[Guiness187055]

Got up at 3am but laid around until around noon. My wife went out with her sister for brunch then came home and took a nap. Took my son out for a haircut and then went out to dinner. Hope everyone had a good day.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone; I hope everyone had a good Saturday. I got to sleep in until about ten am and no strange phone calls like I am prone to getting on the weekends. So I was very happy about that. Today I spend the entire day out with M we went out to lunch and then went and saw On The Basis of Sex which was a really good movie; a little on the sad end of the spectrum but it was really good probably one of the better movies I have seen this year, granted that is a rather small list.

In relationship news I am spending the night at his place to make the morning easier for the both of us with the whole church thing. I'm nervous about meeting his family tomorrow like super nervous because I know how important family and church is to him. His dogs are super sweet and really like me; granted they've already met me; granted it's easy to win the affection of a dog; it's cats that are a lot harder to please. I'm just chilling on computer while M focuses on writing his lesson for his Sunday School class; I'm really not used to dating this type of guy at all; but's it's very nice for a change.

Hugs to everyone

[MissDenim]

Sorry I'm not posting everyday... but today was another good day. I went to another Goodwill that's a little farther away, like the next town over. I live in a small town surrounded by other small towns so... anyways, I found clothes I needed, although I do still have problems with impulsive buying sometimes. I've had problems with impulsive buying since I was a teenager, although it's gotten better now that I'm older. Sometimes, I go to thrift stores and buy something I do not need or something I will not wear. I'm trying not to do that though.

I hope everyone is well.

[winter loneliness]

I went out last night, sober, for dry January which I do every year. Saw a male friend and asked him if I could stroke his arm to feel a male. LOL. I may never have sex again-long dry spell.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

My heart goes out to you, BeyondtheRainbow. What a difficult situation. I hope things go as smoothly as possible. What a nuisance that your siblings won't speak to each other. I totally understand your not wanting to see his house (my mother is a hoarder and I told my sister I'd try to help when the time came, but I really, really don't want to deal with any of her mess. We don't speak and haven't for years.)

Extra hugs. I hope you can get some better sleep.

sorry I didn't answer this sooner IZ. I meant to and well, my attention isn't great right now

It's good that you are willing to help your sister when the time comes. I wish my siblings could put aside their differences since none of us had the relationship with him. None of us have spoken to my father in 20 years so it is really awkward for everyone. My brother seems to have the idea that there will be some memories or sign my father cared or something. I don't think so. The guardian said there were a few family photos and I would bet they are of my younger brother and not us older siblings (there is a 32 year gap between oldest and youngest). His mess won't fix anything. But apparently my brother is going to have to get hurt to believe that.

Families are so complicated.

[~Christina]

Quiet day here , rainy and grey all damn day long.

Temps are headed down to upper 20’s tonight so it has my Fibro flaring even more so, damn shyt

Otherwise not a single thing to report of interest.

* flings cookies to everyone*

I've been staying awake later these days. I'm not sure why. When I do fall asleep, I sleep well. Right now it's almost 2 am and I'm not that tired. Maybe slightly. I took my evening meds at about 6 pm. Even taking 550 mg Seroquel XR, plus Tegretol XR and a little Klonopin at 6 or 7 pm I can stay awake fine until midnight, usually. I guess if I tried to go to sleep earlier I could, but have just not wanted to. I'm not usually a night owl by nature.

[beauflow]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

If the patch doesn’t work, try Chanix , you smoke the first week you take it , by day 3 I gagged down a cigarette and that was the end of them, I stayed on it for almost a month and have never craved another one

I am one of the worst hypocrite non smokers ever , I can’t believe I use to smell so terrible , if I walk past someone smoking I literally hold my breath. Disgusts me. Told you I’m a bad hypocrite lol

I swear by Chanix, I just took half the prescribed dose.

and thanks and

I dislike the smell as well but ugh, I like it too- just like pipe tobacco being smoked- I some times wonder if I was addicted, like many others I am sure, before I picked up my first cigarette and smoked it. This due to being always around smokers as a kid- these days that's super taboo - and for good reason.

Funny thing though, (I hope at least)- my ex smokes still and I hang out with him still- I always ask if he wants to do a quit date with me. Even still now. Anyways, tonight I hang out with him- and earlier just a few hours ago, we had went out side-I was telling him he stank and "yuck" *waving my hands around*- he gave some sort of come back ((we are children at heart)).

