[yellow_fleurs]

Good Morning! My car broke down so no acupuncture for me today. Well, it stalled and worked after jumping it. The battery and alternator are fine I was told so I am wondering if it is a wire or alternator belt maybe? Need to get it checked out.

I had a good time a therapy yesterday, I was in a super chipper mood and had less obsessive thoughts so we were kind of able to talk about my situation while I was in a good place mentally. It allowed us to talk more about the overall issues I was experiencing and the plan. I learned that my obsessive and compulsive issues started much younger at least as early as 15 when I developed an eating disorder. It really was like a compulsion. I also remember other signs of OCD from when I was younger although I am not sure if they would met diagnostic criteria. I am kind of relieved to be getting treatment for this after at least 16 years. Sounds like we are going to do Exposure Response Prevention therapy which is a proven treatment for OCD. I think I will end up with that official diagnosis based on our conversation. Also, still not sure about the bipolar disorder, we will just have to wait and see. I hope writing about OCD on this bipolar board is not too out of place, especially since my bipolar diagnosis is now in question once more. I mean I don't think my psychiatrist is questioning it at all, but my therapist is getting a different perspective of me off of medication, so I am also wondering her opinion.

Happy weekend everyone! Time for breakfast and coffee and trying to diagnose my car myself (haha I was successful at this only one other time in my life).

[tecomsin]

I feel more comfortable and safe cutting down the small dose of olanzapine at night wearing my new fitbit. I cut back from 1.25 mg to half of that last night and the night before. (This means cutting the pills into quarters with my pill cutter.) But I got over 8 hours of sleep in both cases so I will continue on 1/4 for awhile to make sure my sleep is stable before I cut back to zero.

I want to get off of olanzapine as it causes my blood sugar to rise and I don't want to become a diabetic.

I noticed more anxiety yesterday morning than usual and some intrusive thoughts yesterday about catastrophic things that could happen in my life.

I will be seeing my son tomorrow for my birthday. He just accepted a new job in town and it is a big pay raise and promotion for him. They also all have sit/stand desks and ergo furniture at his new workplace so that will be good for his back pain.

I don't feel that well today. I have menstrual cramps and a headache and feel bummed that my mood has headed downward these past couple weeks and that my Seroquel XR dose had to increase.

I am also bummed about my weight gain. I'm generally pretty easy on myself about my weight, but I have exceeded the weight range I am OK with.

[Scooter9]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

I will be seeing my son tomorrow for my birthday. He just accepted a new job in town and it is a big pay raise and promotion for him. They also all have sit/stand desks and ergo furniture at his new workplace so that will be good for his back pain.

Happy birthday tecomsin and congrats to your son!

Happy birthday, tecomsin!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

happy Birthday Tecomsin!

[Victoria'smom]

Happy birthday Tecomsin

[downandlonely]

Happy birthday @tecomsin

[Nammu]

I missed that! Happy Birthday tecomsin.

[GoldenSnitch]

Happy birthday tecomsin!!

[fern46]

Tecomsin, congrats to your son. That's wonderful news. Happy birthday!!! May it be a wonderful one.

[Unrigged64072835]

Happy birthday, tecomsin! Glad to hear about your son's job, too.

The past couple days have been busy. Finally finished sewing a knit top, first time ever. It wasn't that good, but I finished it and didn't throw it in the trash. Hopefully the next project will be either, as I need new shorts for the summer.

Been busy with house stuff as well.

Hope all is going well with you all. Love and hugs to everyone.

Wander--"Chasing Cars" just popped up on my playlist. Hope you're doing better.

I'm home in bed sick. I want the window open because of the weather, but some people seem to think they can have a tailgate party in their parking lot. The music they're playing is horrible! Some the women also occasionally scream/squeal for no good reason. I wish they'd go elsewhere.

I am cook of the household. If I'm too sick to cook, my husband won't. He just said "I'll eat bread and butter." And he likely will. Kind of a Czech thing. But I get nothing. If I do get up and finally cook something for myself he'll appear. I guess I have to make something quick he won't eat, like a peanut butter and preserves sandwich.

[yellow_fleurs]

BirdDancer I think he should at least make you some bread and butter, too! Sorry you are sick, hope you feel better soon.

