Bipolar check-in #42

Ooh! Are they homemade- you know with a bowl and spoon and brown sugar and vanilla etc? Place-and-bakes just aren't the same to me. My ex makes the best chocolate chip cookies. He's perfected the recipe over the years.

Congrats on 100 days! That's so great.

Slow day here. Taking N3 to his piano lesson in an hour. He actually practiced this week! I hope it shows at his lesson. I slept in and had crazy dreams about giving birth. Peter didnt hear from me this morning- sometimes I need a break from people- and in fact I specifically need a permanant break from HIM- so he texted me was there something wrong with me- maybe something happened. I feel smothered and im getting to think that his version of our relationship is not the same as mine. In fact, I want to end it. Period. Now *I* want to make chocolate chip cookies but I have no chocolate chips and my daughter took the cooking bowls when she moved out! *sigh...*

Considering that my husband joined me at the grocery store, we kept the bill comparatively low. When hubby comes, there are always many items in the cart that would not be there if I went alone. It always annoys me that he gets a separate cart from me. That 1) furthers the risk of him buying all kinds of miscellaneous stuff, 2) makes it look like we're buying for a family of six instead of two, 3) we sometimes end up with duplicate items, and 4) he's never to be found. I spend half the time trying to track him down in the store. I try to call him on my cell phone, but he never answers. I'm kind of a "Boom, boom, boom!" shopper. He's a sloooooooooow browser.

Of course he also buys items that are extremely tempting for me, that I usually never buy. He just says "Well then don't eat them!" I'm referring to a French-style yogurt in glass jars called "Oui" by Yoplait. They're just too hard to say "Non!" to. They remind us of southern Bohemian (Czech) style yogurts.

Yes, they are home made. I agree that place-and-bakes aren't the same

The prospect of losing your vision must, indeed, be terrifying!

Is there any way of telling, through your current exams, if you have any symptoms he had, as in symptoms/findings more specific to the same condition he had?

I've watched a very good friend slowly lose her vision to "Wet AMD." She has always been a very active person and an avid reader. The changes have been difficult for her.

I feel it takes courage to share about our fears. I am grateful you feel you can open up here!

Let's hope you are on a different path than was your dad.

Let's hope your vision will be just fine.

(((((( Nammu ))))))

I am thinking maybe you could use a hug?

You give a lot of understanding and support here and do not ask for much.

I hope the Abilify helps out right away.

Keep us posted?
Much Love, IZ!

I don't think I can stay awake right now in order to respond to all I'd love to respond to....
I hope everyone has a restful night and a wonderful new day tomorrow!!!

Love to All!

Hubby and I did voice recordings and a survey for an NPR experiment on voice crunching. Basically they want to see how well technology does in understanding English speakers of various backgrounds. It was fun! There was a portion where you pick one of two listed topics to talk about freely. Then you read a long list of sentences. If anyone else is interested in contributing to such a experiment, you can read about it on NPR's (National Public Radio's) website at NPR Choice page

Rest well, WC. I'm tempted to take a nap myself, all bundled and warm in a quilt made by my mum.

Ah, oui. Oui is boooooon.

Hugs to all who are struggling. Not much to share here. Long talk with pdoc last night. Next on the Hit Parade is Thorazine. He feels confident it will knock me on my butt. I am not. But I will happily try anything.

I have never tried Thorazine but I can see how it might knock people on their butts. I hope you do well on it.

Finally have all the documents needed for the new apartment complex. Will likely meet with my case manager this week to drop stuff off.

I'm doing well overall. I hung out with my friend yesterday. We watched a funny movie then played one of his card games, Marvel Champions.

The afternoon/early evening today was weird, I just felt very disconnected from reality. I took a really hot shower and chewed some gum to try to kind of ground myself. I'm feeling better now. Probably need to cut back on the caffeine. It's kind of hit or miss on how it affects me, sometimes I can drink tons of coffee all day long and have no problems, feel great, other times it sets off some severe anxiety.

