[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by rose1985

How much are you decreasing at a time?

Just .25 mg. This is supposed to be done very slowly, even over a couple of years. This was the first step down.

I may ask my pdoc for script for .5 mg tabs so I can lower it .125 at a time (if my math is right there; hard to do math on clozaril).

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

So yesterday when I said I was through the worst of the klonopin withdrawal for this dose I was wrong. I was operating under the influence of Pepto bismal and when it wore off I got sick again. So more Pepto, an angry stomach and I'm wake after a desperate run to the bathroom.

My pdoc told me to stop the taper if I wasn't better in a few days. I think that was Thursday. But I've made it this far and I hate to have to start over. I think I'll go through this week's pill box and decide then.

I don't know what I expected but I thought the first drop would be easy. I was wrong.

(((((( BeyondtheRainbow ))))))

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Just .25 mg. This is supposed to be done very slowly, even over a couple of years. This was the first step down.

I may ask my pdoc for script for .5 mg tabs so I can lower it .125 at a time (if my math is right there; hard to do math on clozaril).

You could try going on diazepam and decreasing even slower.

Today my phone made a noise not uttered by a phone since the nineties. An exorcism requires an old priest and a young priest, so I posted want ads on craigslist. Priests of all ages read craigslist.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by rose1985

You could try going on diazepam and decreasing even slower.

I am super sensitive to diazepam. Just 1.25 mg of it completely knocks me out which is great when I"m mixed (it takes more then but it gives me an option when nothing else works). I think I even have a bottle of liquid diazepam from when we tried to see exactly what dose was tolerable. It didn't work.

Thanks for the idea though!

[Moreta]

Something is wrong. I've been feeling anxious lately. There's no reason to feel anxious. When I lay down the anxiety goes away though. Have been tracking my heart rate when this happens. Did it this morning. Took my hr laying down - 78 bpm, standing up - 127 bpm, laying down - 77 bpm. There really shouldn't be a 50 bpm difference. That's not how this works. ha. Yes I see my GP on Wednesday. tbh this has been going on for a few months, but it wasn't every day like it is now. It's really lame. I hate laying down all the time. There's a syndrome called POTS, Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, that makes this happen. I hope it's not that. I swear to god my whole mother ****ing body is falling apart. I wish I could make it stop. I'd like to do things again, eat anything I want to, and I'd really like for my joints to stop feeling like they're coming apart. Like having bipolar wasn't enough to deal with. bleh.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Moreta

Something is wrong. I've been feeling anxious lately. There's no reason to feel anxious. When I lay down the anxiety goes away though. Have been tracking my heart rate when this happens. Did it this morning. Took my hr laying down - 78 bpm, standing up - 127 bpm, laying down - 77 bpm. There really shouldn't be a 50 bpm difference. That's not how this works. ha. Yes I see my GP on Wednesday. tbh this has been going on for a few months, but it wasn't every day like it is now. It's really lame. I hate laying down all the time. There's a syndrome called POTS, Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, that makes this happen. I hope it's not that. I swear to god my whole mother ****ing body is falling apart. I wish I could make it stop. I'd like to do things again, eat anything I want to, and I'd really like for my joints to stop feeling like they're coming apart. Like having bipolar wasn't enough to deal with. bleh.

It may be one of your meds youre on.

Today, I found out that we have taste buds in our throats.

When I used my prescription Dymista nasal spray this morning, it all dripped into the back of my throat. It tastes like that taste you get from sucking on a Tylenol pill. Mmmm... I love that raw medicine flavor... NOT.

Why must we have taste buds in our throats? I think the tongue tastebuds are more than enough!

In other news, terrible sleep. I can't sleep at an angle like my ENT doctor wants me to. So all that's been happening is me drifting in and out of sleep all night, every night. I want my nose to be fixed, but to sleep like this for the next 7 weeks is going to kill me. I could barely handle this week!

having the " don't care attitude" today

don't feel terrible but could be feeling so much better

[Moose72]

Up before 530. Ill be dragon later. Its a judo night but i am torn after saturday's extreme dizziness. Hal....dol.... Haaaaaldooooollllllllll.....

[pjwilly]

I am ok. A few days into a bump in Seroquel from 300 to 450mg. Likely going to 600mg. Have been at 600mg before. Hoping it might help this awful dragging out depression, anxiety, and kicked up PTSD due to the abuse in the Catholic church in the news so much lately.

[Moose72]

Saw T just a few minutes ago. Was good. Didnt take notes though. Ugh.

[otroo]

Had a killer day yesterday. The wife and I went for a drive and I found a new to me mountain road to run my Mustang on really hard even drifted a few corners. Afterwards we went home and decided to go watch a movie so off we went. We had a nice dinner afterwards. Good overall weekend.

