[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone and it is Monday again why does the weekend always feel so short. Anyway I like work and going there honestly doesn't feel like work. It's something I truly do enjoy. Granted today was busy and I saw very little of my office since I did have a new nurse to show around and make her feel wanted. Then I had to deal with an argument between providers since they didn't like my idea so I had to smooth ruffled feathers. Plus it seemed like the day of complaints just because people wanted to complain. Busy Monday then again it is Monday so maybe I will have a better week.

Tomorrow I am meeting the Supervisor of the Housekeeping service we use and that is probably going to be a large mess; but my arm is still red and it's been a week and I have been on a topical steroid. They poked the dragon and it wants to know why we use such a harmful cleaner; used in really a non public area. So got to do my management duties and make sure it doesn't happen again. I also stopped a got another lock for my office and now only my boss and I have a key for it; so I will not have to worry ever again about harsh scary chemicals in my office. I know that sounds ridiculous but this I know for a fact will not happen again.

M and I are still really good we hung out after work and then when I got home I took a shower and did my night routine; I love my dress clothes but I don't think anything beats the comfort of a legging.

I am sorry to all of those who are suffering. You get extra hugs.

Hugs to everyone

I had an attack of anxiety this morning when my dog's grooming confirmation email came thru for Thursday. I'm anxious because it is a new place and it tends to be an ordeal as i don't have a car and have to figure out how to get my dog there and back. Sometimes cab drivers are grouchy.

On the upside, the anxiety made me more active, with a shower, tidying up and two loads of laundry. The worst of the anxiety passed in about an hour and i just feel a little keyed-up now. I hate having appointments because i get bad anticipatory anxiety. I just keep telling myself that everything is alright.

I hope i can sleep it off.

[Aurelius710]

Eventful day! Day off from work, but I have my mother coming up to visit after class and have to call my psych NP about rescheduling my appointment. Hopefully (shot in the dark), he'll have something today or early tomorrow. We have some important stuff to chat about.

[liveforsummer]

Thought it was Sunday when I woke. Then when I was up I thought it’s monday. Now I realize it’s tueday but it didn’t make sense. Sleep sucks. I’m really tired and have dozed off already after eating. I can’t even explain the impact bad sleep has on me to those IRL. I know you all understand it’s importance for those with BP. My thoughts start going black. I keep telling myself they’re not real. Just intrusive thoughts. I’ll feel better as the day wears on. Thanks for listening to me gripe.

I'm devastated about how yesterday turned out trying to get my dad help. Devastated! I'm afraid I'm not up to providing details all but to state the fact that there is not adequate help for people in crisis for addictions and psychiatric issues in my state. The bureaucracy is too extreme. I want people to know that it's not this bad at all in some other countries in the world.

There was some cleaning i have been putting off for months that i got done today! Real happy about that. With the tidying i did yesterday my place looks really nice!

[Scooter9]

Ugh I'm having a really low day today.

I'm trying to distract myself with working on my book and stuff but the low mood keeps creeping in. Maybe part of it is situational because I'm feeling really alone today too.

Come to think of it, I was feeling pretty bad during the night too. Really lonely. While I was trying to sleep.

It's so odd because I live with my wife and son but I feel so alone.

Hugs to everyone that's struggling.

[pirilin]

Getting better.
Today, I decided to follow the doc's instructions, sort of.
At least, I didn't go out. And laid down a couple of times with the pea bag.

I'm so scare of not being able to drive, that I drove the same day of the op.
Hidden from La Bruja, of course.
I hope the day they ask for my car keys never comes. I hope to die before.
Not driving to me is like sitting in a wheelchair. Sort of.

Nevertheless, life goes on normally inside the house.
I'm betting in the auctions, as usual, paying what I can, and being optimistic.
I'm also playing Candy Crush. Not too much acumen necessary.
Poker is a different story. Tomorrow.

Be Safe and Happy!!!!.

Cheers.+

[VerMOZZica]

I didn`t get up to too much today. I was supposed to go to the mall today but I ended up staying home but I did run a few errands later. I cleaned my turtle`s tank and finished cleaning the bathroom. Later my Mom drove me to pick up my meds at the pharmacy and I went to the 99 cent store. I think this new med I`m taking is making me tired. Hugs to all that are struggling right now.

[wildflowerchild25]

Tough day today. Hard to describe. I feel depressed but more like a numb depression than anything. I feel utterly mentally exhausted, like I was swimming with weights on today. Treading water with weights around my neck, as LTJ would say. I don’t know. I guess it could be from being physically ill for so long. My ears have not improved even with taking the decongestant so that could be getting me down. I don’t know. All I know is I can’t taje any time off work so I better get my *** up in the morning and get there.

