[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by *Laurie*

I so feel for you. I've gained 125lbs. on Seroquel. Poison. I'm deeply concerned about my health; moving around is becoming difficult. Mental illness is so cruel.

I don't think Seroquel itself is poison. To me, it's been a lifesaver. Everyone reacts differently to these meds. I remember I had a huge problem with weight gain & exhaustion & Remeron (this med is super notorious for that) but there are other people who took it fine.

I've been on Seroquel 2,3 years now. No weight gain. Mostly weight loss with the higher dosage, but I did have that ulcer perforation with a God awful in-hospital treatment (pain like I never knew existed). I lost 10 lb. in 6 days over the course of that hospital treatment. But I'm pretty much healed from the ulcer. Gastro-doc did an upper endoscopy, everything is healing fine. Still can't eat a lot of greasy, fried food, maybe later I can according to gastro-doc, maybe never. But I don't see him again until December.

So not everyone gains on Seroquel. It does knock me out every night (but thank God, because I have trouble sleeping), but I am fine with energy the next day most of the time (if not depressed, on my period, etc.).

Poison to one may well be a lifesaver to others.

Laurie, 125 lbs is indeed an extreme weight gain. Doesn't your psychiatrist consider this issue? My total weight gain while on Seroquel XR over the last 9 years has been 20 lbs, and I've recently lost almost 10 of it with diet and mood changes. I wonder if moods do play some part in some people's large weight gains in addition to a medication. It definitely does seem to be the case that some people react differently to different meds.

It is a possibility that my weight gain over the last 9 years had little to do with Seroquel XR. I'm getting older, chunkiness is in my family, and my activity levels have often been low. I was once around my current weight 16 years ago before I ever took a bipolar medication.

I did have large weight gain on Depakote and Invega, though was also depressed long-term on that combo. I will never take either of those meds again, not just because of weight gain, but other side effects from each, too.

[Blueberrybook]

I'm here hoping for a better day than yesterday. At least, I planned my meals yesterday before the crying spree as well as managed to shop curbside via the computer, which I've found cuts down my impulse shopping, helping to save money.

I finally could do some jogging this morning, not as much as I wanted because it started pouring rain.

Don't know if this is a good thing or not, and I did do this ages ago and it seemed to help some, but my husband is on me again to work on thinking positive and if I can't voice a positive thought, keep it to myself. Not about big things, but grumbling about having to wash the sheets, make meals, be the only person who ever takes care of our 3 cats, stuff like that. When I complained that I didn't get to jog as much as I wanted to, he basically said, "But at least you did get to jog some today. Think on the positive side." And he was right about that. The last time I did this, it did finally make me realize practically everything I said was negative and nothing positive and made me more mindful of thinking of positive things to converse about. Maybe it will help again. We'll see. I'm not sure why I stopped trying to think positively; it could have been before my daughter was born, and afterwards, I was a complete zombie with a new baby in the house.

I've been eating about 200-300 calories a day because i have a burning sensation in my stomach that puts me off from eating. (I'm not hungry from it; plus it hurts.) However, I know it's chronic inflammation of my stomach spinchter because I had an endoscopy last year that confirmed the site of the inflammation, so it's nothing new. It's just my stomach acting up.

Idk how much weight I've lost. I think 1.2 lbs... but I was already around 101-102 lb to begin with. I'm not exercising, either, so it's not like I'm exercising AND not eating. It's just me not eating. I don't want to eat.

I have to go back to the GI doctor, but idk if my insurance will cover it. That's the thing. It totally sucks. Best I can do is visit my GP, but I doubt she'll do anything besides tell me to see a GI doctor. *sigh* I feel like I'll be wasting my time.

[Cocosurviving]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Laurie, 125 lbs is indeed an extreme weight gain. Doesn't your psychiatrist consider this issue? My total weight gain while on Seroquel XR over the last 9 years has been 20 lbs, and I've recently lost almost 10 of it with diet and mood changes. I wonder if moods do play some part in some people's large weight gains in addition to a medication. It definitely does seem to be the case that some people react differently to different meds.

It is a possibility that my weight gain over the last 9 years had little to do with Seroquel XR. I'm getting older, chunkiness is in my family, and my activity levels have often been low. I was once around my current weight 16 years ago before I ever took a bipolar medication.

