[tecomsin]

I hope you feel better soon too, WC.

[bizi]

@Wild Coyote
thank you for checking in!!!!!
New meds do take a while to get used to them.
Sounds like you are struggling, am sorry about that.
You are such a sweet and loving person/member here. We all worry about you when you are not posting.
(((((HUGS)))) and love
bizi

[Unrigged64072835]

Hope things get better, WC.

I.need.SLEEP.

Up at 1 AM this time. Still can’t go back to sleep, even for a short nap. Groggy but awake.

Not fun.

[tecomsin]

Well I was supposed to meet my son at the train station between noon and 1pm but he hasn't answered any text or phone call all day and it is almost 2pm here. It is also my birthday so especially worrying and disappointing. I just feel like my life sucks.

[LadyShadow]

Originally Posted by tecomsin

Well I was supposed to meet my son at the train station between noon and 1pm but he hasn't answered any text or phone call all day and it is almost 2pm here. It is also my birthday so especially worrying and disappointing. I just feel like my life sucks.

I am really sorry! Maybe he forgot his phone? I hope he shows up, but in the meantime, enjoy a piece of this with me! (Happy birthday )



As for me, I am having a great day! Just waiting for sister to show up with her husband for a birthday celebration for him. I am starving though, so I am hoping they show up soon.

[downandlonely]

I'm sorry about your son @tecomsin. I hope he just lost his phone or something like that.

[tecomsin]

I was worried because the last time this kind of thing happened my son told me he set the phone to ring when I called. I almost always just text but I called today when I didn't hear from him before 1. Well he had disabled his ringer again so didn't hear my phone call and was just sleeping. So we are meeting soon for a late lunch for sushi. He slept until 2pm and then texted me.

Thank you for the birthday cake LadyShadow. That cheered me up.

[yellow_fleurs]

tecomsin so glad your son is okay! Happy birthday, enjoy sushi!

[Wild Coyote]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TECOMSIN!!!!

I could not get the font, size and other options to cooperate. My apologies.

So glad you are here!
I hope you are having a great day!

Happy Birthday, tecomsin!!

[wildflowerchild25]

Happy birthday tecomsin!!

I’ve been doing well. Had a great birthday. Yesterday I finally got to see my brother and sister in law and niece for the first time since January. I was salty at them for awhile because they cancelled on me the last time I was supposed to hang out with them and amidst my “let’s drop down to five mgs haldol” paranoia I thought he had lied to me about the reason. I still am not sure but I don’t suppose it matters anymore. We had a great time. I left about 8:30 when they started to get messy drunk because things started to spiral so I wanted to get out of there before any fights started.

I had a dream a couple of days ago about being a teacher and going back to school to finish my masters and I’m reLly thinking about it. If I stayed as a teacher assistant I wouldn’t be too stressed out at work to get my schoolwork done. I already have three classes under my belt. The only thing is I would have to contact the state and see if I can get my provisional certification back since I lost it for not finishing the program again. And I would have to do student teaching which would mean I wouldn’t be able to work a normal day job for a semester. I also never withdrew from the one class because I was too depressed to handle anything involving school so there a big fat F on my transcript. I’m not sure if I could get that erased if i got records from the IOP I was in at the time proving I was disabled when I took the class.

So many things to think about. But I desperately want my masters, even if I never teach with it again. I just want it. I want to prove that I can. I’m not entirely sure that I can but I want to give it a shot.

Ah well. I’ll keep thinking about it.

[Wander]

Something is wrong but I’m not sure exactly what yet. I just know. Not exactly depressed, not hypomanic, just very off. This worries me as the symptoms so far indicate I’m heading into bad territory. See my pdoc today but have so much else, like many med refills, to go through I doubt I will have the time or words to discuss. Hopefully it will pass but I’m keeping an eye on it as I’m terrified of mixed states and psychosis. I’m not prepared to be very ill right now.

[bizi]

After dinner tonight of pizza, Had real cravings tonight. Hubby saved me by reminding me that our friend paul who goes AF every lent to prove to himself that he is not an alcoholic, he would not be happy for me. So we did not go to whole foods for the beer that I wanted. Not today....maybe in 2 weeks at easter..
whew
bizi

[bizi]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I woke up for the bathroom and my eyes are so red and swollen I look like I have a mutant pink eye because I cried so much. Thing is that now that I've cried it's going to be a lot easier.. Plus all it takes is his favorite music. He loved this musician so much that I'm named for one of his songs. There's lot ofti so probably an endless stream of possible songs.

Anyway, hope my eyes recover by 3 when I have to go ut in public and don't want to scare people.

