"hoooold on to me, 'cause I'm a little unsteady"
todays actually a decent day though. it's snowing! and there's no one i would really want to hold on to me anyways so i can only half relate to the lyrics
off for a walk to hopefully not get hit by cars, but what do I care?

Doing better today (none of the dreaded work). Went out last night. Was a bit of an ordeal getting there, glad I persevered though. Maybe sometime I will get up the nerve to dance, but last night was not that night. There's been another place I've been meaning to go to, and today I remembered why I haven't. But I will. And promise not to dance like this:

So today (once laundry is done drying) will be devoted to art. And working the internship. But THAT is work I can deal with!

[Sunflower123]

I’m having a low motivation/low energy day. Not noticeably depressed. This low motivation often leads to depression for me (thank you BirdDancer for helping me discover an important distinction). I’m trying to give myself credit for being on the go with my mom and my brother all week. Telling myself I deserve some down time. Snuggled up on the couch with my pets watching Die Hard.

Traveling back to meet my daughter tomorrow for lunch. Will be happy when Spring Break gets here. Will try to get up and moving before then. I have a busy week next week. I’d like to enjoy it.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful Saturday.

[wildflowerchild25]

Today was the funeral for my father in law. I did much better than I expected to. However I really regret not going over to the casket and saying my own personal goodbye. I didn’t because it always upsets me and I didn’t want to be upset but I should have. I’ll probably write him a note and just burn it to “send” it to him. He will not be buried until my mother in law passes and she will be cremated and buried with his ashes. So there’s no grave site to visit. I really wish I had said goodbye. I will write that letter though, that can be my goodbye.

My brother in law (who died in October)’s fiancé wants to be friends. I said that’s great. I think I’m the only one in her life who truly understands what she’s going through. I lost my husband, she lost her fiancée. She asked me today if it ever gets any easier. I was honest with her. It absolutely DOES but it can take a very long time. I told her I went through a couple of years where I was furious with my husband. Now her situation is different because her fiancé died in a car accident. But she said she’s mad at the doctors who mishandled the situation and caused him to go into sepsis. I said that’s true, you might be mad for awhile. She’s really sweet and if I can help her just by sharing my experience I’d like to.

My son made it through fairly well. He was a little scared to see a dead body for the first time. I understood that. He cried a little bit and I told him it’s ok to cry and if he ever needs me because he’s sad I will be there for him. I’m considering putting him back into therapy for a little while. Or at least taking him to the local children’s grief group. I’ll probably do that; that way he can learn that he’s not alone. I just don’t want him to end up like I did.

RS came with me and was a great support. Unfortunately he got sick and he’s currently in my room sleeping. We are supposed to go to the flower show tomorrow but if he’s sick then we will go next Sunday.

Well that’s all she wrote.

[Daonnachd]

So many others have such serious issues going on that I feel frivolous in reporting the latest events of my life. As I mentioned, I had ECT yesterday (at a hospital two hours away). When I departed I was unaware that the highway was flooded and therefor closed. We were sent on a detour, a long detour. I wasn't sure we were going to make it to the hospital on time. To me being late feels like disrespecting the people who are stuck waiting, so I really didn't want to be late. Fortunately, we got there with three minutes to spare.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Doing better today (none of the dreaded work). Went out last night. Was a bit of an ordeal getting there, glad I persevered though. Maybe sometime I will get up the nerve to dance, but last night was not that night. There's been another place I've been meaning to go to, and today I remembered why I haven't. But I will. And promise not to dance like this:


So today (once laundry is done drying) will be devoted to art. And working the internship. But THAT is work I can deal with!

I say just do it , Dance like no one is watching ! You probably dance great

Glad there was no work to ruin your day. Woot wooot

Feeling rather good again today Nothing major has happened and I'm leaving stress for the week. The weekend is to be relaxed and happy, I'm not gonna let anything stand in my way of that.

[~Christina]

Woke up with a screaming headache ! Thanks so much Mr cold front. Thank goodness Sinus pills were invented.

I honestly felt like after the big flood... winter should have been done with. Silly me !

