[Miss Laura]

Yes just as the title says.... anyone have any issues regarding this. I have just had a session with my counsellor and I opened up about it. She says it's part of my anxiety as the obsessive side to it. I stalk people in real life and I stalk TV characters. She says I'm lonely and don't like being alone which is why I hold onto people.

[cashart10]

Absolutely! When I am manic I frequently have this issue. I almost always have bizarre obsessions and several times I’ve been so obsessed with someone (usually an older female) that I have once felt the need to apologize for stalking her but insisting that I couldn’t help it and offering to have my husband hide my labtop (that was before we did everything in our phones). It is very embarrassing in hindsight but it is something I feel I have zero control over. Even my husband tries to step in early on if he notices a trend starting now.

It’s not always real life people for me either. I have also had total obsessions with Mary Tyler Moore (who did actually become my mentor once it slowed down) and Molly Shannon.

[Miss Laura]

I had a Dramatherapist who I adored. She left the city and the job to go else where. I stalked her all the way to the train station and now I go online to see her pictures. I just look at them and think God I miss you so much. If I could draw I would make a scrap book of the women I miss so that I could refer to it if and when I need it.

I stalked my support worker at a mental health organisation. I ended up being moved onto someone else. It broke my heart.

My counsellor says I grieve when I lose someone. I'm heartbroken. This is so true

I'll admit that I have been stalked more than me stalking others. However, I have had a couple of men that I was super infatuated with in the past. I'm not sure it reached the point of me "stalking" them, but I did find myself trying to find ways to run into them or be where they were at similar times. In one of the cases, I started daydreaming about him maladaptively. That was quite serious because it affected my daily life! It got to the point where when I actually saw him, I was prone to dissociative symptoms.

[Miss Laura]

The irony is I have sever paranoia about being followed.... I'm laughing cause it's stupid. I shouldn't be doing it but I am prone to it.

My counsellor says she's worried I stalk the wrong person and get myself into trouble. Maybe I become too vulnerable in a sense

[wiretwister]

I think most know I obsesse over my kpop girl group ... one in particular ... never going to korea though ( unless I win the lottery) ...

helped me come out of severe depression .... still ck her social media first thing when I fire up my computer ...

it you ever doubt me just click the pentrest link below ... it says it all ... but hey ... my pdoc and T are ok with it ... so what the heck ... better than binge drinking

[Miss Laura]

I deliberately don't drive, or hold a passport for this reason amongst others. I'm scared incase this is out of hand. My friend online thinks I need to tell my psych nurse when I see her on Tues. Gah I don't know

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

I deliberately don't drive, or hold a passport for this reason amongst others. I'm scared incase this is out of hand. My friend online thinks I need to tell my psych nurse when I see her on Tues. Gah I don't know

I think that is why I follow someone " unreachable " ... I had a psychologist tell me to just sell something and go met her ... but being an entertainer she is always behind a wall of security ... but I did tell my pdoc and my T and just about anyone that will listen .... I have always thought I am paying these guys so I tell them to get there input ...

hope you find an answer that is right for you .... Tigger ..

[downandlonely]

I don't think celebrity stalking is as bad as stalking a real life person. Celebrities put everything out there, so they are pretty much asking people to know everything about their lives.

[wiretwister]

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I don't think celebrity stalking is as bad as stalking a real life person. Celebrities put everything out there, so they are pretty much asking people to know everything about their lives.

I would say you are right ... and it is a real shame ... many have to live with personal safety fears ...

I really do not know how to describe my feeling toward soonkyu ... when I was really really depressed actually looking for a way out I heard her voice and I have never looked back ... she actually did save my life .... I think my real thought is to be able to say thank you ... even she in not irl I feel a deep debt toward her ... hard to explain ... not even sure if I understand it myself ...

[cashart10]

Here is the email I was referring to if it eases your mind any. This situation was a major factor in helping me come to terms with my illness:

"I have developed an unhealthy attachment to you. I've been trying to explain this to you, but I didn't even understand the problem. When relating to most people, I do have a filter and I can recognize what is normal and abnormal, acceptable and unacceptable behavior. But sometimes I develop unhealthy attachments. I have done this since I can remember. I am afraid this is what is becoming of me to you. I can stop emailing you--I may tell my husband to hide my laptop, but I have been rehearsing conversations with you out loud, almost incessantly, when I am alone. And I have thought of you as being almost superhuman.”

Originally Posted by downandlonely

I don't think celebrity stalking is as bad as stalking a real life person. Celebrities put everything out there, so they are pretty much asking people to know everything about their lives.

I disagree. It is just as bad. Not everyone who is famous puts everything out there. They are real people just like everyone else. I haven't stalked, but I have been stalked. It sucked. I can obsess a bit, but I wouldn't make it personal.

[Miss Laura]

Any tips on how to minimise it as I dont think I'll be able to stop altogether

[winter loneliness]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Any tips on how to minimise it as I dont think I'll be able to stop altogether

I don't know how to stop. I always have conversations in my head and think of scenarios involving a person I used to know. He has moved on but I still think of him.