I just want to not be me for awhile. I don’t want to die, I just want to be normal and not have these spells of low mood. Of course this is only a couple of days and I could wake up tomorrow and he fine but I’m just getting tired of it. I just want to be well for real. Forever. I don’t want to struggle with this **** anymore.

[cashart10]

I won’t go into too much of my day. I posted that on my thread. But I bickered with the hubs when I got home over who was taking my son to Boy Scouts. I usually do it but had the day from hell and Tues is a bad night for my husband because of his work/sleep schedule. We finally decided to just keep him home this week. I also got take out instead of cooking. I just wasn’t having it. And, I made a deal with the hubs that if I did homework/studying for spelling tests, he’d do the dishes and tidy up. Now, I’ve taken all my night meds and 4 of them are pretty sedating so I imagine I’ll be getting tired and falling asleep soon.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Franann

New here, not sure how forums and posting work here

Welcome!!! 😍

[TheSeaCat]

Hello everyone and happy Tuesday I had another day of mostly being away from my office today. The meeting with the Housekeeping Super was downright awful. She honestly had zero respect towards me which honestly made me hate her the moment I met her. She's like you honestly are to young to be a manager and the boss is stupid for trusting you to partially run a clinic; besides it's not our fault you have delicate skin and had a reaction to our cleaners. It was so bad I had to involve boss to discuss the issue at hand since it was obvious she had no respect for me. I don't really care what she thought of me. I just wanted to know why they used what they used and where everything was used. I also wanted better answers but still that is well within my means to know and have meetings.

Oh well instead of dealing with her I got to deal with a nursing problem and checking in and making sure the nurses are happy and what suggestions they have. I am a very interactive boss so it's nice having those check ins. We need more nurses so I am dealing with reading applications and getting opinions from the actual nurses on their thoughts. Which is very helpful to me.

I am doing very well heart wise; I think he has nailed my medication and it feels nice to know that the medication is working. My pulse ox showed a 92 today. I was shocked that I'm so very close to being in the 80's it's not even funny. I feel really happy with the numbers I have been seeing; not to mention I'm feeling better on the medication if that makes sense.

Hugs to everyone

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

She's like you honestly are to young to be a manager and the boss is stupid for trusting you to partially run a clinic;

Hugs to everyone

Glad your heartrate is better. I have mild tachycardia from clozapine and it's annoying. I'm glad it isn't worse.

Being young and in authority can be really hard or really funny. At my first post-master's job I was supervising 3 or 4 people who were 5-10 years older than me. I'd been there a while when my assistant got a phone call for "that girl who helps out in therapy". He laughed and laughed explaining I was his supervisor. I also once had a patient tell me "You are 12 and you may NOT tell me what to do". (I was 25 but looked young). I had to have an assistant sit there and I'd tell the assistant what I needed and she'd get the patient to do it and I'd make a note then repeat. It was funny but sometimes got old in those first years. I guess try to laugh as much as you can and ignore the rest.

[Wander]

I am so damn happy. HAPPY, HAPPY, HAPPY!!! Yet still having dark thoughts. Is that even a thing?
I am still IP for the dark thoughts and now med change. Yet, I want to run and play and shop but they wont even let me out on escourted leave. BOO!! Well I guess it has only been for an hour. I think my med change set it off. Started Geodon last night night. Woke up severely hungover and slept another two hours. Then I did only ten minutes of Yoga and I was set on fire by the activity. What has happened to me? Whatever it is I love it. Well as long as the dark thoughts go away as energy plus them = disaster. The nurses are keeping a close eye on me so don't worry. My Mum has also taken my cash and credit card from me so I can't by stupid things I don't want or need, plus bing on the snack machines.

[yellow_fleurs]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Glad your heartrate is better. I have mild tachycardia from clozapine and it's annoying. I'm glad it isn't worse.

Being young and in authority can be really hard or really funny. At my first post-master's job I was supervising 3 or 4 people who were 5-10 years older than me. I'd been there a while when my assistant got a phone call for "that girl who helps out in therapy". He laughed and laughed explaining I was his supervisor. I also once had a patient tell me "You are 12 and you may NOT tell me what to do". (I was 25 but looked young). I had to have an assistant sit there and I'd tell the assistant what I needed and she'd get the patient to do it and I'd make a note then repeat. It was funny but sometimes got old in those first years. I guess try to laugh as much as you can and ignore the rest.

