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#1
Jan 12, 2019, 02:07 AM
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I'm a recovering meth addict and I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 when I was 14, I've taken a few medications that only left me feeling void of all emotions. I started using to feel something... ANYTHING! I'm sure we all can guess... Meth is not the answer. I lost everything including my seven year old daughter... I'll never be able to apologise enough to her. Normally I do okay and I'm able to focus on the fact that I'm getting better but other times... Like right now... I feel like a waist of space and time and then this evil person living in the back of my brain constantly screaming to me that my daughter is better off with out me and I might as well give up and go get high .. it's really hard to ignore that voice on nights like tonight...
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 Anonymous41462, liveforsummer, tecomsin, Wild Coyote
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 Wild Coyote
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#2
Jan 12, 2019, 11:09 AM
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Hello LadyBipolar,
Welcome to PC and to the Bipolar Forum!  It sounds like you have been through the ringer. I am very sorry.  Your daughter needs you! I'd had an alcoholic father. He'd eventually self-destructed. I'd needed him to sort himself out and be there for me. Children always need their parents to be there for them. Please don't get high. Don't give up. Your daughter DOES need you. I hope you will find the information and support you may be seeking. Please do make yourself at home and post away! Many hugs!  WC
__________________
May we each fully claim the courage to live from our hearts, to allow Love, Faith and Hope to enLighten our paths. 
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#3
Jan 12, 2019, 11:54 AM
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Welcome to PC LadyBipolar. I don't have a meth addiction to deal with but I still get the voice sometimes that says I am not worth the space I take up. We also get a lot of negative messages for our failures, and it is easy to internalize those. Your daughter hopefully has the capacity for forgiveness.
The main thing for me is to stay on a regular sleep schedule and not, at the same time, be overmedicated. And then try to focus on other things beside the negative messages. Do you have a support network? We are here to help. Keep posting.
__________________
BP 1 with psychotic features 50 mg Lyrica 50 mcg Synthroid 2.5 mg olanzapine |
| Wild Coyote
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| Wild Coyote
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#4
Jan 12, 2019, 07:40 PM
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I don’t have children but have nieces and nephews. They will always need their mother because she is their mother. You are making progress. Be proud of yourself for that and keep up the fight. It is common to be drowned by negative thoughts st times. Especially in situations like yours. Do you have any loved ones around that you can confide in? When the thoughts are loud you need support. We are here to support you as best we can. Keep posting if you need it want. Welcome!
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Bipolar 1 with psychotic features PTSD  "Phew! For a minute there I lost myself." 'Karma Police' by Radiohead |
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#5
Jan 12, 2019, 10:33 PM
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Welcome to PC
Keep fighting the fight !
__________________
Helping others gets me out of my own head ~ |
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