I did not smoke with ex tonight (*nor today), just hung out with him this evening and I did my own thing earlier. I will still like to go outside, because where we are now - no smoking, and it's awful (and I thought that even when smoking a pack day) lol....
-----
When I stopped smoking for almost a year, I was living with him- smoking inside, all the time around me-- and I had stopped due to terrible circumstances ((some people have trouble changing, and some times it takes something horrible to help them be motivated -- unfortunately that was, and I still think to a point is me at times)). I had attempted to quit so many times before that all happened though, so-- idk... It scares me that I am just damaging more of my body, and with my two back issues- both orthopedic doctors mentioned that the smoking, assisted with my bad genetics on top. I have a few discs that potentially could herniate like the two that are fused now. (I've had a motivation and reason to quit, it is just so difficult)..

This is one aspect of me that I do question--- with my decisions of treatment and management plan with -- life for me ( ) .

TO be honest- I am afraid of Chanix; and the few general doctors I have talked with about quitting to smoke- they agree I should exhaust other avenues before going that route. This of course is after letting them know me, ((because I see no reason of why not be honest on this topic to them; for me- it's important to be, especially if the person (doctor) is trying to assist *and I am in a mood to be there and listen). One of the side effects of chanix - just- may not be a good fit for me.
I do wonder at times, for any one that reads this and wonders- if my fear weighs in more than the chance of just trying it- however I would like to try other avenues before so, just so to limit options and last resort options. Some times I do wonder if the whole- true quit smoking will end me up on a path that I resist.-- but that could just be my wondering mind.

I was thinking of trying hypnosis, have had a few people tell me that it has worked for them. I have tried some recordings with meditation, which helps a little.. and since I am a "Star-quitter" I have also reminded myself today especially - to acknowledge the times, that i don't want a cig. Like, the opposite of "I need a cig" - try to note the times, I don't want a cig.
I do need to find some thing or things to replace smoking.... and chewing on my hair is not really an option

I am sorry - I said no need for a reply back and then I chatchatchatchatted away... Just getting my plan more into a formula I think

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by beauflow

and thanks and


I dislike the smell as well but ugh, I like it too- just like pipe tobacco being smoked- I some times wonder if I was addicted, like many others I am sure, before I picked up my first cigarette and smoked it. This due to being always around smokers as a kid- these days that's super taboo - and for good reason.


Funny thing though, (I hope at least)- my ex smokes still and I hang out with him still- I always ask if he wants to do a quit date with me. Even still now. Anyways, tonight I hang out with him- and earlier just a few hours ago, we had went out side-I was telling him he stank and "yuck" *waving my hands around*- he gave some sort of come back ((we are children at heart)).


I did not smoke with ex tonight (*nor today), just hung out with him this evening and I did my own thing earlier. I will still like to go outside, because where we are now - no smoking, and it's awful (and I thought that even when smoking a pack day) lol....

-----

When I stopped smoking for almost a year, I was living with him- smoking inside, all the time around me-- and I had stopped due to terrible circumstances ((some people have trouble changing, and some times it takes something horrible to help them be motivated -- unfortunately that was, and I still think to a point is me at times)). I had attempted to quit so many times before that all happened though, so-- idk... It scares me that I am just damaging more of my body, and with my two back issues- both orthopedic doctors mentioned that the smoking, assisted with my bad genetics on top. I have a few discs that potentially could herniate like the two that are fused now. (I've had a motivation and reason to quit, it is just so difficult)..


This is one aspect of me that I do question--- with my decisions of treatment and management plan with -- life for me ( ) .


TO be honest- I am afraid of Chanix; and the few general doctors I have talked with about quitting to smoke- they agree I should exhaust other avenues before going that route. This of course is after letting them know me, ((because I see no reason of why not be honest on this topic to them; for me- it's important to be, especially if the person (doctor) is trying to assist *and I am in a mood to be there and listen). One of the side effects of chanix - just- may not be a good fit for me.

I do wonder at times, for any one that reads this and wonders- if my fear weighs in more than the chance of just trying it- however I would like to try other avenues before so, just so to limit options and last resort options. Some times I do wonder if the whole- true quit smoking will end me up on a path that I resist.-- but that could just be my wondering mind.


I was thinking of trying hypnosis, have had a few people tell me that it has worked for them. I have tried some recordings with meditation, which helps a little.. and since I am a "Star-quitter" I have also reminded myself today especially - to acknowledge the times, that i don't want a cig. Like, the opposite of "I need a cig" - try to note the times, I don't want a cig.

I do need to find some thing or things to replace smoking.... and chewing on my hair is not really an option


I am sorry - I said no need for a reply back and then I chatchatchatchatted away... Just getting my plan more into a formula I think

I enjoy your chatting

I only used half dose of Chanix due to my Bipolar. I had worries it could effect me.

