[Faltering]

I looked online for my blood test results and it turns out they sent it to the wrong doctor. I'm trying to sort that out. I'm still hearing voices but I can't figure out what my mood is. Maybe I'm stable. Is it possible to be stable and hear voices?

[xRavenx]

My mom shared with me some problems she had when I was born, and I cannot help but wonder if it was a factor in me developing Bipolar Disorder. She nearly died of the flu, and I was in the wrong position, where she needed to have an emergency C-section due to coughing so much, so I was born early. I was kept in the hospital away from her for a period of time.

I read a few research articles that said that having the flu (true influenza) and fever could actually increase the probability of Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, and other disorders in infants. I just found it interesting, because I wonder if it explains anything in my case.

Anyway, I'm feeling on the low side. All weekend, I have just basically stayed in bed, with the exception of having some coffee and eating.
Hugs to everyone.

[pirilin]

I'm fine. Mighty fine. Never better.
I do what I want, when I want to. If I want to.
Everything keeps going my way.
I must be about to die.
They say when you're in my state of mind, you are asking permission to land.
Bring it on.

Good luck, Cheers.

[wildflowerchild25]

Preparing for Tennessee. We are now staying an extra night because my sister in law got fired from her job. It was her own fault, she called out on her second day of work and left early on her third day of work. She really hated the job so I guess it’s all for the best.

I’m happy to be spending thanksgiving with the in laws this year. My family thanksgivings aren’t that fun. I have to deal with my nasty uncle and his nasty boys. Hear them talk down to my aunt and just be generally rude and negative. I’ll have to deal with them for Christmas but that’s better because we have the distraction of gifts. My in laws are much more pleasant.

I’m taking my son out for dinner for his birthday today and then it’s the end of the birthday festivities until we get to Tennessee lol.

Hugs to all that need them!

[Wild Coyote]

Struggled to do some holiday baking this morning.
I wish I could say I find this enjoyable and I usually do; however, I am too fatigued and in too much pain to keep pushing myself. Thing is, the holiday is happening! It is going to occur right here for family. There is no getting around it!

We will also have company for a couple of nights. This means getting their meals, etc. I love having them visit; it just feels like too much this year.

I am trying to take it all a step at a time.

I am getting more anxious the closer we get to the holiday.

Love to All!

WC

[Blue_Bird]

Originally Posted by Faltering

I looked online for my blood test results and it turns out they sent it to the wrong doctor. I'm trying to sort that out. I'm still hearing voices but I can't figure out what my mood is. Maybe I'm stable. Is it possible to be stable and hear voices?

I'm diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar type. Schizoaffective is when you have psychotic symptoms even when your mood is stable and you're not in a manic or depressive episode at the time

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

I'm diagnosed with schizoaffective bipolar type. Schizoaffective is when you have psychotic symptoms even when your mood is stable and you're not in a manic or depressive episode at the time

not necessarily

I have bipolar 1 w/ psychotic features. I have the flat affect and flat vocal tone that you typically see in patients with schizophrenia/schizoaffective, as well as hallucinations/delusions outside of mood episodes, but I don't meet the other criteria for SzA or Sz. Psychologists have said that my thinking is linear when you ignore the hallucinations and delusions, so they said SzA is not an appropriate fit.

[Blueberrybook]

Originally Posted by xRavenx

My mom shared with me some problems she had when I was born, and I cannot help but wonder if it was a factor in me developing Bipolar Disorder. She nearly died of the flu, and I was in the wrong position, where she needed to have an emergency C-section due to coughing so much, so I was born early. I was kept in the hospital away from her for a period of time.

I read a few research articles that said that having the flu (true influenza) and fever could actually increase the probability of Bipolar Disorder, ADHD, and other disorders in infants. I just found it interesting, because I wonder if it explains anything in my case.

Anyway, I'm feeling on the low side. All weekend, I have just basically stayed in bed, with the exception of having some coffee and eating.
Hugs to everyone.

I know there can be a lot of factors with pregnancy and birth that affect a baby's health later in life.

For instance, when my daughter was 2.5, 3 years old we took her to a pediatric dentist. She had teethed early (1st tooth at 3 months), and nearly all the teeth on the left side of her mouth needed major work (crowns and such; they'd be teeth she'd keep until 8, 10 years old). Other side of the mouth was fine. The dentist said it was most likely something I got sick with while pregnant, but was very minor to me like a cold or sinus infection if I felt sick at all, and it was enough to harm my daughter's baby tooth development while I was pregnant. Luckily, her adult teeth are normal. But OMG, was that some costly dental work. We got 2nd and 3rd opinions, they wanted to do the same work for more money or even more work; we had to put her to sleep for the dentist to be able to do all that work. I think we could have bought a decent used car for all the money we spent there.

