[fern46]

So far things have been really great after changing my meds. I was taking a nap almost every day before and now I feel normal again in the early afternoon. I didn't nap yesterday and I'm good today as well. Now I just need to figure out how to fill all the free time I have up. Today I called my brother to catch up and I'm watching the birds. It is a beautiful day.Tonight will be my 3rd night taking my Geodon at night, and I am loving it so far.

[Sunflower123]

I’m really struggling today. The depression and anxiety have me afraid I’m losing my mind. I’m trying to hold out for therapy on the 29th. Currently curled up in a ball on the couch trying to distract myself.

I’ve caught up on my sleep the past two nights. Really, I should feel great instead of like a hot mess. I miss the beagle. He gives me purpose and focus. If I can get off the couch, I will get him out of the kennel early.

Not doing well. I started keeping a mood log and it gave me a secret achievement award for being an emotional roller coaster. Wow...that’s just...great. Awesome. Might be time for a medication change.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m really struggling today. The depression and anxiety have me afraid I’m losing my mind. I’m trying to hold out for therapy on the 29th. Currently curled up in a ball on the couch trying to distract myself.

I’ve caught up on my sleep the past two nights. Really, I should feel great instead of like a hot mess. I miss the beagle. He gives me purpose and focus. If I can get off the couch, I will get him out of the kennel early.

Not doing well. I started keeping a mood log and it gave me a secret achievement award for being an emotional roller coaster. Wow...that’s just...great. Awesome. Might be time for a medication change.

Warm wishes and hugs to all.

Sorry you’re struggling so much. Can you call your therapist and speak on the phone, even if it’s only for a few minutes? My therapist will let me talk to her outside of an appointment if I’m really struggling.

[LadyShadow]

Been doing ok symptom wise. I have a foot in reality and things are going well. Looking to start working and get some sort of stability in my life. It's time I stand on my own.

[Wander]

Off to hospital. My stomach pains are getting worse as is the constipation. (Sorry, tmi). Will let you know how I am when I can. Just hope it’s something simple.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

thinking of you Wander

[Daonnachd]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Yeah......well didn't sleep last night despite taking both ambien. Sometime after dawn fell asleep for a couple hours. Feel like something my cat dragged in. Apparently there was a big storm while I slept. Storms have never bothered me.easter went fine. I survived. I just don't spend the energy I used to on hearing people. Even with the most powerful AIDS they make I can't hear normal, takes lots of energy to listen and lip read. So I'm fine sitting in another room by my self, chill'n.

Hmmm....going to have to try peeps in the microwave....how long do ya put them in for?

I hope you get some quality sleep tonight.
Yesterday there was a conversation about peeps in the nuker. It's my understanding that you simply put them in for two minutes (or so), but watch them until they explode. At that point you stop the nuker. I've never actually done it or even seen it done so I may be wrong.

[Daonnachd]

I went to see my pdoc today. I have to before every ECT session. She has to verify I'm capable of making the decision myself. Anyhow, she brought up a time when I was borderline psychotic. It's strange because I can't recall the situation at all. (Thank you, ECT.) Other than that it was a pleasant drive on the roads winding through the Napa Valley and over the mountains. More than once I had it at 80+. Oh, that is so exhilarating.

[Unrigged64072835]

Hope you feel better, Wander.

[Unrigged64072835]

Still feeling low and sleep is still erratic even with increased Trileptal and added Lunesta. At least my husband's MRI is done and we don't have to go anywhere until next Monday.

[Blueberrybook]

I'm here. Sorry I can't keep up with threads these days. Still have iron-deficiency anemia. The doctor put me on iron pills, and I guess I have to take those a few weeks, and they will do more bloodwork to see if I'm not consuming enough iron or if I am not absorbing iron properly. I never have had fantastic iron levels, but I've never been anemic this long or to the point of having ice-eating pica. I want to eat crushed ice all day, every day, it's crazy. My PCP referred me to a hematologist, but my appointment with him isn't until May 7. I do follow up with the GI doc this week. I think this hiatal hernia he's found is giving me some issues too.

I'm just exhausted. And having trouble complying with taking my Seroquel as prescribed, which gives me bouts of mania or hypomania when I'll do stupid things (overspend money) or become consumed with vaccuuming the house, not caring how many hours it's putting off lunch. I don't want to eat much as I'm pretty much nauseous all the time now. It makes cooking hard.

