[bizi]

nice of you stop top by.
thank you for your support!
bizi

[Wild Coyote]

Great job, Bizi!
Much Love to You!

WC

[bizi]

After talking with the sponsor we decided that I was not an alcoholic.
So I am not going to go to AA meetings nor meet with her again.
She was a very lovely lady and I wished her the best.
bizi

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by bizi

After talking with the sponsor we decided that I was not an alcoholic.
So I am not going to go to AA meetings nor meet with her again.
She was a very lovely lady and I wished her the best.
bizi

You don't have to be an alcoholic to attend AA meetings, or even work the steps, or have a sponsor. I once had a problem with alcohol during my divorce. I went to AA for 18 months every Friday for support throughout my divorce, and to not drink. I had a problem with alcohol and needed the support of AA but I never did anything but show up. I also was the "coffee person" a lot, and I made cakes for those who celebrated sobriety dates of 3 months, 6 months, and a year.

It worked well for me, and I eventually felt I didn't need meetings, and I was sober for ten years - no problem. I didn't label myself an alcoholic because I didn't feel the need. I just wanted to not drink. That was my objective. And for ten years I was quite happy with that and never labeled myself alcoholic.

After ten years I decided to try social drinking. After ten years that first beer was...very nice. But my relationship to drinking had changed. I wasn't as into it at all.


I found that when I am in a stressful place in my life I can't drink because I tend to over-drink. If I am in a balanced place I find it easy to drink socially. But I just made it a rule to not drink when stressed and eventually I lost all desire to drink. I would rather eat my calories than drink them. I also established a very clean diet and alcohol didn't fit in with it.


Now I don't drink at all. I have pretty strong opinions now about alcohol and don't think it is good for anyone, even in moderation. It is unnecessary and can be problematic.

If I may make a suggestion...work hard at self care and maybe the desire to drink will abate. Avoid triggers.


Most of all - and this is just my opinion - get rid of labels. Whether or not you are an alcoholic is moot. You simply don't want to drink. It is like any other habit...you either give it power...or you don't.

I found out the hard way that a lot of people in AA lie about their sobriety. So you can't count on others, really.

If alcohol is not enhancing your life...just eliminate it. I am certain you can do it because you seem like a very strong-willed person.

I have to eliminate certain foods because they are addictive. Mostly processed carbs. I just consider alcohol in the same category. It plays havoc with blood sugar levels.


Although I attended AA I have come to believe that addiction is not something one is powerless over. It is for a reason we became addicted...to manage emotional pain, mostly. So yeah, if you have emotional pain, it is difficult, often, to stay sober, but not impossible.

I no longer break down and drink when stressed. Alcohol just isn't on my radar and I love being sober because it gives me a sense of efficacy and control.


Good luck. This is just my opinion. Once you "break the back" of an addiction (by repeatedly refraining from the substance) it won't have the same power.


Don't give away your power, Bizi. You can do this. Just believe you can, do it, and of course don't be too hard on yourself in other areas (like dieting) at this time.

[bizi]

Dechandawa,
Thank you for your nice and kind and lengthy post to me this morning.
I really appreciate your wisdom and sharing your story.
There are other reasons for not attending AA meetings of any kind that I won't go into here.
I hope you have a wonderful sober life!!!!
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by bizi

Dechandawa,
Thank you for your nice and kind and lengthy post to me this morning.
I really appreciate your wisdom and sharing your story.
There are other reasons for not attending AA meetings of any kind that I won't go into here.
I hope you have a wonderful sober life!!!!
(((((HUGS)))))
bizi

I shared my story but really I wasn't that great an AA'er! Because like I said I didn't really follow the program. I found the religious aspect of AA to be...really...the deal breaker. Because everyone says AA is not religious...but heck, what do you call holding hands and praying at EVERY MEETING? I think in the end it was that hypocrisy that caused me to leave AA.

What I believe is people can quit drinking and don't need to label themselves as alcoholic. I went to a local detox center and took a written test that categorized me as a problem drinker, so that's when I went to AA. I never once labeled myself an alcoholic..because I did not like the "illness" model. I preferred a more holistic approach.