Happy that my thread is getting some attention. I think it’s good for people to self reflect and share, we all need to see our self worth, our positive thoughts and accomplishments.

Happy Saturday !

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Daonnachd

So many others have such serious issues going on that I feel frivolous in reporting the latest events of my life. As I mentioned, I had ECT yesterday (at a hospital two hours away). When I departed I was unaware that the highway was flooded and therefor closed. We were sent on a detour, a long detour. I wasn't sure we were going to make it to the hospital on time. To me being late feels like disrespecting the people who are stuck waiting, so I really didn't want to be late. Fortunately, we got there with three minutes to spare.

That wasn’t trivial....getting to your ECT in a timely fashion is important. It would have been extremely anxiety producing for me. I’m glad you made it in time.

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone and happy Saturday. Yay it's finally the weekend. I hope everyone had a good weekend. I finally got my wish of sleeping in; I had my phone on silent and got to sleep in until 9 this morning; granted I went to bed late around 2:30 since I was working on a paper but still I got to sleep in past 6:30am which was really nice and enjoyable. It felt so nice being able to sleep past 6.

Today was stay in and do very little day; which I properly enjoyed. Didn't put in the contacts; didn't put on an makeup; heck I changed out of my pajamas into leggings and a nice tee shirt since M and doc were coming over for video games since R and I had decided neither one of us wanted to go out for date night; so just stay in with our guys and just play video games and eat pizza. Most of us had a long work week and none of wanted to go out or see a movie or lunch; so we stayed in and just enjoyed our time together. We played Team Mario Party for the first couple of goes since doc was new to the Switch; but anyway M and I still beat them after a few rounds of Team mode we switched to everyone on their own which I of course won most of the rounds; granted M beat me a few times. We also played Mario Kart for a little while which of course no one can beat me at the game.

We did pizza for lunch and oh I forgot how much I love pizza especially paired with garlic butter dipping sauce. Pizza was really good we also called in a Italian for dinner since R and I didn't feel like cooking we both just wanted a lazy day so we had take out twice today which was nice but probably not so good for my waistline; then again I did get rid of that Zyprexa weight so I could afford a few more pounds after all pizza was worth it.

Hugs to everyone

I went to a rock concert! It was a solo acoustic show of Matthew Good's. He has bipolar. I didn't think i would make it. I thought i'd just sleep thru it and tell no one that i had wasted $57. I bought the ticket last Fall when i was flying high. It just seemed like it would be too much with my current depression -- getting there on the bus, sitting thru, getting back.

But it was wonderful and buses went smoothly. He chatted to the audience a lot. It was a lot of fun! He's so talented! It was a little hard being solo in the group of couples and threes and fours but i'm glad that i don't let the fact that i'm alone prevent me from doing cool stuff. It was nice to see there are LOTS of other Matthew Good fans.


Aces!

[giddykitty]

Hello. I'm back after a few months. I went to a festival tonight at my old grade school. It was fun but too short. We used to spend hours there as kids. I guess it's more geared toward kids though.

Anyway. I see my pdoc soon and I wanted to get off my Abilify because I have doubts about having bipolar, but we have a big vacation coming up so I don't want to make any changes until I have time to wean off it. I did mention this to her before and she just steered me in a different topic so I don't know if or when I'll get off of it...

But I've been feeling better with my antidepressants!

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by giddykitty

Hello. I'm back after a few months. I went to a festival tonight at my old grade school. It was fun but too short. We used to spend hours there as kids. I guess it's more geared toward kids though.

Anyway. I see my pdoc soon and I wanted to get off my Abilify because I have doubts about having bipolar, but we have a big vacation coming up so I don't want to make any changes until I have time to wean off it. I did mention this to her before and she just steered me in a different topic so I don't know if or when I'll get off of it...

But I've been feeling better with my antidepressants!

Welcome back! I’m glad you’ve been feeling better. It’s good to see you posting.

[Scooter9]

It's my birthday today! Not a milestone birthday - that was last year. But it's on a Sunday so can't really beat that

My wife got me tickets to a show in May and I'll be seeing my mother and rest of my family later today.

I'm feeling low but I guess that's become normal for me these past many months. I'll try to enjoy the day today.