I did have large weight gain on Depakote and Invega, though was also depressed long-term on that combo. I will never take either of those meds again, not just because of weight gain, but other side effects from each, too.

I gained 100lbs on Zoloft and my psychiatrist did not say one word. At first I did not notice. I’ve never been the type of person to weigh theirself regularly. Then I noticed my clothes not fitting. I had to dig and find my scale. I thought I would have a heart attack when I seen the numbers. The had never been that number even when pregnant. I made an appointment with my pdoc and tapered off Zoloft. I joined Weight Watchers. I’ve lost 38lbs however now I’m restricted to gluten free.

Edit: I was on Zoloft for one year and each time before my pdoc appointment. I would get my vitals and weight checked. I never asked my weight. The person would just put it the computer and tell me my blood pressure was good. I get my weight every time now lesson learned and I weigh at home every two weeks.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

do you use a SAD lamp? My pdoc has had me start using it about this early when I was going into SAD time already severely depressed. I think it helped some.

I don't but it is on my list for this year possibly. I have been considering it for years and just never tried it. Going to ask my doctor this week when I see him if he agrees it's a good idea. I was previously wondering how it is for mixed episodes and if it could make mine worse, but I think I am mostly depressed at this point and need to prevent the seasonal depression as much as possible.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I've been eating about 200-300 calories a day because i have a burning sensation in my stomach that puts me off from eating. (I'm not hungry from it; plus it hurts.) However, I know it's chronic inflammation of my stomach spinchter because I had an endoscopy last year that confirmed the site of the inflammation, so it's nothing new. It's just my stomach acting up.

Idk how much weight I've lost. I think 1.2 lbs... but I was already around 101-102 lb to begin with. I'm not exercising, either, so it's not like I'm exercising AND not eating. It's just me not eating. I don't want to eat.

I have to go back to the GI doctor, but idk if my insurance will cover it. That's the thing. It totally sucks. Best I can do is visit my GP, but I doubt she'll do anything besides tell me to see a GI doctor. *sigh* I feel like I'll be wasting my time.

That sounds concerning. Can your GP give you a referral to a GI doctor so it can be covered?

[BeyondtheRainbow]

the lamp I have allows me to adjust the intensity and time I am getting the light which helps prevent it from throwing me into mania or mixed. I only use it when we are pretty sure it is safe and back off immediately if my mood goes up. Some years I use it and some I don't. It helps when I use it but it also is good to not use it sometimes.

Mine is apparently no longer sold. This is the closest choice I found from the same manufacturer. Amazon.com: Philips goLITE BLU Energy Light Therapy Lamp, (HF3422/60): Health & Personal Care

[yellow_fleurs]

Thanks so much! I will check into it That make sense about backing off if you feel your mood goes up and adjusting the time/intensity.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by bluebicycle

I've been eating about 200-300 calories a day because i have a burning sensation in my stomach that puts me off from eating. (I'm not hungry from it; plus it hurts.) However, I know it's chronic inflammation of my stomach spinchter because I had an endoscopy last year that confirmed the site of the inflammation, so it's nothing new. It's just my stomach acting up.

Idk how much weight I've lost. I think 1.2 lbs... but I was already around 101-102 lb to begin with. I'm not exercising, either, so it's not like I'm exercising AND not eating. It's just me not eating. I don't want to eat.

I have to go back to the GI doctor, but idk if my insurance will cover it. That's the thing. It totally sucks. Best I can do is visit my GP, but I doubt she'll do anything besides tell me to see a GI doctor. *sigh* I feel like I'll be wasting my time.

That is concerning. Even more concerning is that you are bothering to count calories while eating next to nothing. I could be mistaken but didn't you also post somewhere you have an eating disorder (anorexia, it sounds like). Do you think you might be using this as a convenient excuse not to eat? I think you need to see an ED specialist. People don't just say, oh, look, I lost exactly 1.2 lb. in a week, I guess? Know what I mean? Being so exact like that? Your weight is low & bad. You know that, I'm sure. A woman needs to eat around 1500/day if sedentary to MAINTAIN weight. Normal people trying to diet and lose weight eat 1200 cal/day. If you are active, you need to eat somewhere in the area of 2000 cal/day, maybe more. I really, really think you need to see the ED people about the anorexia. I don't think it's GI. I think it's your eating disorder trying to convince you it is GI.

