[~Christina]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Oh, the stories!


So tell me, anything in common with them anymore?


Hopefully you can "get outta Dodge" soon!

LOL !

I just wrote out a long response but it all boils down to .... I think they mean well but it comes across as judgmental to me at times. Probably part of my childhood trauma blah blah blah

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by yellow_fleurs

I had my most mentally healthy trip home in a awhile. I've always been stressed and off balance mentally in recent trips and it's made it quite a struggle. Well, my brain was just better clicked in place this time. Not sure how else to describe it, but that really is the feeling I get, like things are back in gear. Saw family and friends and felt less paranoid towards my SO this time. Oh, and we were watching a family member's dog and he's so cute it just put me in a good mood. The trip back was stressful, but that's traveling for you. Hit some bad turbulence, and I did get anxious and my palms got all sweaty, but I managed to keep from total panic, so that's a positive. Definite improvement in the flight anxiety even if it's not gone. I am ready to see my psychiatrist and discuss what's going on. I just want some answers, but need to brace myself for the likely lack of answers I'll get just based on my record of seeing doctors for symptoms. I am spending NYE alone, but that's okay, I'll use the time to relax. Hope everyone is doing well, I know I haven't checked in in awhile. Sending compassion!

So happy it was a good trip for you

[~Christina]

Well my husband has had a headache all day that has turned into a full migraine, he’s only had 2-3 in his lifetime.... he’s miserable I loaded him up on meds and added a Xanax, I know it’s helped him at least some but he’s still in a lot of pain.

So we skipped dinner and have just stayed here in the camper.

So I can waste all the “ time” I want on my phone LOL

I’m hoping he feels better tomorrow.

Hugs to all ~

[Nammu]

Wasting time, I'm good at that. Was just wondering about Google looking for a snip it of a poem that's stuck in my head about time passing. It's an old one and what I found wasn't large enough to read. Couldn't get it to be large enough and still readable. That and Googleing dr who trivia.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Nammu

You'd think that being back home in my own bed I'd sleep great. You'd be wrong. Had a horrible toss and turning night. Sir joined me to ask me what I was laying around for. Then I fell asleep and dreamed I had a largish small dog, a mixed breed with pale Sandy gold curly hair. I parked in a crowded lot at a mall and carried her on her back with a blanket tied on like a cape all the way to the other end of the busy mall. But when I got to the vet place the sign said closed at 6pm. It was just after 6. So I stood there in the waiting room talking to some guy who was just using it for a place to read the paper. Then another person came in with a large dog and a tech came to let them in and said I could come too. We walked a long long ways past lots of animals and owners, mostly dogs and lizards. Finally we met the vet and she gave us a mor shot and asked what I do for a living that I couldn't get there before 6. But before I could answer she was talking to another owner. I started to walk back to pay but woke up and Sir was sitting by my head with his paw on my shoulder! I'm sure he influenced my dream!

Wow! your dreams are quite detailed and the tire me out! Sounds like you have interesting experiences while sleeping!

[BeyondtheRainbow]

I'm just popping in to say that I am still reading and responding as I can. I haven't been posting because the things I want to say I can't because they aren't my place to post on the internet. Maybe we'll get there eventually. But I care about all of you and I pray for you as I see needs.

I will try to respond to more posts outside the check-in but I just don't find myself knowing what to say right now.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BeyondtheRainbow

I'm just popping in to say that I am still reading and responding as I can. I haven't been posting because the things I want to say I can't because they aren't my place to post on the internet. Maybe we'll get there eventually. But I care about all of you and I pray for you as I see needs.

I will try to respond to more posts outside the check-in but I just don't find myself knowing what to say right now.

I'm always looking forward to your return.
Otherwise, you are in my thoughts and in my prayers.

[bpcyclist]

Be well, Beyond.

[bpcyclist]

Well, just kind of riding this thing out until I can make it to Friday and my pdoc appt. Extremely sore in my legs. Can barely get out of my usual chair. Been doing these hill repeats on bike. Quite steep for me, but glad I am hopefully getting more fit.

Watched a fascinating 5-part series on HBO about Chernobyl. Not uplifting, but very interesting. I was traveling in Europe when it happened and people were quite understandably absolutely freaking their sh**. Brought back a lot of memories of four months traveling the continent. I loved it all, but I do think for me the most magical place of all outside some of the cities--was Corfu in Greece. Just incredible. Wish I could go back.