Originally Posted by scooter9

it's my birthday today! Not a milestone birthday - that was last year. But it's on a sunday so can't really beat that

my wife got me tickets to a show in may and i'll be seeing my mother and rest of my family later today.

I'm feeling low but i guess that's become normal for me these past many months. I'll try to enjoy the day today.

happy birthday!!!

[pirilin]

I need groceries. Bad.
To the point I have no bread or milk.
My trip to Wally's World is inminent.
The food is inferior, for the most part.
However, my credit card still works there.
And I need money bad.
La Bruja will reinburse me. Always does.
May God bless her big fat paycheck.

Cheers.

[beauflow]

it is nice to read such positive vibe posts

Yesterday I kept posting and deleting; as I felt insignificant but not. A lot of thoughts yesterday. I was busy and productive yet not.

Again I am editing- i wont delete.. I will just somewhat I do.. have a good one all.... I'll be fine always have been.

[beauflow]

Originally Posted by Scooter9

It's my birthday today! Not a milestone birthday - that was last year. But it's on a Sunday so can't really beat that

My wife got me tickets to a show in May and I'll be seeing my mother and rest of my family later today.

I'm feeling low but I guess that's become normal for me these past many months. I'll try to enjoy the day today.

Happy Birthday!!!!! I really hope that you enjoy your day!

[Moose72]

So it's no surprise that I've been crying every day since getting Nathan's news. I feel I am grieving a loss and it FEELS like a death. I find myself looking at things he wrote me as a kid and all the zillions of photos I took of him and tearing up. Logically those are the past and can't change that. I don't want to! Im losing my little Nathan and the man he only just started to discover. And along those lines, he won't ever get to enjoy the fruits of making love to the same person over the years. In fact, as soon as he starts the testosterone blocker, he will essentially be a eunuch. No children either. I suppose that one is a loss for me- I don't know that he would feel the same. He said he'll store sperm for later but I don't think he can afford it.

Sorry- no personals. Meh... My stomach hurts

Happy birthday, Scooter9! I hope you have an enjoyable day!

I did some self care this morning...finally. I took a long bubble bath, washed my hair, and some other little things to spruce myself up. We'll go out for a walk in a bit once my hair is dry enough. The rest of the day we'll just kick back. It's supposed to snow tonight into early tomorrow. Maybe hubby will get lucky with a snow day. His workplace is generous with them.

Happy Birthday, Scooter!!

[hopeless2015]

Happy birthday Scooter9..enjoy your day!!

Kinda a weird weekend, but fine. Have some snow falling but only predicted 1-3 inches. Hubby and I made omelets this morning and I've done a little cleaning. Just relaxing in recliner now. Might be a pjs all day kind of day.

Need to up the lamictal again on my titrate back up but dont expect any issues with that.

Work is going well one of my faculty told me I was doing a good job on Friday and that was nice to hear. I'm still really glad I transferred to this new department. It was a much needed change and I'm learning new things. Feels like it was meant to be honestly. My old department was great, wonderful people who stuck by me when things were bad but, I needed a change..a fresh start and that's really what this has been. They don't know anything about my mental health issues and I'm hoping to keep it that way.

Hugs to all

[Nammu]

Happy Birthday Scooter!

[Sunflower123]

Happy birthday Scooter!!

[yellow_fleurs]

Kind of okay, kind of intermittently a bit anxious and sad. Not going to let it stop me today, though. I am getting stuff done on my paper today. I also did laundry, took my supplements, and made lunch. I also made plans for exercising this week and going to try a meditation center to encourage me to get into that practice. I am slowly adding things to my life. I am trying to get one good habit down, then add the next. So, now that I am into exercising again, I am going to add the meditation. Once I am in that habit, I might do something else. I think I might try to volunteer this month, too.

Also, I have an appointment with my therapist this week. I have a decent amount to discuss since it has been 5 weeks since our last appointment. I might ask her what she thinks of my diagnosis. I am trying to decide if I should go back and discuss it with my psychiatrist or get another opinion, too. I am mostly focusing on treatment, not labels, but it kind of helps to really understand what's going on I think in order to get the right treatment.