I tried a couple other sobriety groups, too.

I think the key to breaking addictions is every time you have the craving...do something else...and eventually the addiction weakens. I think it is that simple.

I am still dieting and it's hard and alcohol would completely wreck my attempts. It just took me two weeks to lose one pound! But I am going in the right direction.

Bizi, just set your mind in the right direction and go that way...you can do it!!!

I don't think of myself as "sober for life," -- and maybe in the future I will drink socially. The key is that now I don't drink when stressed or working out serious life problems.


However, now there are reports out that even in moderation alcohol is potentially harmful. So maybe I will be forever sober. I don't know. For now it's great.

[bizi]

congratulations

on your one pound loss=4 sticks of butter!
bizi

[DechanDawa]

Originally Posted by bizi

congratulations

on your one pound loss=4 sticks of butter!
bizi

Thank you! This is great imagery and made my day.

But back to you because I am not trying to hijack your thread, here. You go, girl!

[bizi]

I ate and drank too much at whole foods trivia in the bar.
bizi

[bizi]

The woman from NAMI carolyn, canceled on me. Last night, we were going to go to the gym and walk on the tred mill and have a lite dinner afterward, but she backed out.
So going with jeff was my option at the time. I should have just went to the gym by myself.
My resolve to not drink went out the window!
My tool box is empty.
sigh

I wish I had more friends.
I am going to go to church tomorrow and maybe see an old friend, maybe I can mingle with her or someone else there. It is a Unitarian fellow ship.
My only real friend here has asked us to go hiking tomorrow. We usually drink with them but they are dieting right now so maybe we would just hike and that be all we would do with them...

bizi

Originally Posted by bizi

My only real friend here has asked us to go hiking tomorrow. We usually drink with them but they are dieting right now so maybe we would just hike and that be all we would do with them...

Tell them. Don't leave it to chance. Connect it to the dieting if you must (though really, you should have as much say regardless). Who knows? Maybe they will be relieved, especially as they are dieting too.

[bizi]

Thank you innerzone.
I will tell them...we have been PM on facebook.
bizi

[bizi]

I am not doing AA. I can't agree to their steps at all.
After breakfast this morning at the diner as usual :
I went to the UU Unitarian universalist fellowship downtown.
I like it.
This will be on a somewhat regular basis now.
If I can get up earlier than usual on a sunday.
like 8;30 and leave at 930 for breakfast and drive
separately then I can get there some time between
10;30 for social-11am for service.
I spoke with Mary. I had dinner with her one night with susan.
This was before susan stopped being my friend.
Last week I texted her that I was going to AA. she was happy about that.
So maybe we can be friends again.
Alcohol was a big factor with her husband. He drinks alot.
They have been divorced for some time now.
Susan goes to the fellowship if I did not make that clear.
So I don't know how that will pan out.
She had a music gig out of town and that is why she was not there today.

I am cooking brussel sprouts and sausage in the oven for dinner tonight.
Have never done this before so hope it turns out.

Am doing my scrubs/laundry they are drying.
Visited a friend who had major surgery,
brought her flowers and talked for an hour or so.
It was good to see her.
She was in bed recuperating.
It was sunny out today the weather was nice enough to just wear a sweater.
I heard from my family in northern IN.
The temps on wednesday high of -12 and a low of -30.
scarey stuff. yes those are minus numbers NOT wind chill!
I hope every one has had a nice weekend.
bizi

[bizi]

1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.

I now take charge of my life and my well-being. I accept the responsibility.

Alcohol is no longer running my life. I have always taken responsibility.

and yes alcohol can be toxic, and dangerous. I won't be drinking. As I see it there are too many risks involved. And I have seen in the past that I can't moderate.
For me, abstinence is really the way to healing my brain....
bizi

[bizi]

I fell on a curb before my dentist appointment this morning. my left side is banged up but not bruising so that is good. It hurts to breath in deeply.
I canceled my last appointment because it bothered me too much for my last 2 appointments. I have billing to do, am behind on that.
I put some magnesium lotion on it. I have some CBD cream I can put on later. I think my underwire bra contributed to the hurting.
bizi

[bizi]

Stupid me forgot to take some advil today I just took 800mg.
The pain has spread to my sternum.
I wonder if I did crack a rib?