I think it’s great your still friends with your Ex .... mine was/is a total jerk , but we made a fantastic daughter that is an amazing 26 year old following her dream.

[Lefty Seven]

Brushed rotors with Anita this morning:

Anita: I can’t do Otoro Fusion tonight; my day isn’t shaping up the way I hoped, let’s touch base this afternoon
What’s your day like?

L7: Let’s wait for a better day

Anita: You don’t want to have beers?

L7: Your day isn’t shaping up as you hoped, implying likely cancellation
It’s better for me to wait until you can commit instead of standing by

Anita: Alrighty then, sorry to miss you

[Four hour intermission]

Anita: Do I annoy you?

L7: Nope. You habitually cancel plans after leaving me hanging. I have work and commitments I can’t afford to suspend while your day shapes up

[Smart people don't talk to Anita like this. Anita will cut you.]

Anita: Point taken

[Worst case scenario. "Point taken" is Anita for "Oh, it's on."]

[Guiness187055]

Sleeping meds wore off already. Took them at midnight. Oh well here's to a new day.

[winter loneliness]

And who is Anita again?

[Lefty Seven]

Anita is my friend in SLH. She's ten years older than I am and scares the Christ out of me.

[winter loneliness]

What does she do?

[pirilin]

Originally Posted by beauflow

I am doing ok.
I know I could write this some where else, but I've wrote there before and I don't really need a reply back.... but
I put on a patch yesterday-for stop smoking.. I am one of those that fit in the group of "you may quit a thousand times before your last time"... I worry but am going to try to stay positive. I already know from the past I may get more emotional for the next few weeks. But I am hoping since I am living alone I can use the coping skills that I've learned along the way.
I was doing well in last August but September I feel off the wagon.. and holidays I knew myself enough to just try to keep steady. I had been pretty good with not going back to a pack a day.
I quit for almost a year one time, then I started to get stressed out and started smoking again.
From that time I've quit for months or weeks... but always get to a point of "need a cig to calm down".
I remember one therapist, a bipolar specialist, mentioned the first five minutes after smoking a cig is like an antipsychotic, she had an article on it... I am going to try hard this time.
I will still have a vape, but even with just the vape - it's not enough for me. The patches helped me in the times where I quit months or weeks, ...
I know exercise will help just getting back to it

Hello,
I'm an expert in smoking cessation methods and devices.
What qualifies me?. Emphysema light to moderate now.
Moderate to severe before.
Five years researching tobacco and it's components.
And, of course, looking for a way out of dying choked to death.

I vape. Because I'm a nicotine addict and always will be.
And I enjoy the many flavors available to me thru vaping.
I know the stuff. I have more than a hundred different Ecigs.
Besides, it's four poisons against 4000 contained in analog cigarettes.

Vaping is a bad smoking cessation method. Only 19% efective rate.
The patch is even worse. Only 8%.
And the pills are a joke. At 4%.

The only successful method is COLD TURKEY. 54% efectivity rate.

If you want to have your cake and eat it too. Vape.

My Pulmo is mesmerized that I vape and haven't lost any more lung capacity in seven years.
He wants me to explain eCigs to him all the time. I won't.

The schooling has cost me more than 5k and change. Plus five years of trial and error, to now divulge my knowledge for free.

He went to medical school, and paid thousands.
He can take the time and money to learn about vaping too.
If his interest is really saving lives.

So, now that the truth is in front of you, what is it going to be.
Keep playing games with things that don't work, or COLD TURKEY.
It's your lungs. Or whatever is left of them.

Good luck. Cheers.

[Sunflower123]

My brother agreed to go for an assessment at a psychiatric hospital one town over. My sister and I will take him Monday morning and hopefully they’ll admit him. He has been in a good mood since he admitted he needed help...like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

I was almost afraid to post this for fear of jinxing it in some way. Fingers crossed. I’ve been very depressed lately and this rainy, dreary weather doesn’t help. Looking forward to things getting back to a near normal state.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

[Blue_Bird]

I'm doing well. Spent some time with my friend yesterday, we had a lot of fun. It's snowing, we have 10 inches so far with up to 2 inches more every hour and it's going to continue throughout the day. I love it!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

My brother agreed to go for an assessment at a psychiatric hospital one town over. My sister and I will take him Monday morning and hopefully they’ll admit him. He has been in a good mood since he admitted he needed help...like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

I was almost afraid to post this for fear of jinxing it in some way. Fingers crossed. I’ve been very depressed lately and this rainy, dreary weather doesn’t help. Looking forward to things getting back to a near normal state.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

I am glad to read your brother has agreed to get help. Monday morning is almost here, hopefully he will stick with this decision.

