for everyone hurting.
I've had a long day already, and it is just 2 o'clock. Horrible tension headache & hurting all over from fibromyalgia. I feel like I haven't done enough today. Well, I got an unexpected $25 gift card from my pdoc, which was very unexpected. (All that is in a long post about my making some progress.) I feel like I either need to go to sleep or drink some coffee. I am so worn out.
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Bipolar 1, PTSD, anorexia, panic disorder, ADHD Seroquel, Cymbalta, propanolol, buspirone, Trazodone, gabapentin, lamotrigine, hydroxyzine, There's a crack in everything. That is how the light gets in. --Leonard Cohen |
![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#412
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Got really poor sleep last night. I'm supposed to sleep upright for the next 8 weeks until the extreme swelling in my nose goes down, according to the ENT doctor I saw yesterday. I'm also supposed to take some fancy nasal spray twice a day. But well, it's pretty hard to fall asleep when you're sleeping upright.
Also, apparently I self harmed. No idea. I smacked and punched myself in the head for no reason, other than being overwhelmed. Also scratched my head and squeezed my ears really hard to inflict pain. Again, no real reason for it. I'm just overwhelmed, not depressed or manic or mixed. Just overwhelmed... I think it's mostly because my therapist said today that I didn't (mentally) develop properly during my childhood. Then I paced around when I got back to my apartment and kept hitting myself in the head. I also started hitting myself in the head again after being overwhelmed from going out in public to get my prescriptions from Walgreen's. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25, yellow_fleurs
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#413
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Quote:
![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Sunflower123
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#414
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I just got done with a dessert-making bonanza. I made a low sugar virtually non-fat Angel Food Cake with Strawberry Glaze (see Imgur: The magic of the Internet). With the leftover egg yolks, I also made "lower" fat creme brulees that turned out great using light cream instead of heavy cream. That shaved over 100 calories off each creme brulee (Imgur: The magic of the Internet).
I'm resting now, after doing some gardening and watering. It's hot as heck outside. Feeling good and looking forward to trying one of my low guilt desserts. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Nammu, Wild Coyote
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#415
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I’m obsessing over two things today. One, whether I still have a job or not. No word again today. If I don’t hear by Monday I’m going to contact the recruiter I’ve been in touch with and ask if she’s heard anything. I hope I don’t have to wait until Monday though.
I need to KNOW. I hate waiting. Two, I’m not sure what’s going on with my boyfriend. I texted him last night about how we don’t talk anymore and he said it was just because he works all day and then goes to the gym and doesn’t get home till 9:30. Ok I get that but is it too much to ask to give me like ten minutes of your time a day? Then I texted him that I really like him and that I don’t want to lose him and I hope he feels the same and NO RESPONSE. Nothing. I texted him this morning like I always do to wish him a good day and no response to that either. So now I’m like is he thinking of breaking up with me or what? Again if he is I’ll be hurt and upset but I won’t die. But I just want to know so I can move on with my life. I probably won’t hear from him tonight either if he’s gonna he at the gym until 9:30. I don’t know. I really do like him, I’ve been telling myself I love him for two months now, but he doesn’t seem to feel the same way. I just want to know that that’s the case. I need closure on these two things pronto. I’ve been obsessing about both all day long. I hate obsessing. It’s tiring.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real? -Albus Dumbledore That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have. -Garden State |
![]() Anonymous45023, Anonymous46341, Nammu, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, yellow_fleurs
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#416
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![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() I hope you get responses soon. Waiting is very difficult! ![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Sunflower123, wildflowerchild25
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![]() wildflowerchild25
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#417
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Quote:
![]() ![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Sunflower123
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#418
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My son wants to go to and indie development jam this weekend. He wants to go really really bad BUT it will cost us $500. Tickets, hotel, gas, luckily they cover food and drinks. I don't know if we can swing it. It'll look great on his portfolio and resume both he needs to do so he can apply to schools next year. That's just so much money. We've talked about them sleeping in the car but that just sounds unreasonable.
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Dx: Me- SzA Husband- Bipolar 1 Daughter- mood disorder+ Comfortable broken and happy "So I don't know why I'm tongue tied At the wrong time when I need this."- P!nk My blog |
![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#419
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Second day at my new job. Combo tired and anxious, wanted to fall asleep at my desk. I am making myself do the work as best as possible, though, anyways. I feel so fake acting like I am as happy as possible, while inside crying. Tomorrow I have my appointment with my psychiatrist. I might say okay to the therapy. They will probably recommend DBT. I feel depressed and totally hopeless right now, because I just don't see the point since I doubt I will ever feel much better. Might as well try something, but I kind of don't even care anymore. Sorry to sound like such a downer. Hugs to all.
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![]() 4psUche, Anonymous45023, Anonymous47845, Nammu, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#420
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Tried calling my kids and my mom. I figured they were poisoned with biological weapons. So i wanted to go home but i didnt and now i feel guilty. N3 texted me so I feel a little better. But my mom got mad for trying to call her.
__________________
Qui Cantat Bis Orat - He who sings prays twice ingrezza 80 mg Propranolol 40 mg Benztropine 1 mg Vraylar 4.5 mg Risperdal .5 mg ![]() Gabapentin 600 mg Klonopin 1 mg 2x daily |
![]() Sunflower123, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#421
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I did very little today - but I have things to do...just not motivated to do anything.
My pdoc appointment is tomorrow...finally. I made it so that's a good thing. Still feeling down and low. I'm taking the phq-9 depression test [1] and consistently scoring in the severe range. I hope this gets better soon. [1] - PHQ-9 Depression Test Questionnaire | Patient
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* Dx: Bipolar II (finally, after years at Bipolar NOS) * Rx: minimal dose of Lamictal My avatar picture is a photo of the Whirlpool Galaxy I took in April 2023. I dedicated this photo to my sister who passed away in July 2016. |
![]() Anonymous45023, Daonnachd, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#422
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Quote:
What's happening, moose? ![]() WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. ![]() |
![]() Sunflower123
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#423
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Our refrigerator died. The repairman came and charged us $89 to tell us that we should just buy a new one.
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![]() Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, Wild Coyote
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![]() Wild Coyote
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#424
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Saw my T Richard today. Was a good session.
I leave tomorrow for the trip to Florida to see the kids and celebrate the grand baby’s third birthday !!! 14 hours in the car is what I dread. I get totally jacked up on caffeine and energy shots to make the trip. On a great note all the stores have all the summer stuff wicked cheap here. 4 pairs of capris 6 T-shirt’s ( hella hot on Florida) and 2 pair of work out capris. All for less the 30 !! Go me !!!!!
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
![]() Anonymous45023, Sunflower123, Unrigged64072835, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Cocosurviving, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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#425
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Another busy day. Almost have all the recipes from one cookbook done.
Went to the optometrist. Both my husband and I need new regular glasses, and I need computer glasses. Will be looking around for a while. Still need to plan meals and get groceries. Have new GP tomorrow. Long day! |
![]() Anonymous45023, Wild Coyote, wildflowerchild25
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![]() Wild Coyote
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Closed Thread |
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