I never would have expected it either. I had a super easy pregnancy, no morning sickness, exercised up until the day before delivery, just had an issue with an SI joint at the being of my 3rd trimester on my right side that thankfully an orthopedic physical therapist could help in a couple of weeks. Delivery & everything super easy.

But I hope whatever affected her teeth does not end up playing a role in affecting her mental health. She doesn't have the stressors I did, but she's got a mom she knows is mentally ill, knows we are worried about money, knows that we can't just go out and eat like we used to, there was a CPS case, I was taken to a psych ER (and not a very nice one either) in a police car, etc. Ugh. Sometimes, I feel like I've ruined her whole childhood

[TheSeaCat]

Finally home from work and Cardiologist, I didn't pick up the prescription I figure I've had it for this long what is one more day. Work was great managed to get a lot of things done including help my boss approve the budget for next year. Ironically I can't budget myself but I can offer several suggestions for a large clinic. The PA even had my favorite kind of coffee and a donut waiting on my desk for me this morning. He also decided to wear the same color as me everyone thought it was planned. Nope we both decided to wear a wine colored shirt.

Cardiologist went great I really liked the guy, bonus points that he was attractive. He's like I'm so used to angry old guys that I'm not used to dealing with a 24 year old. I have high blood pressure and Inappropriate Sinus Tachycardia. He thinks my psych meds have caused Metabolic Syndrome also. Thank you Zyprexa you and Latuda are the gifts that keep on giving long after I'm no longer on you.

The Cardiologist was super kind he could tell I was anxious and soothed that anxiety by not dismissing me as a psych case. I have two fun tests that have to be approved by insurance so hopefully sometime next week. This week is the week I eat myself into a food coma. The nurse and doctor thought we were in a relationship. The nurse thought we even made a cute couple. I also had my fifth EKG of the year, I'm half tempted to tease my primary that there needs to be a sixth before the end of the year.

I think there is a problem I am catching feelings for this PA and I can tell he has the same issue we talked about it when everyone had left. He likes me he is just scared to make the move since I did just get out of a long term relationship. I am scared because I am technically one of his bosses, I know his patients love him and he has never had any issues I just keep thinking if we do get together what happens when he gets a malpractice suit lodged against him, what if a patient wants to complain and I'm the only Practice Manager in the office. I know he's been a PA for six years and hasn't had these issues, I know it's my anxiety making things worse.

I feel I need to have a conversation with my boss since she's noticed that he and I flirt with each other all the time and that he accompanied me to the doctor today. I should still be grieving about my past relationship but all that I can think of is this sweet PA. He actually wants to act like an adult instead of child who wants to turn me into his second mother. We actually have a lot more in common than my previous relationship, it's just if we did get together we would have an age gap more than I am used to. I know he is only 31 and it's not that big of a gap. Not to mention I haven't been here long and it's probably too soon to rock the metaphorical boat by getting with a provider.

Hugs to everyone and thank you guys for your concern about the doctor

[~Christina]

Glad the cardiologist was a good one and some other testing will be done to put you at ease.

Ahhh relationships at work. Tricky.

Maybe take a step back and breath. No need to jump head first into something when indeed you just left something unhealthy.

[wildflowerchild25]

Remembered to pack my meds! Tennessee here we come! At 7am anyway. Everyone enjoy your holiday try not to stress too much! Love and hugs to all!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Have a great trip WFC!

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Glad the cardiologist was a good one and some other testing will be done to put you at ease.

Ahhh relationships at work. Tricky.

Maybe take a step back and breath. No need to jump head first into something when indeed you just left something unhealthy.

He was really good and through which I really appreciated.

It's very tricky unfortunately, thank you that is very good advice I don't plan on rushing, he's cool with being friends and giving me that space.

How are you doing tonight?

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

He was really good and through which I really appreciated.


It's very tricky unfortunately, thank you that is very good advice I don't plan on rushing, he's cool with being friends and giving me that space.


How are you doing tonight?

Long pain filled day , I’m really wishing my body would cooperate and give me a day off lol

Thanks for asking.