Hugs to all who need and wish them. Hope everyone has a great day.

[Wild Coyote]

Still sparring with the SSA re: my SSDI claim, which is over 30 yrs old and has been paid for that time. Upon a review, the whole claim became "undone."

They've argued : The don't know who I am. I've never had a claim. They have records showing I have been working. And more.
How do you know I 've been working if you don't know who I am?
I can show you that you've been paying me, via Direct Deposit. ETC.

A caseworker assigned to me REFUSES to inform me of my rights, including my right to appeal, how to appeal, etc.
I'd reported the caseworker, forwarding her letters to me then to the area manager, who oversees operations under her local jurisdiction. All of this was done by certjfied mail, etc.

Now I am paying a price! Surprise! The SSA has collected all kinds of medical records this year. It is my right to request my SSDI record, meaning all info gathered and used to make an SSDI determination. I've also requested they advise me of my rights. I'd sent this request in to the SSA's regional manager by certified mail. The response (from the area manager , after I had made a formal complaint against a caseworker under her jurisdiction) was to send me my own letters! Her note to me: You've requested your records. here they are. These are your documents. If you want someone else to see them, show them. (huh?) I have asked, 3 times in writing, for them to advise me of my rights, too. Are they going to do so or not? The whole process for reporting rights violations within the SSA is like: The fox guarding the hen house.

I've made my requests in writing, via certified mail.
Still, they refuse to give me any info I need and to which I am entitled.

I have their ridiculous letters , repeatedly written to me. The letters CLEARLY show they are violating my rights. I also believe this group of SSA agents are discriminating against me, treating me this way due to my having psych diagnoses (along with medical diagnoses). Their letters blatantly disregard my requests and my rights. They have tried, in writing, to intimidate me into my not insisting upon my rights within this process. I know this all seems unbelievable! It is absolutely true; in fact, my knowledge/viewpoint is understated here.

The Disability Determination Services Unit here had contacted my pdoc, telling her they had to have her session notes immediately. She wanted to help me, so she forwarded the notes. THIS DEMAND IS AGAINST SSA/SSDI REGUALTIONS. SSA/SSDI information releases states all
records are to be released, EXCEPT session/visit notes with a pdoc. yet, another infraction.

The entire process, the two agencies involved, have been violating my rights since day one of this mess.

I have located the SSA/SSDI Manual online. The steps, as outlined within their own regulations, have been totally ignored by this local SSA office. All documents are enroute in a formal complaint to the Civil Rights Division of the SSA. This is the process which must be taken within the SSA ...AND anyone is free to also report to any/all other interested Civil Rights agencies.

I am leaving out some (additionally) very alarming infractions which have been made by these two agencies. I have documented these infractions and am submitting the very clear evidence to investigative agencies.

I've established an ongoing "paper trail" of letters received and written, along with documentation of their receipt of my written statements and requests, etc, I also have a detailed file of notes made contemporaneously when having any contact with SSA. agents/employees.

I am determined to win my case.
I am also determined to do my best to see that others do not have to go through this nonsense. I am not sure of exactly what I can do; yet, I will be giving it my best. I am asking for an investigation within the SSA Civil Rights Division (which is a part of their internal process and feels to me like the fox guarding the hen house). I am writing formal complaints to be submitted to external agencies and am giving my documentation to other investigative agencies.

Oh! And then there is MY attorney. I now have to hire an attorney, not because my claim is bogus, but because this agency is clearly and repeatedly violating my rights. They are now clearly "acting up" because I have already reported a specific caseworker. It's additionally reasonably clear, and I am alleging, they are blatantly discriminating against me because they think they can get away with it, due to my psych diagnoses (as disclosed to the SSA for SSDI review.)

While I do realize this type of an account might be scary and a bit unsettling to some/all of us, I am sharing in order to help us all to identify options if we ever find ourselves in a similar situation. I have started a resource thread for reporting discrimination and/or rights violations occurring with any interactions with the SSA. The resource thread is located in the "Insurance Forum." I will add to that thread as I move through this process, noting which agencies are most helpful, etc.

Most Sincerely and With Love to All

Wild Coyote, I am speechless that you are still struggling with SSDI for no good reason. Their internal chaos should not be hurting anyone, and it's especially terrible to be causing such strife for a person on disability.

