[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Thanks Jennifer,

At most my husband and I can come up with are 14 days a year in Florida. We do not expect everyone to drop what they are doing and focus on us.

But ....anyone can make time for anything if they want too.

I’m sitting here in tears typing away and backspacing it all away over and over.

It just really hurts knowing that there has been enough talk especially over the last 2-3 years ...... time is limited.

It just really sucks when you know you matter less and less.

I’m so sorry. I agree wholeheartedly with everything you’ve written and I understand more than you know. It does hurt on an entirely different level. You’re not alone there. I don’t know what to say to help you feel better aside from I’m sorry, I care deeply, I send unending hugs and unfailing support to you and to your husband. I hope your T can help you feel better Wednesday.

[giddykitty]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

This elimination diet is awful. I'm so grouchy because I feel like crap which is probably because my blood sugar is very low. The only thing I can eat which increases it is rice. Rice becomes very boring very quickly when it's your main food. I have made it 3 days; 11 days until I can try something "new". I keep daydreaming about what that will be. Anything that is not rice, fish or chicken. So I sleep a lot and pray for patience.

Tonight I nearly I nearly went after my smoke detector. For some reason it goes off whenever there is steam in the kitchen. I think it is because the kitchen is too close to the alarm but my house is tiny and there isn't another place for it. Anyway I was making food to go with me to my therapist tomorrow because I can't buy anything that is on my safe list and if my blood sugar drops, I need something to raise it.

I really hope this test results in answers. This is a lot to go through to not find out what is wrong.

I really shouldn't try to drive (70 minutes) to see my therapist but I really need to talk someone about this and some other things, so off I go with pre-prepared foods.

Ok, I think the fire alarm is done so I'm going to take a shower (and pray that doesn't start the alarm again) and hope to get to sleep fairly soon.

What kind of elimination diet is this? I only ask because I'm on a gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, and a few other minor things. I'm not Celiac or even lactose intolerant though, so I cheat some, but I do eat mostly rice and know the frustration. I pretty much haven't had pasta in like 4 years (except gluten free kind. Not the same) I miss it! Although I don't miss the tummyaches!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

Originally Posted by giddykitty

What kind of elimination diet is this? I only ask because I'm on a gluten free, dairy free, sugar free, and a few other minor things. I'm not Celiac or even lactose intolerant though, so I cheat some, but I do eat mostly rice and know the frustration. I pretty much haven't had pasta in like 4 years (except gluten free kind. Not the same) I miss it! Although I don't miss the tummyaches!

It's testing for possible food allergies. I went to Dominican Republic in June and came back with what they thought was "traveler's diarrhea" but it didn't go away. Now we're seeing if it caused food allergies which can happen rarely from parasites.

I'm allowed water, chicken broth, rice, lean fish, lean pork, chicken breast and turkey. In 2 weeks I add something new every 3 days or so.

I definitely seem to have milk and peanut butter issues. I knew that going into this; those will be the last things I test. I was tested for celiac and it was negative.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that diet. This is really killing me. I miss fruits and vegetables so much. I can't imagine doing this long-term.

The good thing is that by the end of this I should be detoxed from sugar and hopefully will continue weight loss since this diet usually causes about 15 lbs of weight loss. I'd be happy to lose the weight I gained the last 6 months when carbs were my safe foods or I felt I deserved to eat whatever because it was just going to make me sick.'

I think tomorrow i may get some jasmine rice to have some variety. That's sad.....

[bizi]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

We always book our trips 1.5-2 months in advance.. as soon as we make them we let the kids know ASAP.

I have cried daily since the day we got there.... The 22nd and including today and I’m sure I’ll do the same tomorrow.

I’m grateful I see my T Wednesday. I just can not stop feeling so unwanted.

I am glad that you are seeing your T also.
Just a small fact...you are wanted here...and are loved by many.
Hate to hear you are suffering.
bizi

[Wander]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

My husband and I are both really hurt emotionally. Heartbroken actually is more fitting.

Each one of our kids blew us off at one day or another while we were there.. we only got to see the granddaughter 3 times.

My husband and I both go without a lot to make these trips , yes that’s what parents do... but

This trip was horrific in just trying to get there and home with out dying in a wreck. I still don’t know how we made it.

Him and I both physically are suffering pain and more breathing difficulties caused by this trip.

I just feel empty... but yet full of emotional pain.

It is awful they have treated you this way. It must be heartbreaking. You are such a wonderful person I cannot imagine why they would do this.