[MickeyCheeky]

I have never experienced this, Miss Laura, so unfortunately I don't have a lot of advice to give to you Are you working through this with your counsellor? Is it helping? I certainly hope so. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. I hope you'll be able to work through this issue. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. You're definitely not alone in this, as this thread has already shown. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. We'll listen to what you have to say and won't judge you. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm here for you as well if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

[Miss Laura]

Originally Posted by MickeyCheeky

I have never experienced this, Miss Laura, so unfortunately I don't have a lot of advice to give to you Are you working through this with your counsellor? Is it helping? I certainly hope so. Is there anything we can do to help you? Please let us know. I hope you'll be able to work through this issue. Remember that we're here for you if you need it. You're definitely not alone in this, as this thread has already shown. Feel free to vent here as much as you want. We'll listen to what you have to say and won't judge you. Keep writing here if it helps. I'm here for you as well if you need it. Feel free to PM me anytime. Let me know if I can do something to help you. Wish you good luck! Let us know how it goes. Sending many hugs to you

I think I will be working through this with my counsellor. But I don't know. I'm kinda unsure and worried about it. I see my psych nurse on Tues and I'm in 2 mins to tell her. It's stupid obsessions that lead to this I think

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Any tips on how to minimise it as I dont think I'll be able to stop altogether

I don’t really have any tips either but I want to acknowledge your question. Again, for me, it is a symptom of mania and can be spotted a mile away. I start talking about the person incessantly and doing whatever I can to be near them. In the past (namely when I was young), I have just seemed like a leach but as I have gotten older, my husband has tried to keep tabs on these situations. He has, in the last few years, really stepped up as s caretaker for me when I am very unwell. He does what he can to minimize my contact with the person and does his best to make me aware that is is an unhealthy obsession and nothing more.

[winter loneliness]

Originally Posted by cashart10

I don’t really have any tips either but I want to acknowledge your question. Again, for me, it is a symptom of mania and can be spotted a mile away. I start talking about the person incessantly and doing whatever I can to be near them. In the past (namely when I was young), I have just seemed like a leach but as I have gotten older, my husband has tried to keep tabs on these situations. He has, in the last few years, really stepped up as s caretaker for me when I am very unwell. He does what he can to minimize my contact with the person and does his best to make me aware that is is an unhealthy obsession and nothing more.

That is wonderful that you have such a supportive husband. You are very lucky.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by winter loneliness

That is wonderful that you have such a supportive husband. You are very lucky.

Thank you! I agree! To be honest, and I think many here will attest, he hasn’t always been supportive. A few years ago we almost divorced and that was only because he couldn’t handle the behavior surrounding my illness. But, I have seen a total 180 and, while he does drive me bonkers because he wants total control when I’m not well, I can generally recognize it’s because he really does want the best for me. I have always loved him and I think he’s always loved me, my illness just overcame him. And, I’d be lying if I didn’t admit I worry it can happen again. But, I’m taking it one day at a time.

[Pookyl]

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Any tips on how to minimise it as I dont think I'll be able to stop altogether

Ask your counsellor to teach you about empathy. You mention being paranoid about being followed yourself. Imagine that you ARE actually being followed yourself everyday all day.
My sister works in mental health. She had a patient stalk her. In the end my sister had to be moved to work at a different facility for 6 mths, her 3 primary aged children had to move schools, she had to change phone numbers, car registrations, she had to move to a new house etc. It was an awful scary experience involving police, court etc that nobody deserves to go through.
I know this sounds harsh. But having my little nieces and nephew living in fear really ticked me off.

[mountainstream]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

I disagree. It is just as bad. Not everyone who is famous puts everything out there. They are real people just like everyone else. I haven't stalked, but I have been stalked. It sucked. I can obsess a bit, but I wouldn't make it personal.

I agree. Celebrities are real people, just like other people. I have been stalked. Being stalked does suck.

[cashart10]

Originally Posted by Pookyl

Ask your counsellor to teach you about empathy. You mention being paranoid about being followed yourself. Imagine that you ARE actually being followed yourself everyday all day.
My sister works in mental health. She had a patient stalk her. In the end my sister had to be moved to work at a different facility for 6 mths, her 3 primary aged children had to move schools, she had to change phone numbers, car registrations, she had to move to a new house etc. It was an awful scary experience involving police, court etc that nobody deserves to go through.
I know this sounds harsh. But having my little nieces and nephew living in fear really ticked me off.

Wow! That sounds awful! I have never done anything close to that and I feel confident I never would. I can’t imagine how terrifying that must have felt for all of them!

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Yes just as the title says.... anyone have any issues regarding this. I have just had a session with my counsellor and I opened up about it. She says it's part of my anxiety as the obsessive side to it. I stalk people in real life and I stalk TV characters. She says I'm lonely and don't like being alone which is why I hold onto people.

First of all, kudos to you for admitting to your behavior and working on it in therapy...not everyone has the courage to do that (so good for you!)

As someone else has already mentioned, I think empathy is important. Will you feel comfortable if someone was stalking you? There is that golden rule of treating others as you would want to be treated. And what goes around somehow comes around at one point in your life. You would not want someone else stalking you someday, right?

So be kind to both yourself and others.

[Gabyunbound]

First of all, I'm sorry that you're having these urges. It must be scary and a bit mortifying as well.

You said, I think, that your therapist said you do it because you have trouble being alone. That and the unhealthy attachments, especially outside of BP episodes, sounds like something perhaps DBT-type therapy may be able to help; it may help to curb your urges and find healthy ways of dealing with being alone. Though your current therapist sounds insightful and hopefully she can help you with this.

As others have said, you are brave to bring this up. Best of luck in resolving it.

[pirilin]

Having being staked several times by several diferent people,
I can vouch that the feeling is erie, to say the least.

Some of them have described, the times I've gone into my house,
what car I was driving to the supermarket, how I was dressed, etc.

Hell, I'm not even a jealous person.
I couldn't care less what other people are doing, or why.

I've never asked anyone, including wives, "where are you".
All I ask is if they are OK.

Life is war. Either you attack, or are being attacked.