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  #1  
Old Oct 10, 2019, 05:30 AM
Anonymous32451
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I have a question:

can you speak up for yourself?

if their is something you don't want to do, or don't like it, will you say?, or will you just go along with it

I'm getting getting better at speaking for myself- I used to go along with things that made me unhappy (and I still do sometimes, it's easier sometimes than saying it) but I am getting better.
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  #2  
Old Oct 10, 2019, 06:16 AM
fern46 fern46 is offline
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I used to have a much harder time with this. I let myself get into all sorts of situations that weren't right for me simply because I was afraid to speak up. I gained a lot of confidence over the years and now I speak my mind freely. I think working in a professional setting where I was often an advocate for my customers helped me learn to do this for myself. I'm kind and I don't step on others to do it, but I seek what's right for me. I also speak up for my children and others who do not yet have a strong voice.

It is great this is getting easier for you. It takes time and effort, but it is well worth the investment. I feel this skill set is especially important when navigating our medical care decisions. It will serve you well.
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  #3  
Old Oct 10, 2019, 06:45 AM
Anonymous35014
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Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't.

I did it at work once and it was because some guy STOLE my work without giving me credit. Even worse, since he didn't know how to use it and I said i genuinely didn't have time to help him, he told my boss that I let him have it and that I didn't explain anything to him about how to use it. Then he wanted me to fix HIS problems, when his problems were centered around the fact he stole something and didn't know how to use it. I flat out said, "I never gave him anything. I also don't even know what he is trying to do because he never told me he took it in the first place. He just told me he had problems trying to use it, and that's when I know he took it. So I couldn't help him even if I wanted to. I'd be glad to help, but I would appreciate it if I was told someone was using my work."
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  #4  
Old Oct 10, 2019, 08:15 AM
Anonymous46341
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I'm glad it's getting easier for you, too, raging vortex!

I'm pretty good about speaking up, but also pretty good about being fair. I do go along with things I don't always want to do, but my husband does that for me, too. I'm the more laissez faire type, though, but know my limits. I used to be less so before medications.

I don't like fighting with people at all. I will say that I usually try to bring peace quicker than others I encounter, but that doesn't mean I never fight for what I want/believe in. I am outspoken, but that doesn't automatically mean bossy.
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  #5  
Old Oct 10, 2019, 08:30 AM
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bpcyclist bpcyclist is offline
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Advocating for others less able to do so for themselves has been a strength since childhood. Unfortunately, doing so for myself is not always such a strength. The worst thing ever to happen to me, being tortured by a group from our local police department over a two=year period, I still have not ever done anything about. I could easily have sued, gone to the USDOJ, told a reporter--could have done lots of things. I have not. The reason is fear. It was and is my calculation that doing any of these things with this group of morally impaired individuals would be like pouring gasoline on a fire. So I have done nothing.
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When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them--Rodney Dangerfield
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  #6  
Old Oct 10, 2019, 11:00 AM
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HALLIEBETH87 HALLIEBETH87 is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2004
Location: usa
Posts: 11,960
I Can bit I’m not very assertive....

T is constantly pushing me to work on assertiveness
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schizoaffective bipolar type
PTSD
generalized anxiety d/o

haldol, prazosin, risperdal and prn klonopin and helpful cogentin
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  #7  
Old Oct 10, 2019, 12:51 PM
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bshaffer836 bshaffer836 is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: lol
Posts: 94
I never really speak up for myself. I just contribute it to me being too lazy, and not some other deep seeded root of a problem.
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  #8  
Old Oct 11, 2019, 07:38 AM
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~Christina ~Christina is offline
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Member Since: Jul 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 22,450
I have no problem speaking up in T. None.. or any Doctors , disability people, anything , I’m direct and firm.

I do with my husband at times, only because I hate confrontation. Due to the trauma of his first marriage , yes he was being very abused. In the past he would become defensive right off the bat. Just a default reaction.

I recently needed to have a serious talk about some stuff. So I spent over a week I think , mentally rehearsing “ if I say this ? Will he say that ? Etc etc etc. I found the right time and began with ... We need to talk and I don’t want to argue or fight ( the last argument we had was 9 years ago ) and I didn’t want him to feel the need to be defensive. The talk went better than expected.

I know a lot of people struggle with being able to speak up. I think it’s one of the top skills to learn in T
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Helping others gets me out of my own head ~
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  #9  
Old Oct 11, 2019, 09:42 AM
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Blue_Bird Blue_Bird is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: Middle Earth
Posts: 38,993
I'm really bad at speaking up for myself, I'm not assertive at all
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“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.” -St. Francis of Assisi


Diagnosis:
Schizoaffective disorder Bipolar type
PTSD
Social Anxiety Disorder
Anorexia Binge/Purge type
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