I'm not one to talk. My weight is low too. It's bad actually. I usually tack on a couple of pounds when the pdoc asks about it. For a long time, I maintained at a very low weight a lot of my adulthood without trying. My metabolism was just different after recovery, I ended up with a low set-point weight. I had a normal pregnancy, normal 25 lb. expected weight gain and then couldn't keep weight on while breastfeeding especially as I did self-weaning, and until my daughter was around 2.5 year old, most of her calories came from breastmilk each day. She was very slow to take to foods.

I was doing fine, a low-normal weight for my height until I had all those ulcer issues. Then, after getting home from 6 days in the hospital (treatment of perforated duodenal ulcers is torture, pretty much), I saw I had lost 10 lb., and that got the ED ball rolling again. I have bills, a lot of stress, can't work, can't get benefits due to lack of work history and my husband's teacher income putting us above poverty level. I have been so, so stressed out and anxious, and that has caused me to overexercise a lot. I don't count calories, but I do know I am not eating the diet a long distance runner my age, sex, and height should be eating. So I exercise so much, I can't keep up with the calories, end up with the deficit, weight lost, ED celebrating.

I really, really hope you get some help for the anorexia. I am not one to talk because I really, really need to get some help for the anorexia I have too because it's bad. People are starting to say things, and that is never a good sign.

You need to take care of yourself. You need a pdoc, an eating disorders team/hospital, don't kid yourself about the GI doc.

When I don't want to a food or something, I will tend to make up an excuse about not being able to eat it post ulcer surgery.

But usually, that is all it is - an excuse. Though not greasy fried foods. Have had horrible long bouts of diarrhea after eating those. Which of course for a person with an ED, you weigh less on the scale, losing that water weight.

And though I know what the ED tells me is wrong, I get freaking happy when the number is less than 100 lb. on the scale even though I know my very minimal weight should be 115 lb., maybe 110 lb. if I were on the thinner side. At these weights, losing 5 lb. makes you look like you lost 20 and aged 20 years as well. I'm not sure of your age (though EDs don't discriminate by age as I'm 40, and it's still messing with my head). But I think I'm turning to it because I have so many things in my life beyond my control, and the exercise is the one thing I CAN control.

Please take a good, hard look inward. If the GI doc found something wrong, then go find a dietician or nutritionist who can tell you what foods are least likely to affect your condition. If you can't afford that, I have a feeling if you Google long enough, you can find something like good diets for whatever your condition.

And why would the GI doc not put you on medication? Mine is lecturing me so much, I will probably be on Protonix the rest of my life.

[Blueberrybook]

I am happy to say I am having a better day than yesterday, when I was crying nearly all afternoon. Horrible day. Pdoc has upped the Wellbutrin (after talking to me on the phone yesterday). I have an appt. Sept. 5, so we'll see how I am then. I think I also have PMS which while not the cause of the long crying jag, probably didn't help it out any either.

Picked up groceries and prepped all the fresh fruits & veggies. If I don't prep them (especially the vegetables meant for snacks or to easily throw into a salad with dinner) ASAP, they often don't get eaten.

I'm making a 10 bean soup with sausage for dinner. Not really cold soup weather here (almost never is, this part of Texas), but I had the beans & the seasoning and it was due to expire soon. So that has been consuming my time off & on this afternoon. Probably my daughter won't eat it with her sensory issues; I'll probably just open canned beans for her protein and then give her fruit, veggies, yogurt, cheese. Oh, and I'm sure she'll eat the bread (refrigerated so no real work except the oven). It is the type of food I much prefer for the winter, but now with money so tight, we can't afford to waste much food.

Watched an episode of a show on my iPad this afternoon. I read a little and think I will read some more as it looks like I have 30 minutes before I need to re-attend to this soup, which is practically holding me hostage carrying around a timer all day.