Stay strong and vigilant, my friend! Thank you for sharing your story so we know what is possible, in terms of SS snafu.

[Sunflower123]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Jennifer 1967, how are you? I assume you had a better sleep last night than the one before?

I did, thank you. I’ve been sleeping sitting up in the recliner. I have appointments soon with both my PCP and NP and will run the episode by both.

[Sunflower123]

Wild Coyote - I’m sorry you are going through this nightmare. It’s so unnecessary and messed up. It’s downright scary that this could happen. Much support my friend.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by BirdDancer

Wild Coyote, I am speechless that you are still struggling with SSDI for no good reason. Their internal chaos should not be hurting anyone, and it's especially terrible to be causing such strife for a person on disability.

Stay strong and vigilant, my friend! Thank you for sharing your story so we know what is possible, in terms of SS snafu.

Good Morning, BirdDancer!
It's always a pleasure!

Thank you for reading. As I look back over my post, I can see it's a bit fragmented. However, I think I get the basic story across.

I had forgotten to mention: Not only have they been denying me my rights to information, rights to more info, my rights to appeal any decision handed down, the caseworker I've reported, had been calling and telling me to just "go with it and appeal sometime in the future," not even advising me of any time limit within which I must file any appeal or giving me any other pertinent information..

Both the content of her calls and of her letters are not only against SSA protocol/regulations, she clearly treats me like I am an imbecile. Who talks to another adult they way she does? When an adult applicant is repeatedly requesting info re: rights, who says "just go with it?" It's so very condescending.

Does she say these types of things to every applicant? Or maybe only to applicants with some psych diagnoses (in the mix of all diagnoses utilized to qualify for disability)???

And if a person was, indeed, seriously impaired when she'd treated him/her this way, coaching them to "just go with it," what would happen to the client/applicant?

Forgive my little rant, please?
This infuriates me. I am not the only person she has done this to, I am sure.

I saw your goals for the day, BirdDancer! I hope you have a fruitful day!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I did, thank you. I’ve been sleeping sitting up in the recliner. I have appointments soon with both my PCP and NP and will run the episode by both.

Oh! So happy to know you are staying safe, taking great care!
Thanks for your support!

Originally Posted by Jennifer 1967

I did, thank you. I’ve been sleeping sitting up in the recliner. I have appointments soon with both my PCP and NP and will run the episode by both.

I'm so glad and relieved to read this, Jennifer

[Nammu]

Originally Posted by Wild Coyote

Still sparring with the SSA re: my SSDI claim, which is over 30 yrs old and has been paid for that time. Upon a review, the whole claim became "undone."

They've argued : The don't know who I am. I've never had a claim. They have records showing I have been working. And more.
How do you know I 've been working if you don't know who I am?
I can show you that you've been paying me, via Direct Deposit. ETC.

A caseworker assigned to me REFUSES to inform me of my rights, including my right to appeal, how to appeal, etc.
I'd reported the caseworker, forwarding her letters to me then to the area manager, who oversees operations under her local jurisdiction. All of this was done by certjfied mail, etc.

Now I am paying a price! Surprise! The SSA has collected all kinds of medical records this year. It is my right to request my SSDI record, meaning all info gathered and used to make an SSDI determination. I've also requested they advise me of my rights. I'd sent this request in to the SSA's regional manager by certified mail. The response (from the area manager , after I had made a formal complaint against a caseworker under her jurisdiction) was to send me my own letters! Her note to me: You've requested your records. here they are. These are your documents. If you want someone else to see them, show them. (huh?) I have asked, 3 times in writing, for them to advise me of my rights, too. Are they going to do so or not? The whole process for reporting rights violations within the SSA is like: The fox guarding the hen house.

I've made my requests in writing, via certified mail.
Still, they refuse to give me any info I need and to which I am entitled.

I have their ridiculous letters , repeatedly written to me. The letters CLEARLY show they are violating my rights. I also believe this group of SSA agents are discriminating against me, treating me this way due to my having psych diagnoses (along with medical diagnoses). Their letters blatantly disregard my requests and my rights. They have tried, in writing, to intimidate me into my not insisting upon my rights within this process. I know this all seems unbelievable! It is absolutely true; in fact, my knowledge/viewpoint is understated here.