[Wander]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

I ****ed up today. I hurt my husband's feelings again. I want to ball up and cry. Instead I took an ambien. I have to be careful not to get addicted. At the same time I really don't care. I wish I could put into words what I'm feeling. I need help but I suck. I want my "loud" head back, I don't want to feel bad for not feeling. I want the outgoing me back. I'm going to stop the zyprexa staying only on the lamictal. I need to feel something except just bad for not feeling. Maybe IOP? I may just wait until my son leaves for the summer. I might just go back to my old clinic so I can get abilify shot. So many thoughts I'm drowning

Im so sorry you are suffering. It is like you are in a bind. I hate the numb feeling when it hits me, especially when it doesn’t stop. It’s understandable you want to stop Xyprexa but I would talk to your pdoc first. I hope you find relief soon.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

4 hours of sleep and awake. Again. Ugh. Just took PRN. Hopefully I'll knock back out. Better quit screen time.

Did you get anymore sleep ?

[~Christina]

Happy Birthday Tecomsin !!!!!

[bizi]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Checking in. I’ve had a wonderful day doing errands with my 83 year old mom. She is very frail right now but between the two of us...were getting it done.

We’re going to a Mad Hatter’s luncheon at church tomorrow with the proceeds going to charity. Everybody wears unique hats. I’ve wanted to go for the last three years but it sells out quickly. I have a nice black suit and a while silk shirt with a chic black and white hat. I’m going for a Paris vibe....sunglasses and all. Looking forward to it.

Warm wishes to all for a peaceful weekend.

@Jennifer 1967


HOw was the mad hatters luncheon? Did your mom enjoy it?
bizi

[TheSeaCat]

Happy Birthday Tecomsin!!!! Hope you had a great birthday; also congratulations to your son on the new job.

[yellow_fleurs]

I spent my entire Saturday trying to figure out taxes, I have always done them myself before but realized this year is too tricky with my situation and also I think I messed up last years. I was a resident of one state, temp resident of another, and interned in a third. Went back and looked and I totally didn't do state taxes right. I did them late last year, too, I just was in such a bad place I couldn't even care at that time. Time to hire someone, I think. Car is in the shop, also realized I don't have time to try to fix that myself and if it's electrical that's too complicated for me. I hope these things are not too expensive, they're not in my budget haha.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Sunday. I am seeing my friend which should put me in a good mood I believe.

Happy birthday, tecomsin!!

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Did you get anymore sleep ?

Yes, TG. Well, Thank Xanax anyway, lol.
It happened again last night. Took some melatonin and gabapentin too. I know it was late in the game to do the melatonin, but I figured it wouldn't hurt. I need to get back to those solid nights of actual sleep. Can't seem to figure out the "recipe" of elements (time, dark etc). I think I might see if they will keep me off the late shift so I can keep things more consistent...
Thanks for asking! I forgot to update.

How's your sleep doing these days?

[Wild Coyote]

A warm hello to all!

I truly miss everyone here at PC. I am hoping to be able to come back soon.

The dissociation is letting up a bit, which is a relief.

I have been trying a med named "Mirapex." It takes quite awhile to build it up to the correct dose (which is very individual). Then it usually takes some time after one has found the right dose. Not sure of how one would know what their own correct dose might be. Trial and error.

I am on several psych meds now, along with other meds.

Am acting out my dreams like crazy! It's often funny. However, all of the vehicle keys are hidden at night and my bedroom windows (2nd floor) are blocked so they will not open much. I am told "flying" dreams are frequent, even when we don't recall them and... they'd prefer I did not have the opportunity to act out this one. In my case, this appears to be a side-effect of the Mirapex.
'
I hope to be back soon and more often. Am still struggling.

Much Love to All!

WC

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by bizi

@Jennifer 1967


HOw was the mad hatters luncheon? Did your mom enjoy it?
bizi

It was so much fun! It really cheered mom up to get dressed up and out of the house. Thanks for asking.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A warm hello to all!

I truly miss everyone here at PC. I am hoping to be able to come back soon.

The dissociation is letting up a bit, which is a relief.

I have been trying a med named "Mirapex." It takes quite awhile to build it up to the correct dose (which is very individual). Then it usually takes some time after one has found the right dose. Not sure of how one would know what their own correct dose might be. Trial and error.

I am on several psych meds now, along with other meds.

Am acting out my dreams like crazy! It's often funny. However, all of the vehicle keys are hidden at night and my bedroom windows (2nd floor) are blocked so they will not open much. I am told "flying" dreams are frequent, even when we don't recall them and... they'd prefer I did not have the opportunity to act out this one. In my case, this appears to be a side-effect of the Mirapex.
'
I hope to be back soon and more often. Am still struggling.

Much Love to All!

WC

It’s so good to see your post. I’m glad you are doing somewhat better. You’ve been in my thoughts and prayers daily. I hope you feel better soon.