Road My Own, by Beth 12/28

It was awful, scary. I do use a med box. There are too many little round white pills, they should be rainbow colored! Anyway, I took the 60mg tonight and all is well.

Take your meds to jelly belly they can color and sugar coat them ,and sell you the vomit jelly bean (when one gets lost in your mouth and starts dissolving ,Yuck!)

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Originally Posted by Misterpain Take your meds to jelly belly they can color and sugar coat them ,and sell you the vomit jelly bean (when one gets lost in your mouth and starts dissolving ,Yuck!)

I love it! There's even a Jelly Belly factory not far from where I live -And vomit jelly bean...ugggh, yes, that gross taste of the lost-in-mouth pill

Actually took the proper 60mg Latuda last night. No problems. I'm just hoping that within a week or so the Latuda makes a dent in the afternoon creepies. I slept through most of that time today...not the best solution.

Does afternoon napping disturb your ability to getting a good nights sleep ?!

Pffff,napping ? I am jealous of people with narcolepsy ,all i heard was lepsy and signed up, i got epilepsy darn it .

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Originally Posted by ~Christina Does afternoon napping disturb your ability to getting a good nights sleep ?!

You'd think so, but no. I just want to sleep more. Although...I'm pretty sure it's meds that knock me out like that. Lately, all I want to do is sleep. I mean, seriously. If I could I'd just stay in bed and sleep until spring.

I don’t sleep much but I stay in bed a lot in the winter because I’m warm.

Becareful walking the line of mapping it’s really not something a person with Bipolar should do routinely.

Usually when we get tired late afternoon , if we just get up and do something for 10-15 mind is enough to push past it.

Take a walk. , clean bathroom , vacuum etcetc anything that gets you on your feet and moving.

While adjusting to new Med or dose change it can be okay just don’t let it be a long term thing depression is too easy to trigger

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Originally Posted by ~Christina I don’t sleep much but I stay in bed a lot in the winter because I’m warm. Becareful walking the line of mapping it’s really not something a person with Bipolar should do routinely. Usually when we get tired late afternoon , if we just get up and do something for 10-15 mind is enough to push past it. Take a walk. , clean bathroom , vacuum etcetc anything that gets you on your feet and moving. While adjusting to new Med or dose change it can be okay just don’t let it be a long term thing depression is too easy to trigger

Thanks, Christina. Honestly...I needed to hear that. I've been doing my usual errands, chores, and of course taking care of the cats - but more and more I'm living to be in bed.

I don't know how the Latuda's doing. I know it's given me a major hand tremor, so I guess the stuff is doing something. I don't know anymore, I've lost track.

Bad dreams all night, but that wasn't the med. Yesterday was anything but easy. Sooo much pain with my daughter, such a horribly rough day, then my therapist was in a meeting and showed up 15 minutes late; had forgotten she had a 2 o'clock. I was ripping mad and the entire second floor knew it. I've never screamed fu*k so many times in a row.

Nothing makes sense so I'll mop the floor.

Congrats on not moping the floor with therapist,and if it helps I was trained that creative use òf more colorful language is a sign of health and does truly relieve stress .unfortunately from this side of the keyboard ,I can't even guesstimate if the Latuda is doing anything ,I have no experience with it ( time to start trying samples ,so I can burn that t shirt too).

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Originally Posted by Misterpain Congrats on not moping the floor with therapist,and if it helps I was trained that creative use òf more colorful language is a sign of health and does truly relieve stress .unfortunately from this side of the keyboard ,I can't even guesstimate if the Latuda is doing anything ,I have no experience with it ( time to start trying samples ,so I can burn that t shirt too).

Thanks for the giggles!

Can you tell I am the cynical class clown my whole life .

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Originally Posted by Misterpain Can you tell I am the cynical class clown my whole life .

Why, I never would have guessed!

Yesterday, for the first time since the time change, the afternoon passed without being creepy (deeply anxious/depressed). I actually forgot to even think about it until I realized that I'd forgotten. I'm begging the universe allow Latuda to give me the gift of peaceful afternoons.

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Originally Posted by BethRags Yesterday, for the first time since the time change, the afternoon passed without being creepy (deeply anxious/depressed). I actually forgot to even think about it until I realized that I'd forgotten. I'm begging the universe allow Latuda to give me the gift of peaceful afternoons.

Repeat for today!

Fantastic!! I’m glad that awful tremor must have settled down and you didn’t deal with that major anxiety

Thanks, Christina! That's 2 afternoons in a row that were fairly easy. The tremor (hands) is still bad, but I have my shaky fingers crossed for Dr. W. to come up with an idea.

The edge is taken off of the afternoon depression/anxiety/agitation. However, the tremor is discouraging because I cannot foresee raising the Latuda dose with a tremor this pronounced.

Bad night of restless sleep and disturbing dreams. Dreamt I was getting married to my husband (we were both much younger in the dream). I had to wear a traditional white wedding gown (not my preference). I was trying to shave my legs with my wedding dress on and I was stressed. But I managed it, so I guess it wasn't such a bad dream, lol.