The Disability Determination Services Unit here had contacted my pdoc, telling her they had to have her session notes immediately. She wanted to help me, so she forwarded the notes. THIS DEMAND IS AGAINST SSA/SSDI REGUALTIONS. SSA/SSDI information releases states all
records are to be released, EXCEPT session/visit notes with a pdoc. yet, another infraction.

The entire process, the two agencies involved, have been violating my rights since day one of this mess.

I have located the SSA/SSDI Manual online. The steps, as outlined within their own regulations, have been totally ignored by this local SSA office. All documents are enroute in a formal complaint to the Civil Rights Division of the SSA. This is the process which must be taken within the SSA ...AND anyone is free to also report to any/all other interested Civil Rights agencies.

I am leaving out some (additionally) very alarming infractions which have been made by these two agencies. I have documented these infractions and am submitting the very clear evidence to investigative agencies.

I've established an ongoing "paper trail" of letters received and written, along with documentation of their receipt of my written statements and requests, etc, I also have a detailed file of notes made contemporaneously when having any contact with SSA. agents/employees.

I am determined to win my case.
I am also determined to do my best to see that others do not have to go through this nonsense. I am not sure of exactly what I can do; yet, I will be giving it my best. I am asking for an investigation within the SSA Civil Rights Division (which is a part of their internal process and feels to me like the fox guarding the hen house). I am writing formal complaints to be submitted to external agencies and am giving my documentation to other investigative agencies.

Oh! And then there is MY attorney. I now have to hire an attorney, not because my claim is bogus, but because this agency is clearly and repeatedly violating my rights. They are now clearly "acting up" because I have already reported a specific caseworker. It's additionally reasonably clear, and I am alleging, they are blatantly discriminating against me because they think they can get away with it, due to my psych diagnoses (as disclosed to the SSA for SSDI review.)

While I do realize this type of an account might be scary and a bit unsettling to some/all of us, I am sharing in order to help us all to identify options if we ever find ourselves in a similar situation. I have started a resource thread for reporting discrimination and/or rights violations occurring with any interactions with the SSA. The resource thread is located in the "Insurance Forum." I will add to that thread as I move through this process, noting which agencies are most helpful, etc.

Most Sincerely and With Love to All

This does scare me quite a bit. Oh lord that they are putting anyone though that is horrible. I hope you and your lawyer can soon put this to rest.

[xRavenx]

Happy New Year's Eve everyone.
Today, I decided I will treat myself to Thai food to takeout for dinner, even though it is a little pricey. I'm just relaxing with my brother and a couple of family members and staying over there for the night. It helps my anxiety that not too many people will be there. Sometimes I look at others and feel pressure to do something more elaborate, but I remind myself that I am not into those big, loud places either way. As far as my depression goes, I still do feel pretty numb, and I still have to talk to my pdoc about this next week. Not sure how much of it is the meds or not. I am afraid of starting something new and experiencing the same results or worse than that. But decreasing my medication without adding something sounds risky, since I have been experiencing an episode making it nearly impossible to work. Anyway, it is taking a lot of energy to remain hopeful, but I am going to try to pull through somehow. I hope everyone has a nice day and evening.

WC, I am speechless. What a nest of A**holery!!!!! Inexcusable.
Stay strong, my friend.

Having a bad day so far. I hope today gets better, but I doubt it. I think my therapist's comments are just bothering me too much.

I'm not even tired, but I want to sleep because this day sucks. I'm sure I'll feel better tomorrow after I've slept it off, though.

On the upside, I will be getting Chinese (hopefully).

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Nammu

This does scare me quite a bit. Oh lord that they are putting anyone though that is horrible. I hope you and your lawyer can soon put this to rest.

It is quite scary. I do get frustrated, tired, stressed. I am glad I have had previous experience in having to document interactions, etc, for legal purposes. not everyone has that experience or the skills. Nor should they have to have such skills. These people are getting runover by representatives of the SSA. The case workers are supposed to be assisting the claimant.

In commercial insurance, there are often incentives for employees to wrap up cases, regardless of how it is done, by the end of each month. Makes me wonder if the SSA offers incentives for their employees to do the same?
What other reason would there be for this caseworker to treat me like that? She was overly eager to close the case. She cannot do so if I file an appeal.

