[Wander]

Originally Posted by spikes

about to go on a walk, hate being awake but it f eels like I'm not. I feel like realities are overlapping. yeah, that's what's happening.

That must be an awful feeling. I hope it passes soon.

[Victoria'smom]

I slept the day away because I couldn't take the anxiety anymore and took a zyprexa, I feel so weak.

[Scooter9]

I spoke too soon...the low mood has not passed, but it is not as bad as a few days ago, so that's the good news in this.

[LadyShadow]

Had an amazing interview today for a job I really want. God help me that this bipolar mess stays in check while I pursue full-time employment to finally be on my own. Please, dear Lord, give me the break that I need. I need this so bad.

My father was finally fully admitted into an addictions rehab. I hope he is in their dual diagnosis section. My siblings and I know relatively little. I know where he is. It's nearby to where I live. I will coordinate with my brother to get him clothes.

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Wander

Update. The hospital was great. They tested me for everything. In the end (tmi I’m sorry) it is severe constipation. I still feel bad but the treatment helped. Now I have a protocol to follow to eliminate it. So thankful I have a great hospital down the road.

On the other hand the Bipolar is still stable. I just have to deal with the PTSD which I think caused this issue due to serious stress. See my T today and hopefully he will he will help me deal with this and calm down.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar

[gina_re]

Well I had a job interview this afternoon. I think it went well, but then again I always think interviews go well and I end up not getting the job. But I'll hold out hope. Part of me doesnt want to go back to work. I stress too easily, and when I do it leads to an episode. But I have to pay my bills, so I have to work.
I stopped by sister's on the way home. My two year old nephew is definitely jealous of my eight month old niece. He started copying everything she did to get my attention. It was very awkward.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

He should have the report mailed in about a week. He already has a DVD of the images so he can compare them to his previous images. His next neurology appointment is in June, I think. I just hope less stress is working, otherwise he’ll have to go on infusions. That means at least one week of him feeling crappy for a crap shoot. MS meds are just as bad as Psych meds sometimes. It’s throwing Jello on a wall and seeing what sticks.

Oh damn I’m so sorry I hope that somehow something works out.

Jello and wall ??? Perfect explanation.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

One job interview done, one to go. Feeling anxious. I suspect I'd enjoy either job and if they both offer, I'm a HUGELY indecisive person (which is probably what's making me so nervous). Well, and I forgot to tell them I'll be going in for carpal tunnel surgery soon. Oops.


First one is kind if a nuisance to get to (double the commute, like an hour), but involves no public contact and has great hours (early start). The one later today is considerably closer, but has a bit more retail type hours (but only till 6) and involves sales (and design, which is not a problem). I always have epic fail at making a pro/con list as I can't really weigh the importance of things. Like... which is more important, commute time or dealing with customers? Ack, I don't know(!)


Anyhow, I'm blabbering, lol. Head a-swirl and waiting for the bus with nothing to do but think. And write.

Good for you !!! 2 interviews is the way to go , yep now becomes the problem , yes the bloody pro/con list.

Each offer you something you want and need. Is pay equal enough ? Factor in what your commuting costs are monthly.

Will either position come with any benefits ? Like sick days or vacation days ?

It’s always hard to make a decision.

I have no advice other than follow your gut, it will never steer you wrong.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by gina_re

Well I had a job interview this afternoon. I think it went well, but then again I always think interviews go well and I end up not getting the job. But I'll hold out hope. Part of me doesnt want to go back to work. I stress too easily, and when I do it leads to an episode. But I have to pay my bills, so I have to work.

I stopped by sister's on the way home. My two year old nephew is definitely jealous of my eight month old niece. He started copying everything she did to get my attention. It was very awkward.

Hope you get an offer on the job ! Is it a job you think would be a good fit for you ???

I bet it was awkward watching the kids.

[yellow_fleurs]

Looks like a few people are interviewing for jobs. Wishing everyone luck!!

Doing well, just got back from an hour or so walk. Skipped the geodon last night, almost skipped the zyprexa although that should probably be the one I skipped instead. Saw a huge python in the middle of the street along with a doll head, pretty sure the python was a hallucination though because I live in the north woods and it went away in the blink of an eye. I get by the day by not caring if I live or die, that's how I went on a walk anyways and ate the brownies we made at group.

[wildflowerchild25]

I’m doing pretty well. Beating myself up because I bought more cigarettes today. I just can’t seem to quit. But I have to because RS hates cigarettes and cigarette smoke. I only bought them because I won’t be seeing him today. I have to get rid of them before tomorrow. I also have to quit vaping before we get our own place over the summer. It’s too expensive and I can’t be putting it on my credit card every month. I want to continue to build my credit so we can buy a house eventually. So I have to build some willpower.

I bought a chrome book because I hate my laptop but I can’t afford a new laptop. And I don’t want a new laptop anyway. Windows is ********. I’ve hated it ever since I bought the damn thing. I bought it intially when I was hypomanic and I wanted to play my game. Then I bought the game and played it a grand total of four times. So **** that. Chrome book all the way. It will allow me to get my school work done easier.