Even if I went into the walk in clinic there is no treatment for it right?
bizi

I don't know. Do you happen to have access to one of those "nurse lines"? If so, you could try calling them.

[bizi]

[bizi]

I am much better today. Advil helps a lot!
The magnesium lotion did not seem to help nor did the CBD cream.
A moist heated bean neck pillow last night felt good.
This evening I can deep breath with out much pain so that is vast improvement from yesterday!
I canceled my last client for today and put her onto next week. I did not feel up to it and wanted to do some meat shopping.
For less than $50 I bought 30 entrees (15x2 meals), chicken, pork chops, sausage, chicken patties, meatloaf and shrimp that we

had tonight for dinner. I cooked using a brown roux for the base

and added chicken broth and garlic and onions, and celery and yellow squash and chives and tomatoes. Cooked all of that down then added the shrimp and let it cook for a few minutes. I had used some spices but it wasn't too hot.Jeff said he thought it was good...don't know what that means.
WE had some left overs I combined them with the left over brussel sprouts. I bet they will be tasty.
The roux was not flavorful because I added too much water. At first it was so think that I had to add water to thin it but I added too much water.
So it was thin. Oh well. I learned something.

bizi

[bizi]

It is minus 18 at my folks in northern IN. with a wind chill of minus 45. They have a wind advisory all morning. My sister in south bloomington have the same wind not as cold but their furnace is not working right.
sigh
I really feel for my family.
burr!!!!!
bizi
it is 37 here. Bur. for us

[bizi]

I am not a good cook, I bought some chili from sandras today and added beans and some roasted corn. I spiced mine up a bit after using sour cream and it was very good!
I also sauteed a pound of fresh mushrooms in butter and cooked them completely down, we had those for dinner as well.
Did a bit of sewing...our cat hazel kneeded my sweater and put small holes in it. so I sewed them up. I think that it came out pretty good.

Today, both my parents and my sister had problems with their heating units. Mom and dad have a big boiler for their baseboard heat. They live almost into michigan. They finally figured out what was wrong after talking with the installer tonight so the heat is back on. IT had gotten to be 51 degrees in the house. very nerve wracking because the temp is heading down to minus 23 degrees F. My sisters furnace finally kicked on too. They don't know why. My whole family lives in Indiana, so does my mother in law.
Hubby talked to her earlier.
Her house is warm.

She lives in INDY so it is not as cold there...still cold for sure.
So happy the heat is on for everyone!
bizi

[bizi]

[bizi]

My scale said 179.8....thank Goodness The scale has budged!
The weight is coming off very very slowly this time.

I made a chicken piccata last night.
It was the most ingredients of a recipe that I have made in a while.
It had a lemon butter sauce with capers, yum!

Jeff loved it!
I will try to make it again in the future.

Very light work day today, One client this afternoon, none this morning so have plenty of time to goof off and maybe do some laundry and some filing if I feel like it.


My ribs still bother me so I ate some yogurt and took 4 advill, the cbd cream did not help nor the magnesium lotion. Only the advil helps.
I hope that they heal soon as I don't want to expose my liver to any thing harmful. 4 advill is the prescription strength.

I called about my labs, it has been almost 2 weeks since I had them drawn.
She said they just got them in and would review them with my MDOC and then send me a copy. That is poor service on lab cores part. What if there was something seriously wrong!!!!!

Onto my 3 rd cup of coffee, had better finish up catching up on the forums.
Thank yall for reading.
have a great weekend!
Bizi

[MickeyCheeky]

I hope you're doing ok, bizi. Remember that you can do this! We all love you here. Sending many hugs to you

[bizi]

Thank you mickey!!!!
You offer support so many people here and I wonder how are you?
(((((HUGS))))
bizi