I think they should have to pay my legal fees. I do not know if I can make that happen; if I can do so , I will be doing it.

At some point, I will also be showing all of these letters and more to my federal U.S. Senators, etc. They need to know how the SSA is treating their constituents.

This is incredibly stressful. I have done this much without any legal advice. I am getting tired though, so it must be time to turn my documentation over to a private attorney. I want the fees covered by the SSA; they are causing the need for an attorney. I am sure there is some federal legal act which protects the SSA and its employees.

Thanks for listening!

[Nammu]

Hard to believe that in less than 12 hours it will be 2020. When I was a kid 2020 was a future filled with hope and flying cars. Weekend get-a-ways to the moon and rockets blasting off for parts unknown. Talking wristwatches,...well we sort of got those and Skype is like face to face phones. But where's the hope? Where's the optimistic hope in peace and the bright shiny future.

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Innerzone

WC, I am speechless. What a nest of A**holery!!!!! Inexcusable.
Stay strong, my friend.

It's so... unbelievable!
I mean, all these caseworkers have to do is to advise claimants of their rights, in writing and help them to navigate the system. WHY do anything else? Why not just do it? What is the incentive to do otherwise?

This caseworker saw my diagnoses and thought I was an easy mark. I am not. Never have been and hope to never be an easy mark. The thing is, any one of us could easily become an "easy mark" at any time, depending upon life circumstances. Absolutely anyone can fit that category anytime. We just never know in life.

This agency which is supposed to be assisting people who have become disabled is taking advantage of the most vulnerable?

My SSDI record was designated as "severely disabled," and also lists a number of physical disabilities, along with a couple of psych diagnoses. I became a target for some reason.

I firmly believe they are violating rights and are also discriminating in how they are treating certain groups of people.

It is time they answer for these types of horrible offenses.

I appreciate your input and your ongoing support!

[Wild Coyote]

Originally Posted by Nammu

Hard to believe that in less than 12 hours it will be 2020. When I was a kid 2020 was a future filled with hope and flying cars. Weekend get-a-ways to the moon and rockets blasting off for parts unknown. Talking wristwatches,...well we sort of got those and Skype is like face to face phones. But where's the hope? Where's the optimistic hope in peace and the bright shiny future.

Do you remember the cartoon show entitled, "The Jetsons?"
Their life was very futuristic! As you have pointed out, we now have many of these capabilities.

I recall reading a weekly "newspaper" in the classroom, while in the second grade. It was teling us that one day, we will no longer carry money (paper bills, coins). It said we would be using plastic cards for most transactions. I found that idea hard to believe. And now, there are additional methods to pay and I am guessing plastic cards will eventually fade out, too .

Nammu, I agree with you. It does seem like the Ringing in Of the New Year brought much more excitement, vision, hope... overall optimism!

As I write this, I am wondering if it's just you and me who feels things have changed?

Yet, no. I have talked at length with my nieces and nephews about their viewpoints, their hopes, their dreams, etc. They are not very optimistic, in general.

I really do want to be optimistic! I just feel like things have changed drastically in the past 10 years or maybe longer. (?)

Thanks for sharing!

I have gotten a little side tracked from my planned goals today. I've only made it through 9 pages of what I wanted to work on. Then I went to the grocery store and picked up a Whopper Jr. at BK. I hadn't thought of the grocery store but realized we had nothing for dinners and no milk or OJs. On my way home, I went through the BK drive through. The clerk I always like there gave me my drink, took my money, and then had to holler at me because I started driving away without my food. Ha ha! Luckily I heard him and backed up. He said he was going to have to run after me. This type of thing is so common for me. My brain dwells in another realm.

Now I'm home and unloaded the groceries. I've got to get back on track with some of my remaining goals. I do want to shower before dinner, because I feel and look "quite in need of a shower". I think tonight I'll boil the fresh lobster raviolis I bought, and make a pink sauce with shrimp for them and sugar snap peas. For tomorrow, I bought meat for a Czech favorite called "Svickova na Smetane" with Czech dumplings. All very high in fat and cholesterol, which is what I should avoid. To top off the artery clogging, I plan to make homemade creme brulee tomorrow. My lactose intolerant hubby will be popping lots of Lactaid pills. After New Years, low saturated fat diet! I want to try the Mediterranean diet.