@BeyondtheRainbow


Thank you for sharing.
Crying can be quite cathartic. Do you feel better for crying?
How old was your father?

Share more if you are up to it.
bizi

[LadyShadow]

I feel really good after an amazing night last night. A lot of what I feel and what I am going through aren't delusions but real life feelings that I have and I need to recognize. I cried a lot and released it out into the Universe - hoping, PRAYING I don't get hospitalized again.

But I am on the right track, and I feel really good about it!

[GoldenSnitch]

Today is my birthday. So I spent the afternoon and evening with my daughter and family which was nice. One of the better days I’ve had lately.

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Happy birthday Golden Snitch. I'm glad you had a better day.

[wildflowerchild25]

Happy birthday goldensnitch!

[tecomsin]

Happy Birthday GoldenSnitch. Mine today as well. Mine didn't start out that great but turned in to a fine day. My son took me out for Sushi and had some flowers delivered to the house, so it was very nice in the end. I got to learn more about the new job he will be starting soon. He is working on an important project that could change our everyday lives and has a lot to learn and room to grow with his new company.

[Nammu]

Happy Birthday golden

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by bizi

@BeyondtheRainbow


Thank you for sharing.
Crying can be quite cathartic. Do you feel better for crying?
How old was your father?

Share more if you are up to it.
bizi

Thanks Bizi.

That actually is still the only time I've really cried. I'm surprised but feel less on the verge of tears than I had been. I've listened to the music a good bit and let myself remember. Because he was abusive good memories are hard to find and I've been trying to focus on them this week. They make me sad too but better than the hurt, angry memories that are most of what I remember of him. Easter will bring back a lot of memories; he did Easter well. He'd hide eggs 3-4 times if we wanted and he hid them in hard places so that usually at least one turned up in the summer. Definitely the best holiday memories.

My therapist told me that the stages of grief aren't really for the grieving but for those who are dying. And it doesn't feel like going through stages, more floating in and out of different feelings.

I don't know what comes next. Tomorrow is therapist day so I'm sure we'll work on whatever the next step needs to be.

This is one of the most confusing things I have ever gone through.

[bizi]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

.... he did Easter well. He'd hide eggs 3-4 times if we wanted and he hid them in hard places so that usually at least one turned up in the summer. Definitely the best holiday memories.

My therapist told me that the stages of grief aren't really for the grieving but for those who are dying. And it doesn't feel like going through stages, more floating in and out of different feelings.

I don't know what comes next. Tomorrow is therapist day so I'm sure we'll work on whatever the next step needs to be.

This is one of the most confusing things I have ever gone through.

I am glad that you have some good easter memories.....
This is hard work that you are doing.

You are worthy of this effort.
((((HUGS)))))
bizi

[TheSeaCat]

Happy Birthday Golden Snitch!!!!!!!

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

Yes, TG. Well, Thank Xanax anyway, lol.

It happened again last night. Took some melatonin and gabapentin too. I know it was late in the game to do the melatonin, but I figured it wouldn't hurt. I need to get back to those solid nights of actual sleep. Can't seem to figure out the "recipe" of elements (time, dark etc). I think I might see if they will keep me off the late shift so I can keep things more consistent...

Thanks for asking! I forgot to update.


How's your sleep doing these days?

Yay ! Glad you got some more. Yes yes it’s tricky to find the right set of shyt that works consistently. I would imagine not doing late shift would benefit you. I always needed time to relax/unwind/de stress before I can possibly even inch towards sleep. Hope your schedule can be worked out.

Any news on a new job ? Some places take forever to do interviews.

My sleep is pretty good I’m just flipped but hey I can clean at 9 Pm just as I could at 9 am LOL

Here’s to hoping your sleep improves

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

A warm hello to all!


I truly miss everyone here at PC. I am hoping to be able to come back soon.


The dissociation is letting up a bit, which is a relief.


I have been trying a med named "Mirapex." It takes quite awhile to build it up to the correct dose (which is very individual). Then it usually takes some time after one has found the right dose. Not sure of how one would know what their own correct dose might be. Trial and error.


I am on several psych meds now, along with other meds.


Am acting out my dreams like crazy! It's often funny. However, all of the vehicle keys are hidden at night and my bedroom windows (2nd floor) are blocked so they will not open much. I am told "flying" dreams are frequent, even when we don't recall them and... they'd prefer I did not have the opportunity to act out this one. In my case, this appears to be a side-effect of the Mirapex.

'

I hope to be back soon and more often. Am still struggling.


Much Love to All!



WC

So good to see you