I could use a friend or a few

Hello, I'm Jen. I've been around here for a while but never posted. Never knew what to say. I was diagnosed with BPI at 14, almost 19 years ago. Never had much treatment. Dealing mostly alone. Family isn't and never has been supportive. My husband does the best he can, but he doesn't understand. I try to teach him what I can about BP and how it affects me. I have 1 friend, she lives in another state, 4 hours aways. She does what she can by listening to me but I fear she gets tired of hearing about my problems. I have severe social anxiety and this is really hard for me. It's taken a year and a half or so to get the courage to post here. I need to talk to people, but it's so hard. I have a really hard time reaching out to anyone. There's so much I want to talk about but I have no idea where to start or how to start. I always feel like people aren't going to care or what I say doesn't matter.

welcome .... and I mean that ... posting is a great outlet for me ... I hope it will be for you too .... just let your heart lead your posts ... remember no one knows your real life idenity so there is no reason to be afraid ...this forum belongs to us ... all of us ... please use it like you are talking to a real friend face to face ...

remember there are some very special people here who really care about you ... if you let them ...

dont be upset if sometimes no one responds to your posts ... we all have our issues and get wrapped up in daily things ... just keep posting ... use it as an outlet ... that is what it is for ....

always remember if no one else says it ... many think it ... but you are loved and treasured ....

,,,, peace my "new" friend .... Tigger ..

How are you managing your BPI? Do you take any medication?

Thanks so much! I really needed to hear that!

No, I do not take medication. I have in the past, when I was first diagnosed for about a year and then again about 5 years ago for about a year, maybe 2. I don't take meds now because I can't afford them. I know I need them. I manage mostly through education, I read a lot about BP and what it does. I have rapid cycling and mixed episodes. So I don't have super long individual episodes. I remind myself that whatever episode I'm in won't last forever, it will get better even if it's only for a little while. It's definitely a roller coaster and exhausting!

Hi Jen. I'm glad you posted. I'm sort of in a similar situation with almost no friends left and the few living far away or, in my case, fading away from my life. I get a lot of social interaction online. I am able to often get out of the house for a little bit and go to places I feel comfortable. I don't have a social anxiety, but had a bit of agoraphobia years back. I wish you could get a therapist, but I know they cost a lot. CBT skills you can find online may help a bit.

I am sorry you can't afford medications. I don't think anyone should have to do without medications. Unlike some people, I do believe it should be universally available.

We care, Jm, keep posting here

[ I always feel like people aren't going to care or what I say doesn't matter.]
Heya, Jen,
I can totally relate to this having said basically the same thing just a few days ago. I don't know what else to say otherwise though. I definitely want to welcome you as I am a firm believer in the value of the human being. I'm glad you've reached out. I'm confident you will make connections with many of us here, but I'm also certain you will develop close friendships with one, two, maybe a few individuals.

You are so wanted and welcome! I hope you find lots of love and support right here!

Hello and welcome!!

Hello and welcome!

Message me any time! I am mixed also and would be glad to share experiences.
Val

Welcome to pc.

Welcome to PC!

Welcome!!! Keep posting as you want/need. You will find much support here. I too experience rapid cycling and mixed episodes. It is totally exhausting. It is a credit to you that you have handled it on your own but I wish you didn't have to. Meds can help calm things down a bit.

Thanks so much, I may just do that sometime!

Thank you. I am proud of myself for how well I do manage, but I know on my own isn't enough. I hope that sometime in the future I will be able to get professional help again.

Hello and warmest welcomes to Psych Central we are very glad to have you posting, I look forward to seeing more of your posts.

Welcome to PC Jen !

You will find loads of understanding , support and advice.

Welcome to PC, Jen. I hope your time here with us will be beneficial to you. We're a pretty close bunch and are here for support anytime. I'm glad you've joined us.

Welcome, Jen! Glad you have taken to posting -- don't be shy, it's a good place, with good people (as I'm sure you've seen in reading). (I read for about the same amount of time before posting, but it wasn't so much shyness as not having come up with a username I liked, lol!) It's nice to have a place where people can relate.

How are you feeling today ?

Very irritable, easily frustrated, no patience what so ever. Too many thoughts to keep up with. And then depressed, then I'm fine for a little while and it starts over again. This whole weekend has been one of those days where if it can go wrong it will. Nothing big, just lots of little things. Thanks for asking! I never have anyone that does that, well no one that really wants to hear the truth, it's a nice change. Hope you are doing well!

Sorry you have had what I call a hell weekend ! Since I’m on SSDI I had my ugly day yesterday , just woke up on the wrong side of the bed and bytched my day away , went to bed early so I didn’t get snappy with my husband , not his fault I was pissy.

None of my soothing coping skills worked which is somewhat odd.

Hope tomorrow is a much better day for you.

—- I would like to add that drug companies will sometimes cover part or all the cost of their drugs. Of course u would have to have a prescription.