My Christmas has been very boring, and I can't concentrate on anything right now because my Ritalin has worn off and because I am also very frustrated, so here I am, typing this message.

I want to concentrate so badly so that I can read, but even audiobooks aren't helping. I feel incredibly stupid right now. I feel brain dead.

I did get some nice presents, but they're mostly clothes, so I can't really use them right now. Thus, I have to find something to do with what I brought with me to my parents' house, yet I am not sure what to do because everything I try is just a major fail, which only adds to my frustration level. It's a vicious cycle.

I won't sit here and be a Debby Downer for anyone, but I am not sleeping well and I don't feel great today. It was nice having my sister and my mom with me though. I work in about two hours.

Marcus

I've been chowing down today. Tomorrow it has to stop!

My siblings, hubby, and I went to see my dad and joined him for lunch at the assisted living. That leaves hubby and I alone for dinner. I told him that I don't feel up to cooking anything, so the logical plan is to go to a Chinese restaurant, since many are open on Christmas day. Our immediate area has lousy Chinese restaurants. We found a very highly rated one just 20 minutes away in a direction we rarely travel. I hope it's good. They apparently offer authentic Szechuan and Taiwanese dishes. I lived in Taiwan for a bit, so am kind of excited about the Taiwanese offerings, though I don't mind a bit of Szechuan spice, either. The only negative to going out is that hubby is allergic to garlic. It's always a bit of a pain in the arse. Many Szechuan dishes contain garlic, but Chinese cooks are pretty good about eliminating it, when possible. I don't recall Taiwanese food being overly garlic-centered.

[Nammu]

Survived Christmas. Was very nice acually. Had a nice meal then was picture time for mum. Had to get the five generations pictures with both sides of the family. A three yr old got hunting rifles from his grandpa, and dad gave him very stern lecture about not pointing at people, he did very good. Went hunting deer in the corners. Then played a fun game with dollar gifts and a die. Pass gifts to the right, left across the table depending on the number. Then after opening them lots of trading goes on. I ended up with a sewing kit. It's fun seeing the variety of items you can find for a buck. It's good fun.

I did a "Christmas Workout"!!! Our pretty gym was deserted. I had it ALL to myself! I just do a gentle workout. I can't wait until i am stronger and can do more. I didn't mean to alarm anyone when i said i wouldn't go out anymore. I just meant i won't leave the property. I'm still out to our dogpark every day and i hope to be down to our gym more frequently. So i'm still active, just not venturing very far.

There were a couple signs today that my fear psychosis of September 30th has finally healed. I had made changes to my Facebook persona. I was feeling so scared i put some harsh aggressive images for my avatar and cover photo designed to make myself look fierce and vicious. Today i changed them back to pretty delicate images designed to make myself look gentle and feminine. I also removed the can of pepper spray from my key-chain as it is just a bother and i feel safe now and that it's not necessary. So these are two changes for the better and the last final signs that that whole frightening episode is put to rest.

It wasn't the greatest day with my dinner of Christmas Cheesies but i didn't have high expectations for this day so i'm not upset. Hugs to all!

[bpforever1]

I had a pleasant Christmas Day. I relaxed and spent time with my family. I feel fine.

[~Christina]

It’s been a long day. Lots of good times and some bad.

My daughter and I went out and got Thai food , was delicious.

Honestly im ready to go home , but we check out of hotel Sunday.

We head North and we are stopping to see my brother..Then plan to see our friends. I’m not sure we will stay with them or just stop to visit and head home.

My husband and I are both a bit down. Our kids are so immersed in there lives that even when they know we are coming it’s like we just don’t matter much at all. Yes they all have busy lives, but still.. I guess we can only accept it.

I’m currently waiting for Steve to get back so I can fall asleep. We have no reason to be up early tomorrow thankfully I just need to lay still , pain is unbearable.

The Szechuan food at the restaurant we went to was amazing! What a great find. They also had a few Taiwanese options, which were nice. The only negative about that restaurant is that it is primarily only Szechuan style food. It would be great if there was yet another good Chinese restaurant that offered authentic options from other regions, like Guangzhou (Canton) or Beijing areas.

Hubby is nearing the end of the project he's worked on for a couple years. He wants me to do a scan of the book to be sure there are not problems he's overlooked. I feel a bit unmotivated to do it, but I'd better do it!

We were disappointed that the plumber stood us up on Christmas Eve morning. I've got to tactfully contact him again. It's too difficult to find an inexpensive good plumber to be scolding them.

[wildflowerchild25]

I had a good Christmas. We are completely overrun with toys lol. I don’t know where the hell im going to put all this ****. My uncle showed up three hours late for Christmas dinner as usual. What a tool.

I ate sooo much yesterday. Good food though. I gotta reel it in.

I found menthol juul cartridges so I’m back to vaping. Thank god, quitting was just too hard and I hate cigarettes. Obviously I’m going to have to quit in the future but not right now. Takes some of the pressure off.

Today I have a headache. So I’m just chilling in bed.