[Wander]

This year has started with great frustration. To begin with a general state of anxiety has returned. Some days have been bad. My hip just won't get better so I haven't been able to get to the beach. Hopefully another week of short walks and exercises will give me the strength to walk on the sand so I can swim. My budget is so bad I can't afford the pool, and I would need to buy new bathers. On top of this my body and mind are wiped with exhaustion. A Fibromyalgia flare up. Probably from all the stress of my recent hospitalisation.

With all this I haven't been able to do much. I sleep a lot, although sometimes have insomnia. I read when I can. Play guitar. Organise my flat. Meditate, and generally try to keep a positive attitude to push away the negative thoughts. And I weep for my country as much of it burns as bushfires rage, although not in my city. We have bushfires each summer, big ones, but this is unbelievable. I try to keep away from the news now. I am too emotionally fragile at the moment. In fact so many things make me tear up right now. It is so confusing now what happened to get me out of hospital on the 27th December. I thought I had made significant progress, but it seems I am still a mess. Not needing hospital, just not my calm, happy self.

[Wild Coyote]

Feeling wiped out. Extremely tired. Repeatedly let down.

As I continue to look into the violations which have occurred within the SSDI determinations process, I have found more and more violations of laws, regulations, HIPPA and likely more. More and more people are involved in violating my most basic rights, including some who are supposed to be in my camp.

I have an abundance of documentation on file, alleging/showing violations by several involved as SSA employees.

Now, what to do with members of my own team, who have grossly violated my rights, HIPPA, etc.?
I have confronted one, only to find out she has no insight into what she has done, nor into the resulting fiasco her cavalier/ignorant attitudes have caused.

Where does it end?

I suppose this is the chance we take when willing to look deeply into the nature of the challenges around us?

I have to give a great deal of consideration on which actions to take and when.

Love to All!

[bpcyclist]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Feeling wiped out. Extremely tired. Repeatedly let down.

As I continue to look into the violations which have occurred within the SSDI determinations process, I have found more and more violations of laws, regulations, HIPPA and likely more. More and more people are involved in violating my most basic rights, including some who are supposed to be in my camp.

I have an abundance of documentation on file, alleging/showing violations by several involved as SSA employees.

Now, what to do with members of my own team, who have grossly violated my rights, HIPPA, etc.?
I have confronted one, only to find out she has no insight into what she has done, nor into the resulting fiasco her cavalier/ignorant attitudes have caused.

Where does it end?

I suppose this is the chance we take when willing to look deeply into the nature of the challenges around us?

I have to give a great deal of consideration on which actions to take and when.

Love to All!

People just do not take HIPAA seriously enough. It's serious business. Totally behind you on this. You go, WC!

[Blue_Bird]

Good morning, enjoying a cup of coffee with one of my cats in my lap.

I've been learning to play the ukulele since I got one for Christmas and it's so much fun! I can definitely see it being a lifelong hobby.

Have appointments with my psychiatrist, therapist, and care manager this week. Gotta finish some paperwork for the new apartment place, my care manager is going to help me with that.

My mood is good. It's snowing today which I'm glad because I love snow.

Anyway, overall things are going well, I'll update next week if I have any info regarding the apartment, hope everyone is doing well

Back to work... Having a hard time remembering what I was doing last since it's been so long. lol.

I hope that the rest of today works out okay and that I can push through this week. Ughhhh.

Mood is fine and I am managing to keep my place clean, albeit a little mess in my kitchen... but that's no big deal because I can clean it up today when I get back from work.

Since I have been on a break for a while, I've been watching a lot of movies lately. In fact, I wish I were home right now so that I could watch a movie while doing work. I can sorta multitask, but the kinda work I'm doing is one of those things where you run software on the computer and wait some time for it to finish. Thus, I could technically watch a movie while my computer is doing its thing.

Same as usual, but no work for two days! (normal days off). I'm really happy about that. I am exhausted though, working 3rd shift is hard on me.

[childofchaos831]

I see my T today for the first time in 3 weeks! She's been out for the holidays...

I enjoyed our time with our guest/friend last night. She is always fun and pleasant to talk to. I also like that our house is still left quite clean and neat because of the preparations for her visit.