I hope you will feel better soon.
Thinking of you.
Love and Prayers,

WC

[Miss Laura]

Hypersexual the urge are really strong. I'm bored so it's taking its toll on me. I've been for a shower to calm me down but not working

[251turnaround]

A little less manic today I think (maybe). I can't feel the mania anymore but everyone says I still am. I'm dissociated. Everything feels like a dream still. I can't tell the dreams apart from what actually happened. I'm still kind of scared. But I'm acting normal? I feel normal.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Guiness187055

Sleeping meds wore off already. Took them at midnight. Oh well here's to a new day.

Mine pooped out on me too. Put my sleep mask on and tried to think of weaving to get back to sleep. Did manage a bit but dreamed a weird dream of being on a trolley and some man was having a heart attack so I tried to get him water in a dentist shop but all the streets turned into freeway spigetti junction points blocking me, then I ran into this guy in a red robe crying and obviously distressed because they were gonna put him in a state institutions I tried to reassure him then he ran away and his family was there and they drank my green tea and cookie shake. I excaped them but ended up on an industrial area between two cities and ran for it and came to a lighted building with ambulance crew that delivers pizza but they couldn't get me back to the hospital by curfew time. I had almost talked one guy into dropping me off in one city when I woke with a huge headache from the position of my neck. Woke more tired than when I had gone to bed!

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

My brother agreed to go for an assessment at a psychiatric hospital one town over. My sister and I will take him Monday morning and hopefully they’ll admit him. He has been in a good mood since he admitted he needed help...like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

I was almost afraid to post this for fear of jinxing it in some way. Fingers crossed. I’ve been very depressed lately and this rainy, dreary weather doesn’t help. Looking forward to things getting back to a near normal state.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

Glad to hear this. Hope it goes well.

[Scooter9]

I didn't have a fever last night so maybe my flu is coming to an end. I went out and shoveled. It's cold and windy but I'm ok.

I was editing my book yesterday and realized I missed a chapter, so I started and finished it yesterday.

I'm glad I can write again. I hope this sticks.

I'm still feeling low, but I'm coping. Maybe as far as my depression goes, maybe this is as good as it gets for now. I might not get back to were I was 16 months ago. One day at a time I guess.

[xRavenx]

I've been rapid cycling lately. My pdoc and I spoke about it and are considering options, but I am nervous about changes and side effects. I keep hoping things will just naturally get better if I let it ride, but not so sure...
Yesterday seemed okay, but today I am flipping out over things that are normally not a big deal. My heart is still racing, and I actually started crying. My thoughts have also been racing, and I've been thinking a lot about things that are unrealistic and just fantasy. Reality is tough when I do not know how to change things. Last week I was hospitalized for a migraine with visual problems. Not sure what is causing it...maybe stress?

Anyway, hugs to all in need of one.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’ve been offline for a couple of days so I just caught up with everyone. Wild coyote, I hope you find relief soon! Beyond, I’m sorry you have to go through all that. It must be terribly stressful. And to everyone else who is struggling, biggest hugs ever!!!

As for me, nothing much to report. The snowstorm never panned out; got rain instead. Temperature is steadily dropping though and will be a frosty 7 degrees tonight, and only sixteen degrees tomorrow during the day. I will be staying in because I have off for Martin Luther king day so I will hold up it the house and eat chili and potato soup. Not together though lol.

I spent the whole weekend with RS. He came over Friday night and we took my son out to dinner. We went to the diner and the waitress said that she has seen me and my son there all the time but never seen my husband poor woman was so embarrassed when I said he was just my boyfriend not my husband. We laughed about it. We weren’t embarrassed.

Then on Saturday we went to my niece’s first birthday party. It was adorable. My sister in law did a great job crafting all these unicorn decorations. They had a candy bar and a unicorn cake. RS got to meet some more of my family and also my sister in law’s family. They all loved him. I’m taking him up to meet my grandfather next weekend, mainly to see if we can help my gma put away some of her Christmas stuff. RS decided to spend the night again on Saturday night so we spent two nights together instead of just one which was really nice.

Ever since I went up on the haldol I have been stable again so here’s to hoping I stay that way. I have to call back two other pdoc’s this week; I don’t think I like the guy I found. Not a good bedside manner. Plus his location is very inconvenient.

I don’t know. Just glad I have an extra day off this week!