[Nammu]

HELP! Ugh oh! Hellmart didn't have my brand of hair dye. Found out the brand I choose intense auburn means "red" ! Plus it's frizzy. My dye always left my hair deeply conditioned, this sucks. Can anyone recommend a de frizzy product that doesn't cost an arm and a leg but works? The wedding is Saturday! ,!! Tomorrow we go check into the hotel and then go to the rehearsal then the dinner at a casino in the next state! Then drive back to the hotel. Then the next day is the wedding! Ahhh, what am I to do?

[fern46]

Originally Posted by Nammu

HELP! Ugh oh! Hellmart didn't have my brand of hair dye. Found out the brand I choose intense auburn means "red" ! Plus it's frizzy. My dye always left my hair deeply conditioned, this sucks. Can anyone recommend a de frizzy product that doesn't cost an arm and a leg but works? The wedding is Saturday! ,!! Tomorrow we go check into the hotel and then go to the rehearsal then the dinner at a casino in the next state! Then drive back to the hotel. Then the next day is the wedding! Ahhh, what am I to do?

Oh no! How do you typically style your hair?

My hair is curly and has a tendency to be dry and frizzy. I live in a very humid climate as well. I use cocnut oil when I straighten it. I put a tiny amount in my hand and warm it up and rub it on my hands. I then start with the ends of my hair and then work it in all over. After that, I blow dry my hair and then straighten it further with a flat iron. It stays perfectly straight, frizz free and shiny until I wash it again.

Coconut oil is the cheapest, most natural and most effective product I've ever used.

[Nammu]

Typically I just let it hang down from a side part but for the wedding I'm wearing a gold Barrett in back. I don't own a hair dryer or flat iron. I'm an old hippie but for the wedding I'm trying to look my age and like a mother of the bride. My outfit is very traditional mother of the bride.

Originally Posted by Nammu

HELP! Ugh oh! Hellmart didn't have my brand of hair dye. Found out the brand I choose intense auburn means "red" ! Plus it's frizzy. My dye always left my hair deeply conditioned, this sucks. Can anyone recommend a de frizzy product that doesn't cost an arm and a leg but works? The wedding is Saturday! ,!! Tomorrow we go check into the hotel and then go to the rehearsal then the dinner at a casino in the next state! Then drive back to the hotel. Then the next day is the wedding! Ahhh, what am I to do?

Some people use hairspray to fix frizz.

Personally, I deal with it via shampoo. (I have wavy, curlyish hair.) I like Tres Semme anti-frizz, or however you spell it. Stuff like Garnier Fructis and others don't help.

Try this:
https://www.walmart.com/ip/TRESemm-M...39-oz/35042662

Usually frizz partially comes from dry hair, so adding moisture to it reduces the frizz and breakage (in my experience). The idea is to treat the problem at the source. Though, coconut oil will help. There are also other types of oils in CVS and Walgreens that help with frizz. For example: Access Denied

I'm fairly certain that any kind of oil will do. It'll weigh down your hair a bit and will probably suit your needs. But I would recommend the shampoo for the long run.

[Nammu]

OH, that was helpful

Well whew my daughter doesn't mind at all. I've always been auburn but she thinks it's cool mom matches her and granddaughter now!

[Aurelius710]

I was so freaked out about being punished for my mistakes at work, but when I came back today, nobody said anything. I still have anxiety around work, but the lack of punishment helped out a lot!

Christmas was uneventful. My mom came to visit and brought some Christmas dinner. Apart from that, I just watched TV.

[Fuzzybear]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

[~Christina]

Florida trips= nonsense

[bpcyclist]

Well, slept for a few hours earlier today w/the new weighted blankie. Just tried to go to bed for the night, but having pretty bad akathsiea and PLMD/Restless Legs stuff, so no-go.

Had a good bit of dysphoria today and just felt off. Wrong. Not sure about that. Not as much voices stuff as yesterday, so that's good. But these atypicals just have a lot of side effects for me. I wonder if I should just try Clozaril and see. Might talk to pdoc about that.

Hope everyone got through Christmas okay.

[Wander]

Well, here I am. Home. Discharged from hospital after 25 days. I am peaceful, and filled with hope. Still, that weird feeling I always have after a gruelling hospitalisation lingers. I've been through an emotional blender. Now is time to rest. I have unpacked, and filled my fridge, but forgot a few things so must shop tomorrow unfortunately. Even though it is only 2 pm I don't think I will make it off my couch anytime soon. I am utterly exhausted and sore. Fibromyalgia flare. Think it's time for a nap.

[Victoria'smom]

Christmas was nice but short this year. H is worried about me. My T wants me to switch to their pdoc. My pdoc & H's T wants me to switch to their T. IDK. I'm going to see if my notes can get faxed to my pdoc once in a while. Maybe try that for now.

[Victoria'smom]

It’s 3:30am and I’m not tired. It’s okay I slept 11 hrs last night. I’m still worried that anything I say will incriminate me and I’ll be arrested but H says it’s untrue. I’m calmer about it at least. He wants to talk to my T but I haven’t talked to T about how’d she handle that so IDK. I’m supposed to call next week and see if there’s an appointment. We got into an argument tonight about me not being assertive enough with my treatment team. That they don’t know what to do when I smile and laugh (because I’m nervous) while saying horrible things. One pdoc said my affect is often wrong.