I'm tired, slipping into depression this evening. My T is off this week. Maybe the GI doc will suggest something for the anemia or at least the stupid constant nausea. I'll see on Wednesday.

I'm just so exhausted, sometimes having a hard time breathing, and yet many nights I still have insomnia. I am ready for this to be over. I really want some answers. I don't want to have this be some medical mystery. Just tired.

[Scooter9]

I think the really low feelings have passed. Still feeling body aches but I'm not feeling as withdrawn as a couple of days ago.

My personality has changed over the past several years. I'm very shy and quiet now I wasn't this way before. I was always reserved and quiet but I was funny and could engage in a conversation. Now I just prefer to listen and contribute little.

I wonder if that's the Latuda? I've been on it for 4 years now.

During my low I was researching other meds approved for bipolar depression reading up on them. I didn't really find anything helpful. I'll talk to my doctor.

I'd really like to get back to my baseline again.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I’m really struggling today. The depression and anxiety have me afraid I’m losing my mind. I’m trying to hold out for therapy on the 29th. Currently curled up in a ball on the couch trying to distract myself.


I’ve caught up on my sleep the past two nights. Really, I should feel great instead of like a hot mess. I miss the beagle. He gives me purpose and focus. If I can get off the couch, I will get him out of the kennel early.


Not doing well. I started keeping a mood log and it gave me a secret achievement award for being an emotional roller coaster. Wow...that’s just...great. Awesome. Might be time for a medication change.


Warm wishes and hugs to all.

I’m sorry your struggling. Bipolar makes life so difficult at times. Hope you got the pup out so he can love on you. Dogs love is pure and a gift.

Be kind to your self

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Yeah......well didn't sleep last night despite taking both ambien. Sometime after dawn fell asleep for a couple hours. Feel like something my cat dragged in. Apparently there was a big storm while I slept. Storms have never bothered me.easter went fine. I survived. I just don't spend the energy I used to on hearing people. Even with the most powerful AIDS they make I can't hear normal, takes lots of energy to listen and lip read. So I'm fine sitting in another room by my self, chill'n.


Hmmm....going to have to try peeps in the microwave....how long do ya put them in for?

I hope you get back to sleeping well. Lack of sleep is horrible.

My preferred peep cooking time is 57 seconds

[Victoria'smom]

I’m flipping **** at the drop of a hat, I’m not sleeping well, nervous all the time. My husband doesn’t agree with me. I need a shower but ours is broken. I’m overwhelmed by nothing. In less than two weeks my son leaves for the summer. I have no idea how we will care for our dog. It worries me because he is unwell and traveling with my father (huge trigger) for 3 days. My dad gives “advice” in a way that is always negative about the person. Three days of that can take a toll. They don’t get along well. My dad doesn’t “understand” my son. Miguel already says he hates my family. So this can either be really good or really bad. I’m trying to be optimistic. I’m already petrified of driving so sending on him a three day drive is huge for me. It was supposed to be both my parents which would cut the negativity but now my mom is flying and we can’t back out. We’ll see what H’s T says but I may go back to therapy.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Fharraige

Still feeling low and sleep is still erratic even with increased Trileptal and added Lunesta. At least my husband's MRI is done and we don't have to go anywhere until next Monday.

Hope your sleep improves. How long til you hear about mri results , I hate the waiting bit.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by Blueberrybook

I'm here. Sorry I can't keep up with threads these days. Still have iron-deficiency anemia. The doctor put me on iron pills, and I guess I have to take those a few weeks, and they will do more bloodwork to see if I'm not consuming enough iron or if I am not absorbing iron properly. I never have had fantastic iron levels, but I've never been anemic this long or to the point of having ice-eating pica. I want to eat crushed ice all day, every day, it's crazy.

i hope they get an answer soon. I had very low hemoglobin before my hysterectomy. I kept hanging one unit from getting ferritin infusions that would have made me feel better. It was really rough feeling that tired. I was so glad when things returned to normal after my surgery.

I hope you are feeling better very soon.

[Pookyl]

Feeling good. But I don’t think I’m sleeping enough so I’ve got ever the slightest buzz.
It shall be our secret 😂

[Unrigged64072835]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Hope your sleep improves. How long til you hear about mri results , I hate the waiting bit.