My daughter has been in a good mood today (always makes the day easier, puberty is definitely NOT the most fun stage of parenting). My husband has been trying to work out a budget, see where we may have a little wiggle room here or there though it is hard because life is life, unexpected things happen like car repairs, house repairs, dental bills, after 10 years the HOA got upset you could see a window AC unit into our garage from the road, sent us a nasty letter about it, and then my husband had to spend money building a privacy fence around the AC unit. Get a life, stupid HOA. This neighborhood was built in the 1960s. First, La Porte is hardly the swankiest suburb of Houston, and this neighborhood is definitely not where the rich folks of La Porte live. And for something of 10 years to suddenly cause a drive-by inspection to notice a violation (true, it is an HOA policy violation), but it hasn't bothered anyone in this neighborhood for a decade and suddenly they want to make an issue out of it? Just stupid stuff like that. I hope this privacy fence (which is partial) will be enough to satisfy the HOA (I mean really, our HOA dues are $30/yr). Otherwise, I think I might have a very irate husband suddenly attending HOA meetings.

Originally Posted by cln1812

That is concerning. Even more concerning is that you are bothering to count calories while eating next to nothing. I could be mistaken but didn't you also post somewhere you have an eating disorder (anorexia, it sounds like). Do you think you might be using this as a convenient excuse not to eat? I think you need to see an ED specialist. People don't just say, oh, look, I lost exactly 1.2 lb. in a week, I guess? Know what I mean? Being so exact like that? Your weight is low & bad. You know that, I'm sure. A woman needs to eat around 1500/day if sedentary to MAINTAIN weight. Normal people trying to diet and lose weight eat 1200 cal/day. If you are active, you need to eat somewhere in the area of 2000 cal/day, maybe more. I really, really think you need to see the ED people about the anorexia. I don't think it's GI. I think it's your eating disorder trying to convince you it is GI.

I'm not one to talk. My weight is low too. It's bad actually. I usually tack on a couple of pounds when the pdoc asks about it. For a long time, I maintained at a very low weight a lot of my adulthood without trying. My metabolism was just different after recovery, I ended up with a low set-point weight. I had a normal pregnancy, normal 25 lb. expected weight gain and then couldn't keep weight on while breastfeeding especially as I did self-weaning, and until my daughter was around 2.5 year old, most of her calories came from breastmilk each day. She was very slow to take to foods.

I was doing fine, a low-normal weight for my height until I had all those ulcer issues. Then, after getting home from 6 days in the hospital (treatment of perforated duodenal ulcers is torture, pretty much), I saw I had lost 10 lb., and that got the ED ball rolling again. I have bills, a lot of stress, can't work, can't get benefits due to lack of work history and my husband's teacher income putting us above poverty level. I have been so, so stressed out and anxious, and that has caused me to overexercise a lot. I don't count calories, but I do know I am not eating the diet a long distance runner my age, sex, and height should be eating. So I exercise so much, I can't keep up with the calories, end up with the deficit, weight lost, ED celebrating.

I really, really hope you get some help for the anorexia. I am not one to talk because I really, really need to get some help for the anorexia I have too because it's bad. People are starting to say things, and that is never a good sign.

You need to take care of yourself. You need a pdoc, an eating disorders team/hospital, don't kid yourself about the GI doc.

When I don't want to a food or something, I will tend to make up an excuse about not being able to eat it post ulcer surgery.

But usually, that is all it is - an excuse. Though not greasy fried foods. Have had horrible long bouts of diarrhea after eating those. Which of course for a person with an ED, you weigh less on the scale, losing that water weight.

And though I know what the ED tells me is wrong, I get freaking happy when the number is less than 100 lb. on the scale even though I know my very minimal weight should be 115 lb., maybe 110 lb. if I were on the thinner side. At these weights, losing 5 lb. makes you look like you lost 20 and aged 20 years as well. I'm not sure of your age (though EDs don't discriminate by age as I'm 40, and it's still messing with my head). But I think I'm turning to it because I have so many things in my life beyond my control, and the exercise is the one thing I CAN control.

Please take a good, hard look inward. If the GI doc found something wrong, then go find a dietician or nutritionist who can tell you what foods are least likely to affect your condition. If you can't afford that, I have a feeling if you Google long enough, you can find something like good diets for whatever your condition.

And why would the GI doc not put you on medication? Mine is lecturing me so much, I will probably be on Protonix the rest of my life.

Truthfully, I was up to 107 lbs at one point, but then I started losing weight when my stomach started acting up (this started a while back, and it's an on-off thing). I would come close to throwing up, I'd have dizziness, and my balance would be way off. I lost about 1.7 lbs one week, then 2, then... etc. etc.. I'd rather not eat than vomit, as vomiting gives me severe panic attacks. (There was one time I was throwing up blood and bile and had to be rushed to the ER, and now I'm afraid that'll happen again.)