[Wild Coyote]

A Warm Hello to All,

I haven't written for a couple of days. I am still recovering from the Christmas "gathering" I'd ended up organizing and making happen. I'd spent a couple of days prepping.

I'd decided a "buffet" was going to be the easiest approach for all. I'd also learned that some were staggering their arrival times. So I'd turned it into an "open house" with a "buffet." The Open House" hours were announced by my mother: 1pm-9pm. Sorry, I have to laugh here --

We'd had a total of just 24 people.
The last guest had left at 8 p.m. Some of these gatherings truly do not end until 10 or 11p.m. it seems people had yet another place to make an appearance. I was very relieved.

In a nutshell: I was in severe pain. It was the worst I've had in years. I'd kept pushing through set-up of the buffet, by groaning and screaming like I was in labor, and with swearing like a sailor! it was just fine to get through the pain in this I was alone while setting up.

I'd completely finished with every detail just 10 minutes before 1pm.
Our first 10 guests had told us they would arrive at 1pm sharp!

I was out of my mind in pain!
What to do? I had no choice: I told my mother everything was all set, just greet the guests, take their coats, introduce them to one another if they have not met. Encourage them to eat if they were ready to do so.

I'd crawled up the stairs to my room. I had not had enough pain medication to help enough with the severity of pain, so I took more, as prescribed and rested on my bed.

I could hear the doorbell, repeatedly. All I could do was to hope all was going well. An hour later, I was texted and was told my brother was leaving soon and had wanted to see me. Okay! I'll see if I can make it down the stairs?

Ooops! First, I need to get dressed. I was planning on changing outfits after having set up the buffet. Oh no! I was in so much pain, just excruciating, I could not get dressed! It took me 30 minutes to get dressed. I'd gingerly descended the stairs only to see my brother walking down the front walk toward his vehicle. I'd spoken to him, but he was angry about something and would not come back to chat for a minute.

Oh! Other guests saw me! I was still in agony and I'd needed more time to have the pain quiet down more. It was too late though! My mother came scurrying toward me, all worked up about not knowing what to do about certain food items becoming depleted. Ok, ok! I took care of it myself.

I crawled back up the stairs and contemplated going to the ER. The pain was that severe. The ER usually puts me on a morphine drip when I show up in that condition. What about the "party" going on downstairs?

In another 1.5 hours, I could again drag myself downstairs and attend to the buffet. Things went on like this until 6p.m., when I'd had some mild relief from pain and could go downstairs to say hello to the lingering guests, then mostly family and a few close family friends. I was still in so much pain, I was sweating bullets.

I was again refreshing the buffet, most guests interested in desserts at that time. So had gotten out several more desserts.

Every step, every move was excruciating. I had not yet given up on the idea of eventually getting to the ER.

My sisters had sat there, commenting that they'd heard I was in a lot of pain...and had verified that I did, indeed, look the part.

Yet, no help. None. No response when I'd specifically requested my sisters give me a hand. Crazymaking.

Somehow, I'd made it through the next two hours, taking it minute by minute.

When I gave the last guest his coat as he'd approached the foyer, I was thinking, "Oh, I am soooo grateful ! I am now free!"

He'd left and I turned around, walking back into the kitchen and the dining room, etc. I have to clean this ALL up! Nobody had offered to help. My elderly mother was totally exhausted and just could not function.

I'd finished the clean up by doing a great deal until midnight on Christmas night and starting cleaning up again from 8am-12noon on the 26th.

Now I know why hostesses like a call on the day following a function at their home, with a guest expressing gratitude:: the hostess is still cleaning up, while sputtering under her breath!

It's now 48 hours since the beginning of Christmas morning. I am in better control of pain, although it's still tenuous. I am getting my bearings back.

Once again, I am sputtering: "Never Again!"

Wild Coyote, I hope you don't have to do so much again. Can you talk to your mom and siblings about this? Or ask your siblings to bring some food next year? Do you ever get invited to any equivalent shindig at their houses?

I'm sorry you experienced so much pain. I'm glad to read that the pain is lessening slightly.

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Florida trips= nonsense

sorry, I haven't been caught up with this thread...

When do you go back? Is it almost over? I hope everything goes by quickly, if it hasn't already.

I don't like trips in general, but I'm just an anxious person. lol.

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

Christmas was nice but short this year. H is worried about me. My T wants me to switch to their pdoc. My pdoc & H's T wants me to switch to their T. IDK. I'm going to see if my notes can get faxed to my pdoc once in a while. Maybe try that for now.

Do you actually want to switch therapists and pdocs? IMO, you should do what you're most comfortable with, since this is your mental health. In fact, it's perfectly okay to be "selfish" about it and say you don't want to do it. (I always encourage people to be "selfish" every once in a while because you need to take care of you.) But again, just my opinion.