[Blue_Bird]

Took my night meds 2 hours ago but can't sleep. Anxious about doing laundry tomorrow. I know that's a weird thing to be anxious about but I have to take my laundry on a bus to a laundromat to do it. I've never been there. I normally do my laundry here at my apartment complex but the laundry rooms foundation collapsed recently which caused a gas leak and they're still working on reconstructing it can't wait to get it over with. I have some agoraphobic tendencies

[Sunflower123]

Pretty good day. Hand can be fixed with another surgery and continued physical therapy. With the other, the biopsies came back benign. No pre cancer like before. Much relieved tonight.

Hugs to all.

[Nammu]

Oh, that's great news Jen.

[Guiness187055]

Glad to hear that Jennifer.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Pretty good day. Hand can be fixed with another surgery and continued physical therapy. With the other, the biopsies came back benign. No pre cancer like before. Much relieved tonight.


Hugs to all.

Fantastic news !!!

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Pretty good day. Hand can be fixed with another surgery and continued physical therapy. With the other, the biopsies came back benign. No pre cancer like before. Much relieved tonight.

Hugs to all.

That is excellent news

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Pretty good day. Hand can be fixed with another surgery and continued physical therapy. With the other, the biopsies came back benign. No pre cancer like before. Much relieved tonight.

Hugs to all.

(((((( Jennifer1967 ))))))

I am glad your hand can be fixed; yet, sorry you have to go through this.
Am thrilled all biopsies are benign.


WC

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by wildflowerchild25

Remembered to pack my meds! Tennessee here we come! At 7am anyway. Everyone enjoy your holiday try not to stress too much! Love and hugs to all!

I hope you enjoy your trip and the holiday!


WC

[bizi]

Jenn, this is great news!
((((HUGS))))
bizi

[sonjaward809]

I’m back after a few months of a hiatus!! It’s been a rough year overall for me, but I’m trying to stay positive. I just got out of an abusive relationship w/ what I thought was the love of my life 😔 She was verbally, mentally and physically abusive towards me from the start but I tried my best to stick it out and see if I could get her to tone down on how she treated me. But it continued. I finally got away from her physically a few months ago but we remained together. Well we have been off and on since May 5th of this year. We had dated for 1-2 years when we were younger around 17-18 years old but I had broke up to her for lying to me about having a heart attack. She told me this go around that she lied about it because she had really been hanging out with an ex. She would tell me I’m “too sensitive, a drama queen, looking for attention, showing out for others” almost like everyday. I was “disloyal” if I ever told anybody what was really going on behind closed doors. It was a very depressing and stressful relationship to be in PERIOD. I officially ended things 3-4 days ago and now am feeling bad but at the same time it was too much, I simply couldn’t do it anymore. I was hospitalized last week for 5 days for suicidal ideations. She literally broke my soul man, that’s how it feels. Cause the whole time she’s saying she loves me, wants kids and marriage but get treated me worse than a dog on the street. She even told me I could kill myself 😔 knowing my brother had committed sui this past Christmas and knowing that I myself have attempted quite a few times as well. So that cut deep 😢 My MRI for my spine is finally getting finished up, the doctors office has been messing up on my paperwork for almost 2 months now 🤦🏻*♀️ I really am getting depressed again && just trying to fight it. I don’t wanna go back IP. That would be 3x this year alone if I do 😔😔 It feels like my life has been in shambles since my grandma passed back in November. Right now I just started a job, at a little convenience store. I’m having to cut back on my hours and how long I can work a shift. My back can only hold up for about 4-5 hours. I’m frustrated that I’m in constant pain, it’s been that way for 3 years now following a wreck and I’m just NOW gonna get to see what is wrong with my back 🤦🏻*♀️ The DR is thinking a herniated disc, but it would be in my upper back which is rare and a hard area to herniate. So I’m hoping it’s not that but really I just want answers. I want to know and get it fixed so I can at least attempt to work like normal people do. My bipolar has been taking its toll on me as well. Some days I’m lacking energy so bad that I don’t want to get out of bed. I’m struggling to motivate myself to do things too. I’m just trying my hardest but it feels like I keep getting knocked 10 steps back every time I try to peruse something 😢😢

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Pretty good day. Hand can be fixed with another surgery and continued physical therapy. With the other, the biopsies came back benign. No pre cancer like before. Much relieved tonight.

Hugs to all.

That's great news!