Oh I have been there, too! Supervising people older than me. I totally felt like an impostor. It was actually not a great experience and I was sort of picked on, although not really by the people I directly supervised, more like the other people I dealt with and my supervisors. I thought at the time I just didn't have the skills and was too sensitive, but in retrospect the problem was not really just with me. TheSeaCat hang in there!

[yellow_fleurs]

Went swimming today with a friend and feeling good form that. We made plans to swim twice a week from now on. Now I am energized and up too late, although I also had a little caffeine.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Went swimming today with a friend and feeling good form that. We made plans to swim twice a week from now on. Now I am energized and up too late, although I also had a little caffeine.

That sounds like a really good plan. I’m glad it was beneficial to your well being.

[Sunflower123]

I had planned to meet my daughter half way for lunch today. I couldn’t manage that and have been on the couch all day. You know it’s not a good day for me when it involves my daughter and I can’t do it. Feeling a bit better now. I have a busy day tomorrow with several appointments/events. I think tomorrow will be better and I’ll meet her on Thursday.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I think my 5 year old fridge is dying.

File under things I do not need.....

[TheSeaCat]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

Oh I have been there, too! Supervising people older than me. I totally felt like an impostor. It was actually not a great experience and I was sort of picked on, although not really by the people I directly supervised, more like the other people I dealt with and my supervisors. I thought at the time I just didn't have the skills and was too sensitive, but in retrospect the problem was not really just with me. TheSeaCat hang in there!

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

Glad your heartrate is better. I have mild tachycardia from clozapine and it's annoying. I'm glad it isn't worse.

Being young and in authority can be really hard or really funny. At my first post-master's job I was supervising 3 or 4 people who were 5-10 years older than me. I'd been there a while when my assistant got a phone call for "that girl who helps out in therapy". He laughed and laughed explaining I was his supervisor. I also once had a patient tell me "You are 12 and you may NOT tell me what to do". (I was 25 but looked young). I had to have an assistant sit there and I'd tell the assistant what I needed and she'd get the patient to do it and I'd make a note then repeat. It was funny but sometimes got old in those first years. I guess try to laugh as much as you can and ignore the rest.

Thank you both for your comment. I usually get it from patients so I'm kinda used to the you are to young for your job comment; it just kinda stunned me hearing it come from another manager. Ironically the actual staff has never had a problem with me. I usually laugh when a patient tells me to go play in the sandbox and let an adult deal with their problem. I can usually stand my ground or at least lie about my age to get my point across and deal with their issue. I just thought it was so weird that the housekeeping super wanted to insult my age.

[Wander]

OMG, I am so, so happy!!!!! I feel invincible. Unfortunately the nurses hold me back. I must make my escape.

[Pookyl]

Mood up and I don’t care. I can still control it so I’m not worried. My head feels like I’ve been drinking. I miss drinking.
Bipolar has turned me into such a micromanaging goody two shoes. I’m seeing my pdoc next week. I’ve got time to have some fun.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by TheSeaCat

Hello everyone and happy Tuesday I had another day of mostly being away from my office today. The meeting with the Housekeeping Super was downright awful. She honestly had zero respect towards me which honestly made me hate her the moment I met her. She's like you honestly are to young to be a manager and the boss is stupid for trusting you to partially run a clinic; besides it's not our fault you have delicate skin and had a reaction to our cleaners. It was so bad I had to involve boss to discuss the issue at hand since it was obvious she had no respect for me. I don't really care what she thought of me. I just wanted to know why they used what they used and where everything was used. I also wanted better answers but still that is well within my means to know and have meetings.

Oh well instead of dealing with her I got to deal with a nursing problem and checking in and making sure the nurses are happy and what suggestions they have. I am a very interactive boss so it's nice having those check ins. We need more nurses so I am dealing with reading applications and getting opinions from the actual nurses on their thoughts. Which is very helpful to me.

I am doing very well heart wise; I think he has nailed my medication and it feels nice to know that the medication is working. My pulse ox showed a 92 today. I was shocked that I'm so very close to being in the 80's it's not even funny. I feel really happy with the numbers I have been seeing; not to mention I'm feeling better on the medication if that makes sense.

Hugs to everyone

Nothing like having a patient thinking you’re too young. The phrase “are you really actually old enough to do this?” was a common one.

[wildflowerchild25]

Is anyone else’s first thought in the morning

Possible trigger:

I wish I could just kill myself and/or cut myself

? Mine was yesterday and today. And I want to cry. I don’t know how I’m gonna get through the day