But no, I never posted that I had an ED. You might be mistaking me for someone else.

I am actually on medication for my allergic esophagitis and my stomach spinchter inflammation, but I don't take meds for it because I'm afraid of them. I have a protonix Rx too. There are lots of negative health indications with Protonix and other GERD medications, such as stomach cancer, and there can be withdrawal reflux, so I'm afraid of touching it. I don't want it. I stopped taking it after 2 weeks. Plus, polyps can occur with using it for too long and I heard it can affect your QT interval.

I want a permanent solution, even if it means surgery. I don't want protonix.

When I say 200-300 calories, I basically mean that I'll eat the equivalent of a bowl of cereal and that's it, so I'm guessing it's ballpark around 200-300. And even when I *do* eat a bowl of cereal, I get mild pain. I just don't want that Protonix Rx with all those negative implications. And actually, if I eat more than 200-300 calories, I start getting intensified pain. I don't know if more food causes more reflux or what, but I'm still not taking protonix for it. I'd rather count calories than take protonix (no offense), and I'll probably keep doing that calorie counting for a while. I don't mind associating calorie count with weight loss because at least I know losing 1.2 lbs is associated with eating 200-300 calories a day. I can slow the weight loss down, for example, by eating 500-600 calories a day, and that would be an improvement. But the pain is there.

I get a bad burning sensation in my stomach. I don't know if it's from hunger or inflammation, or both. It feels like someone poured gasoline in my stomach and lit it on fire, or someone scratching it with sandpaper from the inside.

But nope, I'm not active anymore. I have no excuse for that. I just don't work out at all because I'm lazy and let work take over my life. I pretty much lay in my bed and watch YouTube and/or post on the forums. lol.

I'm 27, btw since you asked.

Thanks for your response

[Scooter9]

Lots of activity here in this thread lately!

Spent time with my mother today driving around looking at houses shes thinking of buying in the future. She lives in an apartment in the city and wants to move into the country in a couple of years so she's looking around.

I'm still feeling low and depressed but looking forward to my pdoc appointment next week.

[pirilin]

I'm back home from Hawaii.
Very happy with the trip. Also very tired.
We flew almost 24hrs today. With the lay overs.

Superman's birdseye view of the islands coming up soon.
Just not today. Ta ta!.

[Blueberrybook]

Sorry bluebicycle confused you with another person on the ED check-in thread with blue in the username.

I do think you should take the medication. If you don't want Protonix, they have other things to try. My gastro-doc wants me on Protonix & it happened when the trauma surgeons operated on me, they consulted one of the top gastro-docs in the Houston area and my surgery was a bit weird because I had a higher muscle to fat ratio, and they had to vary some parts of the operation. He did mention a possibility of going to some other stuff after awhile, but I can't remember if it was prescription or OTC.

Even without an eating disorder, you don't eat, you lose weight, lose muscle, get too underweight, all the same bad effects of anorexia hit your body just the same. Osteopenia (yep, I got that one, after the age of 30, you can't usually reverse it). Infertility for some, hair loss, languno, problems with your heart (which can be permanent), etc.

So you should work your hardest to resolve the problem sooner rather than later.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by pirilin

I'm back home from Hawaii.

Very happy with the trip. Also very tired.

We flew almost 24hrs today. With the lay overs.


Superman's birdseye view of the islands coming up soon.

Just not today. Ta ta!.

So happy your back ! 24 hours ? Argh I would be a hot mess

[Moreta]

I did a lot yesterday. Went to church and went to a cookout last night. Between church and the cookout I spent time making potato salad that everyone really liked. Well except my friend. I always forget she can't have onions and I really onioned the potato salad up. whoops. I'm even having a bit of a issue from it this morning ha. I'm glad I made more than what I was originally going to take because my friend said her friend was going to make some and I figured they'd use reg mayo and I can't have that since it's all made with soybean oil. I marinated some chicken wings and people liked them too.

I feel horrible but every time I go somewhere I have to take my own food since I'm allergic to the world. Then my food is usually better than their food. I usually end up sending people recipes when I get home. haha. People keep yelling me I need to open a restaurant. lol

I'm just glad I actually felt well to go out yesterday.

Today I start colonoscopy prep. Can't eat anything after breakfast today. Bleh.