My husband doesn't know yet, but I signed up for a once per week evening French class, starting at the beginning of February. I chose a lower level than might be ideal for me, but the only other option was a level that might be intimidating. Of course the Fall session of the level right in between would be best, but I don't want to wait that long to start. It's very important that I review some basic stuff so that I better progress towards fluency. It's the case that I can speak more advanced sentences, and yet screw up the conjugation and spelling of very basic words. I attended private studies, briefly, a while back, but quit. I think I prefer group study since I need not be "on" every second of the class. Hubby thinks private is best, but he's not paying for it this time. I'm using some Christmas gift money towards this upcoming class. He'll likely think that I'll drop out after two or three weeks, but I'm going to try hard not to! Try, try, and try again.

I called my father this morning. He couldn't hear me well on his cell phone, so we ended the call quickly. Ideally, I'd be volunteering to visit him, but I'm just not up to it. I do feel like a bad daughter, but it's complicated.

[Miss Laura]

Back to normal now that the festivities are over with. Started back at my volunteering this morning. Spent 2 hours clearing away decorations etc from the centre and playing pool. Went food shopping. Went home and put a load of washing on. Intentions to tackle my flat as it's a tip I haven't been at my flat in 16 days been staying between my Sister's and my Parents houses. Feels weird being home tbh. Never tackled anything definitely need to take my decorations down when I go home in a few hours as it's bad luck after tomorrow. Been trying to book a lodge somewhere bear me in Scotland that has disabled access for my Mum. Hoping to go away for my Birthday early Feb would be nice. Thought of Oban which is on the West Coast of Scotland but they have no accessible lodges for my Mum. So looking elsewhere. Then my Dad is like not I'm not wanting to drive far we live on the East Coast he was prepared to drive 4 or more hours to get to Oban lol. Numpty. So I've given up he said no to every lodge or cottage I found. Oh well try again later.

Been feeling great recently. Like proper great. If only I could sleep oh well can't have everything huh!

[Sunflower123]

Mom’s dog kept howling and barking outside my door until about 4:00 am when I screamed bloody murder and threatened bodily injury. I also put his dog bed up so he’d go to another bed and carry on. That dog needs some Xanax when mom is gone. I’m not a fan.

Decided not to travel today although it’s a beautiful day outside. Instead, I talked to M for about 50 minutes via phone. I plan on seeing her in a couple of weeks and we’re making plans to go to Biltmore on her spring break.

I need to start walking immediately if I’m going to Biltmore. My back has been hurting if I stand or walk too long. My word for the year is superfit. Time to get with it. I do not currently meet that definition.

I love my aunts and don’t understand why they triggered me. Guess it doesn’t matter. Knowledge is power (thanks bpcyclist). They are leaving today so I’ll be in peace again.

Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

[Moose72]

@~Christina I'm sorry you are feeling unappreciated. Children can be selfish.

N3 is at the hospital again. He road the bus early this morning. He wants me to tell his piano teacher that he's at the children's hospital.. I think that's his job. He couldve had me pick him up. Now, he's going to be late even if I go get him. *sigh*

[Moose72]

N3 rescheduled his lesson. Psych came to see his gf today. They discussed various courses of action and she was almost put IP but they settled on 7-10 days of IOP.

@ Christina Oh man, I'm so sorry. People can be so oblivious to how their actions affect others. Too much self-focus. I'm especially sorry that this is happening to someone as wonderful as you.

@WC You have been an AMAZING trooper through all of this .. I'd call it "nonsense", but that doesn't convey just how very wrong all of this is...
Sending thoughts for continuing strength.

@Miss Laura Good to see you, and so glad you're doing so well!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

@ Christina Oh man, I'm so sorry. People can be so oblivious to how their actions affect others. Too much self-focus. I'm especially sorry that this is happening to someone as wonderful as you.

@WC You have been an AMAZING trooper through all of this .. I'd call it "nonsense", but that doesn't convey just how very wrong all of this is...
Sending thoughts for continuing strength.

@Miss Laura Good to see you, and so glad you're doing so well!

Thank you! It has been a tough road. I am feeling very tired, I cannot quit now, I have enough documentation together to to nail anyone involved in the whole fiasco.. maybe there are a few more? It's a tough position to be in, knowing some of my own heath care providers have also disregarded my rights,

I appreciate you ongoing support!

[Moose72]

N3s gf got discharged about 20 minutes ago. She wants him to visit tonight but I reminded him that he works at 6 a.m. I have a 7:30 eye appointment speaking of irony.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Feeling wiped out. Extremely tired. Repeatedly let down.


As I continue to look into the violations which have occurred within the SSDI determinations process, I have found more and more violations of laws, regulations, HIPPA and likely more. More and more people are involved in violating my most basic rights, including some who are supposed to be in my camp.