Sad about Kobe Bryant and his daughter. Watching the Grammys and feeling rather old.

Good sleep. Rumination. Or maybe this is what is called "racing thoughts."

I think you need to ask your T for help in trying to identify what’s what. I’ve had to enlist my T ALOT over the years.

It’s really about do a self check honestly no matter what has you uncomfortable it real boils down to find things to distract you.

My go to of course is cleaning ? I’ve often pulled clean dishes from the cupboards and hand wash , it’s soothing hot water and lots of suds.

I told my husband if he doesn’t get his desk top cleaned off ill do it LOL ! He’s always worried I’ll throw out something important, which i would not , but I don’t think we need to keep a receipt from grocery store 3 weeks ago.

Have you learned how to really do a real self check ???

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Originally Posted by ~Christina I think you need to ask your T for help in trying to identify what’s what. I’ve had to enlist my T ALOT over the years. It’s really about do a self check honestly no matter what has you uncomfortable it real boils down to find things to distract you. My go to of course is cleaning ? I’ve often pulled clean dishes from the cupboards and hand wash , it’s soothing hot water and lots of suds. I told my husband if he doesn’t get his desk top cleaned off ill do it LOL ! He’s always worried I’ll throw out something important, which i would not , but I don’t think we need to keep a receipt from grocery store 3 weeks ago. Have you learned how to really do a real self check ???

I'm a cleaner, too. Chores give focus and a sense of having accomplished something.

My T says the same thing Dr. W. says. "BP and PTSD."


What confuses me is obsessive thinking part of BP, or is it it's own thing, whatever that might be (OCD, for example). I did read an article today about the strong correlation between OCD and BP, with the looping thoughts being prevalent.


Tell me what you mean by a self check. I'm horrible at remember those terms.

Okay well BP and PTSD are your diagnosis..

But to learn out to pick things apart is just really hard hard work in T taking on dysfunctional thinking, altho BP and PTSD have a lot of the same symptoms you have to approach them both from different angles

For me my Bipolar really stirs up feeling worthless , loss of self esteem , unwanted, lost , anger irritation. Sadness at all I have lost the ability to do physically , knowing it’s unlikely I’ll find pain relief from Fibro.

My PTSD ? It’s pure rage it’s dark angry, scary and I feel like I’m drowning in blood, flash backs almost constant. Nonstop high anxiety I’ll feel like I’m vibrating and nauseous as hell

For me ..... All that PTSD stuff will trigger my BP.

To self ground you need to learn mindfulness. .. it takes some work to truly be able to do it , here’s the basic

Pick one thing to stare at , maybe it’s a book on a bookshelf , or a chair, a pillow on the couch , whatever.

So you begin to focus on you item... notice all the little details like “ ok it’s a bright pillow, it has blue trim , if your mind start to wander off you snap your self back to all the details you can see, imagine how it feels , anytime you feels anything else in your mind you refocus on that item.

I failed at this for weeks , I was trying it 10-15 times a day , I would get furious if stomp around and yell or cry or both. , I struggled to focus

One day it just clicked holy hell my mind was quiet, my mind had never been so quite.

I broke my anxiety and rumination

Mindfulness to me is one of the freaking hardest coping skills there is to learn.

No it doesn’t always work and sometimes I get even more anxiety or irritation or anger or sad and then I have to fall back to distractions distractions distractions.

What goes on when you see your T? Do you guys make goals ?? I am very goal orientated , I don’t know any other way to do Therapy. Whatever is bothering me is what we work on, some times I’ve been able to resolve it during the session other time I’ll figure it out days later or just work again in the next session

How are you addressing your PTSD ? Therapy for BP and PTSD are different.

Some T’s do EMDR, my T is 70 and thinks is mostly useless, but it helps many people.

The reality is PTSD will calm down once your on the other side of it .. but it will always be there,a sound , a smell, might trigger it. I know specific ones that are triggers so I can remove those things

My ptsd is pretty calm for a few months and I’m grateful.

Rumination is one of the worse things a person can do, so I’d make that my first goal. Truly learn mindfulness or whatever skill that you know will work most of the time.

I don’t know if any of that will help but I hope something dose, you deserve peace.

It did my heart good to see Billy Eilish win so much so young ,she's got alot of talent in a small package ,I am just hoping she doesn't fall into drugs and alcohol to cope with her mew celebrity fame ,I have seen to many go down that rabitt hole. (40 years of collecting and 4,500+ albums across almost every genre)

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Originally Posted by Misterpain It did my heart good to see Billy Eilish win so much so young ,she's got alot of talent in a small package ,I am just hoping she doesn't fall into drugs and alcohol to cope with her mew celebrity fame ,I have seen to many go down that rabitt hole. (40 years of collecting and 4,500+ albums across almost every genre)

I was really happy that she won so many Grammies. She seems to be a level-headed kid, definitely no BS about her.