[Blueberrybook]

I went jogging a little this morning, and it started pouring rain, so I had to come back in. Walking or running in hard rain has a tendency to mess up my contact lenses, sometimes make them fall out, other times go into the whites of my eyes, and then I can't see well at all. I'm a -10 in contact lenses in each eye. So no running in the rain for me.

I'm sick of getting rained on while jogging. It helps my stress. It has been very dry here this summer (usually there tend to be showers in the afternoons). Now it is raining day after day after day and more predicted. Ugh.

I'm worried the police will show up to investigate the CPS case. I need to read the booklet ASAP and read more about my rights online. The investigation was opened because of "mental health concern", but I never wrote or did anything to indicate I'd injure my daughter, she is perfectly healthy, if she has any bruising, it's just small stuff such a running into something while playing, nothing major or noticeable at first site except maybe mosquito bites. The CPS worker didn't even tell me what the "mental health concern" in my case is and how it might be harmful to my daughter.

I didn't realize I had the right to an attorney & didn't have to talk at all without a court order, so I admitted to my diagnoses, signed a release for CPS to talk to my pdoc, and now everything I've read online says don't do anything the CPS orders without a lawyer and/or warrant/court order.

I am so nervous about this "psychological assessment" CPS wants me to take. I have read online that they look for all the negatives in the parenting area, not the positives. I've also read they often want you to take a drug test. I don't use illicit drugs, smoke, or drink alcohol, but I have read that several of my prescriptions could show false positives on drug tests.

[Moose72]

CLn1812

-10! That's a lot! I'm at -4 and I think I'm blind.

Keep reading. You are a very intelligent woman!

[scatterbrained04]

Had a good evening last night and went out to dinner. Today I'm going to my parents' for a Labor Day cookout/ baby shower. Should be a good time. All and all feel pretty good except feel a bit guilty for being so lazy this weekend.

[Moose72]

All Im doing today is paying bills and figuing out dhs stuff. Oh how FUUUUUUNNNNN! (But maybe I'll get to watch my show? Im feeling like anxiety here at starbucks- ears closing up head spinning swooning etc. But I dont know if I should take ativan because I can't drive on it.)

[zijax]

We had a 3 1/2 hour rafting trip planned yesterday but my husband pulled a muscle in his back so we stayed home. We didn't get a refund but we have tickets coming in the mail for any other time we want to go.

My son and his gf left today. I am sad and tired but grateful to have seen them.

I have decided to take that poetry class at the University. Yay!

[yellow_fleurs]

Maybe in an existential crisis, maybe just my depression. Who knows? Do I go in deeper to get out and find peace and resolve it, or do I just engage in activities until I am more present in the world, even though it feels counterintuitive and therefore stop the feeling? Anyone else been here? Hope I am not in to far to get out of it.

Quote I found that helps explain how I feel on this existential journey. Seems a bit dramatic, but felt it was a good description overall

"He enters into a labyrinth, he multiplies a thousandfold the dangers which life brings with it; not the least of which is that no one can see how and where he loses his way, becomes lonely, and is torn piecemeal by some Minotaur of conscience. Assuming such a person perishes, this happens so far from the comprehension of men that they neither feel it nor sympathize:—and he cannot go back any longer! nor can he go back to the pity of men! " Nietzsche

Doing alright, though anxiety is sky high. That always happens when everything is in the air, and boy is it ever!

I posed a credit report/credit score question in finances, but worry that it is not terribly active in that forum, so is it ok to put a link to it?
credit report, credit score -- clueless, help! Super-basic question (looking for reputable site and trying possibly to understand why a credit report would not include a credit score). Hell, I don't even know if I HAVE one, lol! (I don't have a credit card or pay anything in installments). Fear of the unknown. Ugh.

The weather has cooled off, which is great. But O.M.G. the anxiety... I just want to get past this very mixed up time and get settled down again.

Hugs to all!

[Scooter9]

I had a beer today... just for the sake of it.

I'm taking my mother in tomorrow for an assessment of her knee for knee replacement surgery. She already had one done and is getting the other one done.

It's a lot of stressful downtown driving and parking in the middle of the day but it should be ok.

Feeling depressed and low but my appointment with my pdoc draws closer so that's a good thing at least (that's assuming she adjusts my meds but I'll think about that during the appointment).