I have an abundance of documentation on file, alleging/showing violations by several involved as SSA employees.


Now, what to do with members of my own team, who have grossly violated my rights, HIPPA, etc.?

I have confronted one, only to find out she has no insight into what she has done, nor into the resulting fiasco her cavalier/ignorant attitudes have caused.


Where does it end?


I suppose this is the chance we take when willing to look deeply into the nature of the challenges around us?


I have to give a great deal of consideration on which actions to take and when.


Love to All!

You know how I feel about all this.

Fight Fight Fight Yes?? But reality is you have to have the energy to jump through hoops and bytch slap some people along the way.

Unfortunately it’s not like you can go slow and steady, it’s likely all have deadlines, I’m sure some can be extended with a bit of energy but others will certainly push you to your limits I hate hate hate that you are in such a hellish situation.

Try to make a Master List , I know you have so many.

Reach out to any support you have professional ,family and friends.

Contact all your local representatives and state wide..

During all of this remember to breathe, take care of yourself physically and mentally.

Breathe my dear friend

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Blue_Bird

Good morning, enjoying a cup of coffee with one of my cats in my lap.


I've been learning to play the ukulele since I got one for Christmas and it's so much fun! I can definitely see it being a lifelong hobby.


Have appointments with my psychiatrist, therapist, and care manager this week. Gotta finish some paperwork for the new apartment place, my care manager is going to help me with that.


My mood is good. It's snowing today which I'm glad because I love snow.


Anyway, overall things are going well, I'll update next week if I have any info regarding the apartment, hope everyone is doing well

I’m so glad you are having such good times, you deserve them always

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

I enjoyed our time with our guest/friend last night. She is always fun and pleasant to talk to. I also like that our house is still left quite clean and neat because of the preparations for her visit.


My husband doesn't know yet, but I signed up for a once per week evening French class, starting at the beginning of February. I chose a lower level than might be ideal for me, but the only other option was a level that might be intimidating. Of course the Fall session of the level right in between would be best, but I don't want to wait that long to start. It's very important that I review some basic stuff so that I better progress towards fluency. It's the case that I can speak more advanced sentences, and yet screw up the conjugation and spelling of very basic words. I attended private studies, briefly, a while back, but quit. I think I prefer group study since I need not be "on" every second of the class. Hubby thinks private is best, but he's not paying for it this time. I'm using some Christmas gift money towards this upcoming class. He'll likely think that I'll drop out after two or three weeks, but I'm going to try hard not to! Try, try, and try again.


I called my father this morning. He couldn't hear me well on his cell phone, so we ended the call quickly. Ideally, I'd be volunteering to visit him, but I'm just not up to it. I do feel like a bad daughter, but it's complicated.

I’m glad you had a good meal with a lovely guest.

I really think your group French lessons will work well for you. One on one would simply overwhelm me..

I’ll be cheering you on

Don’t feel like a Bad daughter ..your relationship with your father is complicated, do what you can when you can

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

Mom’s dog kept howling and barking outside my door until about 4:00 am when I screamed bloody murder and threatened bodily injury. I also put his dog bed up so he’d go to another bed and carry on. That dog needs some Xanax when mom is gone. I’m not a fan.


Decided not to travel today although it’s a beautiful day outside. Instead, I talked to M for about 50 minutes via phone. I plan on seeing her in a couple of weeks and we’re making plans to go to Biltmore on her spring break.


I need to start walking immediately if I’m going to Biltmore. My back has been hurting if I stand or walk too long. My word for the year is superfit. Time to get with it. I do not currently meet that definition.


I love my aunts and don’t understand why they triggered me. Guess it doesn’t matter. Knowledge is power (thanks bpcyclist). They are leaving today so I’ll be in peace again.


Warm regards to all and hugs to those that are struggling.

I’m sorry you had to deal with her dog acting like that. It would drive me nuts too

What a great call with M , I’m glad you have plans to meet soon.. is your back hurting from that fall you had ??

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Moose72

@~Christina I'm sorry you are feeling unappreciated. Children can be selfish.


N3 is at the hospital again. He road the bus early this morning. He wants me to tell his piano teacher that he's at the children's hospital.. I think that's his job. He couldve had me pick him up. Now, he's going to be late even if I go get him. *sigh*

Thanks , kids can really cause unbelievable pain unfortunately.

Is his girlfriend doing any better ???