Super Happy and Dangerous - POSS TRIGGEr

I have been suicidal for weeks, which is the main reason I am iP. Suddenly after starting Geodon I am hypomanic. My thoughts are racing, my mood is high as a kite, BUT, my thoughts still obsess over death. I was put in here due to psychosis and SI. The psychosis seems to be waning as I am beginning to have insight, but this contradictory mood and thoughts is really odd. Anyone had this before. Maybe mixed? My mixed is usually depressed with manic symptoms on top. This seems to be the reverse. I love life so much right now but want to destroy it too. WTF is that?

Sorry I am hogging the posts. My mind is on fire. What do I tell the nurses? or my pdoc if I see him today? I want to stay happy. I don't want them to take my happiness away.

Tell your pdoc. I'm usually the I love everything let me burn everything. Not down + mania. It's mania + depression for me. I think that can be more dangerous.

I get the manic suicidal combo all the time and my psych team refer to it as ‘mixed’. Let the nurses and your pdoc know exactly what you’ve said here

Damn, they would ruin my fun, and my escape. A nurse just notice my very obvious change in mood. They are upping their observations of me. She asked me about my thoughts. I told her racing and weird. Kinda true. If I see my pdoc today I guess I will tell him the whole truth. I am pissed at him for not showing yesterday so I will see how far I get. Maybe mixed is the answer. Just usually I am very low with severe agitation, racing thoughts and energy. This is different. Perhaps more of a manic mixed state. The suicidal bit confuses me though.

Oh, ***k! I gave in and told my nurse my detailed, imminent plans. She called my pdoc, who will arrive in 1 hour and 15 minutes. He advised her to give me large amounts of meds(for my constution) and to watch me every 5-10 minutes until gets here. I spoke because I want to live, yet I am angry I spoke because I want to die. Before today I made these plans but was too depressed to go ahead. Today I switched and have plenty of energy to complete it.

PLease don't worry if I don't reply. I will probably be safely passed out.

Wander, I am really glad you spoke up. A part of you knows something is off and wants to live.It sounds like mixed possibly--hypomanic with depressed symptoms on top. I think I have been there when I was on Lamictal. Please keep being honest to get the help you need. You are not stable or well as you know even if you feel happy.