He should have the report mailed in about a week. He already has a DVD of the images so he can compare them to his previous images. His next neurology appointment is in June, I think. I just hope less stress is working, otherwise he’ll have to go on infusions. That means at least one week of him feeling crappy for a crap shoot. MS meds are just as bad as Psych meds sometimes. It’s throwing Jello on a wall and seeing what sticks.

I had to get up extra early today since my husband had an early meeting. I'm kind of glad since now I'll feel I have more hours in the day.

I have lots of projects to do this week. I MUST do a lot of French homework/study. My French instructor wants me to progress through the book much faster. I wish that there was some kind of little electric shock that I would get if I procrastinate too long.

I have been preparing for our yard sale this weekend. There's still lots to do, plus we need to haul all of the stuff from the basement to the garage. It's a lot! I have to also price everything. I did a lot of research this past seven days trying to figure out appropriate pricing.

This Thursday the PSE&G will come to fix our phone line. They will surely dig up part of our front lawn and garden. Then I'll need to fix it, then plant the flowers we bought. Normally I wouldn't plant this early, but my neighbor with whom we share the garden is listing her house for sale. I want our part of the garden to look nice.

Yesterday I contacted an auction about selling some Hummel figurines I inherited almost 18 years ago. I'm yet to hear from them. I did a ton of research for the contact letter I sent to them.

Today I have my therapist in the afternoon and another evening lecture on modern China topics. That will be lecture 5 of 6. So far I've attended 5 of the 5 so far. I'm proud of myself. My next French class is this Friday.

The weekend after this coming one is my 30th high school reunion. I bought a nice dress and cardigan for the day. I had wished I would lose some weight, but I didn't. Oh well!

about to go on a walk, hate being awake but it f eels like I'm not. I feel like realities are overlapping. yeah, that's what's happening.

[Moose72]

Saw my case manager this morning. She seems happy with things. I haven't seen her as much. I told her I'm off Seroquel and a few others since a few months ago when I was seeing her more. She said to watch out because sometimes drugs stay in your system for a bit after you quit them.

Before that, I went on a nice morning walk with my friend who is also trying to lose weight. She's already lost a LOT from her highest.

One job interview done, one to go. Feeling anxious. I suspect I'd enjoy either job and if they both offer, I'm a HUGELY indecisive person (which is probably what's making me so nervous). Well, and I forgot to tell them I'll be going in for carpal tunnel surgery soon. Oops.

First one is kind if a nuisance to get to (double the commute, like an hour), but involves no public contact and has great hours (early start). The one later today is considerably closer, but has a bit more retail type hours (but only till 6) and involves sales (and design, which is not a problem). I always have epic fail at making a pro/con list as I can't really weigh the importance of things. Like... which is more important, commute time or dealing with customers? Ack, I don't know(!)

Anyhow, I'm blabbering, lol. Head a-swirl and waiting for the bus with nothing to do but think. And write.

When I got home from my tdoc's and an errand, I found a message on my home answering machine from my sister. I called her back and she said that my father was so severely ill early this morning from extreme drinking that he asked my brother to take him to the hospital. My brother took him to the ER and just left him there and went to work. My siblings and I have spent way too many hours in vain in ERs this past year trying to get my dad help. I told my sister to tell my brother that I agreed with what he did this morning, leaving my dad there.

We don't know where my dad is right now. Both my sister and I refuse to call my dad. Doing so would only make us frantic or yell at him ballistically. My brother will eventually find out if our dad is home or elsewhere. My sister and I are guessing he called his girlfriend or some other friend and they picked him up. We don't know that for sure, though.

If my father continues on this path much longer, he will either die or kill someone via drinking and driving. My sister and I already discussed post death plans for him. Even though our father is an extremely popular person in our town, we don't plan to give him a service or funeral. We just don't think we could bear seeing all of his enabling alcoholic and blood sucking "friends". Our plan is to only have a family get together with our uncles and other close family. Any announcement will include a request to donate to our state's association on mental health and addictions.

[Wander]

Update. The hospital was great. They tested me for everything. In the end (tmi I’m sorry) it is severe constipation. I still feel bad but the treatment helped. Now I have a protocol to follow to eliminate it. So thankful I have a great hospital down the road.

On the other hand the Bipolar is still stable. I just have to deal with the PTSD which I think caused this issue due to serious stress. See my T today and hopefully he will he will help me deal with this and calm down.