[Blueberrybook]

Yesterday was a hard day for me.

Today, I don't know. Can't tell if I'm mixed or depressed. I ran too much again this morning, maybe to make up for not exercising yesterday or for the fact that I have an early pdoc appointment, so I can't exercise as much tomorrow tomorrow (about a 40 minute drive each way, though it is a fairly easy drive especially if you are not taking it during rush hour), plus the chance of rain is 90% tomorrow. The pdoc did call and leave a voicemail that he had filled out the disability form. Don't know if it will help with state aid but it might with mental health things, so I can pick the form up at the front desk tomorrow at my pdoc appointment.

I am just finishing breakfast, and it is almost lunch time. Maybe I'll have to have mini-meals to make up for the late breakfast, which was the result of the long run and needing a shower afterwards. But it is a normal type breakfast, normal everything bagel with cream cheese (not reduced fat). I should just probably make up a protein shape and drink it while I browse the insurance website, seeing if I can find a dietitian.

[hopeless2015]

Little dip on mood last couple days. Just PMS I'm sure. Periods have been all over the place this year. Been to gyno, everything is fine, just getting to that age..nothing I can do but deal with it. Called in sick to work though..uggg

Hugs to all

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by hopeless2015

Little dip on mood last couple days. Just PMS I'm sure. Periods have been all over the place this year. Been to gyno, everything is fine, just getting to that age..nothing I can do but deal with it. Called in sick to work though..uggg

Hugs to all

Sorry you've been having a tough time.

Always interested in hearing how you are doing!


WC

[Daonnachd]

Hey, all.
I'm off work today - I'm always off Mondays - which is a good thing considering how sore and tired I am after the move. Emotionally I feel raw, but it's not bipolar turmoil, it's tied to grief. I'm grateful to have the day off.

[yellow_fleurs]

Overall doing pretty well! My new job is even making me more energized and focused. It's a good environment and lots of exciting stuff to learn. Some occasional dips in mood and intrusive/negative thoughts, but I haven't been spiraling too deep. I think some of this is related to being on a good part of my hormone cycle, so probably won't last past a week, but also this time last month I was still feeling irritable and raw, and getting in random rages. So, maybe a coincidence, but I am thinking stopping that lamotrigine was a good call. It is such a relief to be able to drive without wanting to punch a steering wheel after 10 sec at a red light. And just to be able to sit mostly still/not feel the desire to rip off my skin is refreshing haha. Fingers crossed I get a nice stretch of this. Sending hugs to everyone who wants/needs them.

[Scooter9]

I painted my bathroom a couple of weeks ago. I removed the tape I had put up around the door, baseboards, shower, etc and did touchup painting today. It's pretty much done now...finally.

I slept more than 12 hours (again). This is getting out of hand. I have no idea how I'll get back into the routine when I find work again. One thing at a time, I guess.

Mood-wise, I'm still feeling down but maybe not as low since I'm hopeful that the Modafinil I started a few days ago is going to help. I have been adjusting the dose up from 50mg trying to find what works for me (my pdoc wants me to go to 200mg).

[Daonnachd]

Yes, I'm posting twice on this thread in one day, but I just realised how lucky I am to have the relationship I do with my siblings. We love each other tremendously and though my brother has a hard time with the bipolar diagnosis my sis and I carry, all my siblings provide excellent support. That is a huge benefit to me right now. With this in the forefront of my mind, the day has gotten significantly brighter.

[Moose72]

The last 24 hour's been no fun. (See my latest blog post) but i did see T today so I guess she got me to elaborate.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Moose72

The last 24 hour's been no fun. (See my latest blog post) but i did see T today so I guess she got me to elaborate.

Sorry for such a bad day. Was your T able to help you any?

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

Yes, I'm posting twice on this thread in one day, but I just realised how lucky I am to have the relationship I do with my siblings. We love each other tremendously and though my brother has a hard time with the bipolar diagnosis my sis and I carry, all my siblings provide excellent support. That is a huge benefit to me right now. With this in the forefront of my mind, the day has gotten significantly brighter.

I am so glad you have that closeness with your siblings.

I have 2 sisters, both younger than I am, neither with an MI diagnosis. But they are such a great support. I count them among my very tiny list of friends.

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I am so glad you have that closeness with your siblings.

I have 2 sisters, both younger than I am, neither with an MI diagnosis. But they are such a great support. I count them among my very tiny list of friends.

I'm glad you have them, especially right now. It's heartwarming to know that a sibling loves you and would do anything for you. ...Or would be willing to if she weren't recovering from surgery. We are fortunate; not everyone has good relationships with their siblings.

[Moose72]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

Sorry for such a bad day. Was your T able to help you any?

Yes actually. She asked me lots of questions. Had me elaborate about my episode last night.