I’m still depressed about my weight but I think I’m moving In the right direction. Eating much better. At least, eating less. I don’t know about better but less is a good start. The scale needs batteries so I can’t be sure I’ve lost weight but I don’t feel as bloated as last week so I should have dropped at least a couple of pounds of water weight.

I go back to work in one week. I’m nervous. I hope I remember everything. I had a nightmare about work the other night. That I went back and my classroom staff completely ignored me and were incredibly rude to me. I hope that’s not the case.

I hope everyone has a pleasant day.

[Daonnachd]

I see my T today and like always I don't know what to discuss.

My dad FINALLY managed to get all the way into a psych hospital/alcohol rehab (dual diagnosis ward). He's been there since yesterday afternoon. Luckily it's one only 15 mins drive from my home and about 30 mins drive from my siblings' homes. We're visiting him there tonight. I called to talk to him about an hour ago to check that he wants visitors tonight. He does. Of course now his fickle "What a predicament! Wish I wasn't here!" kicked in. He starts ranting that he thinks he'll be in the psych hospital for the rest of his life. He probably already asked to be discharged, but of course that wouldn't happen right away. He totally changes his tune on things 180 degrees. His illness talking.

His girlfriend asked if she can visit him, but I told her in a very nice and diplomatic way to let some days pass. Somehow either my uncle caught the drift that something's up with my dad or he wondered why he wasn't home with all the cars in the driveway. He called my sister as I was finishing my call to her. I told her it would be best not to encourage my uncle to get involved. Believe me! If he showed up during visiting hours and did harm, I swear I would challenge him to a fist fight. He's an a...whole.

The situation is stressful even though it's hopefully a step in the right direction for my dad.

[fern46]

I just found out my brother has an aggressive form of cancer. I'm devastated. We don't know much yet other than he's in for a battle. I hate waiting to find out just how far it has spread. Hopefully it is localized and he can beat it.

I'm trying my best to be mindful of my thoughts I know my spiraling out of control would be bad right now. I've been healthy for almost 6 months and I want to continue. My brother stood by me when I was sick. Time for me to do the same for him.

Sending my best wishes, fern. That is a hard situation.

[LadyShadow]

Time is moving at it's absolute SLOWEST right now. I guess I should be enjoying my freedom for a little while longer, but I HATE having this "up in the air" feeling. I start school in a few weeks and I really don't want to. I want to get this job I interviewed with yesterday and just be done with it. Just be done with it and get my life going. I am tired of trying and trying, I am just so, so tired.

[GoldenSnitch]

I’ve been having ridiculous brain zaps the last few days and all my pdoc says is to take Ativan. It does not help. And now today I’m all fuzzy and I keep forgetting things and I’ve been on a spending spree and I just don’t feel right at all. Not sure what’s going on.

[fern46]

Originally Posted by GoldenSnitch

I’ve been having ridiculous brain zaps the last few days and all my pdoc says is to take Ativan. It does not help. And now today I’m all fuzzy and I keep forgetting things and I’ve been on a spending spree and I just don’t feel right at all. Not sure what’s going on.

Zaps like popping in the back of your head? I had that before I went off the rails with my mixed episode. I'm sorry your pdoc isn't being more proactive.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by fern46

I just found out my brother has an aggressive form of cancer. I'm devastated. We don't know much yet other than he's in for a battle. I hate waiting to find out just how far it has spread. Hopefully it is localized and he can beat it.

I'm trying my best to be mindful of my thoughts I know my spiraling out of control would be bad right now. I've been healthy for almost 6 months and I want to continue. My brother stood by me when I was sick. Time for me to do the same for him.

Sending thoughts and prayers for you and your brother.

[Sunflower123]

I slept 13 hours last night. Woke up feeling great until the anxiety kicked in so I took a few Xanax...no more anxiety. A good, quiet day. Got Benji out of the kennel...made me so happy!

I’m reading a good book: You are a Bada$$ how to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life by Jen Sincero. It’s really resonating with me. I’m definitely looking forward to making positive changes and letting my “awesomeness” shine through.

I think my Geodon is slowly stopping working. I was going to ask for Seroquel but read it can cause weight gain. Anybody had experience with that? Any other suggestions?

Sending warm wishes and hugs to all.

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by fern46

I just found out my brother has an aggressive form of cancer. I'm devastated. We don't know much yet other than he's in for a battle. I hate waiting to find out just how far it has spread. Hopefully it is localized and he can beat it.


I'm trying my best to be mindful of my thoughts I know my spiraling out of control would be bad right now. I've been healthy for almost 6 months and I want to continue. My brother stood by me when I was sick. Time for me to do the same for him.

I'm so sorry you're both going through this. I'm glad you can be there for your brother. I hope for the best for you and your brother.

[Wander]

It’s my Birthday. Stayed overnight at my parents but can’t eat much because of my stomach issues so no feast today. Instead I will be hanging with my parents, sister, and four nieces and nephews. It will be wonderful just having them around. I am so lucky to have my family as I know so many don’t have any or much. So today I’m going to be extra grateful for that and for my life. I’m also sneaking in a swim at the beach. This warm autumn weather is amazing but I know it will be over soon.

[fern46]

Happy birthday Wander!!!