Bipolar check-in #42

I hope you don't feel like you have to read all of the posts in order to participate here. Anyone can ask for support for wherever they are at in their journey.

Please do continue to post and to reach out here. We all know you have been having a very challenging time and I know I would like to hear of how things are going for you and would like the option of continuing to offer support to you whenever I am able to do so.

I am sure others feel the same way!

You are important here simply for being you; you do not need do more than to be here when you feel up to doing so.

I hope you will continue to participate without feeling guilty or otherwise inhibited.

Much Love

Well, still couldn't fall asleep last night until I had been up for about 24 hours or so, but once I did, I managed to sleep for about 5 hours uninterrupted--a huge victory in my current world. What I don't know is if the Thorazine and Depakote I took at 9 pm had anything to do with those 5 hours. Will have to ask the pdoc Monday.

Anyway, maybe if I can keep this part going, I can then address the falling asleep part and get that fixed. Then, I could maybe be in good shape. Still have to deal with the trauma, though.

That said, interestingy enough, I woke up feeling extremely anxious and awful emotionally. Immediately started thinking about how much financial flexibility I once had and how little I now have and it felt bad. Felt like failure. But then, I did some quickie CBT and remembered that I am doing the best I can in my situation and that anyone who had gone through what I have been through would almost certainly be way, way worse off--possibly homeless.

So, I'm okay now. Accept reality. Do what you can. Don't have unrealistic expectations. You have an incurable, life-threatening illness of the brain. Remember that. That's what I try to do.

Hugs and love to all.

You can get picked up by police for not being properly attired you know.

I'm empty. Sorry, nothing good to say.
Que os vaya bien.

Am I being a worry wart? I am afraid of getting the Coronavirus because Boston/Cambridge has a HUGE Chinese population. Lots of Chinese students study at Harvard and MIT when they can't get into Oxford.... And well, the Chinese (and nothing against them) have "reliably" brought over SARS, H1N1, etc..

I am afraid to go to Chinatown now, but I have to go to that area in 1 week's time for work. I am thinking about backing out. I feel like going to Chinatown is asking for an instant infection. Not that the rest of Boston would be much safer, but I mean... it's CHINAtown.

I think I have to go though. I think there is no backing out without serious repercussions, but if there is an outbreak in that area, I am going to stay far away and make up some BS excuse. I think the CDC said that a single cough from someone is enough to infect you!! No thanks!!

Oh had I been on 22 episodes I could have died a happy woman lol !

If scrabble is causing you such anxiety and causing you to not only drink but your taking 6 times your benzo dose?? Do you realize how unhealthy that is for you ? Not only that but drinking and intentional taking 6 times your benzo ?? Do you not want to wake up in the morning ???

You need to step back and re evaluate your actions.

Stay safe.

It’s hard to take something that tamps down the Hypo, but you weren’t having enjoyable Hypo, weren’t you in a horrible state of mind??

I’m glad your feeling better

I hope you have a wonderful dinner.

Yes we all have to decide to what level we share ourselves online.

Congrats again on having a recipe published

Gentle hugs. Go easy on yourself

I think your concern is real. I’d wait a few days and see how our country is being effected, if anymore cases start popping up I’d just tell my boss considering the health risk possibility your just not willing to take the risk.

I can’t imagine someone being so horrible to expect someone to take a risk, the CDC is all over TV talking about it.

I say if even a single person anywhere remotely in your region is diagnosed with it, cancel. Nobody can force you to take a potentially life-threatening risk like that. We have one case fairly close. Staying where I am.

I did get some sleep, not nearly enough but my body got all bossy and got me up because of pain... sigh cleaning , cooking.

My husband watched the dumbest B rated movies, My viewing standards are much higher I guess lol

Yeah, I think I'll wait a few days like you said.

I saw a terrifying video that the Chinese government tried to censor. Some nurse said that over 90,000 people are infected in China and that the government is grossly lying about the numbers. (I think they said 1200???) She is begging for aid (disposable clothes, goggles, etc.), and they are building a 1000 bed hospital in 6 days. I'm pretty sure you have NO reason to build a 1000 bed hospital in 6 days "for only 1200 people," and you have NO reason to lockdown several cities "for only 1200 people." Ughh!!

Yeah, I am afraid of the risk that comes with it too. I think most people who have died were elderly and young, though. But still, it is nasty and I'd really prefer not to have it!! *hint hint*

I hope you're able to stay safe with the Coronavirus there. Reminds me of when I was living in downtown and these 2 girls down the hallway had H1N1. Freaked me out.

Yes I don’t buy there reports ... a hospital in 10 days ??? Ummmm yeah

I’ve not heard what this hospital will be made of... probably mass tents like were erected with the Eboil crisis.

They are differently hiding things.

We had a possible case here in TN but he tested negative, of course he lived at Tennessee Tech college so it could have been a disaster if he was. Another college has students kids in ground zero area there and are being told to stay indoors , hopefully they have enough food to wait this out.

Just reading... Watching "Are You Being Served?" Love that show. Gonna fall asleep to it. All comfy in bed.
Goodnight

Haven't seen Are You Being Served in a long time! I loved the cheeky tone. Of course my ***** watched it too!

I don't know that my tv watching standards are very high, I've watched some pretty bad movies,.....most were on Halmark

I think China is lying too. They aren't known for their high morals. Yeah a hospital in 6 days! With slave labor no doubt. I'm not too worried. As only 2 confirmed ceases are in USA. Yes 22 states have suspected illness but non is confirmed as of now. The thing is we do have better sanitary facilities here. Still I'd worry if I had to visit a China town. The incubation time is worrisome.

Thanks ~Christina
I had a horrible mixed month, really bad symptoms. Self-harm, irritability , etc. That was followed by a week of hypo. (Upped lithium about 2 days before the hypomania started). After about a week of a higher dose of Li, the hypo is gone too.

Countdown to see my Pdoc: 2 days. We’ve got to discuss meds. I made a list of symptoms and thoughts so he has a better idea of my state. And also so I don’t forget.

Haha the curse of the auto correct, my p u s s y watched it too. Ya had to have seen the show!

LOL, Nammu!!

OMG!!!
Thanks for a great laugh!

thanks! I needed that!

Nammu, I think you should come out to play more often!

It's not original to me. If you've ever seen Are You Being Served its a frequent punch line. It was a great show.

Haha! Yup!

That it is! Interesting that it became so popular in the early 90s. So popular that there was a huge long line to say hi to John Inman in person at the mall.