I kind of took the past two days "off" from stressing so I've avoided thinking about the move and some other stuff going on because I spent a week stressed beyond belief and feeling like being ready to snap. I needed a break from myself basically.

Started implementing some better habits into my life. Praying the Rosary daily, reading 50 pages every day, drinking more water, taking more walks.

It's been freezing here lately, around 10 degrees Fahrenheit or less, plus a lot of wind. I'm just glad to have a warm apartment with my two cats.

Shared custody of my dog continues to go well. She spent a total of almost two hours with her new mom today. She did very well and got along nicely with her cat, which was a concern. My dog is so sweet and gentle and cute! She will be a nice addition to my neighbor's home.

Starting to be sad and i know i will be heartbroken to see her go permanently. But sadness i can take. Anxiety, no.

I'm depressed today. Drama causing it.

Also, I keep having these dreams of a sexual or romantic nature, but they aren't always (or usually even) about my husband. While I feel such peace and happiness in the dream, that I'm loved and people want to please me, I wake up and feel sadness and also guilt. It's been happening for a long time, but it's been worse over the past year. Sigh!

Glad you got through your busy stressful day..I had to do that holter monitor last year , it wasn’t awful more just annoying for me.. hope you get some sleep

Sorry no sleep but I’m glad you mood is lifted

Oh damn IZ

I hate your having a journey down

I hope that Abilify boots you back up quickly.

When will you see new Pdoc? Do you have enough Abilify to hold you over ??

Many gentle hugs my friend I’m always here if you need me

Glad your having a happy day

I had therapy today. My plan was to run into one store afterwards and then head home and take a nap because I had a bad night last night. I was stopped in a right turn lane waiting to go to the store when a lady who was looking in her rearview mirror instead of what was going on in front of her hit me. Everyone is fine and my car only has minor damage (if for some reason her insurance won't pay for it I probably won't fix it). Subarus as tough. Her car has easily $1000-$2000 of damage and it was a low speed hit.

So instead of getting home and getting cozy I had to stand outside for 45 minutes waiting for the police to come and then I had to do my errand.

Oh, and my tire pressure went low so I went to the oil change place and had that and my oil topped off. It was 23 degrees and I didn't feel like with the air pump while I was still shaken up. So I got that done and my oil topped off and got home too late to nap. Hopefully I'll get to sleep early tonight.

Tomorrow I have a dilemma. My small group (Bible study) is meeting for the first time in quite a while because of holidays and personal problems for the leader. I want to go but they are having pizza. I'm starting to add foods to my elimination diet but only applesauce. I am CRAVING pizza. I have to figure out if pizza and whatever else people bring will be too hard to look at without eating it or if I should wait for group to be on a less restricted diet. I have a feeling the waiting for the less restricted diet is going to be the answer. But I want to go. I can take my rice and applesauce but that just isn't pizza. I can't tell you how much I want pizza right now.

But overall, just so grateful nobody was hurt in the accident and that it was her driving distracted and not me. I live in fear of being pulled over or causing an accident because my mind sometimes wanders at bad times.

Yuck ! cold and flurries here I’m sure my 20’s is warmer that what you have to deal with.

I had to go out to pick up a couple meds today, I was looking for a cheaper hair product , I found one and was trying to read ingredients and directions ??? No way !!! I called my husband over he says “what bottle” joking, yes it was very very small print but my glasses aren’t that old either

Oh I use to love Magnum growing up !!!

Did your father go legally blind over something that is now treatable ?? Being blind is one of my biggest fear

What kind of puzzles do you like?

Mhmmmm cookies !!!!

I'm so glad you're ok, BeyondtheRainbow. You've shared a good reminder for us all to keep our eyes on the road.

Honestly .... I also prefer to leaving my husband at home when I grocery shop. Prior to changing of foods , he just would load up damn snack food, Donuts etc... I wold feel sick at so much money on junk stuff

I am also a very fast shopper, I have a list and I zoom through the store and get out lol

Are you feeling fully back 100 %!health wise now ??

Rest deeply hun