Bipolar check-in #42

bluebicycle, I felt relaxed just reading your low-stress sounding post. Enjoy the time with fewer people at the office!


Wild Coyote, keep at those SS people! Hopefully soon you'll finally be done with that nightmare.


Today was good for me. I did a lot of self-care that I don't normally do. My husband said he thinks my face is less red than yesterday, but I still see some redness. I hope it goes away. I have no idea what has caused it. I haven't used any new creams on my face. Hubby did put a cream on my forehead a few days ago, but the redness is not on my forehead.


I did some housework. Tomorrow the floors and bathrooms will be cleaned. I told hubby that perhaps afterwards we should invite our new neighbors over. I'm not up to anything major. Perhaps just drinks, tea/coffee, and a little dessert. We haven't even met them. We know they're Chinese, and we don't think they have any children.


Speaking of Chinese, hubby had the marvelous idea to go to a Chinese restaurant we discovered a month ago. That is, by far, the best authentic Chinese restaurant outside China towns. It is primarily a Szechuan restaurant (a lot of spicy), but they have other dishes, too. And it's very reasonably priced, with always lots of leftovers. Then this coming Saturday, we are invited to a Chinese friend's house for a Chinese New Years celebration. That will be absolutely marvelous! Chinese New Years celebrations are a most wonderful thing! So I guess this week I'll be practicing my rusty Chinese a bit. Our neighbors on the other side of us are mostly all Chinese, as well, but we never see them. They are 20 something year old graduate students at the university. I think they more often live in the labs.

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I’m glad to see your feeling better, extra self care can really help

Oh I would love some real Chinese food. My town has 2 Chinese buffets, nasty ! I want real order from a menu, but we don’t want to basically drive almost into downtown Nashville, we did it years ago, too expensive us now.

Did your husband enjoy the lecture ? Did you enjoy a bit of time for yourself ?

For now, we’ve settled on seeing my therapist 2 to 3 times per week instead of IOP unless anything changes. I had a rough appt with her on thurs so she called my husband in to both make sure he took care of everything sharp and come up with a game plan to give me company at night when this depression is at it’s worse. He didn’t follow through with the second part but it’s not entirely his fault. Last night for instance he had worked from 6-4:30 AM that day so he was exhausted and simply couldn’t make it and had to get back up at 4:30 this morning to do it all again. I told my mom the same thing (my t suggested we get her help as well) and she didn’t volunteer to help. She just told me to take more klonapin. But, like last night and tonight, she is keeping 2 of my brother’s kids so she couldn’t even if she planned it. Last night was another rough one. I couldn’t go to sleep until after 12 then I woke up again around 1 and then after 3 as well. Now today is also rough and my husband is working all day so it’s just me and the kids. I want to go back to sleep but I drank my regular coffee so I’m too awake. I feel worthless though so getting things done feels nearly impossible and I really want to because I want my husband to come home to a clean house and some of the laundry finished. Plus, I haven’t showered in 4 days and I cringe at the thought. But I know that is so disgusting. I just don’t want to get off the couch. I absolutely will though. I’m at the point I can’t even deal with myself right now. I feel so gross and my hair is all greasy. On the plus side, I’m down 18 lbs!

Nope nope nope toooo cold for me!!!! LOL !

I love that you have your niece in your life

Stay warm woman !!!! LOL !

Tonight my procrastination is in overdrive.

SO much work to do today....and I did nothing. Well, I cleaned out my closet, but it still feels like I did nothing.

I don't know why it is. I can't get motivated to do my work. There is so much I want to do and accomplish, but I can't get myself to do what I am supposed to.

Feeling like such a failure right now. Sigh.

Tonight my procrastination is in overdrive.


SO much work to do today....and I did nothing. Well, I cleaned out my closet, but it still feels like I did nothing.


I don't know why it is. I can't get motivated to do my work. There is so much I want to do and accomplish, but I can't get myself to do what I am supposed to.


Feeling like such a failure right now. Sigh.

Thats colder than here! Last January we had -40 windchills! School was cancelled. Its not easy to cancel schools for weather around here.

Oh hell no no no ! I’d die

Just waiting around, sitting on my couch, napping, waiting for the new dose of Lithium to kick in and for me to start feeling less depressed.


My pdoc really doesn't want me on an antidepressant but I might beg for one next time I see him.

What coping skills are you using ? It sucks to wait for a Med to kick in , so you have to fill that time with something .. any hobby? Cook ? Clean? Exercise ? Journaling? Maybe long walks unless your snow bound. Sometimes putting on a comedy , you might not start laughing but your subconscious will remember that the movie was funny and that can give you a little nudge.

I’m just rambling things I have done in the past some might help or be useless.

Just some thoughts

Just waiting around, sitting on my couch, napping, waiting for the new dose of Lithium to kick in and for me to start feeling less depressed.

My pdoc really doesn't want me on an antidepressant but I might beg for one next time I see him.

Same ole same ole. Flurrys and cold. Got my clothes washed yesterday and put away today. Even made the bed. Emotions are boringly stable. Which is a good thing of course. If the roads were better I'd go buy some puzzles. I'm soo bored that puzzles and coloring books have appeal. The book I'm reading is good but it's a small paperback with tiny print and my eyes are getting blurry again. I think I got glasses 6 months ago so much too soon for this!

Got the original magnum pi on but it's a flashback episode and is dark, hard to see. Worried about my eyes. Dad went legally blind younger than me. That's terrifying.